To afriad of having butthole sex

So i was curious about anal sex one day. I didnt want to have it for real cause there is god damn poop in there. So i came up with a fun way to simulate it minus the poop and the crack whore.

Step 1: grab a jar of Jam
Step 2: unscrew the lid to the jar of jam
Step 3: Microwave a bagel.
Step 4: Get duck tap
Step 5: duck tap the luke warm bagel to the business end of the jam jar
Step 6: I think you know what step six is.
Step 7: enjoy!

Pro tip: microwaving the jelly is also a good idea

Test it out fellas and tell me what you think 😀