Overcoming envy
This is more of a stream of consciousness rant about my downswing than anything else.
I remember an early $1/2 session at Marble when I had been card dead for 3 hours straight and every other reg at my table was running hot hot hot. The usual marks were punting off thousands and none of it went to me - I was filled with envy and rage. Why can't I hit on nights like these?
That envy, as it always did, led to forcing plays, and losing my ability to think clearly. I would create my own bad luck and consistently double or triple my losses beyond what they should have been if I just kept it together.
I think this envy is the leading cause to why my current downswing is so emotionally painful. I have the expectation that I'm supposed to win just because I've studied more, just because I pay more attention, just because I get my money in good. After all, why wouldn't I deserve a pot that I was a favorite to win?
Anyone else ever have to battle these nasty thoughts of expectation in the short term?
4 Replies
You just have to just wait it out. Again look for better spots
You're in a 3 hour session where others are winning but you are not - which makes you angry. For what reason? Is it because you feel you deserve to win? If you deserve to win but are not winning, I suppose that would make you feel hard done by. You could call this entitlement.
But you have recognised this pattern and the damage it is causing - you spiral into bad plays because you are feeling emotionally unstable.
If you would like your emotions to not be so tied to your circumstances I would suggest by bringing some awareness into the moments that set off the emotions and begin to take ownership of them.
you should meditate before sessions. Won't cure the problem, but
should help.
Otherwise this is one of the many battles poker players must endure.
You're playing too high. Move down to a lower level if you can't handle the swings.
You win over the long run, not the short term.
Just go look at any forum where people are posting their graphs. They look like the freaking S&P 500. It goes up over the long term.
