Las Vegas Poker Player Vlogs

Jose would trick Nomad and send Ozzie Canseco in his place.

Ozzie is his identical twin brother who briefly played in the major leagues. Ten or so years ago Jose was supposed to do a celebrity boxing match and send Ozzie in his place. Someone noticed a tatoo (either missing or there that shouldn't have been- I forget which way) and realized he had pulled the old switcheroo.

Uncommon Skills of ELD in a Common World:

ELD has a Doctorate in Jurisprudence (J.D.) a Master's Degree in the Nomadic Method (M.N.M.) and a photographic memory with regards to baseball stats. ELD is also very skilled regarding graphs and grid production as well as schematic diagrams. If you need a proofreader, ELD has that covered as well with his top level grammar and spelling abilities.

ELD can survive in a high inflation low salary economy since he has reduced his expenses to nearly zero.

ELD is a Cornell Alumni and is adept at riding the monorail and explaining directions to Allegiant Stadium.

Here you go diesel, you can use this. If your best childhood friend sees this, please send to diesel. Full in the blanks and tweak at your leisure. YW

Your Name]
[Your Phone Number] | [Your Email] | [Your Location]

Objective

Passionate and knowledgeable poker player transitioning into a poker dealer role. Leverage extensive game experience, strong knowledge of poker rules and strategy, and developing dealing skills to create a professional and enjoyable experience for players.

Skills & Qualifications

Deep understanding of poker rules, hand rankings, and game flow

Ability to manage game pace and enforce rules fairly

Strong mental math and chip-handling skills

Comfortable engaging with players and maintaining a professional demeanor

Experience handling high-pressure situations and maintaining game integrity

Poker & Dealing Experience

Aspiring Poker Dealer | [Casino or Poker Room, if applicable] | [Year-Present]

Completed [Casino/Poker Room] dealer training (if applicable)

Practicing and improving shuffle, pitch, and chip-handling techniques

Assisting in games or working in low-stakes events to gain hands-on experience

Professional Poker Player | Self-Employed | [Years Played]

Played in live and online poker games, developing expert-level knowledge of poker strategy and game mechanics

Managed bankroll, calculated odds, and read opponents to make informed decisions

Experienced in casino environments and understanding player dynamics

Additional Experience (If Applicable)

[Previous Job Title] | [Company] | [Years]

Transferable skills: customer service, handling money, working in high-pressure environments

Education & Certifications

Poker Dealer Training Program (if completed) | [School/Casino] | [Year]

High School Diploma or equivalent

References

Available upon request.

Might as well get trooper a head start too. Don't want him to be left out

Timmy
[Your Phone Number] | [Your Email] | [Your LinkedIn (if applicable)] | [Your City, State]

Professional Summary

Dedicated and service-oriented hospitality professional with extensive experience in fine dining and a background in entrepreneurship. Adept at delivering exceptional guest experiences, managing high-pressure environments, and demonstrating strong problem-solving skills. Passionate about food, wine pairings, and creating memorable dining experiences. Seeking to leverage my customer service expertise and leadership skills in a fine dining server role.

Skills & Qualifications

Fine dining service & etiquette

Wine & cocktail knowledge

Upselling & guest engagement

POS systems & order accuracy

Time management & multitasking

Leadership & team collaboration

Conflict resolution & problem-solving

Professional Experience

Sparkli Sweets– [City, State]
Owner & Operator | [Years of Operation]

Launched and managed a gourmet candy business, overseeing all aspects of operations, customer service, and product development.

Provided exceptional guest experiences through tastings, custom orders, and personalized service.

Managed inventory, supplier relationships, and budgeting to optimize profitability.

Developed strong sales skills through direct customer interactions and marketing efforts.

Navigated challenges, adapted to market demands, and gained valuable problem-solving experience.

[Previous Fine Dining Restaurant] – [City, State]
Server | [Years Worked]

Delivered high-end dining experiences with expert knowledge of menu offerings, wine pairings, and table service etiquette.

Maintained a polished and professional demeanor in fast-paced, upscale environments.

Anticipated guest needs and provided personalized recommendations to enhance their experience.

Consistently exceeded sales targets through effective upselling and guest engagement.

Collaborated with kitchen and bar staff to ensure seamless service and guest satisfaction.

Education & Certifications

[List any relevant degrees, hospitality training, or certifications, such as ServSafe or TIPS Alcohol Certification]

References

Available upon request.

Last one. This is for you pman!

Pman
[Your Email] | [Your Phone Number] | [Your City, State]

Objective

Aspiring adult seeks entry-level opportunity to prove that years of avoiding responsibility have actually been preparation for the workplace. Ready to bring enthusiasm, unique problem-solving skills, and an unmatched ability to function on minimal effort to a team environment.

Skills & Qualifications

Expert Multitasker – Can game, snack, and ignore responsibilities simultaneously.

Conflict Resolution – Years of experience talking my way out of chores.

Time Management – Mastered the art of procrastination but always delivers at the last minute.

Adaptability – Can go from sleeping in until noon to pretending to be a morning person overnight.

Tech-Savvy – Extensive experience with video game consoles, social media, and pirating software.

Creativity – Can craft the perfect excuse for any situation.

Experience

Freelance Problem Solver
Self-Employed | Since Birth – Present

Navigated complex challenges, including surviving on minimal income and convincing parents I was “figuring things out.”

Built and managed an extensive network of online friends while avoiding human interaction in real life.

Developed advanced negotiation skills through years of debating why I don’t need a “real job.”

Household Resident
Parental Housing | [Year Moved In] – Present

Managed food and supply inventory, with a specialization in late-night fridge raiding.

Provided emotional support (sometimes) to household members, mostly pets.

Served as an unpaid consultant on TV show selections and internet router troubleshooting.

Education

[High School or College Name] (If Applicable)
Years Attended | Degree (or "Some College, No Degree" for authenticity)

References

Mom (Will say I have “so much potential”)

Dad (Unavailable for comment)

Best Friend (Can confirm IÂ’m great at Call of Duty and making plans I wonÂ’t follow through on)

I think it's hilarious and kismet when there's discussions of the thread slowing down, then El.D drops his entire resume and correspondence history in a video

YouTube Comment:
Your half ass attempt to get on the roster makes it clear that you did not want the gig. You send ONE email, and then do nothing FOR FIVE WEEKS?!? Don’t call the poker room? Don’t check website? Nothing?? Just one email to one guy you HEARD was doing the hiring. If you WANTED the gig, you would have tried harder.

Rice's Repy:
You seem like someone who believes in magic

Is there really actual evidence that this loser goofball ever had any form of higher education?

I counted the number of sentences in his resume that begin with "I this" or "I that" and it came to 13.

I live...
I want...
I will...
I will...
I know...
I have...
I worked...
I dealt...
I dealt...
I know...
I split...
I do...
I know...

Seriously who writes a resume in that format?

Funny thing is he probably believes it to be the world's best written resume, hence why he proudly put it in his video for all to see lol

In todays video Skater Nomad shaves in the Honda using a rearview mirror and then wins $320 on roulette in Jamul and sleeps in the CRV at Jamul after installing a twin air mattress in the back.

In Rice's mind it's his way of repaying his friends for all the restaurant dinners that he bums off them

ELD will use the fine China in the air bnb kitchen to serve the high cuisine goolash rice completed with a packet of hot sauce and mayonnaise packet with plastic spoon. Classical music shall be playing in the background during dinner. The finest Red Gatorade will flow freely in champagne glasses.

And for desert, milkshakes.

And a side of ecoli

The funny thing is that last year he was talking about trying to get the dealing gig at The Orleans for probably a month or more before he got hired, and on the day of the audition, he had no idea that they were auditioning that day.

I was the one on that day in the morning to post in his YT replies about the audition that same day with a link and the next day in his video showing him going to the audition he said he didn't know about it until he saw someone mention it in the comments. lol

Sixth graders. Maybe the single worst line might be "I want to deal...". If I read that, it gets ****canned right there.

Considering how he played last year, you might have single-handedly kept him off the soup line.

You better be careful, he might try to repay the favour with a rice cooker Jambalaya stew or sardine slurry.

His uncommon skill was not applying like hundreds of others.

On an air mattress just like a lot lizard.

If Rice needs references, he can pick anyone in the thread.

Miserable?

I lived in the Vegas storm drains until Rice began posting his vlog.

Since then, I have done the opposite of everything he has done.

For example, I am lying by the pool in 80 degrees and Rice is freezing his a** in BFE.

It just occurred to me.

Rice gained admission to Cornell as a DEI student.

That was over 10 years ago. Was that a thing back then?

ELD could exit the train at the Rio and then redeem his Rio offers and get another Rio haircut as well.

I thought the same when I watched it. Who, when asking for a job, says "I want to deal..." instead of "I would like to deal..."? I mean an 8-year-old would I suppose.