Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis
I woke up in the middle of choking to death again; though to be accurate, it was towards the end of the process--woke up right away in a white hot panic with black spots of permanent unconsciousness swooping in across both sides of my vision.
Calm yourself, was the first important step. My lungs were soaked, steeped in the things that belonged only in my stomach, and locked up tight. My air passage was blocked and burning with bile and hydrochloric acid. No, I don't have asthma. I have a drinking problem.
Spoiler
Though, now that I think about it, is that inhaler thing any good? Maybe I'll try a hit sometime, just to see.
This was last Friday, just a few hours after I'd quit my office job of twelve years to take a shot at playing poker for a living out West in Nevada. This will not be my first shot at gambling for a living; although I have only tried something like this once before, many years ago.
Around the turn of the century I quit college most of the way through my senior year and I moved out to Las Vegas for 8 years. My experiences were somewhat of interest: rampant drunkenness, a stolen lab animal, solid card counting, North Korean meth, time spent with Mormons, advantage slot grinding, a cowardly pass on an FBI Most Wanted bounty, facing contempt of court charges, and dressing up as Albus Dumbledore. You can find that in my BBV thread.
[U][url]https://forumserver.twoplustwo.c...[/U][/URL] .
That thread held up pretty well in BBV, which is not nothing.
Starting meditative relaxation can be problematic when you're dying from choking on your own puke. I sat up straight, blind from the black splotches that had slapped away the weak light of the kitchen stove. I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my chest and upper arms, and then, projecting calm with all my might, I tried my throat. I pictured my lungs and throat opening up just a tiny passage, for just a little air to go by--something to get me started. And they did, untethering just the smallest little rivulet of air, and it made the most terrifying sound as it went through. It always does.
Whatever you've heard from actors pretending to gasp after being choked, the reality is worse. At least no one was with me this time. When that's been the case, the other person has invariably freaked the **** out when they've heard my gasping and choking routine, which only adds the burden of myself having to reassure them through nodding and non-frantic gestures, so that they won't call 911, as I hate the idea of calling the cops.
April 13th of this year was 14 months without me having a drink. During that long stretch I had honestly forgotten why I'd quit. That's right, I had completely purged from my recall the years of nighttime memories of myself almost choking to death, this happening once or twice every couple of weeks on average. Now, the terrifying night wakeups didn't happen even once during the 14 dry months. But 3 weeks back into drinking--oh yeah--there was that thing, wasn't there?.
Now, there was something else I'd forgotten about. And that's the Double Tap. The Double Tap happens when I don't force my drunk and tired and traumatized self to remain awake for a good two or three hours after a choking incident. If I fall back asleep before then, I wake up choking to death all over again. And sure enough, that happened last Friday, and I had to save myself again.
So on Saturday I jumped back on the waggy, and Cinco de Mayo is now my new anniversary date, and that's really enough about drinking. I'm not here to write about that business. I should have been done with it; and now I am.
My flight leaves for Reno in a few hours, and I'll be out there for the next 3 weeks scouting out the live poker games in the city. If I like it, that's where I'm moving to.
For yesterday's poker session, I went down only $100 during the first hour, instead of the usual $200, so that was nice. On my planned last orbit of the session I found myself up $60 or so, until the very last hand, when I picked up red aces UTG, got it heads up, and got them cracked.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 4.5 hours
(-$67.00)
MGM Springfield Slots: 3.5 hours
+$174.46
2024 Running Poker Total: 34 hours, (-$354.00)
2024 Running Slot Total: 30.5 hours, +$2559.35
2024 Grand Total: 64.5 hours, +$2205.35
I cleaned my tub and shower today with a scrubbing foam that came out of the can looking like bright bluish purple spray paint.
Spoiler
It was the first time I used that brand, so it gave me pause for a few seconds, then—through the magic of modern chemical science—the color faded away. The stuff works pretty well, and its chemical smell is tolerable in close spaces, which is not the case for many other brands of shower cleaners.
The cleaning reminded me of a bathtub story from when I was younger. This story is going to be disgusting, so I would urge those of you with weak stomachs to give it a hard pass, lest it haunt you.
I keep my apartment fairly clean nowadays, but when I was younger, I did not. I was never a hoarder mind you; I didn't have clutter or food waste or anything lying around that would attract rats or roaches. However, I did not clean up the dust and dirt...for months or years at a time. The only exception to that was the toilet bowl. I would give that a cursory scrub every few weeks, having earlier let it go at one apartment for a few years, and then having spent several hours over the course of a few days trying to de-brownify it. I let everything else that got dirty, aside from the toilet bowl, fall by the wayside.
Once, years ago, I did not clean my shower and tub unit for 3 or 4 years. It got worse when the drain partially clogged, leaving standing water collecting dirt and soap scum on the bathtub floor after every shower. I let that state of affairs go on for another 6 months or so, until I had a continuous half inch (1 cm) thick layer of filth across the floor of my tub, stretching 8 inches (20 cm) up the walls.
I left for a 2 week business trip to Japan and Taiwan in November of that year, leaving my thermostat at around 45°F (7°C). When I returned, I found that the filth in my tub had dried out and crinkled up into one cohesive unit. The brown mat had the thickness and consistency of butcher paper that had been soaked once, then dried out. I noticed that a corner of the filth sheet had pulled away from the shower wall. Curious, I grabbed that corner and pulled.
The mat pulled off of the shower floor and walls in one continuous sheet, with only one hole in it where the drain had been. I was able to crumple it into a ball the size of a volleyball and throw it away. Underneath where the filth sheet had been, the shower floor and walls were perfectly clean and shiny.
I keep my apartment fairly clean nowadays, but when I was younger, I did not. I was never a hoarder mind you; I didn't have clutter or food waste or anything lying around that would attract rats or roaches. However, I did not clean up the dust and dirt...for months or years at a time. The only exception to that was the toilet bowl. I would give that a cursory scrub every few weeks, having earlier let it go at one apartment for a few years, and then having spent several hours over the course of a
This is hilarious. 😃
Solid SJ update.
Thanks guys ♥♥♥
Yesterday at the poker table I changed my recent trajectory by going up $225 in the first hour, thanks to the football promo. I would win another $75 from the promo later on in the session, making for a nice day.
At one point my table had 3 decent regs playing on it, not counting myself. Whenever I find myself at a $1/$2 table playing against 3 or more okay to good regs and no super droolers, I recognize that I'm at one of the worst tables in the room at that level, and I transfer. It doesn't happen very often, and it's always nice to stretch my legs when it does.
My second table was nice and soft.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 6.5 hours
+$551.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 3.5 hours
+$128.45
2024 Running Poker Total: 40.5 hours, +$97.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 34 hours, +$2687.80
2024 Grand Total: 74.5 hours, +$2784.80
I cleaned my tub and shower today with a scrubbing foam that came out of the can looking like bright bluish purple spray paint.
Spoiler
It was the first time I used that brand, so it gave me pause for a few seconds, then—through the magic of modern chemical science—the color faded away. The stuff works pretty well, and its chemical smell is tolerable in close spaces, which is not the case for many other brands of shower cleaners.
The cleaning reminded me of a bathtub story from when I was younger. This s
A video of this would be worth millions!
Morph, you need to stop asking for videos of men in their bath being filthy.
Last night, I planned on trying the evening shift at the poker room, then turning to the slots for a late night/early morning sweep, but as I sat at the poker table, I couldn't help but notice another slot grinder systematically going through all of the Ultimate X machines just outside the poker room.
Spoiler
This happens sometimes when I get called to the table early and don't have time to check the machines first, and there's little I can do about it short of abandoning my spot at the poker table to scrap for the available machines, and that kind of jockeying could lead to drama and unwanted attention from the casino, so I avoid it.
Later on, I left the table briefly to check on my semi-secret machine stash—the ones that I check early in the AM—but the other grinder was on to them as well.
Spoiler
So it was a short night for the slots. Fortunately, I ran well on the poker table. I didn't win any big pots, but I won most of my small and medium ones, and that was enough to make for a good night.
I thought that the poker night shift might be a little less reg-infested, but there were probably more regs playing at 10PM than there are typically at 10AM, and I had to do a table change at one point. The difference between the two times lies in the presence of the few drunk punters who are often present at 10PM, and hardly ever there at 10AM.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 4 hours
+$411.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 1 hour
+$58.60
2024 Running Poker Total: 44.5 hours, +$508.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 35 hours, +$2746.40
2024 Grand Total: 79.5 hours, +$3254.40
I just googled MGM Springfield, it's much nicer looking than I assumed. Looks like they converted an old armory and electric company building, really nicely done. I was expecting something much more boring on the edge of town or something. I need make a road trip at some point and include this.
I just googled MGM Springfield, it's much nicer looking than I assumed. Looks like they converted an old armory and electric company building, really nicely done. I was expecting something much more boring on the edge of town or something. I need make a road trip at some point and include this.
The website must have given it the Zillow treatment and made the place look bigger and posher than it is. It's a glorified slot parlor the size of a Fremont Street joint, located in a questionable neighborhood.
On the plus side, it has a 15-table poker room, a small table gaming area, a bowling alley and a movie theater, and I enjoy the free self-serve fountain soda and coffee machines, but mostly it's a half hour away, while everything else is 90 minutes or more.
Rolling Stone's 475th Greatest Album of All Time: Sheryl Crow by Sheryl Crow (1996)
Ms. Crow wrote and produced most of this, her Grammy-winning 1996 self-titled album, and she also played most of the instruments on it. This gave her an impressive leg up in an era that saw the flourishing of many a white female singer-songwriter.
The mid to late 90s brought such acts as Alanis Morissette, Natalie Merchant, Annie Lennox, Sarah McLachlan, Beth Orton, Poe, Fiona Apple, Tori Amos, Jewel, Suzanne Vega and Lisa Loeb, to name a few who come to mind, and I'm sure that I'm missing more than a few others.
I enjoyed hearing a lot of these talented women during their heydays; but to be honest, I didn't care much either way for Sheryl Crow. Her three hits from this album: A Change Will Do You Good, Everyday Is a Winding Road and If It Makes You Happy, have all been playing on heavy rotation in the casinos for nearly the last 30 years, and they've all paled somewhat as I've grown very used to them.
But where I've spent my last 3 decades is not Sheryl Crow's fault, so I tried to give a fresh listen to the hits; it would never be fair to skip over an album's most popular songs.
If It Makes You Happy has a warm and wistful guitar tone, given the song's lyrics, which I'd always just taken to be dour in nature. But on a closer listen, they don't seem to be so downbeat.
We went searchin', through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen
Well, okay, I made this up
I promised you I'd never give up
Not so dour as second person-directed and fanciful, and maybe a little disjointed—but in a good way—like a Beck song or Bob Dylan's poetry. Of course, Sheryl Crow came before Beck, so some of Beck's lyrics sound like hers.
The song's refrain comes across as a riddle.
If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
What is the thing that makes a person happy and sad at the same time? Drugs? Alcohol? Romantic Love? Near-Total Freedom? In any case, the song is a freaking earworm, and I'll have it in my head for the rest of the day.
A Change Will Do You Good and Everyday Is a Winding Road are fine songs. They're clever, well written, solidly arranged, and flawlessly performed. There's nothing wrong with them beyond the fact that—like If It Make You Happy—I've heard them all a thousand times.
Moving on, Redemption Day is an old-school ballad with guitar, banjo, organ and bass lines that combine to sound like an old Johnny Cash song. I enjoyed it on the first listen, and then I found out that Johnny Cash actually covered this song, just before he died, so it was an instance of Johnny Cash sounding like Sheryl Crow.
Finally, Superstar is a fun, old-school groove with a funky fuzz guitar line.
Overall, Sheryl Crow's self-titled release is an excellent album, and fully deserving of its Grammy win and its place on this list, and it marks a time when dozens of women singer-songwriters were being recognized and promoted by the labels. I'm not sure why that all stopped, whether it was a glut of talent at that particular time, or just the short and fickle attention span of the music industry.
Rolling Stone Says:
The Missouri gal finally got to make an album her way, in 1996, with her self-titled, self-produced smash — an ingenious mix of roots-rock raunch and vengeful wit...
...“Every Day Is a Winding Road” and “A Change Would Do You Good” rock like a feminist Exile on Main Street, while “If It Makes You Happy” became an anthem for bad girls of all ages.
A bad girl anthem? Chalk those lyrics up as enigmatic, I guess.
There's often a big gap between what one *thinks * makes them happy and what *does*
The website must have given it the Zillow treatment and made the place look bigger and posher than it is. It's a glorified slot parlor the size of a Fremont Street joint, located in a questionable neighborhood.
On the plus side, it has a 15-table poker room, a small table gaming area, a bowling alley and a movie theater, and I enjoy the free self-serve fountain soda and coffee machines, but mostly it's a half hour away, while everything else is 90 minutes or more.
Ok yeah not really surprised. I still find it more interesting than most of these random casinos around the country that are some tacky warehouse next to the highway.
True that, golddog.
I [U]looked it up[/U], which is often a mistake when it comes to parsing the meaning of esoteric poetry, lyrics, and prose.
Savvy writers clam up when asked about their cryptic stuff because they know that their readers often come up with cooler interpretations than the writer's own original meaning.
I forgot that the high hand poker promo ended early on Saturdays, and I showed up after it ended.
I dislike playing during the hours when the floor is raking promo dollars and not giving them back out, so I decided early on that I would bail if I went up over $200 at any point.
Today (Sunday) marks the last poker football promo before the Super Bowl. I will be there for both games, rooting for lots of scoring and little else.
On the slot front, the floor was infested with more than half a dozen grinders, making for very few available plays.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 3 hours
+$256.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 1 hour
(-$1.25)
2024 Running Poker Total: 47.5 hours, +$764.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 36 hours, +$2745.15
2024 Grand Total: 83.5 hours, +$3509.15
My 10k post is next. I'm going to write a prequel tale in my [U]Nit-tastic Tales thread[/U].
I don't know how long it's going to take to write it: maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe longer. You'll know it's done when my post count hits 10,000; then I'll return to posting here.
I finished my 10k post in the other thread.
So—as the old TV networks used to say—now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
The Dry 2024 Challenge Update
January: ✓
February: UNLOCKED
Here are the current Watch All the TV results. The numbers next to the names show the first season and episode that I need to watch, given that I've watched the seasons and episodes before that. For example, I've seen Fargo (2,1) up until the end of the first season, so I need to start up with the second season, first episode. Shows with *** next to them are the five shows that I'm actively watching.
Numbers next to shows in the Abandoned and Caught Up sections show the last episode I watched. I've abandoned three shows so far.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Too much shouting. There's a shouting match like three times in every 22-minute episode. All of the characters are selfish sociopaths. I know, that's the joke. I get it, but 16 seasons of that is going to wear on me. Look at the sheer length of this to-watch list; I don't have time for that many seasons of something I don't love.
Stranger Things: I am from the same age cohort as the kids in the show, but I kind of hated the 80's growing up. Even while going through them, I thought they were cheesy. I was a 90s guy all the way. So the 80s nostalgia became cloying very quickly, and the showrunners seemed to stamp on it harder as the show went on. Also, I didn't really like any of the kids. I thought it was neat that Steve, the "cool" basketball chad, ended up having a good heart and not being a standard Cobra Kai asshat, but that was about it. Also, I hated 11s bloody noses happening three times an episode. And finally, it seems like they were only fighting one of those annoying endgame bosses with multiple health bars, and each health bar lasted an entire season. "Now witness my true form" etc...
True Detective: I loved Harrelson's and McConaughey's performances, but I don't like cop shows and procedurals, and this is a cop show where the procedural lasts for the entire season. Pass. And yes, I know that Fargo has a similar motif, but I did love the first season of that, so I will give the second a chance, and abandon it at the first sign of mehness. Plus my friend Will loves Fargo, so it might be nice to have something additional to chat about.
TV Shows
30 Rock
Andor
Archer*** 5,12
Arrested Development
Babylon 5
Barry
The Bear
Better Call Saul*** 5,3
Bird Box
Blackadder
Black Mirror
Bojack Horseman (1,2)
Castle Rock
Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
Community
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Dark
Devs
The Dirt
Disenchantment
The Expanse
Falling Skies
Fargo (2,1)
Flash Forward
Fleabag
Foundation
Fringe
Game of Thrones (1,3)
The Good Place
Good Omens
The Handmaid's Tale*** 2,13
I, Claudius
Justified
The Last of Us
Lazarus Project
Mad Men
M.O.D.O.K.
Mr. Robot
The Office
Orange Is the New Black
The Orville***1,5
On Cinema
Only Murders in the Building
Ozark
Parks & Recreation
Queen's Gambit
Santa Clarita Diet
Seinfeld
Squid Game
Stargate
Star Trek Picard (3,1)
The Sopranos
Ted
Ted Lasso
Trailer Park Boys
The Twilight Zone
Twin Peaks
Under the Dome
Veep
X-Files
Wandavision
Watchmen
Wednesday
Westworld
The Wheel of Time*** 2,2
Movies
Asteroid City
El Camino
Hugo
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Killers of the Flower Moon
Some Kind of Monster
Spider Man Across the Spiderverse
Whiplash
Caught Up or Finished
11.22.63 (Fin)
The Boys (3,8)
Letterkenny (12,6)
Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (1,8)
Rick and Morty (6,10)
Shoresy (2,6)
What We Do in the Shadows (5,10)
Abandoned
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2,3)
Stranger Things (3.4)
True Detective (2,1)
…if good poker player (can confirm goodness) why not getting good poker player results?!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My long term results are fine/adequate, N8. You can see last year's tally if you back up to December. I just need to put in more hours for this year.
I do still have a lot to learn, in any case. Continued study and play will help with that.
But for now, the slots are still more profitable - as your undertitle suggests. 😀
