Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis
I woke up in the middle of choking to death again; though to be accurate, it was towards the end of the process--woke up right away in a white hot panic with black spots of permanent unconsciousness swooping in across both sides of my vision.
Calm yourself, was the first important step. My lungs were soaked, steeped in the things that belonged only in my stomach, and locked up tight. My air passage was blocked and burning with bile and hydrochloric acid. No, I don't have asthma. I have a drinking problem.
Spoiler
Though, now that I think about it, is that inhaler thing any good? Maybe I'll try a hit sometime, just to see.
This was last Friday, just a few hours after I'd quit my office job of twelve years to take a shot at playing poker for a living out West in Nevada. This will not be my first shot at gambling for a living; although I have only tried something like this once before, many years ago.
Around the turn of the century I quit college most of the way through my senior year and I moved out to Las Vegas for 8 years. My experiences were somewhat of interest: rampant drunkenness, a stolen lab animal, solid card counting, North Korean meth, time spent with Mormons, advantage slot grinding, a cowardly pass on an FBI Most Wanted bounty, facing contempt of court charges, and dressing up as Albus Dumbledore. You can find that in my BBV thread.
[U][url]https://forumserver.twoplustwo.c...[/U][/URL] .
That thread held up pretty well in BBV, which is not nothing.
Starting meditative relaxation can be problematic when you're dying from choking on your own puke. I sat up straight, blind from the black splotches that had slapped away the weak light of the kitchen stove. I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my chest and upper arms, and then, projecting calm with all my might, I tried my throat. I pictured my lungs and throat opening up just a tiny passage, for just a little air to go by--something to get me started. And they did, untethering just the smallest little rivulet of air, and it made the most terrifying sound as it went through. It always does.
Whatever you've heard from actors pretending to gasp after being choked, the reality is worse. At least no one was with me this time. When that's been the case, the other person has invariably freaked the **** out when they've heard my gasping and choking routine, which only adds the burden of myself having to reassure them through nodding and non-frantic gestures, so that they won't call 911, as I hate the idea of calling the cops.
April 13th of this year was 14 months without me having a drink. During that long stretch I had honestly forgotten why I'd quit. That's right, I had completely purged from my recall the years of nighttime memories of myself almost choking to death, this happening once or twice every couple of weeks on average. Now, the terrifying night wakeups didn't happen even once during the 14 dry months. But 3 weeks back into drinking--oh yeah--there was that thing, wasn't there?.
Now, there was something else I'd forgotten about. And that's the Double Tap. The Double Tap happens when I don't force my drunk and tired and traumatized self to remain awake for a good two or three hours after a choking incident. If I fall back asleep before then, I wake up choking to death all over again. And sure enough, that happened last Friday, and I had to save myself again.
So on Saturday I jumped back on the waggy, and Cinco de Mayo is now my new anniversary date, and that's really enough about drinking. I'm not here to write about that business. I should have been done with it; and now I am.
My flight leaves for Reno in a few hours, and I'll be out there for the next 3 weeks scouting out the live poker games in the city. If I like it, that's where I'm moving to.
For 10 hands, a lone x2 is marginal or breakevenish given Ultimate X's miserly pay tables, so I'll skip that play, unless I'm feeling gamblesome that day, which I rarely am, but I will play a x3 or two x2s on 10 hand configurations all day.
Getting further into the writing weeds:
I found it necessary to decide whether x2 and x3 are pronounced as "ex two and ex three" or "times two and times three." If it was the former, I would have to use "an x3"; instead I went with "a x3", therefore "a times three."
Notice that I copped out the first time I used x2 and threw the adjective lone in front of it, so I wouldn't have to choose between a and an.
So, does my decision mean that I need to start pronouncing the Ultimate X game as Ultimate Times?
I just checked the etymology of the word. Someone used it back in 1874, but I'd have to pay the Oxford Dictionary people in order to find out who it was and how they used it.
I checked to see if it was Mark Twain, because I've been reading him a lot lately—I get my love of em dashes and semicolons from him; it's a way of thinking—but nothing came up with gamblesome and Twain.
A visit to your local public library, or even a call to their reference desk, might provide an answer to this. They love stuff like this. And let's face it, your loyal readership wants to know
and i read it as 'times two' because that's the math action.
This behavior is very relatable. 😀 And for what it's worth, I would pronounce it as "ex two".
I'm torn between the two, and probably always will be. Fortunately, it's not a big deal, just a curiosity.
A visit to your local public library, or even a call to their reference desk, might provide an answer to this. They love stuff like this. And let's face it, your loyal readership wants to know
I've never liked talking on the phone. The advent of email and texting was a bit of a godsend for me.
Someday I'm going to show up at the local library and ask for a card. What's stopping me is that I'm still leery from having kept two books that belonged to the Las Vegas Public Library system; kept them in my possession from 1999-2021, until I finally returned them to the library's drive-through dropoff bin at 4AM, on foot and wearing a hoodie hood cinched tight and a Covid mask pulled way up.
Now, I don't suspect that the next time I apply for a card in person I'll be slapped in irons and told that I'm being held in lieu of the outstanding $27,563.43 in fees I've accrued during the lion's share of the 21st century thus far. I've heard that libraries aren't even charging late fees nowadays—but they were charging them when last I borrowed.
No. It's the idea of being rejected for a card, the shame of being turned away due to some nationwide indelible black mark I picked up from being a poor citizen in what's left of our reasonable and charitable society.
If that's the case, then it's a bitter medicine that I've prescribed for myself, and I should probably take it, eventually, but not today.
Someday I'm going to show up at the local library and ask for a card. What's stopping me is that I'm still leery from having kept two books that belonged to the Las Vegas Public Library system; kept them in my possession from 1999-2021, until I finally returned them to the library's drive-through dropoff bin at 4AM, on foot and wearing a hoodie hood cinched tight and a Covid mask pulled way up.
pretty sure timothy leary is not waiting for you to return the next electric kool-aid acid test results
all subsequent questions best answered by hunter s thompson dishonorable desert scribe of a certain discharging
Here's the latest book haul.
I bought the Vidal and Le Guin books on an earlier trip, but I didn't blog them, as two books hardly make for a haul.
I've owned Gore Vidal's Lincoln before. I donated it in haste the last time I moved, and then I regretted the donation at my leisure, so I bought it again. If you're a Lincoln fan, or a Civil War buff, it's hard to go wrong with this novel. And if you like that, might love Vidal's Burr, a biographical novel of our mephistophelian third vice president, the killer of Alexander Hamilton.
I picked up the last three Expanse series novels. The TV show was cancelled around the end of the sixth volume, so these stories will be new to me. I'm excited about wrapping up this epic space opera.
I picked up Tarantino's book on a whim, and also in the hope that he'll give me some more bucket list movies to watch. The blurb tells me that he covers films from the 70s.
I'm familiar with Twain's The Prince and the Pauper story, as a number of movies and TV shows have appropriated it, but I don't believe that I've read the original, so I'm looking forward to that.
i always say out loud "two ex" "eight ex"
but i'm almost never correct
pretty sure timothy leary is not waiting for you to return the next electric kool-aid acid test results
all subsequent questions best answered by hunter s thompson dishonorable desert scribe of a certain discharging
Timothy Leary, Hunter S Thompson, Tom Wolfe and Ken Kesey were all meat and potatoes to me when I was a young 'un.
A good morning: +$200 at the slots.
I've discovered a +EV slot title that has units all over MGM Springfield, and it looks like it's gone completely unchecked thus far by the Asian syndicate and the other slot grinders. Today, a few of the machines from this newly-discovered title were close to a +EV play, but not quite there.
I've had to be very careful with checking these. Due diligence in this profession requires us to follow rival slot grinders around discreetly to see what they're checking and playing. I've been a follower and a followee many times in this metagame.
A few weeks ago, 2p2er rickroll was kind enough to turn me on to a certain monster-themed title, and I had those machines to myself for only two days before someone from the syndicate likely saw me playing one, and then they all started checking and playing the title.
So it's only a matter of time before they catch me with this new title; I only hope to get a few plays in before they do.
Same here. Oddly enough, if it was written with a space in between, as in "x 2" as opposed to "x2"), then I would pronounce it "Times two".
I say in my head an “ex 2”. Considering it’s a multiplier I should be saying “times 2”. If I’m actually describing this to someone I’d say it’s a a “2x mutiplier”.
I've had to be very careful with checking these. Due diligence in this profession requires us to follow rival slot grinders around discreetly to see what they're checking and playing. I've been a follower and a followee many times in this metagame.
A few weeks ago, 2p2er rickroll was kind enough to turn me on to a certain monster-themed title, and I had those machines to myself for only two days before someone from the syndicate likely saw me playing one, and then they all started checking and pl
I’m not an AP slot player or slot player period. I however just by hanging out in forums like this and few other things know exactly what slot you’re talking about.
I wouldn’t kick yourself for potentially turning on the Asian syndicate to this play. It’s getting well known.
Also I’m late but awesome and well timed royal on a 2x multiplier.
Timothy Leary, Hunter S Thompson, Tom Wolfe and Ken Kesey were all meat and potatoes to me when I was a young 'un.
recipe ambiguous if i should willingly nix the beats and ginsberg while preparing a corso ferlenghetti with kerouak snyders
more than forty years life living on their acid tested drop cloth cultures strewn between the Monterey Bay and Columbia Bar can change a man
I’m not an AP slot player or slot player period. I however just by hanging out in forums like this and few other things know exactly what slot you’re talking about.
I wouldn’t kick yourself for potentially turning on the Asian syndicate to this play. It’s getting well known.
Yeah, I believe the syndicate players have an excellent research and support unit. I've seen them texting on their phones while sitting in front of marginal plays, ostensibly checking in with hq on whether the play is +EV or not.
recipe ambiguous if i should willingly nix the beats and ginsberg while preparing a corso ferlenghetti with kerouak snyders
more than forty years life living on their acid tested drop cloth cultures strewn between the Monterey Bay and Columbia Bar can change a man
Guests included Hunter S Thompson, Richard Alpert (aka Ram Dass), a colleague of Timothy Leary, Allen Ginsberg, Neal Cassady, one of Kerouac's best friends, the Hell's Angels (invited), and the cops (uninvited). All this would later be chronicled in Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, which I should buy and read again, only it would probably make me pine mournfully for some blotter, which I haven't been able to find for at least 25 years.
The Dry 2024-2025 Challenge Update
January: ✓
February: ✓
March: ✓
April: ✓
May: ✓
June: ✓
July: ✓
August: ✓
September: ✓
October: ✓
November: ✓
December: ✓
January: ✓
February: ✓
March: ✓
April: UNLOCKED
The challenge will hit an inflection point this Saturday, at my nephew's wedding. I'll have to sit and visit for hours, and I can't leave early, as I'm driving my elderly parents down to it, and we're staying in town for the night.
I'm not the sitting and visiting type, unless I have a little booze in me, and then I suddenly am. I could bring my vape pen with me, but THC often makes me more socially anxious, not less.
Since you've made it this far, you'll get through the wedding without booze as well. I believe in you.
Spoiler
No pressure. 😀
do you keep track of how you react to different strains?
either way i'm confident you'll have a dry mouth this weekend
Guests included Hunter S Thompson, Richard Alpert (aka Ram Dass), a colleague of Timothy Leary, Allen Ginsberg, Neal Cassady, one of Kerouac's best friends, the Hell's Angels (invited), and the cops (uninvited). All this would later be chronicled in Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, which I should buy and read again, only it would probably make me pine mournfully for some blotter, which I haven't been able to find for at least 25 years.
friends father believes he was there that night
not surprised if he was
heres a fun summary documentation of the many characters involved and their back drop stories
met ken and further back in eugene days
when oregon country fair was more like la honda and not dismaland
Since you've made it this far, you'll get through the wedding without booze as well. I believe in you.
Spoiler
No pressure. 😀
Thanks Sheep!
Speaking of pressure: I've been made an usher. I'm terrible with names; it's a huge leak, so now I'll be ushing dozens of friends and relatives whose names I should absolutely remember but don't. Add social anxiety to that and it's not something I'm looking forward to.
do you keep track of how you react to different strains?
either way i'm confident you'll have a dry mouth this weekend
Doesn't matter if it's indica, sativa, or hybrid, there's around a 75% chance that I won't like being in a crowd.
friends father believes he was there that night
not surprised if he was
heres a fun summary documentation of the many characters involved and their back drop stories
met ken and further back in eugene days
when oregon country fair was more like la honda and not dismaland
I got to see him speak at UCONN circa 1990. He was--as you might expect--a great crowd facilitator. Around 40 people went to his talk, and he got a group discussion going that was lively and fun.
I'm filling in at the office today, so posting by phone, therefore I'm not obsessively editing grammar, usage and style, especially given the DDOS problems slowing everything down on the site. So this is first draft stuff; apologies for that.
There are other posters on this forum with a lot more experience than I have, but the only 2 I've met from that generation were Gary Snyder and HST, and Snyder's mind was ahead by several orders of magnitude.
