Dating advice as a poker player

Are you trying to find a partner or scam someone?

If the former, I recommend telling the truth.

I understand the situation perfectly, it's a fairly common challenge when you have a little-known or misunderstood profession like that of professional poker player. You could explain that you work in investment or professional betting without going into the details of poker or strategy consulting.

If you can't honestly explain it to someone, show them your win rate etc, then you either have a communication issue or they aren't smart enough to understand you, assuming you are winning player.

If you feel you must lie to someone about your job in order to be with them, then they are the wrong person. Maybe if you’re just looking to hook up, it’s fine. But if you’re looking for a meaningful and lasting relationship with someone, you can’t start it with a lie. Tell the truth. You don’t have to go into gory details, but explain what being a poker player entails (variable income, lots of hours at the tables, etc.) The person might not be able to accept this and you might have to move on to someone else, but there will be someone out there who can handle it. You just need to find that person and be honest and up front about your poker career. Otherwise your relationship will not last.

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Say some "real" job like say you're social media, copywriting, freelance journalist, etc.

Questions:

How old are you?

Where do you live?

Are you meeting girls online or IRL?

Are you looking for LTR or just casually dating?

As others have already said, the two keys are honesty from your end and rationality/understanding from your prospective partner's end. Many won't resonate with it all, but the right one will.

Specific to you, I did want to mention that you could bring up you being a coach to boost credibility or the understanding you might be trying to convey to them

One absolute truth about poker is people will always think you're some kind of crazy gambler. People see randomly dealt cards and casino chips and just assume money is being lost. They don't know anything about the game. Actually, in most cases, they're not even wrong because most players aren't winning at poker ... which makes it even harder to overcome the stigma. In theory, some of these people are pretty smart. A girl I dated who has a PhD in Chemical Engineering even had this opinion. Again, they just see the cards and chips and don't even care to learn anything about it. Most people who say they're playing professionally (at least whenever I hear someone say it on a live table) seem to be recs.

Even among those of us who ARE winning, it's a struggle to stay in the game because of life expenses unless you're killing it, and don't get nailed by variance. Short to medium-term variance is an absolute bitch to deal with mentally unless you have a massive bankroll and extra funds. Sometimes, it shakes my confidence even though I'm up massively over a long time period. I have been on a break since November, which started with losing about 20 BI. Working on obtaining a degree, but I will be back soon.

In total, I've played full-time off and on for at least 2 years in total, and as a profitable hobby for longer.

My advice for dating is to fly to SEA or a cheap country and have some fun. Even if you're not earning all that much it goes really far there.

Just be yourself be kind and do things that would attract a partner you'd want to be with. Don't worry so much about the title... Lie if you have to.... But don't use ******ed humour, you can be honest ... But make sure she knows the rules.

My last hookup saw it as a red flag.
If I was a winning player, which I am not at the moment I would just prove that I am a baller.

i mean we are assuming we are winning players, im not broke but im not balling either though.

Seriously dating someone as in looking for a long term partner or spouse - I think this could cause serious issues tbh.

Imagine explaining a downswing or variance that could last months to someone that does not play poker.

It could be helpful to build another source of income and lead with that as your profession at least at first.

Initially I would say something generic. Say you are self employed or something like that. If pressed maybe say investing or risk management.

None of those are lies, especially if that is the way you actually look at your play.

Eventually though you have to give details. The longer you go without doing so the harder it is.

It helps if you are honest with them about your finances. Don't overplay your big wins or hide your losses. When you win big explain that it covers up lots of future losses.

"No, I won't prioritize poker over you. You're not in the equation."

i play cash games, i rarely have losing months tbh with you.

Dating advice is a thing that remains pretty consistent throughout the world.

• 1. Be polite and have good intentions with your date
  
• 2. Be honest and upfront about yourself
  
• 3. Don’t be a loser
  

I hear so much grim table talk from people that would make me turn and run as a woman, from all types of person and age groups. I find it hilarious how these same people then cope by talking about how much more money they have because they don’t have a partner.

I find that in society, the idea of a poker professional is pretty well received. I have been to functions with professionals a lot, and people generally find the idea super intriguing.

The right person for you will likely be someone who is receptive to the idea immediately, and understanding of things. So long as you’re a reasonable person, and don’t prioritise poker over your dates, I wouldn’t expect poker to be too much of a roadblock in the long term

My neighbor told me a new single broad moved in down the street.

Then he looked at me like I was crazy when I said "mmm. Mystery Bounty."

Perhaps present yourself as a poker coach, assuming you do a bit of that in addition to playing (I mean you are advertising yourself as one here, are you)? In conversation, you can explain that it is fairly similar to being a chess coach or a Tennis or BBJ Instructor.

No I don't feel you 😀

People feel what you feel.

Remember that sentence, this will change it all.
If you want people to feel good about what you do, you have to OWN it. It is that simple.

You will have to speak about poker as if you're banging a chick. It has to be exciting, fun, intense and mysterious, and people will be taped to your lips.

You can do that by just focusing on the best things about poker:

- Being independent
- Having no boss to report to
- Have an unlimited option to move up in income.
- Being able to travel almost everywhere in the world and work there
- Meeting interesting people
- Telling stories about interesting people
- Using your brain
- Competition
- Having to be disciplined, focused
- Being a self-made man
- Being your own manager, and showing self-worth, control, bankroll management and all the things that separate workers from entrepreneurs

...if she is doing ****tests aka congruence tests with you, it will be a sign of insecurity on her part. She wants to know, if she can be with you,
and if YOU feel secure about yourself. And if you do, it doesn't matter what you do. You can clean windows, and OWN it, as long as you play to
move up and open your own company etc. and have everything planned out. Women look for security. Not that you are providing, but more like you have
you **** together, so she doesn't need to be worried to babysit you.

chicks hate it. find another profession or get hookers or one night stand.

If you got a chick that doesn't want to be with you just because you play poker for a living, then you got the wrong chick.
Or you might not treat your stuff professional enough, and she feels that.
(Tilting/cursing/feeling down all the time)

There shouldn't be a problem if you have your s#*! together.

Hi Kanaxis

Yeah think you should be upfront about what you do as I think a lot of partners would be able to sense something wasn’t quite right if you say something different.

Also you can clearly tell your a smart guy from not much time with you so any partner not able to handle poker might not be able to handle other stuff that comes up in life.

Good luck out there sure you will find someone great.

Personally, even posting here if some random person told me they are a professional poker player I would assume they are full of **** too.

I would just assume they are a degenerate or have a trust fund until proven otherwise.

Many women aren't going to want to bet on the instability of the life of a professional gambler long term.

The women I have known that would be into this, money talks. They would have no problem as long as you are spending money.

It seems kind of obvious though that the best thing would be to find a woman that really likes poker too.

You are limiting options because of this life choice though. To think otherwise is delusional.