Online dating thread

Her character voices were really on point.

Could've used her help the time I got robbed on a first date by my date at the Disney Store

did you get laid though?

the Aussie did! First tinder root last night which was also my first new root since 2001

A little nervous beforehand tbh but the magic was still there! [emoji123][emoji123]

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

Oy! Oy! Oy!

Wrote this piece chronicling one of my recent speed dating events - I usually don't take notes during these but certainly would be beneficial in case of matching & having something to talk about in the initial email reach out

A Night In The Life Of A Mediocre Speed-...

all too relatable, the bigger disappointment is not is your own failure in blowing it (which is always non zero), but that they obviously got it but are not into you and thus shut it all down because they didn't want to give signals that they like you

no better signal in the world then when you say a stupid joke and they laugh, you're always in when that occurs

also, the wisest thing i ever heard in my life was when a bunch of buddies were ragging on dave mathews band in college and a buddy of mine made a passionate plea not to judge him by his fans

interesting read but also seems like a bleak scene.

Maybe it's just the focus of your storytelling but is it really trying to adapt how you present/talk about yourself to suit what you think each woman wants? Seems demeaning.

Going by statistics, the chance of success in speed dating seems kind of bleak (along with apps, etc.) Glass half full, I look at it as practice for future full-fledged dates

I'm just trying to riff and vibe in the limited window I have with each person - not trying to change my personality or say what I think they want to hear. I think I can have a good conversation with just about anyone even if we don't romantically hit it off or become best friends

Are you attractive? If not , do you do the small things that offset the lack of attractiveness?

Makes sense. I’m very new to the dating scene and it’s limited only to tinder but it’s been incredible the level of arrogance and entitlement in the profiles of women on there who are ****able but not super hot at all. And that’s where my question was coming from.

Profiles that have intros like ‘let’s start with the things you are NOT…..’ or ‘to succeed with me you will need …..’ or ‘to apply for a date with me you’ll need to get in line and have …..’ followed by long lists of things

I’m just auto swiping left on all of them. I get that they might get a load of likes or whatever but honestly who has time for people like that? I’d rather masturbate.

I’m gonna be careful not to get into ‘alpha’ type stuff because that’s not my thing at all, but you’ve still got to believe in your own value and attractiveness and even those women writing those profiles will only really want someone in real life who is true to themself and has their own sense of self worth.

Idk maybe I’m lucky that I seem to get enough decent likes and it must get difficult and lonely if for whatever reason your profile doesn’t jump out.

thanks for the tr, been meaning to ask about your experience

also, be very wary of any profiles with very professionally done Instagram model type profiles - often asian who are super eager to chat but never want to meet in person for a variety of reasons (oh i just went to Singapore, I'll be back in 3 months or I'm busy with work let's get to know each other first) and often casually mention how much money they are making in the markets - those are scammers

they usually want to switch conversation to whatsapp or another app pretty quickly, not a cell number because then they pay international texting rates but something off tinder that's easier to manage hundreds of matches on a PC and they always unmatch on the site once they transfer you over because then you can't report them anymore as scammers

https://www.propublica.org/article/whats...

i probably match with at least 2-3 a month and it's super depressing

also 100% agree with your "alpha" stance, and it's a real shame that general concept/community is so unbearably toxic and awful - the foundation of know your worth and they will respect/be more attracted than if you don't is 100% on point but then so many take it to needless extremes - like i have friends who won't date a woman with a college degree because they think that'll only lead to problems

I’ve lucked out tbh. I matched with a very nice looking woman with an incredible body. First date I went on. Only been on one more (immediately after date 1 but she wasn’t nice looking)

She’s a few years older than me but really loves the sexy time and gets that I’m in a situation where I can’t commit to dating and so there’s no pressure. (Or not yet anyway). Has nice apartment, own business, kids have left home etc. I can tell she’s starting to want more and a relationship etc so I’ve got to tread carefully and I’ll pull the pin at some point soon, but it’s been a very good experience.

I’m still matching with some other nice ones and chat a little and there’s a fitness instructor I’m meeting for a coffee on the weekend but that’s about it. Life is very busy and so 1-2 hours twice a week is about all I’ve got

And yeah, the scammer profiles are easy to spot. They all say the same things with different pics and often have cliche backgrounds. And you’ll randomly be on there and see 4/5 smokeshows in succession which have clearly all been posted by the same dude

they are but some don't follow quite the exact cookie cutter - they are always improving and adapting, taking what doesn't work, what got them busted, etc and then getting better at it

and more than once i thought it was a scammer based on the profile but then found they were a real person who just phoned in the profile because she didn't want to put in a lot of effort - still a bit of a red flag but it was a real person

glgl, but sounds like you got a good handle of things, which I'm not all that surprised about

Don’t swipe on girls that are out of your league. You’ll do way better

I would lean towards being a little on the arrogant side than not…know your worth and operate from the position that you are the prize. If nothing else, that mindset will differentiate you from many of the men you are competing with. The women will notice a difference and want to know why you feel/act this way regarding yourself, even more so if you’re not obviously very attractive. Hopefully it will also prevent you from over investing very early in the relationship as well.

If you’re not going to swipe right on everyone I suggest swiping only on girls that you think you have a good chance with

Woman date the top 5-10% of men on apps.

If you are a normal dude , You do not have the ability to often date women that are more attractive than you are.

As a result, you will be much happier if you ignore those dates and focus on the ones that are going to bring you more fulfillment, faster, for less money.

Women are very picky. Make yourself attractive and then go after the women that will find you attractive.

thedean1 / AKA deanondraft solved dating some years back on twitter.

He said if you're a 7 then go for nothing but 6's and below. Boom dating solved.

Edit: https://www.tiktok.com/@yosoypabloescoba...

It's about 1 minute into video.

Dating up is going to get you used, left and cheated on.

Gotta date down as a dude for success. Life isn’t fair lmao. Men that are 7s don’t get women that are 8s often enough to be a good use of your time

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I dated an attractive medical doctor I met on hinge for about 5 months and then she abruptly dumped me last month. Maybe no more attractive doctors. A less attractive physical therapist could be the way to go.

How did that make you feel?