2024 NFL Regular Season: g-bebe’s Lamar attempts to slay Dom’s Josh for title of mafia boss
You know, since the Super Bowl periodically i will watch the CBS Sinatra intro cuz it was ****ing magnificent. Halfway through i will remember how that game went and I will be dead inside. I hate myself enough that I will keep ripping off the scab. A niners fan in their 30s probably knows more heartbreak than any fan living, and I say that knowing that stupid ass team in upstate New York lost 4 straight Super Bowls. I come into this season knowing an inevitability that the 9ers will be good. Very good. And like that they've done for a ****ing decade they will find a brand new way to rip my ****ing heart out inches away from a Super Bowl. I am about to waste 5 ****ing months of my life bracing myself for the inevitable. With that in mind i come into this season with a new outlook:
**** you all. Every last one of you. Indiscrimenantly and unconditionally. All of you ****ers deserve pain and I wish nothing less than that for you. I jerked off when Rodgers tore his achilles 4 snaps into the season cuz I hate him. I am prepared to replicate that for the rest of you. I will bring you down to my level and laugh at your misery until nothing is left but ash.
With that in mind, welcome to the 2024 NFL season.
(Sorting by Super Bowl Odds)
Kansas City Chiefs, +600
Travis Kelce is a braindead mongoloid in a relationship of circumstance with a singer who looks like an abstract painting drawn by a drunk. Your quarterback has a voice that makes me think he sits in the corner and jerks off while his attention whore whore of a wife gets gangbanged to post on IG. His family is full of a sexual predator and a drunk ass father. You are coached by a man who is as objectively terrible at fatherhood as he is at portion control. YOU WANT THEM NUGGIES?! probably not as much as your kids wanted a present dad. Too bad one killed himself and the other killed someone else. But hey, he's got a mustache and he looks like the kool-aid man. WHAT A GUY! Your fans suck. Your forum should be under constant terror surveillance. You still do some racist ass chant because now that Snyder left someone has to wear the mantle of "**** you native americans this is our tradition now." **** you then. **** you now. **** you forever.
San Francisco 49ers, +600
GOD. ****ING. DAMNIT. **** this team that has taken so much of my soul I am certain if an afterlife exists neither side will claim me. Kyle Shanahan? If you choked on dick as much as you choke when it matters you'd either be dead of asphyxiation or your body would be 97% the cum of other men. I am a liberal of Middle Eastern descent rooting for a team whose marquee defensive player gets rock hard at the sight of Trump and whose 7th round QB is a member of Focus on the Family. The levels of moral compromise it takes for me to root for them is only offset by the fact that CTE exists and it all levels out in the end. Watch these ****ers go 14-3 and lose in the Super Bowl because, I dunno, they decide to do some nonsense like take a knee in the end zone to start OT
Baltimore Ravens, +1000
You ****ing worthless bastards. You had one one ****ing job and that was to get your fraud ass MVP RB1 WR1 to the Super Bowl to get your anus protruded. Congrats on giving the keys to your future to a guy so stupid his mom is his agent. The best player in your history was a murderer. The best RB in your history I'm pretty sure is also a murderer. The best QB in your history is basically a runningback who can occassionally throw a football which means he's basically black Julian Edelman with the ability to do an inside handoff. It warms my heart you will never win anything, not because the Chefs are in your conference but because Lamar ain't ****ing ****. You might be feeling a certain kind of way reading me say this but I also watched this guy implode at home in the AFCCG so the burden of proof is on you to tell me this guy ****ing matters. **** you
Detroit Lions, +1200
Bahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaa what can i actually say to you that God already hasn't. When you are a fan of Detroit sports you have already made a decision your life has no meaning or value. As a Niners fan it warms my heart that we own your ****ing asses. You idiots are so terrible at all things sports you let a guy catch a 50 yard pass off your ****ing helmet. Remember when the Giants swept the best Tigers team you'll ever have? I sure as **** remember. It's cute you think you matter cuz you have some retread QB with no talent other than the worst Super Bowl performance of the modern era and because you decided to give AMSR all the money. Have fun with the consequences of winning the first playoff games in the last half century. I see zero downside here.
Philadelphia Eagles, +1300
The most meaningless 10-1 start in history. No existence has ever shown itself to be more fraudulent than the hype behind "I SQUAT ALL THE POUNDS" and Nick Siriosis. Your QB is **** elevated by a gimmick. Your coach is **** elevated by coordinators who once upon a time were able to hide it. Your city deserves to be nuked from orbit. Nothing on earth means less to societal benefit than a Philly sports fan. You clowns combine the entitlement of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the stupidity of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the "my life has no meaning other than the team I root for" of Buffalo Bills fans. You suck so much I once bought a 2+2er a secret santa gift of 7 6ers tickets 1 in each section costing me a total of 20 bucks. That 2+2er lived in Atlanta.
Houston Texans, +1500
I don't give a **** about you
Cincinnati Bengals, +1500
The only good thing to come out of Ohio is the cry from help that comes from anyone who lives there. Skyline Chili? Have some ****ing self-respect you indulgent fat bastards. Stop trying to make Joe Burrow a thing. The only thing that separates that bleached hair ****boi from Boomer Esiason is a cigar. Also the best QB you ever had before this literally chose to name himself BOOMER. No part of me can take you seriously no matter how much you all dEmAnD tO bE tAkEn SeRiOuSlY. You go to a stadium that looks so decrepit I can't rule out it was built in 2700 BC by the Pharoah's slaves to give the cheapest man alive your hard earned money to maybe watch 1 playoff game before you go to the bar and pass up your chance at pussy by telling whatever slag you found on a Craigslist personals ad your hour long retrospective on how Akili Smith just had bad luck
Buffalo Bills +1500
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
You people are something else. Leave it to the team Bon Jovi and Trump couldn't trick people into letting them buy to gloss themselves a mafia because they jump through tables and show up to 0 degree weather games topless and blackout drunk on PBR. 4 Super Bowl Losses Were Not Enough. I fully expect Dom and that other half_nit to scream about how they're going to kill me for this post before they fall asleep in a puddle of their own piss and vomit surrounded by bottles of miller high life and wake up confused about why Josh Allen threw 7 picks in a game they missed. Spare me. I don't care. You guys will suck forever
Dallas Cowboys, +1800
Remember the time Zeke was your lone lineman in the last play of a playoff game? Remember that the coach who drew that up is still your coach? I can't prove it but your owner is a pedo. Jerry will outlive all of you which means that you will never ever ever see a Super Bowl appearance much less a win. ****, you're a dog to even make an NFCCG. But you know what? you deserve it. Every last element of the Dallas Cowboys, their fans, the city of Dallas, the state of Texas is a constant reminder to any decent human being that life can be much, much worse. Imagine being the sole thing on this ****ing earth Stephen A Smith can dunk on.
New York Jets, +1800
On my ****ing life I hope the season opener includes the paralysis of RFK Jr's VP and Podcast Punter's meal ticket. I will happily accept the niners never winning another ****ing game if they end his career opening night. The NFL has included rapists and murderers and somehow I hate the most overrated QB in the history of the game more than any of them. Aaron Hernandez literally got sentenced to life in prison and hung himself and I think Rodgers deserves the chair more. Rae Carruth had someone kill his baby mama and I think Rodgers has a greater claim to being buried under Guantanamo.
J
E
T
S
YOU
SUCK
DICK
Your levels of desperation of disrepair has brought you to this point. Your team is such a ****ing joke Bardy made a 9/11 joke about you that brought the house down.
Green Bay Packers, +1800
Imagine having Favre and Rodgers for 2 decades and ending up with as little as you did. Imagine having the 2 best QBs in your existence be the guy in that movie where that woman put cum in her hair as gel and ended up scamming the state of Mississippi who sends random dick pics to reporters and a guy who is someone more hatable than THAT. It's fitting that the public owns the Packers because you all deserve to wear this. You stupid cheesehead wearing halfwits. I've been to Wisconsin once. The only thing redeemable about that shithole is that I could leave it. And even that seemed dicey.
To the rest of the teams i have not named in this post it is because i do not care enough about you to write paragraphs about you. The panthers have a midget as a QB, the browns have a sexual predator. The boncos have a pill popping piece of **** as their coach, the stealers are lol, pray at the feet of a rapist and have concussion water as their QB1. The Chargers have a coach who sleeps over at the homes of kickers who are not of legal age to make sure they don't go to anyone else but daddy. The Jaguars have the HPoolV stadium and are owned by a guy in a cartoonish mustache with a son who is not Triple H
I wish you all pain. I will not suffer alone.
Let us football
Mod Edit:
List of Other Team Votes with Selection:
newguyhere: Dolphins
marknfw: Cowboys
Yeah Hurts is clearly not 100% and the Commanders already said they are going to hit him ****ing hard if he runs. So he’s one hit away from being even compromised.
Saquon had 2 TD each game vs Wash.
I think your logic is fine. My only comment is that Gainwell is also decent at the goal line and could take away some Saquon redzone TDs even if Hurts can't push.
But I really hope you win this bet.
The Eagles seem really banged up and I hope the OL, Saquon, and the defense can bring this home. If Hurts was healthy, i think the eagles would be pass heavy in this game.
Amid Mahomes angst, NFL eyes replay on slides
it appears that ROG is finally going to get serious and address the b.s. antics involved when Mahomie escapes the pocket, scrambles and pretends to begin to slide, etc.
long overdue
Allen may have the most egregious example of pretending to slide, no?
quantity
AiM, what's the line on when CJGJ will be ejected?
sorry mark
Two players with 3 TDs rushing in a playoff game. Ever before in Super Bowl era??
Joshua Patrick Allen
NFL experience: 7 seasons
Super Bowl appearances: zero
JAWSH
Certainly felt like the game was over after 21-10, then BUF rattled off that incredibly quick score. Was a very close game overall.
That dumb play sequence when BUF was up 1 and failed to get first down with 2 chances for a yard was probably the momentum changer, besides preventing BUF to go up 8.
Yippee
Fair result tbh. Jawsh recovered 3 fumbles and threw at least 3 interceptible balls and got lucky not to turn it over.
He played very well as he always does but KC D was a little better
Cook is a beast. Surprised they didn’t feed him more. They’re gonna pay him well this offseason
Fair result tbh. Jawsh recovered 3 fumbles and threw at least 3 interceptible balls and got lucky not to turn it over.
He played very well as he always does but KC D was a little better
Cook is a beast. Surprised they didn’t feed him more. They’re gonna pay him well this offseason
Only 13 carries seems like a serious coaching mistake when he got ****ing 85 yards.
Dom I think you agreed to stop posting about the Bills but if you could give me your thoughts on that and the game at large I’d appreciate a PM from you.
oh
my
god
a lot of dead time bt now and the SB. we'll need some filler to fill the void
here's my initial outlook at what the bungles may do/should do w their 1st Round pick (#17 overall)
i think regardless of what happens w Tee, if Egbuka (WR, tOSU) or Warren (TE, PSU) are on the board you can't pass either one up (i'd take Egbuka if they were both available)
acting on the assumption that they will both be off the board, select Williams (DT, tOSU) at #17. better yet, though, attempt to trade back into the 20s and land either Revel, Jr. (CB, ECU), Booker (G, Bama) or Campbell (LB, Bama) -- in that order of preference
Only 13 carries seems like a serious coaching mistake when he got ****ing 85 yards.
Dom I think you agreed to stop posting about the Bills but if you could give me your thoughts on that and the game at large I’d appreciate a PM from you.
Kudos to Dom for being able to resist the temptation during and after that game.
What's weird is that no one said, "Oh man, Bills vs. Chiefs AGAIN? This sucks! Let's get some new blood in the AFCCG!"
People couldn't have been more hyped. And I get it, I'd probably feel the same way. But I'm not sure why.
Is it just because Hurts isn't as exciting as Allen? Or because there's no huge AFC/NFC rivalry, so people would rather see new blood in the Superbowl?
It is because people wanted Allen to triumph over Mahomes in the QB supremacy legacy battle and all that good 1st take espn fs1 talk radio twitter stuff
if Eagles beat Chiefs, it is just some well oiled machine doing it rather than legacy defining for a player or 4-5 years in the making
also, people sick of Chiefs in SB, especially with the refs thing
but polarity is good obviously, people love to root for them to lose even if they wont admit it
we're witnessing greatness though. Maybe I'm alone on this, but I like having a really dominant team
I would have preferred the Commanders/someone else to get there other than the Iggles (for lol Philly reasons) but I'm happy the Chiefs are there. I liked it when the Pats were doing it too.
fortunately I rarely go on to twitter and never listen to sports talk radio but I view casual fans ranting about crooked refs and fixed the same way I view the grown men who unironically dress every other week in full dress costumes with painted faces to go to games
also, it's fun having tortured franchises and fans.
Notwithstanding the Dom thing, Allen is the clear second best QB and probably player in the NFL and goes really hard, plays really ****ing well and then can't get there. IMO, it's really fun to see his sad face after every playoff loss
also people couldn't really do the oh man chiefs again thing going into AFCCG, they beat the texans
beating bills was far far less likely than texans, so them not playing in SB was more of a possibility
thats other main reason
besides ravens/bills played, so people saw that matchup in the divisional...didnt need to see it in afccg
