Name: (AUS) – Variance, Mental Game (Tilt) & Victory: My Poker Journey

Post 2: how do I tilt? and smart goals what are they? & how will they help?

Intro to the post:

So the main reason I started this personal blog and well my biggest leak, tilt management/ the mental game. It’s something ive spent hours trying to correct, learn or better understand. It’s an area I can give great advice on but can never seem to personally take any of that advice onboard. So its probably best to identify what makes me tilt how do I tilt and what smart goals will do to help.

Tilt- the how the why and the effect:

How do I tilt is split into the physical and the mentally, on some days the physical doesn’t occur which im grateful for but after many accumulative bad sessions it usually ends in a 15min snap of me physically punting stacks at 5/10 PLO5 or 6 trying to get unstuck. The mental tilt is constant though. Its a lot of I cant win anymore, I cant beat the games, I have to quit as im no good and its vicious cycle that leaves me sleepless at night some times. This leads to less volume, time off and tbh me just running away from the problem.

This has probably lead to my 25k downswing being 25k instead of 15-20k. All because I cant regulate what is good from the variance and all the other mental baggage etc. I also think a lot of this comes down to how I view success and track success in poker.

Goals, how they have previously impact and the new view that will hopefully help:

The mental book of poker advocates for understanding your goals and what success looks like. I have struggled with what success looks like for poker for years. TBH I truly do not know what success is anymore for me. For a long time my goals was to win a certain amount each year and progressively increase that amount. Problem is the result is so often out of your control especially when you focus on MTTs.
So for the 1st time ive decided to use a Smart goal approach for the year. I have experience with smart goals in my daily work life. As a team leader for an insurance company, I use the smart goal system to help my fellow team members become the best they can in a professional setting.

For those that don’t know what smart goals they are the following:
S=Specific, M=Measurable, A=Achievable, R= realistic & T= Timely.

The goals are below and please leave feedback on them! (please note as I have a job some of this volume will seem low to you but allows for me to have a work life balance).

Mindset goal:
Specific goal- don’t change the below process until enough data has been achieved (I often switch plan with 3 different strategies over the past 8 weeks for how to tackle this year).
Measurable- In how long we stick to the below process
Achievable- by sticking to the plan/process outlined in the goals below
Realistic- yes as its following a process
Timely- Evaluate the process after x amount of MTTs and x amount of sessions and see if it is working for me.

Study Goal:
Specific- Look to study 20hrs a month (focusing on these 3 topics BB/SB defending, ICM & NLH cash spots)
Measurable- in how many hours we are study
Achievable- yes works out to be 40 mins a day roughly.
Realistic – yes because we can set time aside to study each day or make up time on free days.
Timely- can be timed over a monthly period each month.

Play time goals:
Specific (live mtts) – Play 50 MTTs this year (roughly my average in 12months).
Specific (online mtts) – play 16 online MTTs a month in my current home game.
Specific (online/live cash) – 20hrs a month of cash focusing on NLH or Lower stakes PLO6 as soft.
Measurable - yes each goal can be tracked over a month or year.
Achievable- Yes all volume allows for a work life balance and time to grind as well
Realistic- Yes each goal can be easily fitted into our daily life routine throughout the year.
Timely – can be tracked easily over a set time frame.


How will this help?

In short having goals that take away the result and allow us to focus on building a process to achieve a successful year in poker allow for the pressure of tilt to be lifted. Is it a bad day yes but who cares we achieved another session towards our goal.
It also keeps us accountable for putting in enough volume or studying enough each month to improve the game.

If you enjoyed this post leave a comment below & try leave a Smart goal that you’ll follow below.

GL! Following.

Hey mate, Thanks for Following! Hopefully you enjoy the Journey

Hey team, So now we got the above foundational work around the why for the blog my current goals etc, its time to start going to the more daily poker journal that your all here for,

I am using this as a bit of a cool down exercise post sessions and will try to update as often as possible (life does get busy) So im going to quickly recap:
- my 1st live event of the year on 8th and 9th of March (yes we made a day 2)
- how this week has gone Mon Tues and Wed
- And sorta what a schedule will look like.

From then onwards ill try and update after each session or couple of sessions etc.

1st live event

- Simply put it felt amazing to play live! Usually i have a series or 2 under my belt, but i tried to stick to just playing online till Lex Live 4 to increase hands i see and study spots, I found this to be quite annoying and a drag as I do love the social aspect of going to play live MTTs or cash. With this said I put two bullets into the main event and made day 2 with 30bb for Sunday. Unfortunately result wise i was 43/73 going into day 2 with ITM @ 25 and i finished 58th (approx.). How I played gave me alot of confidence as i went more exploitive than normal and found myself picking up alot more than I usually do in the live setting. I usually go very towards this is GTO and if things don't make sense in theory try to over think and analyze. By making things more exploitive i found a lot of spots where I was able to execute the game plan i want.
Our Bust out hand had some context to it. I had a player on my right who is a live reg but not a good one, with obvs sizing tells etc. In the last two orbits he would open button to 2-2.5x and from previous play with this OPP this is his weaker holdings. With strong holdings he makes it 4-4.5x. With this said both orbits i 3bet 44 of 25bb and JTs of 28bb vs this Opp and took both down (both aren't 3bets in theory and 44 prefers a jam than a 3bet but im exploiting).
Our bust out hand he is in MP and opens to 4.2x and We look at AKo..... Folding isn't an option and i think flatting of 30bb is a mistake here with others to act.
- I Like both A) 3bet to 10bb and vs a jam find a very exploitive fold vs a super nutted range or B) Jam for 30bb- We block AA and KK and likely flipping vs a call (if he has AA or KK sick cooler gg) or and we also have fold equity if he folds... I take option B- After a 4.5min tank and him asking 2x if we show if he folds he calls of with QQ and holds.
I like our jam vs this player Opp who nearly folded QQ but i will say i don't mind 10bb fold to 4bet jam and still have 20bb in the mtt with less than 60 left.

Monday Session:
Like most of the week Monday wasn't a full session, I spent 1hr playing cash on X-poker 2/4 and made 3 buy ins- ran pretty hot including flopping a set of 3s in a 3bet pot very early on and then being gifted chips- I however busted all 3 of my MTTs pretty early in the night and felt slightly annoyed by the end of it with how the online mtts went. Luckly I had my GF with me who reminded me of my smarter goals and that was just some volume towards my goal.

Tuesday Session:
went the exact same, 2x mtts 2x busts early, however made 3x buyin's at 2/4 cash on X-poker. This time i made in theory what i think is a bad call with QJs on 76T Q 4 with no flush available.
full hand detail:
Hero (QdJd) Btn- fold to CO limp, Hero 4,5bb BB and CO call
6t7r flop - X X X
turn Q- x X 70% pot CO call, River 4
X Hero 70% pot, Villian 2.5x Jam for 600 eff, Tank call
Villian had a spewing label and we went with a read and he had Kd8d and we are good, i hate our hand in theory but vs this Opp it is fine!.

Wednesday Session:
GF had a bad day at work and i love being the supportive BF so i took the evening off to cater to her needs as its important to understand life comes 1st before the grind.
I was able to put in 40min of cash before her arrival and managed again to sun run to just under a 3 buy in win at 2/4.
I was lucky this time as i backed into a straight with 33 vs KK on K67 4 5 and Villain called a 1,5 SPR jam on the river as he should as how often do i have a straight here apart from 99.

In short, good week cash, not so much with the mtts but playing well and finding these notes really do help!

Thanks for reading, leave a comment about these rough hands as well (i usually post all big hand histories as they happen on DAMMO_23 on insta just in case you want the visual)

See you all after i play a live $200 mtt here in Adelaide Tonight. Moving forward my schedule is mostly online but i do have a live series starting end of march that ill be recaping in this vlog.

Have a good one- DAMMO_23.

by Pileupthecoins m

https://www.pokernews.com/news/2024/07/damiano-aloi-crowned-lex-live-main-event-champion-46580.htm

pokernews

Damiano Aloi Crowned Lex Live Main Event Champion; Community Members Take Top Three Spots

Thats me! <3

Thursday

Initial thoughts
Bad Session over all, 62 Runners finished 21st for $0, 3 bullets total...... in a $200 MTT.......
1st bullet I wasted, 2nd Bullet was just annoying and 3rd bullet I actually played well but yet again like it has been for about 6 months I've found a big spot with a big hand and ran into it.
Also played a $33 Horse on my iPad and well went from 2/8 on the ft top 4 paid to out in 7th....................
So results no good! Mental side of the game, look tbh no good either.

Bullet 1 and the Horse MTT
It started off well, won a few small spots and gathered my stack up 13k from SS early on, Felt in the groove and ready to battle. I was in the flow in Horse as well, and I looked likely to at least cash that mtt, Then the 5mins of madness that I think was caused from playing a live mtt whilst trying to concentrate on a horse mtt with changing games and dynamics.
Game must of moved from Razz to stud, (every mix game player has been there) and I didn't notice as i was in a 3bet pot in my live mtt, by the time i knew what was happening it was 6 street and I've piled in over half my stack vs the guy 3rd in chips..... - While this happened I chose on a light 3bet vs a fish and I don't think I was 100% thinking about my live hand while trying to work out what to do in this Horse hand on the IPAD- In the end I Punted of 55bb live because i wasn't thinking.
If you want the exact hand and line comment below happy to share, already roasted myself on INSTA for it.
So busted the live mtt, i waited to rebuy while in the horse which lasted another 10mins and 1x big spot and 1x okay stack both gone in really 1 big moment of madness.

Bullet 2 and Bullet 3
I was only intending of putting in two bullets and MLR the 2nd however it was early and 30bb thought i could spin, A level went by before we busted with QT on QT7 turn A vs a UTG limper and couple of calls, We bet flop got a call, and on the Turn with SPR of 1 jammed into the UTG limp call with KJo.... Games are soft people.
Bullet 3 we MLR, Found AK of 15bb and doubled vs a Q4s jam Blind vs Blind. Before again of 20bb with 21 left, Woke up with AKs utg+1 - 2x, mp raises to 4x snap min click 3bet and the SB decided on a flat, Obvs and easy jam for 21bb and MP has KK, (SB some how calls 44 here....) - Dont win on QT6 flop to give us more outs.... Havent won one of these spots or a big flips in live or online deep in a mtt for a while...

So key take aways and learning points/reframing

-1st point is to do this straight after the session as a cool down- I got lazy said ill do it in the morning with my coffee and yet again had a sleepless night of thinking about mistakes that im closer to a 30k downswing then where i was after lex live and just wasn't a nice mental night. I feel if im using this Blog as a cool down method it has to be straight after the session.
(reframing- I now know the power of a post game and will drive to do better moving forward).

- 2nd Point - I am unable to multi table with live whilst being present enough to understand the game dynamic and pick up on cues/ game flow live. (Re-framing, if playing live thats not a time to grind online as well, sink your focus into trying to play live)

-3rd Point- Detach from the Bankroll and the downswing and just focus on the next mtt, I have this urge to try and get back to over 100k in profit as soon as possible but i know that's not possible, I have an issue with this as all i see is my results every time i open my tracking app. (Re frame by- focus on the volume and the SMART goals not the results, yes you see them but is it the end result? (no) are you still profitable? (yes), are you only down 3k this year and you can easily work back to profit with the right volume? (yes).

Actions for the next session

- To do a post game straight after the session, its just as important as the pre game cold shower we take before every session.
- Hire a coach (already in talks with one)! I've studied and self trained for long enough its time for outside help to progress the game and get an outside view on how good or how bad i truly am.
- Commit to what your playing and focus 100% on this- Also includes limited phone use which i have a bad habit of in-between hands when things aren't going well. (Live)

Hope you enjoyed! I apologies for all these long posts I just seem to get the keyboard and write away haha! If you want the hand I Busted out and bluffed off let me know.
Have a good day or night, leave a comment below for support & Next session is either tonight post work (thinking its online) or it will be next week.

Friday -Post 5!

So changed up the volume type today. After an annoying day yesterday decided to have a bit more fun with the grind today while working from home

GG Poker $25 Battle Royales

Decided to play $25 Mystery Battle Royales on GG- I used to Grind the Old school $10 30man back last year to some success.
I will say I don't believe the current Mystery format is long term profitable due to the variance that the Mystery Bounties provide, & the fact its a top 3 ITM structure.
However they are fun enjoyable and since I'm moving away from playing on GG thought lets have fun.
played 19x $25 mans with 3x wins 1x 2nd (2x $6 KO without a top 3). one of the wins was for $400+ as well!
That means once converting from USD to aud $790+ session over a few hours!. I don't really care about the GG balance after withdrawing a large chunk at the end of Feb. But Nice to Run it it up a bit.

X-poker (usually grind)

Played 1x MTT got KK in vs A5s in a 4bet pre pot for 35bb and well didn't win on a K high flop haha happens!
Played cash only 45mins though and well made another 50bb in that time at 2/4- I will say the room i play in is in MYR so that's only like $70 bucks but good Hourly rate!
Felt in the zone and feel the NLH cash game skills are improving the more volume I put in.

Its the GF and Is 11 month tomorrow so no nightly MTT live or online grind as ive invited her to watch the AFL and stay over. Also going out for lunch tomorrow and usually Im with my friends Sat night. On Sunday I am at the AFL followed by the F1 Aus GP and MAFS (yes i watch MAFS). So likely this was my last session of the week.

Relating To the goals

Live MTTs played: 2/50 (year)
Online MTTs Played: 5/16(month)
Cash Hours played: 4.3/20hrs (month)
Study Hours: 3/20hr(month)

how do you play on GG poker in australia? What other sites do u play on? I only play on ignition. i got a gg account but its from a different country where i signed up.

u watch married at first sight? is it ****?

ya can't make a living playing live mtts. Can ya make a living playing live cash even in australia with the high rakes? Or do you have to play underground games and online?

Hey mate to the 1st question- Message me on insta for the GG side of things. I agent on X-poker for the Cash games that I play in and I've dabbled in Iggy but not for a long time. 7+ years had an issue trying to withdraw after shipping a Sunday mtt for 3k. I also play in a home game on another site as well.

I do watch Married at 1st Sight! and well it ain't Sh**!!! Love the drama, its so silly, honestly its a nice funny drama field time at how silly the show is. The GF and I love it 😀

Ya can’t make a living playing live MTTs

I do think this is incorrect as I know quite a lot of people who do make a living playing live MTTs. It just takes a lot of volume and time to grind a profitable year. Also you do need to have some variance go your way in the big spots. Defiantly possible to be a full time live mtt player in AUS, it’s not my goal to do this anymore as in getting probably a little old to follow this pipe line dream & I have a good paying job with a great GF so it doesn't make sense for me to play 52 weeks of the year traveling around. Plus you need a huge bankroll to withstand the swings.

Can ya make a living playing live cash even in Aus even with the High rake-

Again i know regs that have got a very good win rate playing 2/2 2/5 5/10 live that are making a living playing live. Yes the rake is an issue in Aus however because the games are that soft you can with good strategy and skill make more than 20BB and hour comfortably. My biggest leak is I probably don’t play enough live cash due to how soft it is. I will say this yet again requires a lot of time and effort to be this good and to crush the games consistently.

Do you have to play underground games and online?

I’m going to answer this based on the advice one of the above regs gave me and it stuck with me and changed my approach to poker for this year.

Live MTTs are difficult to make a living (not impossible) due to the variance and how much it costs to do this full time and sometimes its long stretches without reward.

Live Cash is a solid way to make a living full time but you have to grind your way up to the 5/10 stakes to start making a good living after all the rake is introduced.

Online MTTs are the hardest of the lot! On GG for example there are so many regs the $20 fields are harder than the 1.5k Jackstar MTTs. So to make a living just playing online mtts is slime to no chance. You have to be in the top 1% of the field to crush enough to win consistently. This is Super hard to do so your Hr win rate is very small and not worth the time.

Online cash- Rake on the reputable sites is just insane so again with edge being smaller on online cash (especially rush/zoom) to be profitable you are forced to go to the APPs and the underground online cash games to earn a decent living. These games are super soft, profitable but you have to deal with more variance and swings due to the nature of it.

So what's the answer to all the above, to be consistent and make a living the advice given to me was, You should Grind your online APPs and underground cash, with a good mix of Live cash especially if your rolled to play 5/10.
This way your getting in good volume in soft games and yes the rake is high but because they are so soft they are beatable.

You then should only play live MTTs during the big series or just the big events to see if you can bink a nice score along the year (i do agree with this but I’ll still be playing more live mtts than this as i just think they are super soft). And Last online MTTs avoid them unless it’s a series and your prepared to go on 100-200 downswing even if your ITM% is 15% + because it’s all down to how much you top 3 in that 15%.
I will note the online app based MTTs are just super soft and have smaller fields with less variance and are probably worth firing more than the reputable site mtts because of this.

Long story short, we shouldn't be looking to play one format and sticking to it. It’s about the balance of all the formats and game selection to give you the biggest chance of a profitable year.

So what about me?

For me I'm trying to play more cash to supplement my MTTs and hopefully Bink a couple throughout the year in the live setting. I’ll be playing my app based MTTs as well due to the lower fields and less variance than gg. I will occasionally put in the GG 18 man $25 Mystery's as they are fun and a decent training tool for sub 30bb play live.

Hopefully this answers the above questions, great questions as well keep them coming!

Do you think $50-$100 mtts are beatable? Live mtts in australia.

Yes they are, this price point is like $2 on gg- it’s soft as - just need some luck in a few flips and good strategy with some exploits and you’ll win.

Problem is the $50-$100 price points mtts don’t run often- they are usually self dealt pub games which isn’t the best place to play your poker. Plus self dealt is yuck!

I’ll fire these type of games during APL millions due to the inflated prizepool but that’s it

$150-$550 weekly mtts are just as soft (close to) and are dealer dealt and this is what I would focus on

New Week- The Plan for the volume (lll try do these each week).

Well today marks a new week and thought ill share quickly what I think I am playing this week for volume.
(please note when I plan my week out its all relative to work the gf and other life stuff).

Monday is either A) - Come home from work grind $25 GG mystery's 2x home game MTTs 1x X-poker MTT and some Online cash.
This however could be changed as I am hopefully that my live coach that I'm in talks with can do our 1st session tonight.

Tuesday- I may try the $300 10k GTD at the Matchroom- seen some 3k+ Payouts and its super soft, however with a live series around the corner there are 2x train of thoughts,
A) Play cash/win more buy ins for the live series or B) Play bust could put in 3 bullets and dent confidence before the live series.... Which one would you go with?

Wed- Usually and off day for me and I don't see myself playing on Tuesday.

Thursday- The $200 5k GTD (seems it will get 10k every week or close to) at stacked poker- this will be the weekly live mtt.

Friday- Again either its a home session of a couple of MTTs and some online cash or could be our 1st live cash session since we started the blog. (could also be a night off with the footy or another opp for a coaching session and then a night off).

Saturday - usually and off day for myself and I do plan on watching my GFs son play his 1st game of Football (soccer) this year.

Sunday- depends on where i sleep on sat night, if at home it will be a Sunday morning online and GG $25 Mystery grind. If i stay at my GFs another day off.

What would you do with the schedule? Would you play 2x live MTTs a week? have over a $50k BR so 100 buyins x 300 is 30k so probably makes sense to play the weekly $300 and $200 but unsure if that's a good choice of game selection with how much variance is with MTTs.

Lastly think my biggest leak is not having solid schedule and sticking to it. Let me know your thoughts? what does your volume look like this week or weekly? Like Rate all that Jazz
see you after todays session or coaching session.

Fri and sat nights you should be getting drunk with ya mates at a local tavern then getting a taxi to a strip joint and getting booted out for being to drunk. not doing this and watching married at first sight is ur biggest leak.

Hahah Never been much of the party type myself, every sat night me and my friends since high school (few since primary school 1 since kindy) go out to eat dinner and go back to someone's hows to watch AFL and EPL. Safer and allows for the occasional sat night grind on the ipad which they sweat.

This mentality in your post is probably a big leak for most players but i do agree nights off are good!

Monday Session

Side note- positive is I am doing this straight after my session after having a losing day, so this is already a better cool down positive then previous posts/sessions (important to note progression on the mental game).

Volume wise - X-Poker cash

So not a good day at the 2/4 tables- Lost a buy in and a bit at 2/4. The result and loss doesn't concern me what does is how we lost the buyin with our mental game. The leak was playing whilst at work on our lunch break in the office. I’ll explain why I do this then leave it you guys below to comment on what I should do moving forward.

So why do I play on my 40min lunch break and whilst I’m back at my desk if needs be to finish of a cash session- A) Volume, may sound funny but that volume could be difference to getting 2-3hrs of play in on some days then not getting enough play in, think then the answer becomes quality or quantity and decision has to be made on this
B)- I play because I think in those 40mins I can still play my best and I can be profitable- this is proven by a couple of last week results where I did play whilst at work and made a few buyins.

Why I think it’s a leak- If I don’t start well or I don’t get ahead of my start stack to call time on for my 20min count down, I feel forced to increase action/variance in marginal spots to make the 45mins on my phone worth my time. This is a mental leak as A) it could be hate losing tilt and defiantly affects my mood for the afternoon and wanting to grind after work. B) It also allows for sub optimal play to occur which increase the chances of mistakes and thus losing.

So what’s better, no volume which could lead to not enough volume being played (cash wise) and thus not completing the goal. (And could be leaving money on the table)
Or play once we done a pre-game you’re ready to play and have time to play so it doesn’t matter if you start bad.

(I’m personally leaning towards using this time to study if I want to do something poker related but i always feel in the back of my mine this time should be spent grinding to improve and increase win rate).

X-Poker MTT and Home Game MTT

The X-poker MTT was 100% affected from me mentally not being 100% in the mood to play and being angry at myself for playing while at work and not focusing on what I needed to do today.
As a result i put two bullets into a $12 mtt and was busted within half hour. Just forcing action making mistakes etc...

The home game I played this evening while on stream and was a complete turnaround- I didn’t cash I came 8/21 with top 5 being paid- I played very solid found a lot of spots and got unlucky in a couple that lead to the non-cashing. I was happy with the turn around and I’ll explain more how I turn this around later in the post.

$25 18man Battle Royales

It was a solid 3hr session of 18man Battle royales. It led to 2x sessions in a row of booking a win since moving back to playing this format and viewing it more as a study tool than it could be profitable long term. I played 14 SNGs cashed 3 and of those 3 I won all 3 for a small $200_+ win. - This is now two sessions of above 21% ITM and I now avg a 4.8 out of 9 on the Final table (top 3 paid + PKO). If I was to set a goal for these it would be to try and keep an above 20% ITM rate and try to get my finish avg to 4.5 or better. This will lead to more chances of higher bounties being pulled and thus increasing the win rate further. This will also help with final table ICM study spots as well which could come in handy in the live arena when stacks are so shallow on live final tables.

So how did I turn my day around?

Simply put I actually did some obscure study whilst I was finished with my work today before driving home to play my session. I have an obsession with sports science (did 2 years at uni) and I believe there has to be an impact to listening to music while you play. I have always been a hard style man for hour’s straight headphone on or speaker on during my sessions.

So I decided to read a case study and make some notes:
In short Novice and Intermediate players are prone to have improved concentration and performance with slow up beating lifting music. (increasing arousal levels and focus).
While advance/ long term player’s actual see a drop with music as it pulls attention from their cognitive brain. (due to to much brain active or over/under stimulated with arousal levels).

I was stunned and when playing live ill be look to spend more time with no music then playing with music.

I will however say that if you want to listen to music the best type of music is anything that doesn’t have lyrics and is used for calming, anxiety or meditation purposes as it will relax your brain and will aid clear thoughtful thinking.

This study really gave me some things to think about (when to use music and not to use it) and well it got my mental state back on track and allowed me to be motivated for my evening session. This is the sole reason i turned it around tonight to have a very slight ($78) losing day then a massive losing day.

Interested to know your thoughts and ill link the case study below if you want to read.

Any Questions or thoughts on the way these post are done would be helpful! have a great one day/night!
(remember to leave a Like or Rate for the Blog as well)!

https://mjir.um.edu.my/index.php/tiraipa...

(link to case study I used earlier today).

I would rather listen to a sports channel like kayo sports, Optus sports, stan sports etc and keep up to date with the latest sports for sports betting. Also listening to the horses or dogs can be good 2 to find +EV bets. Also buy lotto so play re-runs of lotto draws.

Haha sounding like a true grinder lol

Tuesday

Well it’s the morning after so again the cool down period was missed; it was a late night so a little slack given however it needs to be done straight away.

I played the $300 at the Matchroom and to be honest I played pretty shocking I feel and some obvs leaks are showing in the live game.
Some people will say that there is no difference between Live and online it’s all the same. I disagree you need to find some discipline more vamos like folds live because it’s a different ball game especially when you have a stack. (Maybe being to risk adverse and annoyed but yeah)!

Over all ill split this into 1st bullet and 2nd bullet as I did need 2 and i finished 18/50 with top 7 itm so again if we look at it we were in a position to cash/win again if we just won some hands but honestly I think this is the one that got away.

1st bullet

I tired the no music approach as per the above case study and found myself spacing out, paying attention to the TVs in the background etc. instead of getting into the flow, table talk just really annoyed me. In the end I go my 50k SS up to 80k and made a huge blunder which ill out line belo

blinds are 400/800 (800)
Hero UTG AcQd
Pre flop: Min raises to 2k (2,5)bb. MP and CO call
Btn a Player who I bluffed off a pot earlier and perceive as tight decided to make it 11K (13.75) BB

What do you do?? - In Theory we call or fold as a mix, explotively vs some really argo regs this performs okay as a 4bet bluff jam as we block the really strong part of the range
Vs this opp it’s a slam dunk easy fold. I initially was just going to snap fold then talked myself into the I can make him fold with a Jam Bullshit- which once he puts in 13bb he is gonna call of for 38bb total..... - So yeah we jam get snapped by AK - and another live bullet needed because of stupidity and a bad bluff that will never work.

I ended up folding down to 19bb before i see 66 in the bb raise of 3x utg+1 3 calls we wack and the UTG+1 has 77 and GG.

Bullet 2 the Pain of too much study??

Bullet 2 started off insanely well, scooped a 20bb pot 1st hand, from there inside 20mins went for 50k to 180k - made 2x full houses played them very well and got paid in both spots!
Then this hand another mistake happens. blinds are 1.5/3k- Folds to me SB make it 8.2k with AQo - I normally play limp vs most opps to trap and go post- however our BB villain is a tight old guy who I've only seen bigish hand raised and just flats or folds pre if not something strong (the read anyway he gets out of line later so it’s not as solid as i thought),
He gives me a speech about I should give him a walk and I’m winning to many hands before he looks down - He looks at his cards then ship for 94k..... (31bb)

What do you do? - you have AQo- you went with a larger sizing pre sb vs bb in theory he is just attacking right and you have to call??? - He should just 3bet AA KK QQ JJ etc.
I snapped- Big mistake, vs this player type who doesn't study and is tight again it’s going to not be theoretical just there hand is nutted you fold.
But again i can’t differentiate from live and online and snap as imp at the top of range. He has KK we lose a massive over 60bb pot.
You May think this is myself being too tough- but once imp at 180k at 1.5/3k in this field i should final table a lot and win a fair chunk if i think I’m good
Problem is I’m not good I’m a live fish; these are folds, if you have discipline understand the dynamic and there is no bluff- **** great players are somehow going to find a fold with TT here or Ako even..... So again I punt of my stack like the 1st bullet above because I'm incapable of making a good lay down, again to much inside your head thinking of ranges and theory, ITS JUST ****ING BULLSHIT EGOTISIC THINKING!!!- I SUCK AND I KNOW IT!

Anyhow drop to 100k make a set of 9s get paid end late rego with 195k at blinds 2/4k
Post break I played 8 hands and lost all 8 hands......
Failed to find a theoretical correct bluff with J9 on AAJTK where my hand should bluff Jam River...
I Raise 88 to 2bb got jammed on for 9bb and a reg flatted who can flat traps- call to find an 8 A23 flop- Fold to cbet AJ vs A6......
Whiffed a few times then ANOTHER ****ING MISTAKE BROOO

I’m down to 130k 2/4k- I look down at KJo utg short-handed table is tight and i decide I can 2x here probably take it down just fold to 3bets...
BTN bad reg (FISH) wild player jams 14bb- I've just seen him jam QTo and lose and is he just trying to tilt off...

Again in theory this is never a call, it’s a snap fold but somehow the wizard of stupidly I am i find a call... How start telling myself oh future game if I win 18 left I have 40bb I can ship, if he is as wild and bad as i think is this ever KT K9 K8s??- I have to call right vs this player type? - JUST DUMB THINKING, FIND A ****ING EASY FOLD AND MOVE ALONG!!!
Instead he has A5o not a jam vs an utg open but he holds and yeah down to 12bb...

Get moved table 1st hand BB A7s a good reg opens to 4x???? late pos, in theory this is never a thing, AA KK QQ Etc. open to 2x- this is a reg he knows this, so probably just stealing or max pressure, so A7s performs great vs all his steals- This hand isn’t a mistake vs this size it’s a clear jam of 12bb.... the times he does fold its unreal and if call a lot of the time ahead.
Instead somehow after making it 4bb its AA????????????- GG 18th. Again i prove to myself I’m crap shocking and I can’t beat the live weekly games. All because I’m incapable of folding or finding some really standard but huge lay downs (both AQ hands).

In these spots when you have a huge stacks yes hunt yes apply pressure etc. but when you are starting face very big agro action I need to find bigger and better folds.

Any positives or was it all bad?

I found music in with slow beat/ anxiety calming etc., really but me in the zone 2nd bullet so I’m not changing that sticking by music which vie done for so long
When i was hit with the deck I made it count and found a pretty big stack.
I Know I’m **** and I’m sure I’ll start over folding and next min be showed randomly bluffs but I know now I am to agro and too much of a station to win at this game live.

Am I being too harsh on myself? I don’t think so, if the end goal is to make 20k-40k a year on top of my job I need to do better, be better etc./

Last point my GF thinks i just over think every spot. I study so much that it clouds judgement and that I’m trying to find the perfect decision every time, I don’t know how to feel about this?
Is studying bad? Is thinking about every spot bad?? - Maybe my thought process is too ****ed up because of this 26k downswing?

Questions for next time......

Lastly what about next time? - I don’t like doing it I have goals, but is this just a sign of burn out- I’ve played 556 hours of poker already this year (online and live) that’s 23 days, i work on top of that? Is this just me burning out not being able to play my A game for long enough? Let me know maybe I need a few weeks off but when you’re down 4k in 3 months 26k in 6 months nearly 9 months can you really afford to take time off??

A long rambley one! ty for reading, it’s not positive but its honest and well I probably the worst player positing in these forums so feel free to unsub!-

Wed Session

Wasn't planning on playing today and tbh wanted to take the rest of the week of after last night, however after the very brutally honest blog above and a cold shower mixed in with some calming music I decided on a 3 hour online session while working from home today.

This decision stemmed from finally feeling the ability to let yesterday go and just not focus on how much I am down this year, and the fact that this month is now into 4 figures down.
I just wanted to get into a session and grind my best and result will be what it will be.

18man Mystery SNGs

So, with working from home and not wanting to 1 table X-Poker cash (games don't run to much at 9am) decided just on a mystery Battle Royale grind.
I played 16 of them- I cashed 6 of them with 1x 3rd 2x 2nd and 3x 1st (also pulled a $250 bounty!).

Outside the monetary result I was very pleased with helping my monthly goals become achievable.
I made 10 final tables from 16 - if I look at my soft goals for the 18mans it’s to A) get my rush stage clearance to over 50% (at 49.42%), and B) average finish of 4.5/9 (at 4.62 and come down from 5). These results today really help increase these averages and highlight the work going into the game with ICM.
Also my other goal is ITM % of 20% in these 18mans and achieving this each month. Today was a 37% ITM day so again this session was really helpful in achieving this goal! (Overall ITM % this month = 16x ITM/63 total sngs X 100% = 23.80%)

During the session I felt in the zone and prepared to play my best and often found a dominating stack due to being in the correct spots and avoiding marginal spots. I feel this is down to A) doing the blog which acted as a warm-up, B) a Shower to mentally prepare for what is to come and C) the calming lo fi music allowed me to stay pretty present and calm during the 3hr session.

So moving forward what can I take from this session

- Look to study or maybe mentally blog my pre game thoughts before heading to live or to play an online session (this may increase posts here)
- not over think the process- music on, make sure its calming and relax and just let the game flow.
- Trust the process and know if the game is soft continued to play it, stick to your bankroll and continue on grinding away.

Conclusion

Great session felt really good to grind today. Always nice to be able to say to myself "I am capable when I want to be and I am able to crush these games."

Result wise, today sees me go over 2k + (AUD) ** (always convert to Aud) on this online site, which is great considering how bad the results were in Feb online.
It brings the monthly from 4 figures (just over 1k) to with $30 of a breakeven month.

I shouldn't be looking too much into the monetary result but it gives a good indicator when I stick a process and game type I can achieve the goals.
My smarter goal won’t change I still want to have live success and play some online tournaments but I have to seriously consider adapting in these 18mans to be part of the Smart goal process for the year.

Lastly I wanted to study today, but with the session and work was unable to find time and Girlfriend will be over later in the day after my next meeting, so this will mean no real study time today, I'm sure I can find time to study later this week. I think watching back todays VOD (as this was streamed) would be a good exercise to see what a calm prepared to grind DAMMO looked like.

Have a great one, thanks for reading! And please leave a reply regarding this post or probably more importantly the one above in relation to our bad live session!

Hey mate how are you enjoying it so far? any changes you would like to structure or content?

Thursday Session Pre -game

As promised/noted above here are some pre game thoughts before going to play the $200 deep stack at stacked social. (usually a 5k gtd but will get close to 10k gtd).

Thoughts are:

- Try and find these exploitive folds that was mentioned above - but how can we achieve this?

Simply put, the goal tonight is to try note every player at the table like I would with an online sessions. I cant give a green Tag or Red tag etc. What I can do is I can bring up my notes on my phone and I can note each player at the table, I can note them as "Do they study" or "do they not study."
This way in these spots with hands like AQ, if we label them as do not study and they don't have enough bluffs in there range we can just start over folding, we can also take some other lines to extract value or exploit in other ways. If they are labelled as "Do study" we can moved to a more GTO approach and exploit when needed etc.

I think the above exercise of labeling players live at the table will help me focus in more to the game awareness and look to clear the thought process more than it was on tuesday night at the Matchroom. I know poker bankroll tracker on iPhone has a player note system but I may trial with that at a later date. Lets keep it simple 1st and test this method.

- Staying present and focused, not letting to much future game/ poor mental game affect my thought process in tough spots.

This one is quite simple for me to fix, I've been trialing with and without music with live poker. I usually been listening to hardstyle when I play, however based on the case study and how the music allowed me to be in the flow state on wed, the fix here is to use calming anxiety reducing lo fi music to help remain present focused and allow for the A game to flow.
I think this will also help clear the thought process a lot and just allow for a stress free night of making your best decision and living with the result afterwards.

Conclusion

So these two areas are the focus with the view that they will both allow me to make better decisions, stay present and focused at the tables when playing live.

I actually feel ready to go and play after writing this which is cool but i still have 45mins till I leave, so note for next time is do this right before I go. To fill the time I could study and then blog before going.

Hope this post was a good read, hope your enjoying the blog.