Letter to my younger self

I can still see myself walking quickly with my head down to the parking garage from the Beau Rivage casino. Why was I walking quickly with my head down? Because once again I had dusted off what little money I had to my name playing poker.

As soon as I got in my car (that I was several months behind on paying) I let out the biggest scream in desperation and sadness. I repeatedly punched the steering wheel as I continued screaming and cursing myself. I then burst into tears as I drove off back to my apartment in Mobile, Alabama.

What had I done? How was I always letting myself get to this point?

I knew for certain that I didn’t make enough money to be addicted to playing poker. But that knowledge didn’t stop me. I was still relatively new to the game and was in LOVE with poker.

I made the decision on my way back home that early morning that I was going to beat this game. I was going to learn how to crush this game. I knew it was possible to be a professional poker player and I wasn’t going to stop until I was one.

From that day forward I threw myself into studying and trying to figure this game out.

It wasn’t always easy and it still took several more years of heartache, thousands of hours of playing, and a move back to the west coast before I finally arrived. What was once a dream was now a reality; I was a full fledged poker professional.

I love being a poker pro. I’ve been a professional player for about five years now and I still enjoy playing as much as I did when I first started out at the casinos on the gulf coast of Mississippi. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not playing anymore routine 15 hour sessions anymore 😆. But I’m still putting in the work and I still love this game and that’s just never going to change. I live a comfortable life now and money is no longer an issue like it was when I was working an hourly security job at Walmart trying to build a bank roll. Poker gave me all this and I am grateful for what the game has provided me with as well as the many lessons it’s taught me along the way.

It was not an easy journey by any means. At times it was downright dreadful. But my mental strength and determination allowed me to get to where I wanted to go.

You can do it too. It’s possible. Believe in yourself. Trust the process. Stay disciplined. Embrace the journey.

If I could go back in time and give that kid advice who was sitting in his car screaming and in tears at yet another loss it’s this: “It will all be okay in the end. You’ll look back on this one day with a tearful smile and be so thankful for the journey. One day this game will start giving back as much as you’re pouring in and then some. It will be hard but that’s what makes the end result so fulfilling.”

From time to time I still have flashbacks to that kid driving home in shambles and it makes me savor the wins even more these days.

Poker is a beautiful game.