Need help to stay sane with GG/N8 poker.

Hi all, I've been grinding 50nl rush on N8 for a few months now, and I can't shake the feeling I have on how the game might be rigged towards "losing players".

I don't wanna be the guy who blames on others for my bad beats but I really wanna check what's the likelihood of getting 1/2 outted or how much EV I'm actually realising on flips in a say 10k hand sample.

Does anyone know a way to do that? I can provide all my HH on N8. I have about 75k hands in the past 3months I can download, N8 doesn't provide any HH past 3 months time...

Thanks in advance.