you cant stop the PROPHET
I came up with this idea throughout a two-week holiday that I took a while back. I'd just played cash at a week-long tournament series. Normally, I'd treat these things like a holiday - play for 12 hours, drink for a couple of hours with friends, and then return the next day for more of the same. However, everything was last-minute this time, and my hotel was a 15-minute drive from the casino. I couldn't drink. This was game-changing.
I became vaguely interested in health and fitness when my weight ballooned to 80kg. I'd been 60kg, healthy enough, for about four years, but all the alcohol I'd drunk and exercise I hadn't done shot me right up. I started going to the gym, drinking less, eating better, and dropped to 70kg. But that's where my momentum died. I weighed in at 69.4kg this morning, which is still not great given I'm in my twenties. I shouldn't be wasting my theoretical prime like this.
What I noticed at this tournament series is that everyone was living like ****. Everyone was drinking during/after playing, diets were awful because all casino food is fried, and everyone was overslept because of late-nighters. I consider poker a sport in some ways, and none of these people were particularly athletic.
Whilst I was on holiday this month, the Olympics were on. I always find it inspiring to watch competitive sports - people performing at the highest level is infectious. The emotion and thrill of the competition look incredibly exciting, similar to deep runs in tournaments, but with more of the body involved. Then I had an idea - what if I treated poker like these athletes treat their disciplines?
I've done a lot of research into routines for mind sport and physical sportsmen. Turns out there is a lot of pseudoscience online concerning sports and coaching. Lots of people want to sell you 1-on-1 packages, "life coach" deals and online things. It was a pain to cut through all the chaff and get some key bullet points.
Being in shape doesn't replace the edge of skill. You don't suddenly get better at poker for the sake of being jacked or super fast - but I think that living super-healthily can enable you to think "on the spot" more effectively and have better memory recall, emotional regulation and mental tenacity. I hope it can serve as the "cherry on top" of the skill edge that I'm continuing to build as I practice.
I have been thinking about what my goals are. My life goal is to win everything, but this is a bit far-fetched and doesn't help with short-term motivation, so I've planned out objectives for this stage in my poker career:
Spoiler
- Play 30k Hands a Month Online
- Run 4 Days a Week
- Stretch 6 days a Week Pre/Post Exercise
- Exercise 6 days a Week
- Sleep 8+ Hours Every Night
- Drink alcohol as little as possible
I will also buy a YELLOW PORSCHE with the winnings.
I live in the sticks, so getting live experience isn't really possible unless I travel for some bigger regional/national series. But in my country, they're not that great anymore. I also don't mind just playing online, because then I get to 100% focus on the plans that I've made.
I also have a nutrition plan that I've worked out. It's quite flexible, but focuses a 2200kcal limit daily, 150g protein intake for recovery/buildup, lots of fruit/veg for nutrients. Five days a week strength training in afternoons, 4 days a week running short/long distance to improve time in both disciplines
My daily posts aren't going to be too detailed because I have quite busy days planned, but I'll make sure I provide the topline (weight, hands played, results, etc). Happy to answer questions about my methodology such that other people can try this out.
I'm also considering starting a coaching operation in my free time, geared at live poker players in the US up to 5/10. I don't have the record to prove my ability above this stake yet.
One doesn't just jump into the life of an athlete though - the body will surely burn out and the mind become deflated. I intend to spend the final four months of the year building up to a level I would consider "athletic", to ensure that I stay attached to the program that I have designed.
It's 10pm presently, I begin the experiment tomorrow. Tuesday's exercise is a short distance run (thankfully) in the mornings, and a Pull session in the afternoon. I will update the thread on how it goes, as I begin what could be a few years of work.
Enjoy yourselves,
bb/100
Spoiler
P.S. I didn't mention this in the original post, but I am blessed to be financially secure enough that poker results don't affect me. As such, there will be some serious bankroll mismanagement in this thread. I feel that because I can afford to weather some serious swings, I am a good control candidate for this kind of program. I remember having to make ends meet when I was 20/21 and frankly the stress would be too much.
this was a fun one. tough to have a flush there buddy.
BTN: 267.1 BB
SB: 170.14 BB
bb/100 (BB): 102.5 BB
UTG: 241.58 BB
MP: 192.38 BB
CO: 100 BB
SB posts SB 0.5 BB, bb/100 posts BB 1 BB
Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) bb/100 has A♠ J♠
UTG raises to 2 BB, fold, fold, fold, fold, bb/100 calls 1 BB
Flop: (4.5 BB, 2 players) 5♦ T♥ 4♠
bb/100 checks, UTG checks
Turn: (4.5 BB, 2 players) K♥
bb/100 checks, UTG bets 4.28 BB, bb/100 calls 4.28 BB
River: (13.06 BB, 2 players) Q♥
bb/100 checks, UTG bets 6.2 BB, bb/100 raises to 18.6 BB, UTG raises to 235.3 BB and is all-in, bb/100 calls 77.62 BB and is all-in
UTG shows A♥ K♦ (One Pair, Kings)
(Pre 69%, Flop 81%, Turn 91%)
bb/100 shows A♠ J♠ (Straight, Ace High)
(Pre 31%, Flop 19%, Turn 9%)
bb/100 wins 201.5 BB
Hands: 1213
Result: -23.28
was up 6 buyins in EV at one point, finished around 2. shame we didn't lock it, think i had some real tough spots today.
got ill immediately. throat hurts, head is all over the place. out of action for a while
played 1k hands. didn’t feel great, don’t think i’m winning when i’m like this. come back some other time.
hands: 1023
result: +107.64BB
feeling diabolical today. can't focus sharply enough to play any more, can't work up the energy to study. tried playing some video games but I'm just not getting the rush from it.
need to spend more of my time in general studying. I'm too sucked into the "must play volume" mindset, when i could be making more progress on my game. true, it's not as fun, but the study is what will progress me further.
i guess i take the rest of the day off. i don't know what to do with myself. this sucks.
as my work gets more granular, i need to start paying attention to my rng. it's too easy to just rifle it off because these guys are terrified to put their stack in.
but now my work is getting more detailed, lots of hands lots of mixing. as i progress further, i will find opponents more apt for punishing me if I'm too unprotected in any direction. some proper strategic approach will sort that.
life leaks
- forget to wash face at night
- sometimes don’t drink cod liver oil
- bread and honey is not a nutritious meal
- spine like old man
i’ve been too engrossed in my work. making lots of progress, got a really healthy looking redline. but i have been forgetting to do basic life ****
need to focus on RNGing every spot and doing all the life stuff
i think i have adhd. this will come in handy when conscription begins. hopefully they see my brilliance as a tactician and don’t put me in the mine
The illness lasted a lot longer than expected. I still have a lump in my throat, but I'm back to getting up early and working hard.
I had a few projects due at work. We're migrating some of my processes onto a new system, but there's no knowledge base. I'm liaising with the one guy at the company who knows how everything works (who leaves for a competitor in a few weeks), so need to make sure I get every possible scenario written out. Once this is built, it will serve as a great tool for future recruits as my department expands under me. I'm also taking on some more responsibility in another department - slowly gaining a holistic approach to all of our systems. I think as I become more capable of every process at the company, this would set me up for further promotion/salary increase as my value to the operation increases. As the company looks to expand in the next year, I expect these people to come in as juniors, which would bump me up the corporate ladder.
Haven't been to the gym at all this week. I didn't want to risk doing cardio with a dodgy chest/throat and have myself out of action further. I'll likely start going again on Monday, back into the cardio grind. I still have this long-term goal in my head of running a sub-22 5km and a half marathon of any time. I've been enjoying using bikes, and am going to start increasing the duration of my bike sessions - it will do a world of good for my running time.
Poker has gone well. I've been more focused the past four days when playing, thinking more critically in each spot. As my understanding of the game grows, so does my confidence, although results are hard to come by. Redline continues to go upwards, but I'm still waiting for blueline to comply. I'm kicking its teeth in a bit by monkeying off a little too hard in spots.
I ran the numbers, and this year I'm down -£1607.82 in live/online. I can't find my exact figures for 2023, but I reckon I won about +£8,000, and about +£20,000 in 2022. My live volume (where basically all the money is made) has been the lowest since I started playing, so it's natural that the number is much smaller. I've played at festivals, but the volume hasn't been anywhere near enough to outrun variance. Since I bought my new phone in July, I've only logged 76 hours for a measly +£106 profit.
I reckon this is the strongest I've ever been. Online, I'm a lot smarter, I'm more focused and I work harder. Live, I've gotten a lot better at being fun to play with, I'm less shy/awkward at the table (unless I'm tired), and my ability to adapt GTO to the live format has never been more advanced. Results will be whatever this year, I don't see myself playing a ton of live in the next three months, and frankly I'm not bothered anyway.
I'm back in London next week for three nights. One night I'll be seeing a band I follow a bit. I might play a bit after that if I don't go for drinks with them and my other friends (loosely arranged), but will play the other two nights.
At the end of the month, I'll post the results for the month and my thoughts. We're losing at the minute, but we're playing well and it might turn around. The graph looks completely different to everything I've ever posted before which is a great sign.
2025 is going to be my year.
Performed a successful unstuck yesterday. I didn't feel like studying, so just started playing around 7 am. A trip to IKEA and some garden work aside, was rooted to my desk for 10 hours, listening to YouTube for white noise, and 2-tabling the hell out of Zoom. Took me about 2500 hands to do so.
I'm confident that I'm one of the best players in the 50nl Zoom pool regularly. Every other reg I'm spotting clear flop mistakes, clear under-aggression in the wrong places, and clear over-aggression in the wrong places. I don't consider it that you can be considered a "good" reg with so many obvious mistakes. At that point, you're just winning in the pool.
My confidence isn't very stable at the minute, however. I've never had a winning sample online, so I don't have anything to look back at and go "See, you were winning then and now you're even better" - I'm somewhat figuring things out for myself at the minute and hoping over time the lines just comply.
Back isn't getting any better. Trying my hardest to sit up properly in my chair but my posture slips a lot. Haven't found it in me to do my stretching routine - particularly because it's so difficult, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. I would like to have a spine, and on another note, my hands, when I'm 80. I can almost feel the incoming arthritis. Nothing is really worth my body.
there's so much popular media that i've never interacted with. never watched great films, never listened to much of the greatest music, haven't played the greatest video games or read the greatest books.
I'm going to start doing this in my downtime. I've made a spreadsheet of IMDB's top 250 films and Rolling stone's top 500 albums, installing some fun single-player games.
i think it would be a shame if i went my life and never experienced all this great entertainment.
it has occurred to me that whilst playing live might be the method of generating the most profit, it doesn't serve my purpose. in fact, outside of when other reasons force me to be in big cities and away from my desk, i shouldn't be playing, thinking about or planning to play more live poker at all.
frankly whether i'm down on the year, the money i can earn right this instant is outshone by the money i can make if i trade tonight's session for one of improvement. all i have to do is use the time wisely.
i have a job. so, whilst everyone else labours away playing but not improving, i figure the best resolution is to sit at home, play a bit of online, and study. because, after all, the only way I'm going to make any considerable amount is by being the best that i can.
Feeling very tired this morning. Did a half Push session in the gym at increased weight, but it's taken it out of me. I can't tell if it's because I haven't eaten enough calories/the right things enough recently, or if I have simply pushed myself too hard this morning with the weights.
Either way, bit of brain fog. Had lots of protein and fruit at breakfast, now deciding what I want to do with the day.
The quality of content on social media only seems to be getting worse. I haven't had Instagram reels in around two weeks, but needed to reinstall it to message some guys I'm organising a meet-up with in London. All my old follows etc were still there on the frontpage, and I can feel myself getting sucked back into it - but the content just doesn't feel as interesting/rewarding as it used to.
I can't tell if this is a result of being disconnected, and having allowed my brain to "reset" a lot, and not be as addicted to these formats. Maybe as I age, I just find entertainment in different means.
I haven't had the desire to study this week, and have been more interested in hammering out volume. I feel like I'm beating 50nl hard enough now, and I just want to prove it to myself before I move on to 100nl. I agree with what I said yesterday, about needing to study study study, but my heart just hasn't been in it this week. I'll get back to things after London.
graph going well today.
need to bring a suitcase down to London. i have a specific type of 1440p 27inch monitor that i got cheap online, but it's difficult to find one under 250 quid now. however, I've found one for sale near my mates apartment for under 100, but it's without the box. if it's in good condition, I'll buy it, wrap it in a blanket and take it home in the suitcase.
going to be a good week of live poker. I've done some specific live work so i reckon I'm fit to clean out tomorrow. they don't know what's coming.
online back in the black. will post graph at end of month.
london was alright. -£32
September 2024
Results
Online: +£391.03 (25,556 hands)
Live: +£130 (31 hours)
Total: +£521.03
Internet Cards
Spoiler
I am undoubtedly the best regular player in my 50NL pool. Having studied full-time for only a month, I can now tell that these guys are all over the place with a poor understanding of the theory. I’ve enjoyed learning how the solver bins them and attempting to replicate it.
My strategy has been completely overhauled, to become insanely aggressive in every node. I’ve found that people are overfolding criminal amounts whenever the calls aren’t natural. Natural or not, people are raising criminally small frequencies. Even in the age of GTO on-demand, it feels like nobody has looked at a ****ing sim.
I didn’t meet the goal I set of 30k hands. I live a complex life with a lot of moving parts - I work a full-time job, I frequently move between multiple cities, I’ve had lots of home maintenance to do, and am susceptible to frequent burnout. Given that I’m often doing 2-4 hours of study a day, it’s super tough to manage 1k hands a day (3-4 hour commitment) on top of that.
Focus is my key issue. This new revelation that I could have an attention deficit disorder has brought a new challenge, although, in reality, it has just enabled me to tackle one that already existed. Down the line, as games get tougher, I will need to focus much harder to be able to think. I think that with the stakes and difficulty increased, I will be much more stimulated, which might solve the problem itself. I hear that meditation helps, but in my case, if I have a disorder, I can’t see the scope for much change. I should give it a try in the name of science.
The study volume has lapsed somewhat in the closing week of the month. My desire to produce a sample that proves I’m winning at 50NL has far outweighed my desire to continue improving in the short term, as I want to face a new challenge. Once I move myself up, I expect I’ll be losing again, and a new challenge will commence.
I’m happy with how I’m doing and how I’m playing, and I’m happy with the progress I’ve made over the last months. Below you can see a table of my online play over the last year and you can see the progress.
I plan to play out the next couple of months, confirm my suspicions about my winrate, and then move on to the next challenge at 100NL, starting the same process again.
Real Cards
Spoiler
As stated above, it’s pretty tough to get any live volume booked. I only play live when work requires I go to a location with easy-to-access games. When I’m booked in a hotel, it’s quite fun to have this mini “poker holiday” when I’m out of the office.
I went to London twice this month, for a total of 7 nights. I played 5 and got drunk with friends on the other two. I could have converted these nights into another 16 hours of volume had I chosen, not to spend as much money on going out, but it is nice to see friends I don’t often get the chance to.
I think moving forward, I need to organise dinners instead of drinks, so I have max 1 glass of wine and still time to play after. I also think I’m going to use the e-bikes more, Tube served as a pain in the ass, continuing to decline my Apple Pay cards for no reason. It’s also ironically way quicker and way more peaceful. If I throw in some tunes it feels a bit like I’m in a film.
Having not played live in a few months, I started to feel down about the state of my poker playing. Games were getting harder, 200 and 500 fast fold was drying up on all sites. It felt a bit like I was getting in at the wrong time.
Oh how wrong I was. One week of live poker and I’m reassured that I could quit my job now and live comfortably. Everyone continues to be diabolical at the game, the regs continue to be fish that learned how to fold.
I’m happy with my play over these times, I’ve worked hard on live adjustments and put them into good effect. I showed a good work ethic by maximising the number of hours I could get in without compromising sleep. I know that I’ll be going to London and other cities in the coming months, so I will have the opportunity to keep the pressure on.
The results are whatever. I took some pretty serious beats in pretty serious pots this month, but poker can be brutal and that’s just how it is. I’ve collected a ton of EV that I will claim back some other time.
Exercise
Spoiler
Gym Sessions: 6/20
Getting ill midway through the month, on top of trips to London, didn’t leave me many days to complete this goal. Once again, I planned to hit such a high volume without considering the influence of real life, and have come up short as a result.
I have a PureGym Plus membership, so no matter what town I’m in, I do in theory have access to exercise, but with the days being so full on work trips, I find it one of the easiest things to cut out of the schedule, especially when the added trip to and from the location ticks the time required to over an hour.
Having watched a marathon on the TV recently, I am inspired to try and complete one of these before I’m past my prime. I struggle with injuries and overuse a lot (possibly related to my bed/desk chair) which stunts my progress. I’ve done a few 30-minute bike sessions for cardiovascular health, and started running 5 x 1km splits on a treadmill in an attempt to re-introduce my body to regular running. Going into October, I’m chasing distance instead of time, as I believe running further will strengthen my legs and improve my running speed.
In terms of strength, I’ve started right back at the bottom. A messy schedule has meant that I haven’t been able to implement a rigid routine - I've just been doing whatever I or my girlfriend felt like on the day (depending on whether I was alone or not). This has led to a few Push sessions (to perform a PPL split), but never making it to the second P.
These Push sessions have been mostly the same exercises, and the same weights:
Bench Press 30kg 4x10 (slow descent for added resistance)
Shoulder Press 8kg 4x8 (slow descent)
Tricep Dips 4x8 (35kg assist = 35kg weight)
Tricep Pushdowns ~14kg 4x8
I’m super keen to not push too far in any way and risk muscle injury, but my frequency of visits needs to increase in October. I can feel progress when I wake up the next morning, and I need to take that and run with it.
Health
Spoiler
The weight figure has stagnated, but with the small progress I’ve made in muscle building, this must represent an equal reduction in body fat. I want to return to the figure I had at 20 years old, with a mostly flat stomach and low fat% - probably won’t be satisfied until that point. I don’t even know if that is a healthy/reasonable goal. The effect of binge eating and drinking continues to rear its ugly head four years on.
In terms of mental health, I think every day has been 7/10 or better. I’ve felt stress and pressure from wanting to work so hard, and this has proved exhausting. I can’t tell if my sickness is caused by disease or burnout at the minute, I’m trying to be less hard on myself to be more relaxed. Stress is one of this generation’s silent killers.
Diet was the first thing to fall apart this month. The first two weeks I made sure to always carve the time out to cook good meals - lots of fruit and vegetables, lots of protein and healthy sources of carbs/fats. By about Week Three, the combination of illness and poor-quality sleep I’d been having translated to laziness. Breakfast and Lunch became rushed affairs, often delayed as I became glued to my desk working. Fewer fruit/vegetables, more toaster/microwave usage, poorer nutrition.
When home, sleep has been really good. I’m going to bed at 10 pm a lot, getting up at 7 am a lot. I feel well-rested some days, and on other days I have to force myself out of bed. I think this is linked to my health state as a holistic concept - if I’m not healthy, I don’t have the energy. That’s what makes managing all this super important. When I was in school, I rarely had more than 6 hours of sleep, being phone and video-game-addicted. With enough time, it started to affect my mental health and caused serious problems. This trend has continued throughout my life - if I’m not healthy, my mind can and will go. I won’t let this happen.
I’ve spent most of the month without any “Reels”-style social apps. I don’t miss them. I take the unfounded view that the effect they have on your dopamine production, and that more traditional forms of using the Internet like forums and reading long-form text are less mentally destructive. This hasn’t translated to much less screen time; playing live I was glued to my phone 24/7. However, instead of absorbing the deluge of slop now on Instagram etc, I was reading 2+2, BBC News and Wikipedia. I think it would be productive to install some books on my phone, so I can read those instead of the websites. I can feel my vocabulary shrinking, and see examples in the real world where people more and more are lacking the ability to properly express themselves (due to missing the words that they could use), and I’m scared of it. I want to keep the expansive lexicon that I grew up absorbing through reading. I read my first book, Soccernomics, in years this month, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Muscle injury is a concern now - particularly in the arms and legs. Since I began grinding Live poker in 2022, the phone usage I’ve engaged in has risked ruining my thumbs and wrists, and the circulation in them has disappeared. I don’t know if I’ll ever get that back - as I now deal with Raynaud’s Syndrome in both hands. This is purely linked to the phone - ridding my life of that will solve this and the screen-time issue two-fold. I don’t want arthritis.
Despite my posture at my desk being reasonable, my ankles feel stretched out, and I get pains/itches in my thigh muscles. I’m deathly afraid of blood clots, they’re becoming increasingly prevalent in young people post-COVID (not interested in vaccine debate) and I’m trying to live a very long and fulfilled life. I haven’t done anywhere near the amount of stretching I wanted to, either in the back or the legs.
October
Spoiler
Doing all of this has proved to be much, much harder than flicking on a switch. I’m at least able to acknowledge my failures this month, and I hope that by writing them out, I’m able to convert those mistakes into a better month.
With poker going so well, my attention now turns to every other aspect of life. I’ve proven that I can generate an output of work far beyond what I expected, but this has come at the expense of health, both physical and mental.
My primary objectives for the month are:
Force myself to stop working in order to eat full meals
Work fewer hours overall, and practice not pressuring myself too hard
Stretch legs, arms and back regularly to ensure longevity of muscles
Take life into account when scheduling days, and accept that I can’t do everything every day
Become a dinner reg instead of a drinks reg when in London
Chase distance when on the treadmill during running sessions
Reduce screen time, replace Internet scrolling with book reading
Taking this into account, my goals for October are:
Online Hands: 20,000
Study Hours: 40
Gym Sessions: 15
Healthy Meals: 60
I think these are super achievable numbers and hopefully, I can report at the end of the month that I’ve crushed them. This will require discipline.
I’m also designing a way to ensure that I’m doing all the smaller daily parts of a routine in - now that I understand ADHD/ADD may present a problem, I need to find ways to fix it.
Future
Spoiler
I’m looking at booking a Vegas trip whilst flights are cheap. I can take unpaid leave from work pretty easily, so might put in a two-week trip at the start of the year. I also want to play the Main this year, so am looking at my options to do that. I want to have all of myself whenever I play that event, as the money is so ludicrous when you win. I’d hate to win and have to pay out $7.5 million or similar.
I don’t expect to be leaving or quitting my job any time soon. I think that it’s one of the worst decisions I could make at this point. I am financially secure, have lots of time to play cards and pursue other interests, and get free transport to big casinos when they need me. I take the opinion that a poker career is a useless thing to have on your record by the time you’re past it - you have no relevant experience in any industry. Any job has to be taken at the lowest rung, and many jobs are prejudiced against older candidates in low-income positions. Those who don’t make life-altering money are locked into grinding ad infinitum or have to return to low-income work. Given my current position, it would be ludicrous to give that up in favour of the extremely high-risk life of a pro poker player.
That said, I am open to what the future may bring. My financials are in order, so if I am to win a million dollars, perhaps that life will look a bit more attractive.
On to October.
started playing the lottery. fully aware that in an isolated situation, this is a losing bet.
HOWEVER
If I were to bink the 8 million to one and win life-altering money, I would never have to work another day in my life (which I imagine stands at over 60 years right now).
Given that I am financially literate and can manage wealth, I wouldn't blow it all.
My life would be extended by the lack of stress from financial worry or work.
I would be able to partake in many experiences that I presently don't have access to.
These numbers aren't for the exact week but they're pretty representative. I could have greater success if I changed my strategy week-in/week-out depending on the prize distribution each week.
I'm effectively paying an extra tax of about £5 a week for the minute chance to never work again.
I'll be re-investing any winnings to the fund and taking profit above £500 (about one year of entries).
We shall see how it goes.
all my maths are completely wrong.
whatever. winning the lottery around the same time i win the main. doubt they'll check my working.
I have discussed starting a business with a friend today. We both bring unique skillsets and expertise to the table for our idea. Cranking out wireframes and sitemaps today, I've seen some key areas where competitors fall behind. Perhaps we will go through with this, and I shall have ideas to talk about soon.
made a lot of progress elsewhere today but feel super stressed and it's come out in my play today. think this is the worst I've played since starting this blog. think I might have COVID but have no evidence to back that up.
I keep waking up with the most vile, sticky mouth and mouth ulcers. I don't smoke, don't eat fast food/processed sugar often/at all, don't drink regularly. I brush my teeth twice daily, floss inter-dentally most days, and scrape my tongue. I wait 30 minutes after meals to do this, I wait 30 meals afterwards to eat. I don't use mouthwash - but since they appeared I've been using chlorhexidine a few hours after morning brushing to kill any bacteria. I've found a cavity on a tooth I chipped years ago, and one of my wisdom teeth has erupted with a cavity already in it.
I'm incredibly disappointed that I allowed myself to get to the point where I would develop cavities. I feel so distanced from the kind of degenerate life I used to lead, but I still bear some scars (fat, cavities, etc) from that lifestyle. I think I managed to sort myself out before massively increasing my risk rate of cancer/Alzheimer's, and part of my dedication to living so healthily is an effort to reverse the damage I did to my body.
I have a dentist appointment due in November which I am dreading - I have failed my family dentist. He will not be interested in my excuses - only the situation at hand. We learn from these mistakes.
football season is back baby. got my call-up this afternoon for the opening game on saturday. i haven’t played at all this summer, but will likely be in good form having got some running done this month. glad to have some inspiration to keep working on the treadmill.
still struggling with letting things take my focus off playing when i am playing. small things like checking the work emails/conversations, googling something that’s just popped into my head.
i caught myself in autopilot twice today not going for the jugular in some great turn probe opportunities and feel bad about it - i still feel powerless to fix it. i don’t know what to do
serious accident with the cat today. couldn't be in a better position - found him alive, breathing (although covered in blood), and rushed him into emergency care within 10 minutes. Given all the factors, he's young and in perfect health, so he probably has the highest possible chance of survival. insurance is already trying to **** me about over their cover but I have all policy documents and intend to **** them to full effect if they act up.
going to ****ing suck if he dies after all this.
i plan to just get on with things as usual. i imagine the penny will drop one night in a few days and I'll be a wreck for 12 hours, but I normally like to keep productive after traumatic events.
had to drive him an hour to an animal hospital for overnight treatment. done about £650 of the £1000 annual cover on his first stay - looking to be another £1000+ on the second stay.
he's fine physiologically - bloodwork, body temperature. concerns are kidney/liver damage (from low potassium) and any neurological damage.
girlfriend's a state, I've kept it together surprisingly well today. just done all the best things.
ran 5 x 1km splits today with 1 minute rest - could've pushed harder but don't want injuring for Saturday. very excited for the game.
might try 100 this month, feeling the itch.
I was supposed to do a pull session today, but yesterday's events have exhausted me to the point of not wanting to leave the house.
I'm doing some full-hand training today, testing my overall knowledge of some spots.
Football fixture time isn't confirmed tomorrow - it's confirmed I'm on the bench, but coming on if the game needs my input. I reckon I will carb load in the morning with a big breakfast, then probably eat a banana about 90 minutes before the match. I will probably drink a Lucozade for electrolytes. I'm nervous - I haven't kicked a ball in a while, and am not sure how ready I am for the sprinting element.
This blog has gotten very same-y of late. I'm going to dig out some recent hands I think are fun to flesh things out a bit.
