Girlfriend hates poker, want me to play less, how to handle it
So lets be real here, im not gonna stop playing poker, i mean I have goals that I want to accomplish, i make money playing, and i enjoy the game for the game and the psychological aspects. The problem is my gf. i do love her, alot, but she hates the fact i play. She feels it takes time away from her, which can be true, so she wants me to only play once a week. Which is somewhat difficult to do. I dont want to break up with her over something like this, but at the same time, i dont want to be confined to when i play. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation. How did you handle it. Also note im pretty sure she waited to tell me this until we moved in together and signed a lease, so up and leaving isnt exactly an option nor is it something i want to do. I also dont think it helps that about 3 months into us dating i hit a major downswing. So all she knew of was that i was going to play and losing. I have since come out of that downswings, months ago and have built my bankroll back up, but that doesnt seem to matter to her all she sees is what happened in the past. Any thoughts on the topic
6 Replies
Maybe it's night time hours at the table away from her that bother her most?
If she's religious give her the Merton quote: "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and to not twist them to fit our own image (or convenience)."
Bud, you got played. Telling you this after you move in with her may be a sign of coercive control. Don't know much beyond what you've written so it's tough to say but it's not a good sign.
She sounds boring and controlling.
Give her the Boot.
Also, she will never respect you as a man, if you do what she says and if you give up you're poker playing.
If a guy asked a girl to give up her art or horseriding lessons, because you thought it's dangerous or full of wierdos, the girl would see it as a huge red flag.
First of all — TALK to her and actually listen. What is the issue she has with your poker playing? Is it the time investment and she feels you don’t have time for her? If so, work with her. Find ways to limit your time playing poker that are acceptable to both of you. Is it money? Again place monetary limits on your play. If you have to play 2NL online, so be it. Be patient and work your way up to a bigger bankroll, and practice good bankroll management. If you play with a separate poker bankroll and NEVER take money from your bank accounts and paychecks to play poker, the money issue pretty much dries up. Is she worried that you’re an addict and you can’t quit gambling? That one’s tougher. If you really are an addict and can’t quit, hour relationship is unlikely to work out if she cannot deal with that fact. She isn’t going to change you if that is the case, no matter what ultimatums she gives. If you do want to make it work, you would need to seek professional help for the addiction and quit playing. If you truly are an addict, that is probably your best course of action regardless of what she thinks or does.
