Give me a frank and honest assessment...

...of my addiction (or non-addiction) to poker.

I never play any other gambling game with real money. I've been playing for almost 5 years.

At the beginning of each calendar year I give myself a budget for the year of $1000 for live poker (I know that's a terrible roll but it's all I could really afford to lose - that and having a wife who doesn't approve of my hobby does NOT equal a much bigger bankroll!). There were a couple years where I lost that whole amount by February or March and had to shut down for the rest of the year. I'm not going to lie, there were times I really, really wanted to go play but couldn't because I didn't want to break a promise to the wife (and that was the *only* reason - a few times I got unexpected big bonuses from work and could easily have gone to the casino and plopped down a buyin or two at $1/$2NL or $4/$8LHE without it affecting me financially, but I didn't). There was even one year that I'd blown my budget by March and in September I tried to make a deal with my wife - let me go to the casino just this once and I'll do something that at the time was super nice for her. Of course, she said no, I accepted, and never tried that again 😀.

There was a year where by September I was actually *up* for the year - I had a $500 win followed by a $350 win followed by 2 straight $200 losses. The 2 losses made my wife flip out - I tried to explain to her that the $850 I'd won more than made up for the $400 I'd lost but she'd have none of it, so just to make her feel better I *offered* to not go back to the casino for the rest of the year. And I didn't.

I give myself a daily stoploss of $200. Once I'm down $200 I'm done. One time I broke my own rule and lost $260 in one day.

This year, thanks to a really good work year last year I gave myself a budget for the year of $2000. The year started off reasonably well, but in March I had a session where I played stupidly (losing my whole buyin) and I was really mad at myself so I took a break. This year in June I found out about a Card Player Cruise in April 2017, so I booked it and told my wife, "You have my word that I will not spend ONE PENNY on poker between now and that cruise - no books, no coaching, no internet deposits, no casino trips, NOTHING. You also have my word that if the poker goes badly on the cruise I will stop spending money on poker for the rest of 2017 as well." And so far, I haven't. I even did a little mini-vacation where I accepted 2 free nights in a casino's hotel, and while I was there I walked around the poker room to watch, and as much as I really really wanted to pull $200 out of my wallet and sit down (especially when I saw a particularly juicy game!), I *didn't*.

One other tidbit - I completely stopped playing NLHE and PLO live. I suck at them. According to the records I've been keeping for the last 4 years I lose about $50/hr playing NLHE and PLO but I "only" lose about $6/hr playing LHE (when you consider how rake-gouged that game is that's not bad at all!). I have never lost my whole buyin at an LHE table two sessions in a row - ever. I can't say the same about NLHE and PLO 😀.

Now, my budget for the upcoming cruise is something I'm really wrestling with. I really want to spend that whole week *on vacation* not worrying about money - I really want to set my daily stoploss at $200 and play without even thinking about the money, but as improbable as it is, that means I *have* to consider the possibility that I'll lose $1400 on the cruise. My wife will crucify me if I do that (even if I promise not to play for the rest of the year). So I don't know what to do.

OK, I think I've typed enough. Honest opinions - do I seem like I have it under control? Any warning signs anyone sees of a future problem? Any signs I'm kidding myself?

Thanks
DTXCF