Bribri's blog

Man that is rough. I'm glad you bounced back... I'm currently at a low point in my life, trying to bounce back myself.

Rough but self-inflicted. It’s only once I stopped making excuses I was able to change completely. It’s a lot like poker actually, you vs you.

In rehab and AA they say it’s a disease, that you are a vitcim. I have nothing against AA or rehab, it helped me a lot, but I think enforcing that theory on people that struggle with alcohol or whatever just makes it worse. It made me feel like a victim, it made me feel helpless, like it’s not my fault so there’s nothing I can do about it which is absolute bullsh**.
If you put your mind to it you are capable of great things. You can become a person that does what they say they’re gonna do. I will do 100 pushups a day, you do it, I will become a professional poker player, you do it. I will quit smoking and drinking, you do it.

I don’t know what you are struggling with but I hope you will find the strength to get through it! Take care!

Not gonna give an update for last week. I started playing again last weekend, 20NL&50NL 6 tables. Took some time to get back into it but we back! I really don’t like taking such a long time of poker even though it was only 9 days.

Will have a coaching session today on bluffcatching when facing BXB line and later also want to have one for facing probes and follow up OTR.

My baseline is getting stronger and stronger which makes me feel very comfortable and stops me from punting or getting out of line. I of course still adjust where I can.

Also talked to team leadster yesterday in office again. Parttime should be possible by next year. Probably February or March. I don’t really care what my results are by then, I just want to give it my everything in this. Parttime and poker will be the perfect combo imo.

Ps: Montenegro is a beautiful country!

Small sample because of holiday but I don't like how I played. A recurring problem seems to be that I learn something and then apply it to the extreme. Like when I learn a new line based on MDA, I apply it without thinking, not taking the other factors into consideration anymore.
Somewhere down the line I also lost all my creativity, I am playing like a robot. It started since I wrote out my strategy, it helps to avoid punts and tilt but as said, it makes me play like a robot and it takes the fun away. I would never be able to play like this for long stretches of time.
It's not a big issue imo, I just need to take all these pieces and put them together while allowing for deviations and creativity.

I also decided to study more. I sometimes like studying more than playing honestly. I should also focus on improving, not getting in volume. I thought GTOW was a waste of time until 200NL, but that was because I didn't know what I was doing, I was mindlessly drilling without actually retaining anything or learning something. Now that I understand the game better I like to look at spots, see what GTO is doing and then compare it to what pool is actually doing and figure out how I need to adjust. This is active study and the best way to learn for me. Then there are some other resources I will use as well.

So the plan is to actively study at least 2-3 days a week and see from there. Always be mindful not to go from one extreme to the other, just expand the strategy step by step and become a more complete player.

For the coming weeks I will also keep mixing 20NL/50NL depending on how it goes and how I feel.

October:
Results: -138,3eur
Rakeback: 177,29eur
Total: 38,99eur
BR: 1011.71eur

So this month is one to forget resultswise but I learned a lot and I am even more excited now for the future as I think I will have a blast!

GLGL!

Gl in November!
You are the only one that can make this work!

I am getting a bit butchered at the moment. Down 9 buyins 20NL (2 buyins under ev), 4.5k hands. After reading some articles and talking to other players about variance I came to understand that this is all very normal. I feel like I am playing better than ever, way better than my good September month. It is a bit daunting though how wild variance can get but if I want to make it this is something I will have to learn to cope with.

So moving forward I will rate my sessions based on the quality of decision making instead of results. I will create an excel file where I rate every session, how did I feel, did I tilt, if yes, what caused it? What was my routine before session, ...
This will lead me to focus on making the highest EV decision in every spot rather then feel bad because I'm down. I do not tilt very easily but I did "punt" 1.5 buyins during this downswing because of tilt. 1BI I still got it in w nut flush draw and overcard OTT but the way I made the decision was pure tilt. The other half buyin was just very bad play.

I will also stop updating this blog every week as it will make me focus too much on short term results again. Once every month will be better imo. Maybe I will start posting some hands in between.

I also have a great coach now and getting constant feedback from far better players. I am improving fast and playing better than ever. The results will follow, I have no doubt.

Lastly, I ditched the part-time job idea (before this downswing). I didn't realize how good this situation actually is that I am in right now. I work mostly from home and don't have to do a lot so I have a lot of time to review hands or go through some course during the day. I can also choose the time I start, so mostly I start at 7am and finish at 3pm which gives me all day to grind, workout, go climbing, ... Also, they pay very well considering I live in an Eastern European country. With this job I can buy a house here in a year or 2. (not taking possible poker winnings into consideration).

All this made me realize that I am always looking for greener grass on the other side, blinding myself for what I have right now, that I am the happiest I have ever been, how fortunate I am. I am feeling more and more at peace with myself after that turbulent decade in my life.

Allright. Little update. I will take a break from playing poker until at least next year and focus on study only.

I am getting burned out and I just don’t enjoy playing anymore.

I will use this time to completely reset. Start working on the absolute basics by going through theory based courses so that I have a very solid foundation to build further upon. This will take time but I am in no rush. It will remain a work in progress forever anyway.

I will also focus heavily on the mental game as this is where the root of all my „problems” lie.

GLGL