A raging fish on a heater

ya gotta get back in the game bro and pound MTTs. u love MTTs.

$306 is my roll. Thats all that I own.
I should be at $5000.
Man what am I doing.
If I only didnt play blackjack for $550 I would have enough money for until Sunday but now I got at tops two days of grinding before I Go busto....

sattied into the big $109, lets PLZ win and hold all essential hands PLZ BABY JESUS

and things keep getting better,
just broke my watch when i smashed the table with my fist 😀
amazing guys, amazing.
my net worth is $128 atm.
busted the $109 big. with a flush vs a flopped full house.
and i was finished in a sat for the $55 bounty builder but i just punted it off 😀

guys this was what some son of whores expected and it came true.

i tilted it all off 82 bucks left.

i got the urge to ****ing smash my room into ashes and dust like its pure ****ing violence in my veins right now.

Don't do that

So based on what you've posted here, 8 days ago your roll was 3.3k after paying off all of your debts. You then limited yourself to 10nl and $16.50 mtts max. After that, your non-poker expenditures were:

$350 on a Harry Potter tattoo
$200 on caffeine pills
$60 on a live tip after cashing an MTT
$120 to your dad for his mercy
$60 to your dad but this time no mercy because it wasn't enough for him
$550 on blackjack

= $1340

So in 8 days you lost nearly 2k playing 10plo, $16.50 mtts, and live poker?

Thanks for the calculations.
I gave my dad $1300 from my roll also, which I didnt previously write. But that was from my first bink.

Lost another $200 which I loaned.
Played j2hh and bluffed my last $60 off.

I am on such a ****ing tilt that its not belieavable, I might hurt either someone or myself very badly. I am absolutely fuming.

On 0 now.
Had a run in the $33 bounty builder was chipleader in the anfang.
Lost kk vs qq q on river and punted away my remaining stack.

I am whole heartedly worried about my potential of destruction for whatever comes in my way now.
I get salary on the 25th.
Will also my merciful father for a loan, of my own money which is kind of his money now.

I dont even ****ing understand how I ended up here.
Just a week ago I was on top of the hill.
Now I am in the ditches laying for dead waiting for the crows to eat up my carcass.

I shouldnt ****ing have sent my dad 1/4th of my whole winnings before securing $10k.
I will kindly ask him tomorrow for a portion of the money back.
Will probably get a denial but its worth a try.

Your playing way too high of buyins....shot take here and there if you have to but your firing $109s with $300 to your name that's insane.

With bankroll management like that going bust is inevitable.

Don't hurt yourself or do anything stupid though man it's not worth it you only lost a couple grand in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter much.

Ultimately you need to work on your discipline more than anything.

I do sattelites.
I never buy in for more than $16.50.

It matters a lot to me.
Im crippled now again and deathly busto.

Well if you do $11 sattys for $109 the amount of times you will win the satellite AND cash the tourney is like 2-3% so that isn't good bankroll management either. Because now it's a 2 step process to actually making any money.

I know it matters man but it's not the end of the world. Your only 30 and look like you are in good health. Go work some shitty but relatively high paying job like roofing and you can make that back in 2 weeks.

You absolutely have to sort out your tilt and discipline issues or the same thing is just going to keep happening over and over again.

I've had problems in the past myself so I know from firsthand experience. One thing I did at one point was send my friend most of my online roll (obviously you need a very trusted friend to do this) that way he'd have 90% of it and if I busted then he'd make me cool off for a day or 2 then send me 10-15% etc. Worked a lot better for me.

Or even better try to investigate the underlying causes. Remember poker is always here, you can't win all the money in 1 day. It's a long term game just make the most of every single buy in. Play every single hand to the best of your ability, if you make a mistake it's ok your human don't make it 20x worse by mega tilting and punting off every tournament.

If you cash a $11 satellite for a $109 you should be unregging and taking the tourney dollars.

I believe in you man I just want to see you do well, good luck let's fucking get it!!!!

this is as borderline as it gets man unreal plz stop this crazy **** and focus on your health for your own good and your loved ones!

Gambling addiction + mental illness is my guess

You don't study and choose to play the toughest games on the toughest site. It'll end in you going busto 100 times out of 100 because you aren't addressing the underlying issues.

Comeback is going to happen.
Getting my salary in 2 days, will stop punting.

PokerStars is doing server maintenance so I will go to the gym for now and just chillax.

Everything is going to be fine.

This one is personal, like the last one.
I was down on a 9 count but I am back again.
Got $50 bucks to my disposal and this time I will make it $10k and lock up the money.
Nothing or noone can stop me this time.

how about the crows?

i pressed F and resurrected.
high in spirits today, got $50 bucks to play for which $16.50 rn is in a hot hyper.
i will win the hot hyper and make the comeback back to $10k.

DUSTED IT ALL OF, oops caps xD
dusted it all of got a $3.30 to hot $33 left that's it.
edit: which i just bluffed off 😀

so officially broke as a dead crow.

Haha ganz hilarious