2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
Greaar was the cat litter in the toilet right?
Should get a lifetime exemption for that.
Late aughts game days were like proto-Twitch chat, sit in the ocean and enjoy the waves.
It was also the first playoff OT snap of the first game where you needed a td to win I believe
If Tebow was still on the Jets they probably win the division.
no, he was the cat litter in the tiolet
I'm one lazy sob so I've always just dumped the whole thing of cat litter in the tiolet I have downstairs at my condo. I've done this probably 25-30 times with no problem. Yesterday I did it and you guess it, it didnt go down. I've tried plunging it....scooping water out of the tiolet with buckets....pretty much everything with 0 improvement on the sitluation. Only at the very bottom where the water goes in/out is there actual cat litter. It has to be compacted or something? I dont know.
Any idea
i loved grear's avatar, we should unban him just for that
Completely forgot the part where he spelled it tiolet multiple times in the same post
What a masterpiece
I also liked the Greaar vs Custer FT/3P prop bet thread.
Holy **** he had it tiolet in the thread title too
Incredible
Jerry has finally put his foot down.
This kinda encapsulates about every greear thread. The level of extreme incompetence and then insulting everyone trying to help him is just classic greear.
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/48/co...
Originally Posted by rubbrband
greear,
you come off as a ******ed douche in about every thread i see you in. asking for help and then ridiculing people is a pretty ****ty way to go about things esp with something that you could prob fix yourself if you tried.
Originally Posted by GREEAR10
lol get owned HU some more you ****ing tool.
also, i turn on the laptop when i get home from the gym at ~12:30...i see that it says installing update 4 of 5 do not turn off your computer. i wait like 15 mins and it still says this so im like wtf....i fall asleep for ~2hrs and i wakeup and its still on update 4 of 5. i then restart it because i mean wtf it obviously isnt doing anything.....
when it comes back on what does it say???? update 4 of 55555555555. i really dont know what to do. i guess i have to take it back to best buy. really dont understand how every laptop i buy instantly turns into a piece of ****.
lol
the detroit area beast?
i really like houston plus the points. it's a lot of points. but it is freezin today and windy. trying to walk the doggo sucks. gonna be run and defense. this weather is a gift to lamar. not gonna bet it
anyone still like houston, how do we win this bet? looking for a reason....
Ravens are susceptible vs the run. Wind is only 17mph, not the super windy day that was projected. CJ can still operate in that for the most part. If anything else there's a possibility of a backdoor cover.
wasn't even the first tiolet post i found on the search. this one is a few months older
Spoiler
where else you gunna shave your pubs?
Spoiler
Alright. Where the **** do I begin, lol. Here goes. I moved into a condo with two other friends. Friend 1 we will call him, im pretty close with. The other, friend 2 is a decent friend but bull****s constantly and is one of those kids who will just never ever lose an argument/never admits when hes wrong etc. We involved him more so just because he had a job at the time and we couldnt find anyone else.
Anyone after a month friend #1 bails. Friend #2 in the months to follow loses his job...doesnt p
Lmao
bring back grear!
It’s seemed from what one of the kids said yesterday that he’s on tpt on a different SN?
do you think having his new name as kinggrear gave it away?
I know there are a lot of Brock Purdy haters here - you guys were very noisy in the few days after the Ravens game.
I was wondering if this might be a good time for you guys to repeat your arguments about why he's trash. It's easy to do it at the bottom but if you really believe that stuff, you should also be willing to say it now. And next week after he wins the NFFCCG And on February 11th when he wins the Super Bowl. Don't be cowards, let's hear it.
