Dealing with Verbal Bully

Ask for the poker manager's email and send him a note. If that doesn't work, ask for his boss' email and send him a note. It seems like trying to reason with the villain is a waste of energy,

I couldn't imagine continuing to play in such a shitty poker room where the dealers and floor people allow players like this to remain at the table.

I would use a combo of both above posts, find someone with influence in the room and see if they can do something about it and if it doesn't work then I'm off and not going back. Wouldn't be happy to have to leave because of a knobhead but it isn't worth tolerating them either.

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This player is verbally (and arguably physically) abusive, actively colludes, and has been warned by the floor multiple times for his behavior, and of course it continues and will continue. It's affecting me mentally as I am the biggest target of his abuse.[/QUOTE]

Ask about filing a written complaint

It's the closest room to me and is still about 2 hours away. I'm reconsidering my lifestyle. The dealers are mostly immigrants and often have a deer in the headlights look on their face. The floor is mostly useless and changes their rules depending on the day. It takes a lot to get kicked out but it does happen. It usually involves physically striking someone or throwing things at the dealer.

If it's just one person that's causing you a problem, I think that these bullies usually go for easier targets.

Depending on how high or low your social capital is, your social status, the more or less of an easy target you might appear to be.

There are a few ways you might be able to tackle this situation
1. written complaints
2. fight fire with fire - Engage him
3. Ask your friends to help you out if you have any.
4. Use your persuasion and social skills to affect the social dynamics
5. Laugh it off. Ignore it.
6. Make light of it. Use it as motivation to improve your game.
7. Be present and mindful.
8. Have a written plan if needed
9. Have compassion for this guy. try not be overly judgmental about this or take it personally.

10. Ask a few of the floor people, what would they recommend that you do? Ask them, should I just ignore this guy?

If the floor won't do anything, I'd just start needling him back and tilt the heck out of him. Ask him if he has a crush on you and that's why he teases you so much. Stuff like that. Maybe you can get him in your face and force the floor to do something. Seriously.

The other option is to just ignore him. I mean, act as if he isn't there at all -- even in a hand against him. If he bets, look at the dealer and ask if there is a bet, etc. Never look at him. Never reply or react to him. That will really get under his skin -- maybe enough to shut him up.

You can't let this guy affect your life. You enjoy playing poker, keep enjoying it. He's not there.

I had a very similar situation about 17 years ago in a casino that was 2 hours away from me (it was one of the closest casinos to me). The "bully" wasn't an overweight guy but if I remember correctly was taller and younger than me.

I actually caused the problem to begin with. What I did happened one of the first times I was playing in the 20/40 LHE game and the first time I had seen the guy. He was standing behind me and talking with another guy who I had seen every day I had been at the casino for the past year (playing 10/20 LHE). They couldn't figure out what singing group was responsible for a song. I turned towards them and said "Its the Mamas and the Papas" which was correct. But then I said this: "Not that my Papa slept with your Mama". Which the other guy and the entire table started laughing about... For the next 6 hours in that game the Bully went after me. Trying to humiliate me and make me feel stupid. Since I am not stupid it was a challenge. I tried to joke about the things he was saying and the other eight players seemed to enjoy the situation.

He continued to bully me for the next 6 years every time we played together and I played in the game about 30 weekends a year.

One time a few months after the bullying started another regular/professional came up to me and said that he couldn't stand the bully. He also said that every time he approached the casino he would throw up because that is how sick it was making him feel. He ended up not playing in the casino anymore.

I decided to keep playing in the game even though the bully was going after me. The reason was that it was the best 20/40 LHE game in the country and I was making almost $30/hr. I also really liked the other players. Even his friends were neutral. It's not that it was easy to ignore him because it wasn't. It was because other than him I loved the game. And I realized pretty quickly that it didn't matter. I was just going to ignore what he was saying. The funny thing was that he kept calling me an idiot. When I would make a mistake he would point it out to everyone. So I liked that some of the other players thought I was bad/dumb. And in fairness to reality I did start saying some fairly stupid things (on purpose).

One time a different guy called me an idiot. And I thanked him. He then said "if anyone else wants to call him an idiot you can if you give him $10". I said "well actually just $5 will do". And a few other players called me an idiot (I didn't take the money). Then I thanked him and asked him if I could take him to dinner. He said "No!" and then stopped talking to me. About 15 years later we met at a 2/5 NL table at the same casino and he said hi to me and I said hi back. About 20 minutes later I said "you remember you thought I was an idiot?" and he said "you still are an idiot!" and we both laughed and got along for the next few hours.

A few years later the bully came to the table fairly drunk I was playing at and pointed to a player and said "I like you". Then pointed to the next player and said "I like you". He did that a few more times and then pointed to the player next to me and said "I don't like you". He then pointed at me and said "I hate you". Lol. He did like the next 5 players at the table...

Ultimately I loved the game in spite of the bully. Every time I beat the bully in a hand that was a bad beat for him he would explain to the table why my play was so bad. This was actually really good for me. I learned about ranges. I learned about reasons to bluff. I learned about a ton of things. In fact I learned more from him about LHE than I had learned from anyone else. Because aside from being a bully he was an incredibly amazing player. So there are silver linings on cloudy days...

Here is another thing that happened that gave me some perspective. About 5 years in to our imbroglio another guy at the table tried to bully me. Repeatedly. After about half an hour my original bully turned to the new bully and said "its not going to work. He can take anything and be fine." Which was true. I grew up in an alcoholic home and my father (the alcoholic) would be brutally verbally abusive. At a young age I learned how to remove myself from my body and hover above the physical scene in order to not experience the terror, hatred, and verbal abuse. And yes while this gave me some emotional issues (like not being able to tell what I was feeling about anything ever) it also gave me the skillset to not be affected by bullies.

At the end of our time together the bully and I while not friends were not enemies either. There was one incident which involved me that he ended up saying "I'm impressed that you were able to handle that so well".

The bully stopped playing at the casino because he took a full time job in the outside world. It was a financial gambling job if i remember correctly. And I'm guessing he made a fortune because he was very very smart.

In the end what I learned was to focus on the game and the people I liked to talk to. I only engaged with the bully if it would be funny so that the entire table could enjoy it. I also thanked him for his insults on occasion because that would leave some of the regulars at the table not really getting just how good I was at poker. Or on occasions where I had made a mistake it would be to subtly thank him for helping me (which would make him even angrier in the moment). There were some that would shake their heads just to let me know they knew me. And there were others who would plead with the bully to stop helping me get better.

It comes up again from time to time but since I mostly play in tournaments now it won't last more than part of a day. There have been times where I just have to put on poker glasses and turn away from that side of the table in order to endure the jerk.

Damn, these are both disturbing and hilarious! My strategy has always been to fire back and maniacs like this and it usually work, but of course not always. His verbal bullying sounds pretty lame, so if you're even the slightest bit witty, maybe engage him with some jokes that most reasonable players would find amusing, but not overly offensive. Then beat him. Beat him bad in hands. Let him know his bankroll ain't ****.

I guess at some point, if he actually makes threats, just entertain them and step outside. Have a taser and light his dumbass up a few times.

I pretty much always play my: a game against people who are dicks at the poker table, or even if they are at the table and I'm not in a hand against them, I'll play my best game.

If people are too nice, I'm much more likely to spew off chips.

Complain to the managers and wear headphones in the meantime

ear plugs

If you’re good and he’s not this is by far the best revenge. You don’t need to say anything, the chips will do all the talking. He can’t sun run against you long term.