A Gambler's Ramblings
Introduction
I used to play a lot of poker from ca 2004/2005 - 2008 or so. I was never a winner, quite the contrary - I was quite a big loser. The main reason for this was alcohol and tilt issues, as during this period I was more or less drunk a large portion of time. Sometimes it is beyond me how I could hold down a normal job and social life considering the copious amounts of alcohol consumed. On the other hand, I was young, irresponsible and addicted. To say I could handle the booze would be an overstatement, since I obviously could not, but at least physically I was able to keep up appearances.
The good thing is that when I was sober and playing my A-game, I was actually pretty good. Bad thing is that I was sober quite seldom and even when I had stretches of being sober for a longer period of time (a week or a month), any winning went to paying of debts I had incurred when borrowing money to play. I mostly played live since I quickly got bored online and started playing too many hands. I have read and heard a lot of people complaining how live is boring, but for me it is quite the opposite - I almost never get bored at a live table, while online HU/Shorthanded are basically the only cash games I can play, and even then I need to take a break or quit playing after an hour or so in order not to start to play bad and tilt. I do however play MTT:s online, somehow I do not get bored folding a ton of hands if it is a tournament - probably something to do with competitive instincts. At least nowadays.
Anyway, around 2008 I quit poker and slowly started turning my life around, cutting down drinking and so on. Since then I have played poker maybe 10 times in total, with at least a couple of these sessions being on the tail end of a drunk night out. Disgustingly expensive. My personal issues, especially the drinking, got progressively better over time, but I did anyway come to a conclusion that I need to quit alcohol after this summer. I was getting drunk twice a year or so, the rest of the time I had something like 2-3 beers (I set a limit at three units) or glasses of wine 2-3 times a week. However, the two times a year getting drunk made me a loose cannon since I never could tell what would happen and when it would happen, so it was just easier to give it up altogether. Completely sober since August and feeling great about it, no regrets and temptation whatsoever.
I have always liked poker and the few drunk-relapse-tilt-a-lot-of-cash sessions I had after 2008 were often connected with me reading about poker. Although I quit, I never mentally left the game completely - I quit mostly out of self-perservation reasons. I did not fiend or lust for the poker tables (except maybe when drunk - alcohol always awakens my inner degen) during all these years (at least not consciously), but now that I am sober and sure to never drink again I want to take up poker as a hobby.
Right now I am at a great point in life, I have a lovely wife and two small kids (so very limited time to play), I own a small business in the service industry, my job is fulfilling and interesting (so even more limited time to play) and although it does not make me rich, I am in a point in life where I can easily gamble away a few hundred euros each month without it affecting my life at all.
I have set myself some ground rules - not depositing more than 100E online each month and not losing more than that (roughly) live as well. I am however allowed to transfer any winnings back and forth between online and live. And poker cannot negatively affect my family or work life - if it is my turn waking up with the kids, being at the casino until 6AM is not a valid reason to not fulfill my duties.
GOALS:
My poker goals for this year are more or less to manage to build something resembling a bankroll. I would like to play some live cash as well (this has always been my preferred game, although lately I have appreciated MTT:s much more as well), but the local casino spreads 2/2 NLT and 2/2 Dealer´s Choice, often getting quite deep as the evening goes on. Sitting down without at least 250E and (preferably) at least another 250 for a rebuy is not something I would consider, but spending up to 500E for "a night out" is also not something I would consider. Also, if this was "life" money I probably would play a bit scared and that would hamper my play a lot.
Since poker is just a hobby and something to do for fun, I will not follow BRM too closely, since if I bust then I can just wait a few weeks and play again. I will try to play more MTT:s, since they offer a high reward for a low stake, but the problem is again time - if I start playing when the kids go to bed and go deep, it means staying up late and sleep is something that I value more and more the older I get. And I cannot afford to stay awake until 3AM if I need to wake up at 6:30 and be sharp at work.
I hope you will enjoy this blog.
TL;DR:
- used to be a drunk degen
- lost a lot playing drunk
- quit poker for 10 years
- quit alcohol
- playing again just for fun since I can afford it
6 Replies
First Gambling of 2024[/B]
I was planning to go gambling last Saturday, but cancelled due to not getting enough sleep, and due to wife and daughter coming back from a couple of days in our summerhouse during the last week of school holidays, but on Wednesday I was good to go - even managed to clock almost nine hours of sleep, which is quite a feat considering I have to get up at 7 AM every morning to get the kids ready for school.
I arrive just at the game starts, I know everyone playing, and somehow I get off to a really hot start:
Half an hour in I am sitting on something like 400 EUR in profits, after scoring an early double up and then stacking another player. However, from there it went downhill fast. Unfortunately, my recall is quite hazy, since we were playing fast, I was in the mood to gamble and thus played most hands, often with an open-raise, and most of the other players were in a splashy mood as well. Sometimes I got it in good, sometimes I got it in bad, but it was just not happening for me - a prime example of this was when I three-bet AKQJT, flop KTx - I bet and get check-raised to 150, I jam for a tad over 300 and chop it against naked KT. Meh. There was one spot where I got my hand stuck in the cookie jar, flop was T32 with two clubs, I had K-high clubs and 54, action went bet 15 - raise 45 and here I chose to make it 150 to go (since both players were active and this scenario had played out a couple of times, I figured that the re-raise might be light). The best course of action is probably fold I guess, since I can´t really call, and re-raising commits me. The first player tanks forever before folding TT, figuring he is up against a wrap+FD, but the second player jams for 290 total and I am of course committed. Club on the turn and I am dead - he had T2 for two pair and nut clubs to go with that, so I had only six outs and some backdoors, but poor play from my side. Way too agressive.
Anyway, after a while I end up in for 600 with only a tad over 100 in my stack, it is around 1:30 AM and I just want to go home, so I three-bet blind and get called, and then jam blind and get called. I turn out to have flopped trips and hold against some type of one pair+straight draw hand. Guess I am not going home after all. Soon afterwards I score another double, when I had raised J9866 and hit a dream flop of J76. I bet and get called, the turn is a king, I pot (leaving something like 20 behind), we get it in and run it twice. Make the straight on the first board, blank on the second and I scoop. Then I pick up a large win in a three-way bomb pot, where I flopped top set on 983 with two clubs on one board (nothing on the other) - I call a flop bet together with a bunch of other players, on the turn the board pairs up (9833) so I lead and get called in two spots, river is a 9 giving me quads so I bet again and get called in two spots and win 50%. Then I lose a quite big one when I three-bet a semi-connected high hand (like AKT97 or something along those lines), get jammed on by the player on my right for around 180, I reluctantly call it off and turns out I was a big favourite against a trash hand, but I lose. Can't win all the gambles, can you?
As play is winding down, I somehow manage to get myself involved in quite a marginal situation yet again. On the turn, one board is 8426 with two hearts, on the other board there are two hearts as well. I have A66x with nut hearts, so middle set and nut flush draw on both boards, on the second one I also have a gutshot. It goes check-check-bet 95 from a player with 100 behind-call. I should probably just call and see what the river brings, but instead I decided to make a play here. I know that the player that called probably isn´t too strong - in this spot I am pretty sure that the player who bet has 75 for the nut straight based on how the play went (bet-call-call flop, check-check-bet-call turn) and I am assuming that the player who bet flop and now called turn has a mid-range drawing hand of some sort, or maybe even 75 himself with no equity on the other board. So I basically decide to just wing it and pot it to 430, leaving something like 150 back - my opponent had roughly the same amount of money back, maybe a little less. After a long think, he folds, both boards run out blank but I manage to find a chop since my 88 is good on one of the boards. The guy who folded claims that I would have scooped the large side pot had he not folded... not sure I believe that, though.
Afterwards not much happens, and in the end I cash out 620 EUR for a massive 20 EUR profit. Considering I was in a gambly mood and played way too many hands, I am pleased with the result.
***
In other news, Covid was quite a breeze except for a few days of massive fatigue, but this time it lingered a bit longer than previously, had a day of massive fatigue a couple of days ago for no apparent reason. Also my swimming times and performance is way down. Not sure this is due to Covid though, could also be because of me getting very little excercise from like the 10th of December - kids were sick and then the pool was closed for maintenance until the new year. I really hope it is just a mix of post-viral fatigue and no excercise, if it´s not I´ll start to worry about my health and probably go see a doctor. However, I think that when I get back to 3-4 times/week of excercise, the strength and stamina will return, and I am still much better off than before. It´s just that the drop is so noticeable, especially when pushing a bit harder.
Oh, and I was going to quit vaping tomorrow. But then a friend invited me out for dinner and beer on Saturday evening, so no use trying to quit on Friday if I am going out on Saturday. And next week I am off to Stockholm for a work trip, arrive on Thursday evening and fly back Saturday evening. I somehow, by pure coincidence, booked a hotel literally next door to the casino, so there is quite a big chance of me accidentally venturing there on Thursday. No major degenning though since I need to be fresh for work on Friday, and on Friday I´ll probably go out with friends - might end up in either the casino or poker club anyway, but we´ll see about that.
Until next time!
Gambling it up in Sweden
Friday night, it´s around 4:30 AM, and I am in for more money than I was counting for, but in my quite inebriated state I could not find the willpower to leave a game that was obviously good only because I ran out of cash in my wallet, especially as the ATM is just a minute away. We are playing 25/25/50 SEK NLT, which translates to rougly 2.5/2.5/5 USD, and it is action, it is splashy, loads of deep stacks and for once I am actually having fun playing a two-card game.
After some heavy action on the flop, which was J84 with two spades, I am rooting for a spade to hit the turn. The pot is around 9k already and I have only 3.5k back - but I am holding A4 of spades for a pair and a flushdraw. The turn, however, blanks out and the big stack puts out a bet of 6k. Call, call by two shorter stacks, who I barely cover. Of course, I am never folding, so I just stick it in and say run it once.
If I win this pot, I am up around 8k for this night. If I lose, I am down 13k and booking a huge loss for this trip. And it all comes down to just one card...
***
I arrived in Stockholm Thursday night. After a few beers and dinner in the lounge (I have free lounge access in a number of airports thanks to one of the cards I have) I was feeling good. I checked into my cheap-ass hotel, strategically located a couple of hundred meters from the casino, charged my phone for a while and then headed out to the casino.
I enter the casino and head up to the poker room only to find out that a 25/25 PLO5 table is about to open - however, a must-move one.I head down to get some chips, lose 1k on roulette, and then make my way up to the table which turns out to be 25/25 on paper, but playing 25/25/50 since everyone straddles, and score a double-up the very first hand, only to lose it back a few hands later. I raise AA97xss, one of the blinds three-bets and gets a few callers, so I pot it to 3000 and get four callers. Flop is Q97 with two spades, the first player jams, the other two (shorter stacks than me) call as well and I of course call. A 9 on the turn gives me some hope, but the big stack turns up an absolute monster: KQQJT with spades. Oh, well.
I reload and the action player who scooped the large pot just keeps winning and winning, running up his stack to something like 35-40k in a few orbits. I do start picking up some steam and am sitting on around 9k (in for 7k) when I get called to the main game. Very tilting, since this game was good and just an orbit earlier we discussed changing it to 50/50 with optional straddle instead of 25/25 with mandatory straddle, but one player refused.
The main game sucks, but I still decide to keep playing. I proceed to lose a pot with NFD+gutter vs set, and instead of leaving I head down to get more chips. This was the single worst decision I made during the whole trip and although I did make some dubious decisions on later days, this decision - while being more or less sober - was the very worst one. I proceed to lose a largish pot when I call down with the second nut straight and nut blockers (was very close to folding, but in the end I decided that I have a blocker for the nut straight, so **** it) and then I lose the rest when KT9xx failed to improve against naked Aces on QJx.
Of course, I am not one for going home 15k down, so I grab a whiskey sour and compliment myself on good planning - in my shirt pocket I have a 1000 SEK chip left and a 1000 SEK slot ticket. Time to grind it back!
I casually stop at the first roulette table I see, toss the croupier the chip and say “Five with neighbours, two hundred”. And what do you know, the five hits and all of a sudden I have reduced my loss by around six thousand. I play some more, win some, lose some, but as I head down to the slot room, I have 8000 in chips in my shirt pocket. As for the slots, I am off to a slow start, but then I hit a bonus, and in the end I head to the cashier´s cage with 11500 SEK for a total loss of only 3500. I head to bed, thankful for my roulette and slot skills which clearly eclipsed my poker skills this evening.
***
After a busy Friday at work, I get back to my hotel, grab a beer and some chips from the hotel bar and relax. An hour later I go out to meet a friend from high school who I hadn´t seen for at least 10 years. We go grab a burger and a beer, and then head out to a bar for more beer.
Here I see something that you rarely see anywhere else, something that is symbolic of the fanatical drug policy of Sweden, where they are really tough on casual drug users while being completely unable to deal with the higher-ups and the spiraling gang violence. At around 10 PM, in a bar, three police officers walk in. Not to deal with a troublemaker, no. They just walk around and look at people and try to find out if someone´s not having a sniff of some powder on a ****ing Friday night. Ten minutes later they leave.
And in clubs, they actually have plain-clothes officers monitoring potential drug users - a friend of mine got busted in Sweden while walking to the toilet, and he didn´t even have anything on him. Of course, he had used drugs, and will now get a fine, but this is something I find truly bizarre. Okay, go look for drug dealers, if that´s the drug policy you have. Whatever. Go after underage users to try to get them into rehab, or at least think twice before doing drugs in the future. But to go after peaceful adult drug users on a weekend night? That is just so ****ing absurd that I can´t wrap my head around it. Sure, if someone´s totally ****ed up and doing bad **** - arrest their ass. I´m all for it.
But this? Just sick.
Anyway, a few hours we head over to a rock club where we hung out as youths, happily notice that the place hasn´t changed much, and some time after two we bid our farewells. As I sit in the taxi to the poker club, I feel so happy to have people in my life that you haven´t met for more than 10 years, but when you meet it feels like a month has passed at the most. That truly is a blessing.
***
As I wait for the dealer to put the chips into the middle and check the stack sizes, I do a quick count. I am in for 13k (I had only brought 7k when I went out, and another 6k from the ATM), if I lose I am almost 17k down for the trip. Kind of brutal, but whatever, haven´t had a big gambling loss in quite a while and in December I did win a lot of…
…and my thoughts are interrupted by the deuce of ****ing spades on the river, letting me scoop this massive 20k+ pot!
Boom! There we go, baby! Back in action! This was the second time I was all-in with my second buy-in, the first one also went well:
In this hand, I had three-bet TT. Flop was QTx, check-I bet-he raises, I just call. Turn a low blank, he bets, I jam, he calls, we run it once and my set is good. What made it even more funny was that I had a friend back home drinking and texting me to take 10% of my action, and after I won this pot he asked me for a live hand peek over video. I obliged, and what would you know? I saw in my phone screen that I opened red Aces!
And to make it better, there is an open and a few callers before action is on me, and when I make it 1000 to go, the opener makes it 3000, leaving only a tad over 2000 behind, we get it in and I win both runouts. Good times. Around this time my stack maxed out at somewhere between 25-30k:
And as you can see from the image, I obviously have the 100 straddle on, because this is how you play, right? And after such a win, you need a celebratory beer, right?
Of course, what goes up must come down, especially if it is 5AM, you are drunk and the game is playing big - but after making a dubious call an hour later and getting shown top set, I call it a night and cash out 14150 SEK for a profit of 1150 SEK. Not bad at all, considering the amount of alcohol consumed and the fact that I barely ever play NLT these days.
***
I awake at 10:30 on Saturday, somehow my body decided that I shouldn't sleep until my wake-up call an hour later. Oh, well. I realise that I still am a bit drunk from last night, but, oh, well. **** happens. At 11:59 I check out and I am feeling quite good about my day - I don't have any real plans except picking up some gifts for the family. I walk around until I find the first open kebab place, have a distinctly average kebab and with kebab-boosted energy levels I continue to go about my business. At around 2 PM I decide that enough is enough and make my way to a pub, where I have a few refreshing beers and snack on some garlic-fried shrimp. I realise that I shouldn't keep sitting in a pub, since I really don't want to get drunk, so I walk around a bit more before I find myself next to the train station.
Two hours to go before I need to leave to the airport and a casino right next door, so what's a degen gonna do? Of course, keep degenning! Fortunately for me, the first slot I sit at rewards me with a nice little win, and when I move over to the next one, I get a sweet bonus:
A while later I cash out 7500 SEK after being in for 1000 SEK. I decide to ask for 6500 SEK in cash and 1000 in chips, so I can have a Whiskey Sour at the roulette table before leaving. This time the roulette isn´t kind to me, especially the final two spins when I the number that hit was adjacent to one that would have given me a nice profit. Especially the last spin was evil, as I had bet around four numbers and a hit would have given me around 5000 in return.
All things considered, this trip was a great success with several unlikely comebacks - and in the end I posted a profit of around 5000 SEK!
Until next time!
Love it!! Hard enough to find good drunken gambling action where I am but reading your TRs is the next best thing!! LFG 2024 heater year!
Love it!!���������������������� Hard enough to find good drunken gambling action where I am but reading your TRs is the next best thing!! LFG 2024 heater year!
Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, the games back home are usually quieter (although sometimes totally degen as well), especially the weekday game I play in quite a lot when it runs, since I have work the next day I always drive and stay sober. But with age comes wisdom, which means work on Friday abroad = fly out late Thursday afternoon and back home on Saturday!
Today I Deposited 50 on Stars and Played the Biggest PLO25 Pot of my Life
And although I am known for the excessive use of words to describe degenerachy, a picture says more than a thousand words:
Villain bet the flop (he played crappy), so I happily came over the top for around 100 more, he snap-called and I figured I would be up against a set, but hey, he had TPTK and TPTK goooood.
Although all is not bad, there was a Euroleague game here in Riga tonight (Anadolu Efes-Maccabi), my son is in first grade so they have an extra week of holidays so my wife and my son is in the summerhouse, I wanted to go to the game but daughter said no, so we had a chill night with dinner at a Japanese restaurant and some shopping, and at home I drank a few beers and watched the game, but yeah, the reason I am telling this is that ten minutes before the game I messaged by dealer and asked him to bet Efes -4,5 for me, and I bet just the right amount to have a gram for free if I win, so tomorrow this degenerate is picking up a gram of coke for free (ok, iif you count the bet, it's for half price, but whatever). I won't use it tomorrow though, wife and son returns from the summerhouse, hoping to have some fun with wifey, so I'll pass both on poker and going out, but still, better to call in your gambling wins in due time, right?
I have no poker or casino gambling to report on, just been working, taking care of the family and indulging in the occasional drug-fuelled party night. I mean, one of those nights turned out really degen and extremely fun (basically we did a shitload of MDMA, my Garmin thought I did a swimming workout between 02-08 AM, while in reality I was just feeling awesome and dancing like a monkey to some nice electronic beats all night), but no poker or gambling, so not much to write home about.
Until next time!
Where are you buddy?