Weirdest/Funniest thing youve had happen in a cardroom?
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Weirdest/Funniest thing youve had happen in a cardroom?

D
AzazothOP
15yr ago

We B&M players get something the online players never get: the ability to see drunks do funny things. So, and don't feel like you necessarily have to recount the deeds of drunks, but what's the funniest thing youve ever seen happen in a cardroom?

Here's a recent favorite:

This was late June, 2009, the first time I took my new fiance to the Taj poker room. I was sitting and playing $1-2NLHE. We'd been chatting with the guy to my right, a young-ish Steel Pier worker who had gotten off and come straight to the poker table, ordered a few drinks, and begun playing. After an hour or so, and about 5 drinks, he decided it was time to hit the bathroom, which he announced to everyone. He stood up and, inexplicably, his shorts fell clean down around his ankles, exposing his... um... small blind. So, with the horse out of the stable, he stares in disbelief out into nothingness for a sec, then finally pulls 'em up. My fiance had been sitting behind me, so she was eye-level with his Johnson (and unimpressed, apparently), and suggested he pull up his pants. He did so, saying he should buy a belt, and walked off to the bathroom.

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20 August 2009 at 06:32 PM
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Azazoth
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JimL
7mo ago

Last night I am playing $2/$5 in my local room. Really good game with lots of action. Dream game. Part way through the session there is a horrible smell. Someone had some serious gastrointestinal distress. No one says anything, but it is clear everyone smelled it. It was brutal but everyone was too polite to say anything.

A few minutes later, the same thing. A horrible smell. It wasn't just a fart, it was something mixed up by the devil and released on mankind. It just didn't smell bad, it was the type to bring tears to the eyes type of smell. Brutal.

It happens again a couple of times. Finally one player doesn't admit to it ( if fact strongly denies it is him) but states that he is feeling unwell. He is in obvious distress. He is sweating bullets and grimacing. He continues to play.

He gets involved in a hand. On either the flop or turn he gets it all in. His oppenent is thinking for a bit and it is quiet.

All of a sudden the all in player's bowels let loose. Everyone at the table smells it, hears it, and if they were even paying half attention to reality saw him react.

It was a loud fart followed by the worst smell on the world. Baby poop mixed with toxic chemicals. He also started to panic. It was clear he pooped his pants. Badly. He sat there for a few seconds panicking. He didn't know what to do. He just went all in for a decent amount of money, but he also just **** his pants.

Everyone was sort of giggling while trying to hide it. It was 5th grade level funny, but everyone felt sorry for the guy. Eventually the 5th grade humor won out and the whole table started laughing loudly. The floor person heard the noise and came over. He immediately smelled the death smell. It is overpowering.

The player explains that he has to go to the washroom, but he is all in. The floor quickly figures out what is going on. (The stench tipped him off). He tells the player he can go to the bathroom if he wants and his hand will still be live. He will not be penalized for leaving the table with a live hand. The player waddles away, walking like someone would with a load in their pants.

His opponent sits there and laughs and finally realizes that action is on him. He looks at everything, laughing the whole time. After a long pause he confirms that the other players hand is live. The floor states that it is a live hand despite the player not being at the table.

Opponent laughs some more and folds.

Player who literally **** his pants wins the pot despite not being at the table.

It was the best invocation of rule one that I have seen.

Needless to say, a little bit later the shift manager came over and racked up his chips of the missing player. Evidently he called the poker room and said he would not be back.

MMMed13
7mo ago

May just be funny to me but sharing .

NL game, heads up on the turn of a 9977 board. Players are seat 2 & 5. Seat 2 has been playing really loose and taking down a lot of pots. Seat 5 is pretty drunk but not slowing down the game, enjoying beers with his friend in seat 6. I'm in seat 4.

Seat 2 puts out a big bet and drunk seat 5 starts talking to himself.

"I know I got him this time. Can't let him bluff me again..." This stream on ranting continues on like this for a solid minute.

Drunk seat 5 lifts up his cards a little so his friend in seat 6 can see them. Seat 6 goes from laughing and having a good time to pale white and speechless when he sees drunk seat 5 cards.

Now I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I couldn't help it after seat 6's reaction so I tilt my head over I can see drunk seat 5's cards. His "I know I got the best hand" rant is still going on. He has 22 on the 9977 board.

1 more minute on his rant and someone calls time. Drunk seat 5 finally folds and seat 6 stands up and loudly says,"Ok we're done. You're playing the board you moron. Let's get outta here."

Drunk seat 5 asks the dealer to see the river. Dealer deals two off the deck and uses it scoop up the pile of cards. Points to the bottom of the deck and says that's the river. It's a 2.

Drunk seat 5 erupts "I f***ing knew I had him.........wait, why are we leaving?"

AvatarDominic
21d ago

lol was playing 1/3 at Aria and had been sunrunning - had over $3500 in front of me. I had colored down this one dude a few times who sat down with purple and yellow chips, and I kept stacking him - $300 at a time. But then he goes on a run and now he's got about $1200 in front of him.

I have a gigantic stack in front of me - and had just came back from the bathroom. When I left the table, I had put the $1k yellow and $500 purple chip in front of my stack on some fives to protect it while I was gone.

Well, I get back, sit down, villain raises to $10 - I reach to the front of my stack to call with two red chips, but I inadvertently flip the two big chips out. I've just raised to $1500. I have two sixes in my hand. Whoops.

Villain - who had been calling all-ins all night with hands as bad a 22 and QT....laughs, and says, "not this time!" and folds, showing QQ.

I show, of course, and the table erupts.

Whew.

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