Following my passion in 2021

Fast Forward Through 5 Years of Poker A Rollercoaster Ride

So funny looking back at this now. Let me fast-guide you through the past five years of my poker journey.

If you've followed PG&C threads for a while, you know the usual pattern: When updates go quiet, it's rarely because someone's sunrunning. More often, it's because the player is downswinging, unmotivated, undisciplined, or simply can't face writing down the emotions swirling in their head.

Thats where I was.

2021 – The Dream Begins and Falls Apart

When I started this thread, I was hyped beyond belief. February 2021 was actually insane — my best poker month ever, binking over €9k profit.

But here’s what I didn’t realize:
My winrate wasn’t close to whats needed to go pro sustainably.
My bankroll management was reckless (spoiler: <100 buy-ins at times).
And my biggest score came from a 55$ Turbo Series donkament — which, let’s be honest, says something about my skill at that time.

Then came the crash:
I lost €8.5k over the next painful months. Yes, there was bad variance, but my poor game selection and bankroll decisions sealed my fate. And beeing on my own not getting the help I should have made it even worse.

SCOOP was brutal (even though I had over 60% of action sold). Slowly losing after Scoop too..

WCOOP? I saw it as my last chance to make it, so I went hard — too hard.
By August 2021, I’d decided WCOOP would be my swan song before returning to the 9-to-5 life. I was almost broke and hadn’t made a cent in 7 months.

Instead of enjoying my "last dance" by grinding small stakes with no pressure, I tried to force a miracle.
Of course, that backfired. basically busting the last 3k bankroll i had left. From like 18k to zero in 7 months which is obv not insane if you are firing 109s and even some 215s beeing at best probably like 1/bb/100 win back than and not having a seperated liferoll. so the bankroll had to pay expenses aswell. Really stupid from somebody coming from finance but yeah i thought id make money i guess. The Variance calculator gives you wrong indicators if you overerstimate yourself to much.

I’ll never forget the $530 Main I satellited into. 100% of myself, deep run, massive equity…
And then: KK vs AQ, ace on the river near the bubble, for over 10k EV.
Classic. That hand didn’t kill my career — but it sure was the final kick in the gut.

I remember crying in the shower, feeling utterly defeated. I loved this game so much, - I wanted to battle the best and make it. But like a dreamer and not like a grinder i drooled through 2021.

For than the dream was dead.
Back to office life.

Work turned out better than expected. My boss was awesome — even fronted me €500 so I could join a trip with my poker study group (super embarrassing to ask, but I’ll never forget it- probably most degen moment texting him so i can rebuy at a 200€ live event)

AND he was like FABIAN WTF are you doing in czech republic???

.Actually i made day 2 of that event and Lost JJ<1010 for 100bb + 4x AVG with 100 Left. With a ****in jack on the river to give my opponent a runner runner straight. Havent thought about that hand in a longtime.

Shoutout to the Grifty Gamblers — the best strategy groups Ive ever been part of. Some crushers in there are still active today, and their way of deep diving into the game was a huge influence on me. Denssi formally known as tsunguntai probably the guy who helped me the most in my poker journey - really appreciate you bro!

Longterm goals:
[ ]Winning a major title (WSOP,WSOPC,Scoop,WCOOP..)
[ ]Getting a sponsorship to promote a good site like partypoker ;-)
[ X] complete self awarness and control through the mental improvement
[ ]Winning player in 200€ abi and in Major events vs the best
[ X] Beeing a part and contributing to a good pokernetwork

Shortterm goals:
[X ] Getting a poker coach
[ ] Getting a mindset coach
[X ] Find a study group with similiar goals
[X ] Meditate every day -> not everday but i warm up befored every grind backthan i did cooldowns aswell
[ ] 5 Playing days minimum/week -> back than i did that

[ ] Stream a deeprun once a week -> as of 2 weeks ago i started my stream, binked on 2nd stream nicely already :-)

https://www.twitch.tv/thesunrunningtv

Twitch

TheSunrunningTv - Twitch

2022 – Healing Year

I barely played in 2022 probably the lowest volume of all my years.
But after taking ~4,5 months off, the joy returned.
I got back into study mode, thanks to soft fields on Partypoker, and started slowly rebuilding a small bankroll with some Sunday sessions.

I also did another poker masterclass, and deep-dived into mental game work:

Elliot Roes A-Game Masterclass

BBZ’s Mental Game Program

To this day, one of my biggest leaks is overhyping myself when things go well and doubting everything after a losing week. I now do a lot of journaling to reflect and catch these thoughts early. Mental game routines became crucial and helped me build a more resilient approach for the future.

This graph reminded me:
If you're doing the right things, downswings will always end.
You just have to keep pushing, keep learning, and your graph will turn around. its just a period.

If you never took the time to study your game properly, you are leaving so much potential on the table. Trust yourself, get the right guidance, and attack it with everything you’ve got. I did maybe 40% of that in 2023 but i was around when variance hit.. coming true to my name I have a story for you that ill share on another day from 2023

2023 – The Craziest Chapter Yet: From Rock Bottom to ???

Well, at least it didn’t take me another four years to write the next post — I’ll take that as a good sign for the future.

A Year That Wasn’t Supposed to Be About Poker… Until It Was
2023 started off with me working back 50 hours in my finance job.
Even though the fire for poker had started to burn again, I didn’t touch the tables for months.
Instead, I was binging poker content — not just study material, but all kinds of high-stakes coverage, deep runs, interviews. Anything to reconnect with the game I love.

Ironically, even though it was one of my most “successful” years on paper in the insurance business — I had my best months ever, closed my biggest investment deal with a client — it didn't fulfill me.
At all.

In Germany, working in finance and insurance is heavily commission-based. So while there’s technically no ceiling, working your ass off only makes sense if it aligns with your personal goals. And for me, the biggest reward wasn’t the money — it was time.

Time to Live a Little
Time to spend with my fiance (now wife!) — I proposed to her in the south of France, and it’s still one of the best moments of my life. And by far my luckiest one outer approached her back in 2014 in a public train with a super questionable pickupline "My mother once told me: the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and I can see you are the right one"

Time with my family, on vacation in Malta.
Time for what’s probably my second favorite hobby after poker: really nice premium beers (-EV leak, but I just can’t help myself sometimes).

But, as you can imagine:

Holidays, an engagement ring, not going all-in 50 hours on the job, and being a bit too generous with the "life EV" decisions… doesn’t exactly buy you financial freedom or let you just deposit 5k as a new bankroll.

The Comeback Blueprint: Play the stakes you beat and can afford!

200 euro bankroll is where we start. Luckily variance isnt such a bitch in 5 dollar mtts low avg field size. 2nd week Sattied into the big 16,50 in the 2nd week and chopped it HU for 1k. Really did play the low stuff.

It’s funny looking at the old Excel sheets now.

Back then, just seeing three FTs in one day— the Daily 6-Max $22, Big $3.30, Turbo $5, and $5.50 6-Max Deep — must have felt like a mini sunrun.

But one thing I had promised myself:

Not a single euro from my paycheck goes into poker again.

Not with a very expensive wedding coming up in 2024.
Not when we really needed a new car.
I was done mixing life bankroll and poker bankroll.

Disciplined Volume & Micro-Grinding
I stuck to it — the most disciplined version of myself I’ve ever seen, minus the occasional -EV $5 Spin when I got the itch.

With small-field MTTs on PartyPoker and a small field morning schedule (thanks to client meetings being mostly in the evening), I slowly but steadily grinded up to a ~€4k bankroll.

It felt good. Controlled. Sustainable. Like I had finally found my lane.

SCOOP 2023: Hope, Hype & Reality

Then came SCOOP 2023, and with my momentum and recent success, I was fired up to finally put in some volume again.

May tends to be quieter at work, so I scheduled time to grind.
Not crazy volume, but enough to give myself a fair shot.

I had never had a winning SCOOP before, but this time felt different:

I had been studying regularly.

I went through Pads on Pads course.

I was ready to battle the best (in the low stakes :p).
And i had some momentum right??

Skipped all the big stuff — I just wanted to play quality $55s. Tournaments where I could still dream big, but not punt the bankroll.

My Rail for SCOOP: Unexpected but Epic
The support for this one was different.

The new partner of my wifes sister instantly took 30% of my action.

My in-laws took another 5%.

And Grohnaldo — one of my closest poker friends, who I met through a “Find a Ride to King's Casino Facebook group — snapped up 5% as well.

It felt good to have people believing in me — even if it added a little pressure.

The Result? A Beautiful Mess
Honestly… I played my best SCOOP ever.

The competition in the $55s was way softer than the $109s I used to punt.

But still — the results didn't come.

-50% ROI

No real deep runs, except bubbling a final table in an $11 PLO (which wasn’t even staked… and full transparency: I still have no idea what I’m doing in PLO).

The total damage wasn’t tragic:

$2k in buy-ins

$1k in cashes

For me personally loss wasnt to bad, I held 60% of my own action → only lost ~$600

Still, it stung.
I felt a bit deflated, not realizing back then how sick the variance is in massive fields. And making the family lose money too now 🙄

And of course… on social media, all you see is winners.
You start questioning yourself: “What am I doing wrong?”

Resetting. Recharging. Rebuilding.
So I went back to what worked.
Morning schedule. Small fields. Confidence.

And the results came quickly — I made the money back in no time.

Then I took all of July off to enjoy summer.
Cashed out €2.5k from the roll to buy our wedding rings.
And when autumn came around, I started back up at low stakes again — no ego, no rush.

WCOOP? Didn’t Happen.
I only played two Sundays of WCOOP and managed to lose ~€500.
Life was busy. Wedding planning was real. And to be honest, I was okay with it.

Another 5x Bankroll Moment

After all the ups and downs, the bankroll swings, the strict discipline and resets — this is the moment that finally rewarded the study effort.

It started with a $2.20 Phase for the Sunday Party PKO. I think the structure was new at the time, and I just registered it without much thought. Ran up a huge stack early, and then satellited into the $109 Main without any hassle. Which, to be honest, felt really nice to play a big one again. I hadnt been playing these buy-ins for a while — but the prep was there. Thanks to my routines, especially using Primed Mind, I was calm and present. No pressure. I was just enjoying the process.

Once we hit the money, I started to sunrun. Approaching the last 16 Day 2 Bubble i was just a shot away from making a big day 2. I stayed short most of the time, but the ladders just kept falling into my lap. A massive chip whale was busting every reg left and right, and I somehow just kept surviving. Then came Day 2 — final 16. I was lucky enough to be one of them.

I remember opening up Sharkscope and studying everyone still in. I made some notes, put a little strategy together, and felt this weird sense of clarity. Like for once, I wasn’t overthinking it — I was just there, in the moment, ready to take my shot.

At the final table, nothing flashy happened. I stayed short, let the chaos play out, and kept climbing. The chip leader continued destroying the table, knocking out all the strong players, and suddenly we were down to three. I was massively behind in chips, but I wasn’t rattled. I told myself: just find your spots.

And then it happened — I doubled once against the whale… then again… and again. Suddenly, I was heads-up, still behind, but within striking distance. And for some reason, I felt confident. Really confident. Even though my opponent was almost certainly more experienced than me, I believed I could outplay him in the spots that mattered. From 2 to 1 chip disadvantage to beeing even after a massive x/R all in river bluff getting a max time bank fold..

Then came the biggest suckout of my poker life so far: AQ < AK for 40bb. Queen on the turn. Bink.

After the score a really good local beer was well earned.

I ended up taking most of the money and putting it straight into our wedding fund. No fancy shot-taking, no dramatic move up in stakes — I just treated it as what it was: a very lucky bink at the right time. Something to be grateful for, not something to build delusions around. I kept the grind low, life steady, and the priorities clear. Well so easy to say that now, back than I did treat myself to a 500€ turkey last minute vacation with a good friend.

But that year wasn’t over yet...

Let’s just say… poker had one more surprise in store for me.