Criminal mental health lawyer, poker player, and mentally disabled

Schizophrenia is always intriguing; to my knowledge it occurs from a variety of factors and in some cases can develop without genetic predispositions. What environmental factors do you think contribute to schizophrenia in our society? Also, have you found your condition able to help you in certain ways while playing at the table? Are there also negative effects while playing?

What's an article/or something you would recommend I could read about your diagnosis?

child abuse and other childhood trauma are environmental factors that have been studied. Some say drug use might. I really don't know for sure, I have not studied the causes extensively.

The disability has helped with my poker play because the game provides a distraction from wandering thoughts and I am happily focused on the game. Also some antipsychotic drugs used to treat the disease have gambling as a side effect, probably because the high counteracts the severely sedating impacts of the meds. These both allowed me to put in high volume. Negative effects are misinterpreting social cues and being triggered by things most aren't, like prolonged eye contact, or getting overly emotional over losing.

I recommend Elyn Saks', the renown schizophrenic law professor's, autobiographical book The center cannot hold. You can also read more in my blog on this site. I would search for posts with the word psychosis or schizophrenia. Webmd and other medical sites have info as well.

You had me at hello.

Hello! I know my life is sorta a nightmare turned into a dream come true.

Why r u ghey

As a lawyer with mental health stuff going on, I thought you might be able to aid me with an argument I'm trying to make.

Long story short, I have full blown insomnia that comes and goes.

In 2021, I obtained a prescription for Ativan which helps me sleep and manage it. I've used it extremely carefully, so much that do this date I still have 6 pills left from the original script.

Unfortunately, I'm going through an episode of insomnia, and like I said, I only have a few pills left. I've already been rejected by two doctors on zocdoc after they read my blurb about needing medicine to treat insomnia.

On monday I have a meeting with my psychatrist. In the past, she has told me she doesn't believe in prescribing Ativan because it has a link to dementia. However, my read is that she can be convinced otherwise. (I also think it's total bullshit and she doesn't prescribe it for other reasons.)

I also can't take seroquel because it makes me sleepwalk and do risky things. I'm aware there's virtually no other medicines out there for sleep...I'm not taking anything like Lunesta.

I take an abillify injection once a month in case you were wondering, and my main diagnoses is Bipolar w/psychotic features.

Any advice on what I can say to my shrink on monday?

That's a good question. Another one I really don't know the answer to! Maybe genetics. My mom didn't dress me up in high heels and dresses or anything like that, ha!

Funny because for a time I played it straight to blend in as my mom had made some homophobic comments as a child and I was afraid to be open, and in college I was actually horny enough to bang a few girls (though not all) even though I knew I was really only attracted to guys. If my girlfriends hadn't been on birth control I might have ended up with a kid.

Thank her for letting you know about the risks associated with the drug, but as the patient you think the benefits outweigh the risks right now and the benefits to your sleep outweigh the downstream risks of dementia at this point in your life. Remind her you use it sparingly anyway which should reduce the risks. I wish you well. I have been diagnosed with bipolar and schizoaffective and schizo by three different prescribers. Sometimes only you know what's best for your body. Ever consider melatonin? Latuda has helped me. I sleep like a baby most of the time, almost excessively. I have not had insomnia in many many years.

Melatonin is great and can get me into alpha-phase, and works well when I don't have insomnia, but unfortunately what I have right now is full blown.

Thank you so much for the free counseling. I will be using your words and will report back.

Do u n ur bf call each other **** slurs?
For example when greeting each other u say like 'sup faggit' or something like 'yo fairy wyd?'

No the gay community has not co-opted that word as widely in the way that the black community has done with the n word. I would be very interested in the reason why one was and the other wasn’t. Also I don’t have a bf in case anyone is looking for one.

But my friend says some gays throw the f word around around sometimes.

hi mr trunk. nice to see you flourishing.

how long since your first diagnosis? what symptom was the final straw that caused you to seek help?

nice insertion of "wandering mind." seems apt.

Hi,

I had some paranoia and extreme fear and depression on and off, some mania, from college years on. Final straw was a psychotic episode when I had a delusion that everyone around me was trying to kill me and I had to be hospitalized.

I was diagnosed around 9 years ago.

My uncle was diagnosed schizophrenic and his symptoms included paranoia and delusions. He’s stable with a productive career thanks to meds but his family monitors him closely to make sure he takes them. Some of his stories are rather outlandish and it makes me wonder if it’s a manifestation of his mental illness or he just likes to lie. For instance he told a story where he was at Home Depot and 3 men were following him because he had an American flag on his shoe (brand logo) but he managed to evade them all thanks to his sharp former marines skills and he was about to corner and call ICE on them until he saw a woman with a young child who he knew belongs to one of the men so he spared them. Another story was of him leaving $100 on a $20 check at a diner because the waitress looked like she was having a bad day and he read into her soul that her mother is terminally ill. He is the cheapest mofo ever (he rarely gave gifts for the kids in his family and if he did they from the dollar store) so I find it hard to believe but every story he has told is of him being a generous, virtuous, and amazingly skilled hero while everyone else is jealous and out to get him. He also claims he could’ve made millions in his business but chooses to undercharge to provide a service to the community but he is always scheming on how to hurt his competitors and get ahead.

As a schizophrenic, what do you think? Do meds not work 100% on schizophrenics so they remain delusional or is my uncle also a pathological liar which meds cannot fix?

I am also very frugal but I am not a habitual liar. I contribute to various charities I am passionate about (LGBTQ youth suicide prevention, mental health law protections, etc.). I believe your uncle when he says many of those things, the part about undercharging rings true. I could have stayed pro full time and continued to have made hundreds of thousand of dollars a year, but instead I chose a more fulfilling job for now for much less money that actually helps people.

People who have experienced delusions may also have experienced unique things that sound delusional. My life story is an example. Separating fact from fiction sometimes can be hard. Having a delusion about everyone wanting to kill you sounds pretty whacky in itself, right? But that happened to me. I heard people from my AA meetings on the roof and I grabbed an aluminum baseball bat to defend myself. I am sure my parents were terrorized a la The Shining. God bless them for not calling the police, I could have been shot and killed very easily. (And I soon dropped the bat anyway.)

He may just have memories of his delusions that he believes were reality. Meds don’t fix a faulty memory. They just stop you from having new delusions. (And they help me sleep like a baby.)

A lot of genius physicists probably sound delusional when they talk about how we are all living in a simulation on the edge of a black hole and this is not reality. I had a case where the patient said something similar. The judge held him in the hospital.

I heard a voice saying I am a phophet. got offered a good life by this voice. phophecy aint for sale. then had a visual vision like a movie. not once but twice. in emergency with the light pointed at the ceiling after I stared into the light and the gay nurse told me to turn the light at the ceiling and look into the light on the ceiling so my eyes dont get damaged. full vision movie related to gangsters and all the dreams i have.
still have dreams about the same stuff months after and before this episode.

got shown another vision after i said my sins to security and another vision but this time in the light on the ceiling. me and people i know. one secruity guard said i liked the big secruity guard meaning im gay for him.

later had a voice telling me if i go to a place they will find me and kill me because i didn't beat up small secruity guard. told me to go back where im from and play poker and they will come visit me. but they said i got to be a stupid idiot poofter.

later had voices telling to go sell drugs etc and 4 locations one overseas.

abilify didn't work at all and i was a mess. on good meds now though. still have the gangster dreams and i dont wanna go into great detail about it on a online fourm just in case this **** is real and people are after me. Maybe i do wanna find out though.

this is a very brief and im not going into great detail about it. even the doctor asked what i was seeing while i was making noises loudly while looking into the ceiling and i didn't say a word.

i doubt anyone from that hospital would read this unless i went to las vegas and won the wsop, posted it in goals and brags fourm and im front page news in my country but ya never know. maybe thats what i need to do go to vegas and win the main event. that is related with dreams at night also and the gangsters who I know are serious about their lifestyles and not all talk.

GTO WIZARDS

That's interesting. My only paranoia when in hosptial was taking meds. Last visit i took every med they gave me mutiple sleeping tablets or prns and called me a psychopath the night nurses did. i left my door open wide while a scary person walked around the wards. i ended up no been scared any more.

had secruity called on me mutiple times but they just were a presence because i was walking around making noises in the open ward. realised im no threat and left after awhile.

its interesting when you don't take a wank for awhile at how strong ya get. 800 pushups in one day in the cell. i don't believe science but i believe ancient teachings on this that we shouldn't ejuculate or only do it to procreate. if your going to ejuculate do it up the spine over the head. i got instructed in a dream to do that as well.

im learning martial arts and alot heavier now. this non wanking or sex helps. if ya gay bi trans or whatever just either get married to a chick if you wanna have kids only have sex for procreation and use all that sex drive for other endeavours. just like phil hellmeth won the main even he turned down a hot ass broad on the way to the 1989 world series main event victory. no fap or whatever they call it worked for phil.

women can have sex as much as they want and still function well. doesn't effect them like it does men. most women are rubbish though like 99% of them for each man. theres a dime of a woman out there for each man but not many and ya should marry her.

it was common thought that masturbation did cause schizophenia back in the early 1900s. its not good for ya at all neither is banging loads of people gay or straight.

Are you disrespecting these people at all when you interacted with them? I notice you rub some people the wrong way at poker games from your posts.

But the truth with my uncle was he had to charge less because he was getting undercut by an influx of competitors that he tried to put out of business by spreading rumors and posting fake negative reviews online. It’s not because he was trying to help his customers out because he was always looking for ways to milk his customers for more. I just don’t buy it. There was always so much discrepancy between what he did and who he claimed to be.

I thought you quit poker because you stopped running good. You still think you can clear several hundred thousand every year as a full time poker pro? Would you coach some of your mental health clients to crush poker? I’ve seen stories of ex-felons who up turned their lives around with poker such as this one:

https://www.pokertube.com/article/amp/ex-felon-learns-poker-in-prison

PokerTube

Ex-Felon Learns Poker in Prison

You and my uncle do sound very much like. He is an interesting man and he wishes to publish an autobiography one day. I will send you a copy if it happens.

How can you represent people with mental health disorders if you have them too?

Mental health issues are manageable due to medication and good life hygiene (sleep diet exercise good relationships reducing stress etc.) and I have been asymptomatic for years now thanks to my meds and good habits. Also having been in my clients’ shoes actually gives me unique insight and experience that is helpful to representing their interests zealously and is in part why I got the job. I didn’t shy away from my lived experience in my interviews and it actually helped me get the offer.

When you had symptoms, what were they? What caused you to be diagnosed?