Poker in prison....AMA
So I have been playing online since the party poker days and played professionally for a few years before black Friday. Then just mostly for fun. I am in prison at a federal camp for money laundering. I get out in 2026 hopefully. So I just started getting back into poker in here but the games are SOOO much different. The dynamic is very bizarre. People will call river value bets so light because for some reason it makes you a coward if you fold too much and the worst thing to happen to someone is to get bluffed. The whole macho mentality is probably where most of that stems from.
I started a similar thread in live NL asking how beatable 10% take is in a game where high variance games are dealt and got a lot of questions regarding prison and poker. I am at a minimum security camp with mostly white collar guys some of which had American Greed episodes done on them. The field in these games is super soft nobody is positionally aware and nobody is keeping track of the pot sizes. There's only one other online pro who is here for a coke conspiracy he and I deal PLO and NL whenever we have the button the rest of the games are pretty crazy double even triple boards with 5 hole card hands. My out date is 2026 assuming I don't lose any good time. Everyone has a phone here but you can lose good time if you get caught with one. The cops here are too busy chasing down the contraband packs that come over the fence and inmates using K2 to care about poker games.
I grew up in San Diego and have a degree in biotechnology. I have been married 17 years and wife is in law school. I never thought I would be posting on here from prison.
So far Im playing about 25 hours a week at 1/2 am up about $640 in cash apps and about $70 in blue fin bags of tuna. Mostly eat fish for the protein as food here is trash. Cigarettes are banned in prison but they are big money here. An Oz of tobacco sells for about $100 w papers and $80 without lol. It's crazy how lucrative the contraband trade is here. Guys have people go to the store and buy 100 vapes at $10 a pop and sell each vape for $150 it's crazy these guys leave with more money than they came in with. Since it's a camp there's a lot of wire fraud white collar guys who run the tables and run sports books here.
No real gangs at a camp. What few gang members who are here are likely gang drop outs because the higher security prisons have a lot of politics so numbers are very important. If a gang member has security classification points low enough to go to a camp they are advised to get in as many fights and or do whatever it takes to be shipped to higher security if they want to "stay down for the cause." I know it sounds crazy.
The hardest part about adjusting to these games is not being able to run Sims or look at my database for problem hands. Online poker kind of spoiled me in that sense as I have probably played 1M hands online and maybe 2k hands live. I have never done one of these before so I hope that's enough about me for some questions.
Last two posts have recommended working for Martin Shkreli or Blackwater. 2+2 is certainly correctly identifying prospective employers who'd consider your prison stint an asset rather than a liability
Last two posts have recommended working for Martin Shkreli or Blackwater. 2+2 is certainly correctly identifying prospective employers who'd consider your prison stint an asset rather than a liability
I am not posting in jest. If the OP has legit biotech skills, it is better to do something in that area rather than look for fringe opportunities like poker or mercenary work.
If you split up with your wife, or if she likes France/traveling, and you are younger than 40yo, you can always try to join the French Foreign Legion for 5 years, and afterwards Blackwater will happily take you, allowing you to earn +$15k monthly.
A few dudes from the USA were going for that way, when i was there.
So far she has lasted 3 years we have been together 19 this past July. Although anything is possible I have seen many wives leave guys here.
How does the sports betting work? I assume only the people with connections can make book.
Could you make bets on something like the presidential race with other inmates or must everything go through the official guys?
Are sports bets super juiced or otherwise made unbeatable?
Is it more like a real bookie where you can bet on a wide range of stuff, or a weird prison version?
Great thread and good luck getting out ASAP. BTW, you mentioned home games... I would avoid those generally, but especially if on parole.
You write well and, while I doubt it can be a career, I bet you could sell a few articles about all this.
I've done some freelance writing and gambling articles always pay and are easy to sell because the sites actually make money due to affiliates, as opposed to say, a political or humor site.
How does the sports betting work? I assume only the people with connections can make book.
Could you make bets on something like the presidential race with other inmates or must everything go through the official guys?
Are sports bets super juiced or otherwise made unbeatable?
Is it more like a real bookie where you can bet on a wide range of stuff, or a weird prison version?
Great thread and good luck getting out ASAP. BTW, you mentioned home games... I would avoid those generally, but especially
The sports books are run by several different races. They get lines from cellphones and people either pay with cash app or commissary. Guys who have phones here usually just bet online. I'm interested in writing. I have always loved in in college and for whatever weird reason people have a lot of questions about prison. I didn't until I found out I was going. I realized how many content creators on YouTube have entire channels on the subject.
Join the Sicilian mafia and finally do something useful with your life!
Duh.... Who you think I was laundering money for?? BTW those types are not at all what you would expect. If you are not one of them they are so quick to tell on you.
Thats some funny tales. What did you do in the first place ? Money loundering but what specificially...?
Any MTTs in the prison? Multiple day events with slow blinds and big prizepools? Do they have whole card cameras on the feature table as well?
You donÂ’t want to be in front of a judge, ever.
I used too watch those court cases tv shows and the other real court cases, and without fault the judge is always dumb.
The scariest thing about judges is that theyÂ’re there to **** you up, and the have the power to do so.
All that rehabilitation bs is just that, bs for those willing to eat it. Prison do not rehabilitate people, if anything it makes them worse.
Everyone in a prison has at least two out of three of these following types : the scapegoat, the dumbass, and the criminal.
If youÂ’re a criminal, and not a dumbass; well you just donÂ’t get caught, so youÂ’re not in prison.
To know everything you want to know about the court system, you learn the hot beverage experiment.
You take ten judges, give 5 a cold drink, give 5 a hot drink; donÂ’t tell them nothing, on average the hot drink judges will give lighter sentences.
So yeah, everybody that thinks the court system is there to make a better safer world, and that the judges are there to help; and that the judge analyze your case and give a punishment relative to what you did, is a goddamn idiot~
You donÂ’t wanna be near a judge ever. Also, just being a judge in itself makes you a bad person. Anybody that judges everyday is bound to becoming an unloving cold bitter bitch.
The judges are there to either make money, or feel better about themselves; most likely a bit of the two.
When you love someone, you innately seek their best interests, and since judging is a concept almost diametrically opposite from love, stepping into a court is always a mistake.
The irony of it all is that judges sometimes brings a narrative of guiltlessness and remorselessness as a reason to give a heavier sentence; but the truth is that if you were truly feeling no guilt at all you wouldnÂ’t happen to face a court case because of the holographic mirror universe we live in. ItÂ’s best labelled as the narcissistic loophole.
Anyway, youÂ’re in jail now so you will have your butt taken care of, lose your poker hand or go back to your cell, either ways youÂ’re getting your ass ****ed.
Wtf?? I'm at a camp there's no booty bandits or shower sharks. Just white collar criminals. That was a really weird post. Psych meds are something I think you would benefit from.
You donÂ’t want to be in front of a judge, ever.
I used too watch those court cases tv shows and the other real court cases, and without fault the judge is always dumb.
The scariest thing about judges is that theyÂ’re there to **** you up, and the have the power to do so.
All that rehabilitation bs is just that, bs for those willing to eat it. Prison do not rehabilitate people, if anything it makes them worse.
Everyone in a prison has at least two out of three of these following types : the scapegoa
When autism and mental illness collide.
You donÂ’t want to be in front of a judge, ever.
I used too watch those court cases tv shows and the other real court cases, and without fault the judge is always dumb.
The scariest thing about judges is that theyÂ’re there to **** you up, and the have the power to do so.
All that rehabilitation bs is just that, bs for those willing to eat it. Prison do not rehabilitate people, if anything it makes them worse.
Everyone in a prison has at least two out of three of these following types : the scapegoa
The saddest part of this is you think you sound cool, but anyone who has sense or has actually done time knows exactly who you are.
Give me some chon chon!
Thanks for posting this... I can't think of any right now but I hope more questions come in.
Great thread.
I'm rooting for you brother. GL.
What an interesting post, good luck man!
