Weirdest/Funniest thing youve had happen in a cardroom?

I've always found the spit-take to be a pretty reliable tell.

May just be funny to me but sharing .

NL game, heads up on the turn of a 9977 board. Players are seat 2 & 5. Seat 2 has been playing really loose and taking down a lot of pots. Seat 5 is pretty drunk but not slowing down the game, enjoying beers with his friend in seat 6. I'm in seat 4.

Seat 2 puts out a big bet and drunk seat 5 starts talking to himself.

"I know I got him this time. Can't let him bluff me again..." This stream on ranting continues on like this for a solid minute.

Drunk seat 5 lifts up his cards a little so his friend in seat 6 can see them. Seat 6 goes from laughing and having a good time to pale white and speechless when he sees drunk seat 5 cards.

Now I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I couldn't help it after seat 6's reaction so I tilt my head over I can see drunk seat 5's cards. His "I know I got the best hand" rant is still going on. He has 22 on the 9977 board.

1 more minute on his rant and someone calls time. Drunk seat 5 finally folds and seat 6 stands up and loudly says,"Ok we're done. You're playing the board you moron. Let's get outta here."

Drunk seat 5 asks the dealer to see the river. Dealer deals two off the deck and uses it scoop up the pile of cards. Points to the bottom of the deck and says that's the river. It's a 2.

Drunk seat 5 erupts "I f***ing knew I had him.........wait, why are we leaving?"

Last night I am playing $2/$5 in my local room. Really good game with lots of action. Dream game. Part way through the session there is a horrible smell. Someone had some serious gastrointestinal distress. No one says anything, but it is clear everyone smelled it. It was brutal but everyone was too polite to say anything.

A few minutes later, the same thing. A horrible smell. It wasn't just a fart, it was something mixed up by the devil and released on mankind. It just didn't smell bad, it was the type to bring tears to the eyes type of smell. Brutal.

It happens again a couple of times. Finally one player doesn't admit to it ( if fact strongly denies it is him) but states that he is feeling unwell. He is in obvious distress. He is sweating bullets and grimacing. He continues to play.

He gets involved in a hand. On either the flop or turn he gets it all in. His oppenent is thinking for a bit and it is quiet.

All of a sudden the all in player's bowels let loose. Everyone at the table smells it, hears it, and if they were even paying half attention to reality saw him react.

It was a loud fart followed by the worst smell on the world. Baby poop mixed with toxic chemicals. He also started to panic. It was clear he pooped his pants. Badly. He sat there for a few seconds panicking. He didn't know what to do. He just went all in for a decent amount of money, but he also just **** his pants.

Everyone was sort of giggling while trying to hide it. It was 5th grade level funny, but everyone felt sorry for the guy. Eventually the 5th grade humor won out and the whole table started laughing loudly. The floor person heard the noise and came over. He immediately smelled the death smell. It is overpowering.

The player explains that he has to go to the washroom, but he is all in. The floor quickly figures out what is going on. (The stench tipped him off). He tells the player he can go to the bathroom if he wants and his hand will still be live. He will not be penalized for leaving the table with a live hand. The player waddles away, walking like someone would with a load in their pants.

His opponent sits there and laughs and finally realizes that action is on him. He looks at everything, laughing the whole time. After a long pause he confirms that the other players hand is live. The floor states that it is a live hand despite the player not being at the table.

Opponent laughs some more and folds.

Player who literally **** his pants wins the pot despite not being at the table.

It was the best invocation of rule one that I have seen.

Needless to say, a little bit later the shift manager came over and racked up his chips of the missing player. Evidently he called the poker room and said he would not be back.

Unbelievable.

9 people will be telling that story for the rest of their lives. 1 person will start telling that story in about a year.

haha man that is a great story

Very funny. Wouldn't read again.

so true

I managed to call clock twice in the same hand, against two different players, and I was not in the hand.

This is a 1/2 game and because of these two jackasses we are getting about 12 hands per hour. But they are terrible so I'm biting my tongue until this hand.

OTTH. Jackass#1 tanks for about 3 minutes facing a $25 flop bet and an existing pot of $30. He has less than $120 behind. I call clock he mucks.

Jackass#2 same hand calls the flop bet. Turn checks through. Then after river dealt Jackass #2 tanks for about a minute and a half first to act. The pot is $80 and Jackass #2 has about $80 behind.

I call clock on him too.

the worst people to play in the world are those who tank fold preflop - they were always going to fold, they just never want it to look like they could ever have bad cards or something

just so stupid

This is more weird than funny, but close enough.

Anyway, if anyone has ever played low limit PLO tournaments on WSOP.com, they run a few daily tournaments that cost $3 or $5 to enter. They are small tournaments where they play is terrible. There is one player who plays in these tournaments who literally does not give an eff. He is obviously a decent player, but since he is playing $3 or $5 be doesn't care. Not all of the time, but often enough he will just say eff it. He will raise, reraise, get it all in preflop every single hand while the rebuy period is still open. Literally. His goal is to build a large stack, regardless of the odds.

Obviously he loses a lot. There are times where I am convinced his buy ins comprise 1/2 the prize pool.

It is amazing the affect that he has on the rest of the table. People start to follow him and get it in preflop regardless of their hand quality as well. It is not unheard of to have 2 or 3 other players shoving preflop with him. Every hand.

Obviously this is great for a player. Wonderful. But equally as obvious, it can come with huge variance. It is not uncommon for the top 5 chip stacks of the tournament to be at his table. He is possibly among them. So a player can find themselves in the 8th level of a tournament having a chip stack that is 10x the average stack but putting it all in preflop. Plus due to the fact that percentages are much closer preflop in PLO that variance really matters. It borders on ridiculousness.

Obviously having such a player at your table is a dream. An absolute dream. Just as obviously it can be a variance nightmare. Also, lots of players get frustrated playing with such a player. Many of them will get it in preflop as a favorite (as much as one can be a favorite in PLO), lose, and then get frustrated and leave.

For me, I love having this player at my table. I understand it comes with variance, but in the long run just having even a slight filter of folding bad hands will do better than playing any four every single hand. Now don't get me wrong, the player in question is actually not a terrible player when he cares. After the rebuy period ends he plays decently, even expertly. But eventually he gets bored and blows it off, but there is definitely skill hid behind a DGAF attitude.

So one night he is in full DGAF mode. It is literally every hand raise, reraise all in preflop. It is funny, he obviously recognizes my screen name, so I will occasionally limp in front of him (with a monster hoping tonm get it all in) and he will limp in response, but that night he doesn't care. He is blasting. There are two other players who he has influenced. They are doing the same. So three of the 6 players at our 6 max table are fully committed to getting it all in preflop every hand. If you look at the chip leader list of the tournament the top 5 is all at our table and the 6th player is whomever lost the most recent hand and would be well down the list. Player number 5 had like 5x the chips of player number 6 in the tournament list. It was insane.

It would deserve a complete thread in itself in proper strategy to play. Rarely does ICM matter in a tournament before rebuy closes, but in did in this case. If you are leading a PLO tournament with 15x + the average stack, do you get it all in preflop with the 2nd largest stack (13x) with 1 minute left in the rebuy period no matter how strong your hand is? I don't have a clue.

Anyway, the next day I am playing $1/$2 at the Aria. It is a pretty straightforward game. No real tricky players. Actually pretty boring.

I am in seat 1. Seat 3 starts quietly talking to his friend in seat 4 about the crazy PLO tournament he was in the previous night. After they are talking or a bit I quickly realize they are talking about the online PLO game I was in last night. So I quickly join the conversation. We are talking about the insanity. We talk about how the insane action throws all of the regular rules of thumb out the window. The three of us are all laughing at the insanity of the game and we are probably getting louder than we should.

At some point, seat 7 speaks up. He is like WTF!?!?! You all are all talking about me like I am not here. He self identifies as the player who DGAF and he half jokingly says we should not talk about him like he is not there. Everyone involved laughs and has a great time about it.

Kind of weird in a karma sense. I don't want to know the people I play online with.

We (me and the maniac) end up having a fairly meaningful conversation. We get to know each other more than probably either one of us wanted to.

It was just nuts that 3 of us from that online table were then at the same live table the next day.

I am very curious how friendliness affects our relationship online. Will he play the same against me? It was clear that he previously acknowledged my play and minorly adjusted his play in response, but it was also clear he just wanted the action and nuttiness regardless of the consequences.

As great as the story is, I can't help but think that if I heard the first two of you talking I would absolutely chime in and claim to be the maniac.

I thought the same exact thing when I read this.

There's a room in Florida that has a $60 rebuy NLO8 tournament. Yes, No limit O8. I played it for about 6 months. I used a slightly modified version of the DGAF strategy. I either folded pre or went AI with a 3 BI limit due to the terrible payout structure.

admittedly most people were folding to my AI because they came to play a tournament and wanted to get as much play time as they could out of their $60. So a lot of time I only got some blinds and limps.

But the strategy was having me cash 39% of the time and chop 33%. That wasn't quite as good as it sounds bc we often were chopping 3 - 5 ways but it was almost always a pure chop, not a stack weighted chop. IDK why people would give me an even payout when I was 10% of their stack, but it happened.

I doubt my strategy would have worked with a more sophisticated player pool, but my average total return was something like 4 - 5 BI. It wasn't big enough to hold my attention for long, but it was a fun experiment.

4 - 5 BI average return is pretty good, it's like a ROI of 400-500%.

Given he stated he would do up to 3 BI it is good but not the ROI you claim.

Yeah, I forgot about potential rebuys!
Still, an ROI north of 200% is still excellent, isn't it?

Dude right next to me had red aces 3 deals in a row the other night. It was in sudden death for 5K high hand, big pair on board all 3 times him needing ace on river. Nada. Third one seemed super weird. He went broke on them river beat him every time.

playing 1-3

at a newly started table so multiple seats open

some guy comes and sits on seat 2 - he's probably late 30s to early 40s

at the same time a very attractive 48 year old (it came up) half asian women in a cocktail dress shows up and sits in seat 7

they do not talk nor acknowledge each other

the half asian lady just goes on and on to the man next to her how single she is, how she's recently divorced and looking to date - this is all done in a very flirty manner - she's clearly flirting with him

he makes it very clear he's happily married

so then she keeps on trying to get his number anyway under the guise of "you gotta have some single friends you could introduce me to" - to which the guy makes it clear it's a non-starter because they live over an hour and a half away from each other and it's too long distance for his friends

meanwhile, guy in seat 3 is clearly tilting and his go to move is to just shove into the pot, pot is $25 and he shoves $230 into it etc - the few times he's called he has absolute air and he rebuys a few times

half asian lady leads out with a pot sized bet on the flop and he jams over it and they end up chopping - it's only at this point that we learn that this man is her ex husband, not just that, but she has cancer and they are living together again while he takes care of her

guy is silent the entire time

she then regularly mentions how the guy doesn't have any money, that all his money is her money

guy gets a beer, she doesn't feel like he tipped her well enough so calls over to the waitress to fix it all the while reprimanding the guy

the guy gets up and leaves the table and since he's the 3rd man walking he's going to lose his seat if not back by the time the button comes - she goes out to find out him - all the while insulting him and reprimanding him etc

she comes back to the table, he's not far behind, she tries to get us to boo him, to which none of us are interested

it's just the weirdest dynamic ever, she's actively flirting and putting herself out their and at every opportunity attempts to emasculate him, yet he's silently bearing it all because they drove there together and he's taking care of her as she has cancer

she is also talking about doing chemo - yet... she's on like her 4th glass of wine

and then, she blurts out that the reason they got the divorce was the guy slept with her 27 year old niece, who was the person he was on the phone with while away from the table

he busts for the like the 3rd time with air, he gets up and walks away, she quickly racks up and follows him, yelling at him for daring to leave without her

haha holy **** that is ridiculous

Was she hot?

“very attractive”

Holy ****, I was thinking "The cancer would lose the race to take her out" if it was me but I guess the punchline changes the context.

This is in the weird camp. Even now, I have been thinking about it for two days and don't know what to think.

I am dealing. I am following a really good dealer in the string. Not only is he is a good dealer, he is a good guy. Him and I click. We both like to laugh and are more than willing to make fun of ourselves as well as each other. So all day, each time I tap him out, one of us has a smart ass comment for the other. All in fun and all meant to make everyone else smile.

As I approach a $1/$3 cash game to tap him, he acknowledges me with a nod while I am still 50 feet away. I walk behind him and start looking over his shoulder at the rack. He is talking to 2 of the players. They are laughing with him. He finishes the hand. As he is cleaning up he says to the players that he is leaving and that I am his replacement. He says that I am a nice guy, but they better watch out for me because I need to take off my shoes to count over 10. Many people at the table laugh.

I am thinking that this is going to be a fun table. Great.

So I sit down, greet everyone, and start to deal. The very first hand is crazy.

Player A who is UTG raises to $15. One fold and then Player B who is UTG +2 re-raises to $40. A bunch of folds to the button where Player C re-raises to $100. Folds to Player A who calls. Player B thinks a second and calls.

All 3 players have $650 plus in front of them. It looks like a crazy action table. Fun.

Flop comes 3c 8c 9d.

Player A bets $100. Player B thinks a while. It is crystal clear that he is deciding between calling or raising. He just calls the $100. Player C immediately raises to $200. Player A tanks for a bit and ultimately folds. Player B calls right away.

The turn is the 2d.

Player B checks. Player C bets $150. Player B thinks a really long time and goes all in for ~$490ish total. Player C instantly calls. I deal the river.

The river is 10d.

Player B turns over Ks Kd. A pair of Kings.

Player C hesitates for a split second. Not long enough for a slow roll, but slightly longer than he should have, and turns over Qs Js for the rivered gutshot straight.

Player B laughs and genuinely offers congratulations on the hand. Player B has Player C covered. I count it out and Player B ends up having ~$100 left. I push everything to Player C. He throws me a redbird.

I think that this is going to be a great game.

Everyone at the table is laughing and smiling. Even Player B is laughing with Player A and is not bothered by the huge crazy loss. In fact, nobody at the table seems to acknowledge that Player C just won a hand by playing it horribly and getting insanely lucky. Normally I would expect half the table to sit in silence taking in the crazy play without trying to tap the glass.

Instead, everyone at the table is just acting like this is normal and not an insanely lucky play.

I begin to think that this is going to be an awesome table. Lots of silly, crazy action, everyone laughing, great tipping.

I start to deal the next hand. There is a raise with no callers. They scoop the blinds. Ok. Odd. Whatever. Next hand the same thing happens. Steal the blinds.

This happens the whole rest of my down. 90% of the hands just steal the blinds with a raise. The few hands that see a flop mostly end up fighting over pots that don't even reach $50. I had a hand where one player flopped a set and the other player flopped an open ended straight flush draw. The final pot pushed to the set was $40 something dollars.

The couple of hands that actually hit max rake are chopped.

Furthermore I try and talk to some of the players, but no one seems interested in talking. Everyone is looking at their phones. It is one of the tightest, quietest tables I have ever seen. Especially for $1/$3. I ended up walking away from the table with $8 in tips. I made $5 on the first hand and $3 the rest of the way.

Furthermore, Player C from the first hand absolutely tightened up. He never played another hand.

That first hand was so out of character from the action for the rest of the down. Even the players reactions to that hand were weird. No one acted like the first hand was a big deal, but it was 100% opposite from the rest of the hands.

I don't know what happened. It was like one of those movies where the lead character sees something that is incredible, but no one else sees it or cares.

The down was noteworthy for being one of the worst, most boring downs, I have ever dealt. Literally no action, none, just everyone folding. Except the first hand that was insane.

I still don't know what to make of it.

So half an hour? Maybe 10 or 15 hands?

So what? Small sample size either way.

More than that. When everyone is folding to a raise and there are rare flops and decent dealer gets out way more than that.

Also, you are ignoring the contrast with the first hand. The first hand was genuinely insane. No one plays like that and then suddenly shuts it down.