How to deal with player who harasses you
Hi all,
There is a reg who runs a semi-private bigger plo game in my room that harasses me a lot of the time we are playing the same game. We got off on the wrong foot over a year ago (I simply said he was too good and I didn't want to play with him lol, then he started trying to kill my action saying things like "you always have the nuts when you bet"), I extended an olive branch/truce and a handshake but then he kept up the disparaging remarks. He will say things like "that guy's a **** idiot" and has told me to stfu, invades my personal space when we are sitting next to each other, slowrolls (once he slowrolled me and I said I hated him and he was an ahole), intentionally steps on my foot under the table, says thing like "big hand alert" when I limp utg, "no one wants to play with you," etc. He's basically an jerk towards me and singles me out for harassment and is clearly not a fan and does not want me in any game he is in.
Nothing else seemed to work so I called the floor on him twice for the abusive language and trying to influence the action when I am in a hand and he'll get a warning, but after the first warning, last night he did it again, using abusive language. I really don't know what else to do at this point and it can be stressful to deal with him every time we're at the same table. He makes my poker experience very unpleasant and I don't deserve that treatment. It does not help that he runs a bigger game (to which I of course never get an invite) that he poaches action players from our player pool to play in. By pure coincidence (or not), he cannot seem to beat me in a hand. To give you an idea of the type of guy he is, he carries a leather Ferragamo man clutch to keep his chips in.
I'm just looking for some advice on how to deal with this dude. Any similar situations? I've tied ignoring him, getting the floor involved, talking back, shaking hands. Nothing seems to work.
Thanks,
DT
19 Replies
Another update:
After some time without much from him, other than a slowroll here and there, the other night we were at the same big plo game and I made an off the cuff remark to another rec player about not folding pairs in the game (he had just won a pot and his opponents folded bottom pair, a trivial fold, and would have turned trips). This same pro went off on me, shouting “stfu!” repeatedly to my face. He dared me to call the door on him. I declined. By chance, he was losing on the session. I told him to relax, then he said no one likes to play with me and I don’t play any hands. He said make a bet with me that no one likes playing with you. I declined and I said that wasn’t true and people did like me and he just doesn’t like playing with me and he was a pitiful person.
I feel at this point nothing has worked and I need to escalate things but I don’t know how.
If it has been months since the previous incident that doesn't sound so bad. Maybe he had a bad night. I wouldn't pursue anything roast unless it happens again soon.
The dealer let this go?
Just smile at him and say "Nah, I don't need the floor, I know you're having a bad day. Poker can be a tough game sometimes, it's not for everyone".
Be the bigger person, just let him self destruct.
Dumbo,
Sorry you are having to put up with this MF...
Playbig2000 gave some excellent advice !
Hang tuff and try not to let this SOB get in your head.
He dared me to call the door on him. I declined. By chance, he was losing on the session. I told him to relax
I want to qualify this by saying that I genuinely mean this to be helpful. I do. I know social interactions are not your strongest suit so I want this to help.
That said...
If someone is angry, yelling, or otherwise clearly tilted, telling them to relax does not work. In fact it is probably the worst thing that could be said to them. Unless you point is to tilt them more.
As a big alpha male I would ask him to step out side. But guys my size don't gets fuked with
As an aside, it has been my experience that no one who was ever really confident in themselves EVER referred to themselves as an 'Alpha male'. I can only assume that the above post was sarcasm
Do you know what he drives?
Another update:
After some time without much from him, other than a slowroll here and there, the other night we were at the same big plo game and I made an off the cuff remark to another rec player about not folding pairs in the game (he had just won a pot and his opponents folded bottom pair, a trivial fold, and would have turned trips). This same pro went off on me, shouting “stfu!” repeatedly to my face. He dared me to call the door on him. I declined. By chance, he was losing on the session.
wow!
telling someone who is upset to relax didn't work, I'm shocked as it always works with my wife 100% of the time
You are not going to agree with or like what I write. Based on what you have written here, if V was writing instead of you I bet we would hear much the same kind of stories. I am not saying his and your fault are 50:50. From all of your post I have read and recall, not just thus one thread, I believe your share of the fault is not minimal. Maybe not equal but significant.
You are not going to agree with or like what I write. Based on what you have written here, if V was writing instead of you I bet we would hear much the same kind of stories. I am not saying his and your fault are 50:50. From all of your post I have read and recall, not just thus one thread, I believe your share of the fault is not minimal. Maybe not equal but significant.
Absolutely not. I don't curse him out like he has me, assault him, call him a fkn idiot, try to kill his action, etc. No comparison whatsoever.
Btw, someone he knows well confirmed he has anger issues the other day after I asked him to intervene and talk some sense into him.
Talked to his poker friend, asked him to talk some sense into him, he did and we shook hands and made up (again) last night. Hopefully the end of things....
Good luck
--klez
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, someone will just take a disliking to you. My advice is to learn how to just ignore this person and not let it get to you. I know that isn't easy, but he may be doing it precisely because he knows it gets to you and might take you off of your game. Don't give the jerk that pleasure. 😀
