[Need tips on how to self-reflect after a session]

Good job on taking a mindful approach to poker! This game really tests our emotions.

Emotions come from how we interpret experiences at the table. When we face a tough spot, we assign meaning to it, and that meaning creates an emotional response.

Most of the time, we’re reacting on autopilot without fully understanding why. Turning on the self-reflection switch takes practice, but it’s where real growth happens.

Try this: After your session, note down 1-2 moments that triggered strong emotions. Later, in a calm setting, mentally replay those situations. Ask yourself:

• What was I thinking in that moment?
  
• What belief or expectation led to that reaction?
  
• Was I resisting reality or trying to control something outside my power?
  

There are layers to uncover, like peeling an onion, take it one step at a time.

Hope that helps!

Thanks for the reply. I was very surprised realizing that 2+2 does not offer any forums where people can exclusively discuss mental game issues, considering it's such an important topic. "Psychology" seems too broad and yet, there are not many threads on this forum.

Yep, I agree.

I tried to send you a PM but you aren't accepting them. I wanted to share The Mindset Lab's discord, a place where we share poker related mindset content and discussion around such topics. So here it is: https://discord.gg/fTfPrZdx4u

My suggestion is to think about two or three significant hands that you played and try to understand if your strategy was correct or if there are possible ways to play these hands better. Also, think about how the large short-term luck factor in poker may have affected your results.

What this will do is to help you to understand the game you're playing better, and thus in the future, your decisions will be easier and more accurate. This more than anything will help your winrate. And you'll also find that as a by-product your mental game should improve.

Emotions at the poker table mostly come from not having the knowledge to solve difficult situations that occur. Thus your brain can't get past what is happening and you can lose the ability to think rationally.

See the chapter "A Mathematical Model of “Tilt” — Cause and Cure" in my book Real Poker Psychology -- Expanded Edition:

https://www.amazon.com/Real-Poker-Psycho...

That’s an interesting perspective, but I’d challenge the idea that emotions at the table mostly come from a lack of knowledge.

There are plenty of spots where players do know what the correct play is, yet still make irrational decisions. Cognitive biases, distortions, or underlying beliefs (such as entitlement, fear of looking stupid, or attachment to results) can override logic, even when the knowledge is there.

Also, your second sentence seems to just restate the first rather than explain why a lack of knowledge would be the main cause of emotional reactions. Do you think it’s possible that emotions influence decision-making even when a player knows the right play?

Don't take this wrong, but when I see words like "verified mindset coach," I have my doubts. Perhaps you're an exception. So, what makes you qualified to be an expert in this area?

In my case, I'm someone who has a strong background in mathematical statistics and statistical theory. So, even though I don't know much about psychology, this allows me to come to much better conclusions and explanations than, in my opinion, virtually every "poker mental coach." And these words are put in quotes because I don't think that the large majority of these so-called poker mental coaches have much understanding of what they're doing, and don't understand "all things poker" well enough to come to proper conclusions. And we can see this when we read words like "Cognitive biases, distortions, or underlying beliefs (such as entitlement, fear of looking stupid, or attachment to results)" which I believe are designed to confuse and attract customers.

And once you understand the underlying statistical theory, which can be counter-intuitive to many people, the conclusions can be straight forward. You should read and study my book Real Poker Psychology - Expanded Edition:

https://www.amazon.com/Real-Poker-Psycho...

And put special emphasis on the chapter "A Mathematical Model of “Tilt” — Cause and Cure" which explains clearly how some of this stuff works. You should also put emphasis on all of "Part One: Them Fluctuations" which will help explain why some players who may actually know the correct play, do not understand all things poker well enough not to have these problems.

And what does "all things poker mean?" To start, it means understanding good strategy, understanding variance/stand deviation (specifically the short-term luck factor and how it dissipates over time) and exactly how this works, understanding that games which are based on probability theory (as poker is) can be counter-intuitive to many people, understanding how to balance concepts and when it might be correct to do so. how the meta-game affects current play, bankroll management, and more. Again, quoting from page 265 of my book: "The way to fix any mental problems is by improving your understanding of all things poker, and this means more than just strategy."

And one final thought. All of this appears in my book which was first published in 2015 and then expanded in2021. Yet, while it's a major work in the field of poker psychology, you appear to have no knowledge of it or what it says. That's not good for a "verified mental coach." And this statement is true even if you disagree with much of what I wrote.

I get the skepticism around 'mindset coaching', there’s a lot of fluff in the space, and I’m sure you've seen your fair share of it. That said, psychology isn’t just about throwing around fancy terms to attract customers. Cognitive biases, distortions, and belief systems are well-documented fields of study that impact decision-making in high-stakes environments, poker included.

I don’t doubt that deeper knowledge of poker theory helps players manage their emotions better. Ignorance creates uncertainty, and uncertainty can create stress. But if knowledge alone solved all emotional struggles, we wouldn’t see highly skilled, theoretically competent players still making irrational decisions under pressure.

Your book is clearly something you’ve put a lot of thought into, and I respect that. But understanding 'all things poker' should also include an understanding of how human psychology interacts with the game, not just mathematical theory. If we’re defining 'real poker psychology', then it’s a discussion worth having rather than dismissing outright.

It's not just poker theory, "it's all things poker." For example, if you don't understand how certain events at the poker table can be counter-intuitive, your mind won't be able to properly think through what is happening, and that can cause you to lose the ability to think rationally.

I always find it interesting how many poker mental coaches will say this about what I have written. I'll bet you have little idea as to exactly what my book says and my positions are.

As for a discussion on some of these ideas, go ahead.

By the way, I see you have some sort of seminar about confidence. There's much discussion of that in the book and why it's mostly a silly idea. (What happens to players who are highly confident but don't play well? How about players who do understand how to play well and have good results. Won't the confidence take care of itself?)

And finally, when I see things such as "life coaching certificate," as is on your website about you on the "About Us" page, I have trouble even taking that person seriously. Perhaps you might explain why I'm wrong here.

And I noticed that your partner says "professional poker players are like professional athletes if they treat their career like one" I didn't realize that poker players were concerned with things like speed, timing, and coordination where I agree that some of this stuff may have some value.

And one last thing. If you're interested in where some of my ideas come from, you should spend some time with my gambling theory book:

https://www.amazon.com/Gambling-Theory-O...

Assuming you're legit, but perhaps just misguided, studying this book as well as my poker psychology book should be highly helpful in what you're trying to do. (For example, I see you have something on bankroll management on your website. This was the first book to address this and most ideas on bankroll management that are present in poker were derived from this book.)

My mission in life is to empower others. I spent most of my adult life feeling deeply unfulfilled as a poker professional, despite external “success.” My goal here is simple: to help others navigate the struggles I once faced and to offer value to those looking for a different perspective.

In this conversation, I’ve been challenging ideas, not people. We come from different angles, and I believe that makes for valuable discussion. But instead of engaging with my points, I see efforts to undermine me personally. That’s unfortunate, because at the end of the day, I’m just a human being trying to contribute in a meaningful way.

A few years ago, being spoken to like this might have really gotten to me. And to be honest, it still stings a little- because I care. But I’ve grown enough to know that everyone has their own struggles, and life is tough for all of us. That’s why I choose to focus on adding value rather than tearing others down.

I'm sure I've empowered many more people than you have. My goal is to get the truth out and to be involved with books and other projects that were top notch in every respect. That's was part of the motivation for starting this website in 1997.

I only stick with ideas and facts. Don't distort my approach. I haven't said anything negative about you. In fact, I've given you plenty of opportunity to explain why your stuff is worthwhile, and you have yet to do any of that.

I think I've been personally attacked more than virtually anyone in poker/gambling. It comes with the territory when you point out why certain things don't make much sense. And if you play a lot of poker, there will be times when someone speaks to you at the poker table and you won't like what they say. It's just part of the process of playing poker.

For example, on your website you have an article.about 9 mental tips, and one of these tips is to "Create a warming up & cooling down routine." That's a joke isn't it? Speed, timing and coordination are not an important part of poker, and I have seen this nonsense from other poker mental coaches as well. Also, you recommend meditation for cooling down. And while I agree that meditation can make you feel better, I doubt if it will help you play poker better. (And if this stuff had real value, it would mean that you would now play some of your hands differently and this new way of playing would be superior to the way you previously played them.)

By the way, what do you charge for your coaching? I can't find that on your website and wonder why, and I bet it's expensive. (For comparison, the two books of mine which have been recommended cost $9.99 for the kindle, and I've also given hundreds of these books away.)

Mason, I believe Scrote is a UK psychologist, and as a US psychologist with 30+ years experience, I can assure you that the quote above is neither jargon, gibberish, nor a way designed to "confuse customers."

FWIW, while I don't believe Scrote has much training or experience in clinical psychology, he is competent to talk about psychological factors, although without going through his videos, I have no idea how effective his training program is nor how competent he is to flesh out the emotional factors that might be affecting any specific person's poker decision-making.

OTOH, while you clearly have a life-time's worth of experience with gambling, poker and statistics, you really don't have the education or background to talk down to Scrote about psychology.

All of what you say is fine. Then why can't this person answer any of the questions I brought up. That's the real key. If you want to ask me a question about anything that I've said or written, I'll give you a specific answer. That didn't happen with lucky_scrote.

If he wants to use specific big words about psychology, he needs to show how they relate to poker and how his advice can make you play better, which means that you'll now play some of your hands differently and this new way of playing will be superior to the way they were played before. Well, where's his answer?

Also, it's my experience that when you ask these people what they charge for their coaching, you don't get an answer, and usually, as is the case here, don't find this information readily available on their website.

And where did I talk down to him? All I did was ask questions, and this includes his life coach certificate. And as for what I know about psychology, this is from page 1 of my book:

I’m a mathematician. The reason I can say this is that my degrees are in math. But I’m also a statistician, and the reason I can say this is that in graduate school, my curriculum included a bunch of statistics courses. When I worked in the real world, first for the United States Census Bureau and then for the Northrop Corporation (now Northrop Grumman), my job was more of a statistician than mathematician even though “math” was always in my title. So, why am I writing a book on poker psychology?

There are two reasons. First, my perspective is different. I don’t look at poker psychology as many psychologists would and believe that my understanding of what causes the issues that poker psychologists try to address is far better. And for those of you familiar with the poker psychology literature, video, seminars, etc., I think you’ll agree once you finish this book.

Second, even though there is certainly some good stuff out there, I can’t stand much of what I read and hear. Yes, perhaps this is my version of tilt and also my mathematical bias, but as you’ll see, my tilt problem is solved.

and this is from page 2:

But in poker, as we’ll soon see, because of the large short-term luck factor, it’s not so obvious. In fact, it’s easy to get fooled that certain adjustments are doing a lot for you when in fact they do little or nothing, and may even hurt your future results.

So, not being a psychologist and not having extensive knowledge about psychology should be a big advantage for me. I won’t give all the silly advice that you see in the poker psychology literature, and will explain why much of it is wrong, and even give some unexpected advice. For instance, before your poker session, eating six Big Macs and a bunch of French Fries should be just fine as far as your poker game is concerned. (There will be more discussion on this later in the book.)

One last thing. 2+2 Publishing LLC, of which I'm the publisher, publishes four books on poker psychology. Three of these books are written by authors who have Ph.Ds in psychology. And none of these books have the type of problems I see (and are critical of) with the current crop of poker mental coaches.

Mason,

To reiterate, I'm pretty wary of any psychologist who tries to use his credentials and professional knowledge to sell his expertise in specific areas in which he may have little training or expertise. The statement of his you quoted beginning with "Cognitive biases..." could actually be part of a legitimate training program if the coach was either a clinical psychologist or had extensive training in mental health treatment. However, these should be presented to new clients as potential avenues to explore within an ongoing 1:1 professional/coaching relationship, not a promise to all comers.

FWIW, I actually am mentioned by name in one of your 2+2 psychology books. I don't want to dox myself, but I'll be happy to share my identity if you want to message me.

One thing I noticed is that, on his website, his partner seems to be someone coming out of the sports psychology world. and, in my opinion, athletic sports have little to do with poker. One of the reasons for this is that speed, timing, and coordination have little to do with poker. Another is the short-term luck factor. In many sports, (and tennis which I'm highly familiar with would be a good example) the short-term luck factor as measured by the standard deviation is small when compared to the expectation, while in poker the opposite is true.