AMA about narcissism.

Why are you qualified?

Can narcissists love another person without conditions?

I am qualified to talk to you about narcissism on an authority stand point because I will give you the cutting edge information about it.

My entire family is made of narcissists. I have been narcissistic. I have been powerlessly codependent, which is covertly narcissistic.

I am absolutely sure that I could not have understood without the help from professionals. I have been studying narcissism for the longest of times. Really, I was obsessively gathering information from everywhere and anyone that talked about it.

It has been a series of masters and epiphanies, along with cross-referencing with my own experiences. Lately in the last few years, I found it necessary to cut off professionals. As of today, if I listen to most so-called narcissism professionals and even Harvard teachers talking about it, they sound really ****ing dumb to me and inaccurate. I am one of your best bet to easily find the truth.

No, a narcissist cannot love you unconditionally.

A narcissist is incapable of love, intimacy, and reciprocation.

Do not allow yourself to be fooled, narcissists understands the value, need and greatness of love, and the general consensus of the human world where love is praised, so it is very easy for them to say the words ''I love you'', but it is just that, words. They can also engage in acts that may look like love.

However, over extended periods of time, a narcissist will be unable to keep the facade. You will begin to see the cracks. Sooner or later, you will see behaviors that makes you think ''if he really loved me, he would never do that, so why did he?''

They are three reasons why a narcissist cannot love you.

1- Of self-worth. Narcissists have little to no self-worth. To some degree, you need self worth to love. Here is a narcissist thought brought in raw form.

''I am ****. There is no value in ****. Why would someone love ****? There's no way he loves me, nobody loves ****.''

Feeling so unloved, in a worldview where there is no love, no warmth, and no acceptance; it will be extremely difficult for them to come anywhere close to loving you.

A narcissist will ''love'' you, the same way you love milk. Milk taste and feel good, I love milk. Oh **** I spilled milk on the floor, oh well its no big deal it's just milk, I can buy another bottle of milk.

2- It's never enough. Narcissist have the belief that nothing is ever good enough for them, so they will be unable to be satisfied of the love they receive as a result of you.

3- Of trust. Narcissists do not trust anyone. They do not trust adults. They were unable to attach to caregivers that hated them and did not love them, and now they do not attach to adults.

Trust is fundamental to healthy relationships.

In an unloving world, where they cannot get their needs met freely from others, they become manipulative. Deception is one of the hallmark of narcissism.

In essence, they are born in a shark tank. The name of the game is : everybody is out for themselves. The actual -genius- move -is- to become narcissistic. By becoming manipulative, you can now seek to understand and feel what your parents and siblings wants desire and value, and manipulate that in order to get your own needs met. The child's life is going to be cursed with unmet needs. Even if they succeed a manipulating a few needs of theirs and staying alive, they will still be cursed because their needs for significance, connection, understanding, being seen, being loved; is not going to be met.

It will also be hard to see for the child, because it is not something that is done, it is something that is not done. You don't really need to do anything to not love someone.

The smartest, strongest and most sensitive child is going to be the first one to see the cracks. To some degree, they will understand that they did not want kids and they do not love kids, and that their behaviors are inconsistent with a parent that supposedly love them.

The child that sees is going to reflect that to the parents, at which point the self-centered parent lacking awareness and self-evaluation, and that certainly needs to see itself as a good parent, will say : ''I am not bad, you're bad, and now you're my problem and the problem of everybody else in the household.'' It is at this point that the sensitive child becomes the scapegoat and all the shame and hate they feel will be deflected unto that particular kid.

After that, the parents and siblings becomes antagonistic towards the child. In order to Survive, the child will disown aspects of himself that makes him ''bad'', and he will begin to hate itself.

Self-hate is a genius strategy to survive antagonistic people. To understand how self-hate works, imagine that you really hate someone, and you go to them planning to beat them up. You walk towards them, and as you come closer, the person you hate starts to beat himself up. You will feel either of two ways, you will either feel validated ''ah I was gonna beat you up but you're doing it to yourself, good for you, I was gonna do it to you anyway''; or you will feel, ''Oh my god there is something so obviously wrong with this person, I should help them''. Either ways, your antagonistic tendencies are going to drain away from your embodiment. Self-hate is going to help the kid in the short term, however it is pretty obvious why later in life self-hate is going to completely ruin their lives.

WHEN A CHILD DOES NOT FEEL LOVE FROM ITS PARENT, ITS NOT GONNA THINK MY PARENTS ARE BROKEN AND ITS NOTHING PERSONAL, ITS GONNA GO TO THE MOST OBVIOUS TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

THEY DONT LOVE ME =- THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT ME. =- IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT ME, THAT MEANS THAT I AM BAD. =- MY PARENTS ARE BIGGER THAN ME, SMARTER THAN ME, AND I NEED THEM TO BE FED, CLOTHED, LOVED AND SHELTERED, SO IN THE NAME OF SURVIVAL AND MY NEED FOR THEIR LOVE I WILL DEFER TO THEIR JUDGEMENT. =- IF THEY DONT LOVE ME, THEN IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING, THERE IS NOTHING TO LOVE THERE.

It's deeply sad.

Shame is the bedrock of narcissism. Shame is ''I am bad'', in contrast to guilt, which is ''I did something that's bad''. Shame is healthy for humans, shame is a good thing. Shame is a function of the conscience, it is there to keep you in check because it is a whole lot less painful to policed by yourself than to be policed by others.

However, chronic shame is an entire other monster. If the Truth of you is bad, inadequate and unacceptable, then you will forever stay in a state of shame.

Are narcissists good in bed?

Mmmhm they're pretty ****ing good, if you don't know any better.

If you taste the liveliness and connexion of true lovers, they will feel a bit cold, a bit mecanical, a bit lying for no reason, a bit careless, difficult to please.

It will also be an ego mania, so when you drop the act, anything you say will be used against you, especially something you say from a place of vulnerability.

Their lives are nothing but a conquest of worth, esteem, energy and goodness. Thats what we label narcisstic supply. Having sex with a hot guy hot girl is a form of taking esteem and worth from you, after all if they **** a hottie, it kind of imply they are worthy of love.

But real worthy people dont spend their time chasing worth and esteem.

As for goodness, good people are accountable for their own behaviors. Narcissists will not. So paradoxically speaking, the true good guy, is the guy that is willing to be seen as bad and see itself as having done something that's bad, and then correct their course. Mistakes are a major part of learning.

So yeah they ****ing suck in bed, but if you dont know any better, well sex as a basis is a pretty amazing and pleasant experience, and since people will usually burn out around them, it would be of no surprise that they ****ed a whole lot of people, so they can have the skill part of sex down right, but there's gonna be 'something missing'.

Also someone connected to you will naturally do what you like and be happy about it. Im entering a bit into the mystic realm but, when someone is connected to you they will do much less 'mistakes' so to speak. Also a lover will laugh at mistakes or be welcoming and warm about it, a narcissist it will be a reason to leave and end and blame.

Thank you for the question.

I just like pain

Are there degrees of narcissism? Can someone have some narcissistic traits but not be a true narcissists? Are you mainly speaking of folks who are true narcissists?

charlie sheen while doing 7 gram rocks?

True narcissists are energy vampires.

What are your motives for these questions?

Yeah I am speaking about narcissists. Most normal people tend to lean towards narcissism when their safety or belonging is being compromised.

There is a lot of people that swat away narcissists . Usually narcissists preys on kindhearted, sincere, forgiving individuals. If you were perfectly healthy and raised in a loving home... you would smell something's off. Also you would run for the hills after being hurt, or being met with inconsistent displays of loving behaviors.

Someone who was raised with consistency would freak the **** out by being near someone that displays inconsistency.. because they know at some degree that it is not love, and more importantly, they know what's on the other side. They feel that the sense of security consistency brings, is so much more valuable than whatever the narcissists has to offer.

Yes its a sliding scale.

And we are all to some degree energy vampires.

Fear is what unite them all. The less fearful thoughts you have, the less narcissistic you will be.

Yeah, so is Kassouf Negreanu Polk and Airball

Is my boss a narcissist?

He is the least educated person on the team and often misuses terminology, leading to conclusions that are frequently wrong. When you confront him with this, it quickly turns into an aggressive debate, like arguing about a basketball game at a bar. He behaves as if he is the smartest person in the room, emphasizing “street smarts” over formal education, and invests a lot of energy into promoting his own pet projects while downplaying the achievements of others.

He is a dropout student, son of a failed entreprenour, his brother is an alcoholic.

I used to imagine narcissists as well-dressed and polished, but his clothing style seems almost deliberately resistant. At the same time, he tries to stand out, for example, he is the only person in the office who wears slippers. He has built a circle of admirers around him that feels almost cult-like. Those who challenge him or speak honestly are excluded from decision-making and, in various ways, sidelined or undermined.

There also seems to be a constant fear that if his superiors change, someone might replace him, so he carefully elevates those close to him and suppresses those who don’t support him.

If I am dealing with a narcissistic boss, how should I work with him in a way that minimizes stress for me? I’ve noticed that when we start chit chat before the meetings by expressing enthusiasm for something he has done, he tends to become absorbed in self-admiration and the meeting then proceeds smoothly. I’m realistic and know there will be no real career progress under this boss, so my goal is simply survival. I still have a few years until I reach my FIRE goal and don’t intend to make any major career moves until then.