2023 NFL Conference Championships
#3 Kansas City Chiefs @ #1 Baltimore Ravens (-3.5. Total: 44.5)
12 PM PST, CBS
Kansas City Chiefs: 11-6, AFC West Champion
WC: 26-7 v Miami
Divisional: 27-24 @ Buffalo
AFC Championship Record: 3-3
Last Appearance: 2023
This is the 6th straight year the Chefs have made the AFC Championship. ****.
Also did you know Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce?
Also did you know Britney Mahomes was seen in the box with TayTay?
Why the Chiefs will be in the Super Bowl
You can sit here and lament the sheer boredom of this all you want but the reality is Patrick Mahomes is the only player in the NFL with GOAT equity. This offense ****ing sucks. Between all the drops, between Toney being alive, between Hardman doing whatever the **** that was and the Walrus allowing it to happen, it's truly wild Mahomes has gotten them here by sheer force of will. If you had to pick one QB in all the world to win a single game with your life on the line, it's Mahomes.
Baltimore Ravens: 13-4, AFC North Champion
WC: Bye
Divisional: 34-10 v Texans
AFC Championship Record: 2-2
Last Appearance: 2013
Not bad for a runningback
Why the Ravens will be in the Super Bowl
In the revolving door of MVP candidates this year, RB1 is the first one that is beyond repute and you can objectively say deserves the award. They have been the best team in the AFC by a WIDE margin, their defense has been fantastic and Zay Flowers has emerged as a competent WR which is a very new thing for Lamar. Andrews seems likely to return but even if he doesn't Likely has been phenomenal. If we are being honest, Buffalo beat themselves on Sunday. Baltimore has proven themselves to be too smart to fall for that bullshit
#3 Detroit Lions @ #1 San Francisco 49ers (-7. Total: 50.5)
3:30 PM PST, Fox
Detroit Lions: 12-5, NFC North Champion
WC: 24-23 v Rams
Divisional: 31-23 v Buccaneers
NFC Championship Record: 0-1
Last Appearance: 1992
Won't lie, it's a pretty ballsy bet to name your kid the god of sun and air and have him turn into one of the elite WRs in football
Also. YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF IN THE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Also. Detroit-style pizza pretty good
Also. FREEGEAR
Why the Lions will be in the Super Bowl
I'm not stupid enough to say "fate" so i won't. That said:
Dan Campbell is pretty **** it YOLO which is the kind of mentality you are going to need to beat a superior (on paper) team on the road.
The Random Number Borkerator can roll snakeyes, in which case fml this is going to be a long ****ing night.
The Lions are playing with house money literally regardless of what happens. While Goff hasn't exactly been a world beater the rest of the roster has been. Hutchinson is a ****ing monster, Campbell is no coward, this Gibbs guy seems decent and Sun and Air God is a decent receiver. Look, I just watched the niners almost lose to the Packers.
Which brings me to my next point: the 9ers are the only team left that objectively didn't deserve to win. The mistakes the Packers made do not seem to be mistakes the Lions will replicate; if the 9ers bring that same energy on Sunday the Lions are going to ****ing smoke them.
San Francisco 49ers: 12-5, NFC West Champion
WC: Bye
Divisional: 24-21 v Packers
NFC Championship Record: 7-11
Last Appearance: 2023
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
**** my life
My oven is screwed
Side note: if the 9ers win no matter who they play it'll be one of the 2 teams to beat them in a Super Bowl. So that's cool i guess.
Why the 49ers will be in the Super Bowl
Objectively speaking the 49ers are the best team in football. In the 12 regular season games they won they looked like generational greatness. In the 4 (**** you i don't count the Rams) losses they looked like ****ing buffoons with no concept for reality.
Until the Packers game there has never been a game where people could point to and say "Bork willed this team to victory" and look, Bork was the reason they almost lost, but with the chips in the middle he won that game.
The 9ers are fantastic at all aspects, but the reality of it is that the Random Number Borkerator needs to come up 11. That has already happened 12.5 times. Just needs to happen one more time.
Or who knows, maybe Kyle pulls a Womp and decides Bork won't throw more than 8 times. The only position where the 9ers are objectively inferior is idk maybe kicker? I shouldn't be worried. I am anyway.
Let's rumble
Now Reynolds catches it.
Campbell will get second-guessed a lot in the media for the 4th down decisions.
The 4th and 2 decision seemed ok to me. Basically results oriented thinking. Play call was so-so.
The 4th and 3 call was questionable. With 4:00 in the game FG would almost certainly be the correct call. With 8:00 going for it seems ok. In between that it really boils down to the chance of your QB making a play, not league averages.
The trickle down theory of stupidity.
random dude who had a walk in touchdown and decided to go OOB at the 2 instead might be about to enter the gamblers hall of fame
well that play call was a turd sandwich
LMAO RUN
The fg decision. I doubt everyone on the sideline was behind him.
He almost decided to go for it at the end of the half which would have been a terrible decision imo. He's Ron Rivera at peak Riverboat Ron. Being aggressive without a clear understanding of why he's doing it and when he shouldn't.
but he should've gone for the 1st down
Good lord
lol, they are going on 4th and missing +7.5 aren't they
ohhhhhhh
I really don't know why you're running it on 3rd down there at all though
holy hell. campbell is terrible
Vegas baby
Lions cover!!!!!!!
And the bettors are saved
I get the clock was running, but that timeout still seems awful. Have two plays called if you are going to run for some reason
I mean odds were low either way but running there was coaching malpractice
This back door cover is wild.
The fg decision. I doubt everyone on the sideline was behind him.
He almost decided to go for it at the end of the half which would have been a terrible decision imo. He's Ron Rivera at peak Riverboat Ron. Being aggressive without a clear understanding of why he's doing it and when he shouldn't.
Why do you think going for it was incorrect though? Thats the point. He didnt start anything. Seems like Lions more likely to win if you go for it there than if you kick the FG.
Then Reynolds just drops it.
That was almost exciting
It you plugged "To go up 3 scores to get to the Super in 3rd Q against a team having trouble scoring" into the formula, the computer would break out laughing, then melt down, then explode. Has nothing to do with being results oriented.
