Problems Making Good Choices
What do you do when you start out making good choices but eventually start making really bad choices within a week or a month?
For years now, since I stopped playing professionally and started working, two things have happened that have been terrible for my game.
The first is I am now way more attuned to the value of the money I'm winning or losing, so I sit at the table and start thinking things like, "That was a car payment," or "that was a really nice dinner with my spouse." For clarity, this is happening, winning or losing.
The second thing that happens, which is perplexing, is the complete apathy of doing the right thing. For instance, I will start to say, "Awe **** it, I want to see what this guy has."
These root issues, of course, lead to other problems. Eventually, I end up playing nearly every hand and seeing if I can either force action or bully people around. When I was playing for a living, and I had to take money out of my roll each month for rent and to eat, I was much more careful about what I was doing. Now I'm stuck in some odd pattern of tilt and seeming self-destruction.
I hate losing more than I enjoy this current path. So, typically, I will withdraw from the game for months or up to a year. I come back and can play well for a few weeks or maybe a month; then, I fall back into this odd, terrible path.
TLDR: How do I stop making bad choices and justifying them?
3 Replies
You need to think in terms of 'barriers'. If an addict is trying to quit, and the bag of coke is just right there in front of him, it's really difficult to turn down. But if he doesn't know anyone in this town and has to travel and take a chance on a guy he's never bought from, he's much more likely to stay in control. It sounds like you don't trust yourself to make good poker decisions at the moment. It sounds like you need a break, and to see a psychotherapist. It would be difficult to diagnose why you're doing these things when you know, which you do presumably at the time, you just don't care about that voice? that's how it plays out for me, anyway. The first step to stopping this action, to breaking this cycle, is to stop playing for a bit, otherwise you risk bad habits calcifying and it's even more difficult to break out of the cycle.
One reason you might be doing this is that this is a game that everyone enjoys, and yet we as professionals have to treat it professionally - i.e. it's no longer a source of entertainment for us, but it's work. When it stops being work, you have a chance to enjoy yourself. A part of your brain has confused enjoying yourself with doing fishy stuff, so you do fishy stuff. Perhaps it would help for you to realise that what can make poker enjoyable for you now is simply the absence of that pressure on you to grind out the hours. It doesn't mean you shouldn't put pressure on yourself to make the best plays in each spot, but you absolutely can enjoy yourself as a profitable ex-pro without doing all that fishy stuff. You don't actually care that much about seeing what the guy has. You resisted that urge thousands of times as a pro. But perhaps a part of you just wants to be the fish for once, because you think that's what it means to enjoy poker like everyone else.
Agree mostly with wazz above. I'm just a hobby/rec player who doesn't really care and I'm not in poker for the money. I also play stakes online way below what I can afford. How do I give a **** about the money and not call everything down and doing stupid stuff I know is wrong? Personally for me I find it very easy as I'm a very competitive guy and always been that way. I'm in for the win alone(not the money). The extra money I make is a small bonus and cherry on top. You need to find a way to adopt the attitude that winning alone matters. Chips and money are just for keeping score of who wins.
Idk if anything I said above helps but hope it does.
Cheers!!!
Ive dealt with something like this, did some soul searching. I cant speak for you.
In my instance i was deeply unsatisfied with my own choices outside of poker, and that dissatisfaction rolled into what i was doing on the table. I was purposely losing, because i felt like i didn't deserve to win.
This was just me, ive since figured things out. I hope it helps someone.
