Champions League 2013-14

The most prestigious and sought after prize in European club football is back - The Champions league.

Last season saw a bunch of German's battle it out with Bayern Munich finally take the crown after losing to Chelsea in the 2012 final in penalties and losing to Inter Milan in the 2010 final.

This guy was judged best afield after scoring the match-winner in the 89th minute.

On to the 2013-14 competition

The Contenders:

Bayern Munich:

The defending champions return bigger and better. After one of the most dominant domestic seasons in German history Bayern could be even better this season under the guidance of this dude

Also, now with more Gotze.

Barcelona:

Regarded as the greatest team of all time, Barcelona will view anything short of winning the Champion's League this season a failure.

Basically all you have to know about them is they have the GOAT

Some massively overhyped Brazilian kid

A bunch of old guys

And the GOAT diver

Real Madrid:

Use the word 'contender' very loosely here

Lost Mourinho, still have that little b*tch Ronaldo, don't look like they're going to sign Cavani or Bale. No chance.

Manchester United:

The GOAT coach retired and they bought in David Moyes to replace him who has very little (if any) experience coaching in UEFA competitions. I personally think they might fall off a tiny bit this season.

But, still they have the best striker in the Premier League

Wait, wrong person

As well as some guy that is like 96 years old which has to count for something.

The departure of Ferguson also probably means the end of 'Fergie time' which means this guy is basically irrelevant

Manchester City:

Eliminated in the group stages 2 years running City had enough and sacked coach Roberto Mancini at the conclusion of last season and replaced him with this guy

City's owners are willing to spend about 25 billion dollars in this transfer window just to make it out of the group stage and are reportedly interested in buying Africa and giving it to City players if they can win a Champion's League game.

The team is basically full of pubescent teenage boys who don't know how to shave

And they even have a white guy

Man City threw away any equity they had at this winning this when they sold the true GOAT.

Chelsea:

The return of 'The Special One'

At long last, the manager that Chelsea fans have longed for has returned tot he bidge.

Jose Mourinho, one of the best coaches in the world is back. And more importantly, the Premier League has another coach who will give many gifs.

Roman has reportedly given Jose £100M to spend over the summer to replicate the success that Jose had in his first stint in North London.

Most important for Chelsea's success would be finding a striker who can actually score and hoping Eden Hazard can consistently perform as well as he did at the start of last season.

PSG:

Some French guys with too much money and whose best player has one of the biggest noses in world sport

But can also do this on occasion.

Insert jokes about the French surrendering here.

The other guys:

Borussia Dortmund: Made the final last season but have already lost star MArio Gomez and looks like another star in Robert Lewandowski could be on his way out too.

Arsenal: Been 8 years since they last won any sil... and won't be ending the drought here despite Arsene Wenger reportedly looking to spend big.

Atletico Madrid: Will be very surprised if Falcao is still there come the start of net season, no chance of going far without him.