Thread about dating girls and struggles and loneliness

Hi I want to date a girl because I feel lonely and I have no friends.From school to highschool I used drugs,nicotine,tobacco on myself because I had no way to make a connection with someone.My dad always beated me and I was very weak and couldn't draw a circle or other things.I went to the gym but no one cheered me up and I wanted to commit suicide.
I know this sounds insane but how do I get a girlfriend?What do I tell her?
I mean in college no girl would look at me because I don't have this psychological way of confessing that I love someone and neither I have this emotion in me for that.
2 years ago I pressed the heart meridian with my own finger on the heart because I felt like that guy from Hokuto no Ken Souther and Kaioh.I want to find love.
Where can I find it?