2023 NFL Conference Championships
#3 Kansas City Chiefs @ #1 Baltimore Ravens (-3.5. Total: 44.5)
12 PM PST, CBS
Kansas City Chiefs: 11-6, AFC West Champion
WC: 26-7 v Miami
Divisional: 27-24 @ Buffalo
AFC Championship Record: 3-3
Last Appearance: 2023
This is the 6th straight year the Chefs have made the AFC Championship. ****.
Also did you know Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce?
Also did you know Britney Mahomes was seen in the box with TayTay?
Why the Chiefs will be in the Super Bowl
You can sit here and lament the sheer boredom of this all you want but the reality is Patrick Mahomes is the only player in the NFL with GOAT equity. This offense ****ing sucks. Between all the drops, between Toney being alive, between Hardman doing whatever the **** that was and the Walrus allowing it to happen, it's truly wild Mahomes has gotten them here by sheer force of will. If you had to pick one QB in all the world to win a single game with your life on the line, it's Mahomes.
Baltimore Ravens: 13-4, AFC North Champion
WC: Bye
Divisional: 34-10 v Texans
AFC Championship Record: 2-2
Last Appearance: 2013
Not bad for a runningback
Why the Ravens will be in the Super Bowl
In the revolving door of MVP candidates this year, RB1 is the first one that is beyond repute and you can objectively say deserves the award. They have been the best team in the AFC by a WIDE margin, their defense has been fantastic and Zay Flowers has emerged as a competent WR which is a very new thing for Lamar. Andrews seems likely to return but even if he doesn't Likely has been phenomenal. If we are being honest, Buffalo beat themselves on Sunday. Baltimore has proven themselves to be too smart to fall for that bullshit
#3 Detroit Lions @ #1 San Francisco 49ers (-7. Total: 50.5)
3:30 PM PST, Fox
Detroit Lions: 12-5, NFC North Champion
WC: 24-23 v Rams
Divisional: 31-23 v Buccaneers
NFC Championship Record: 0-1
Last Appearance: 1992
Won't lie, it's a pretty ballsy bet to name your kid the god of sun and air and have him turn into one of the elite WRs in football
Also. YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF IN THE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Also. Detroit-style pizza pretty good
Also. FREEGEAR
Why the Lions will be in the Super Bowl
I'm not stupid enough to say "fate" so i won't. That said:
Dan Campbell is pretty **** it YOLO which is the kind of mentality you are going to need to beat a superior (on paper) team on the road.
The Random Number Borkerator can roll snakeyes, in which case fml this is going to be a long ****ing night.
The Lions are playing with house money literally regardless of what happens. While Goff hasn't exactly been a world beater the rest of the roster has been. Hutchinson is a ****ing monster, Campbell is no coward, this Gibbs guy seems decent and Sun and Air God is a decent receiver. Look, I just watched the niners almost lose to the Packers.
Which brings me to my next point: the 9ers are the only team left that objectively didn't deserve to win. The mistakes the Packers made do not seem to be mistakes the Lions will replicate; if the 9ers bring that same energy on Sunday the Lions are going to ****ing smoke them.
San Francisco 49ers: 12-5, NFC West Champion
WC: Bye
Divisional: 24-21 v Packers
NFC Championship Record: 7-11
Last Appearance: 2023
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
**** my life
My oven is screwed
Side note: if the 9ers win no matter who they play it'll be one of the 2 teams to beat them in a Super Bowl. So that's cool i guess.
Why the 49ers will be in the Super Bowl
Objectively speaking the 49ers are the best team in football. In the 12 regular season games they won they looked like generational greatness. In the 4 (**** you i don't count the Rams) losses they looked like ****ing buffoons with no concept for reality.
Until the Packers game there has never been a game where people could point to and say "Bork willed this team to victory" and look, Bork was the reason they almost lost, but with the chips in the middle he won that game.
The 9ers are fantastic at all aspects, but the reality of it is that the Random Number Borkerator needs to come up 11. That has already happened 12.5 times. Just needs to happen one more time.
Or who knows, maybe Kyle pulls a Womp and decides Bork won't throw more than 8 times. The only position where the 9ers are objectively inferior is idk maybe kicker? I shouldn't be worried. I am anyway.
Let's rumble
Let's say Chiefs and Lions win on Sunday.
Has a season ever started and ended with the same 2 teams playing each other?
They'll also punish him if doesn't go for it.
The obvious path to the SB for the Lions is to go for it and not miss.
This
The lions only path to victory (and to be clear, this is not an unlikely path) is Campbell floors the gas pedal and gets there enough times to keep the Niners chasing and Bork flustered
Any deviation from that aggression and the lions are ****ed
This
The lions only path to victory (and to be clear, this is not an unlikely path) is Campbell floors the gas pedal and gets there enough times to keep the Niners chasing and Bork flustered
Any deviation from that aggression and the lions are ****ed
I agree.
The Lions can't even pause to spit out a kneecap. Just swallow it and go get the next one. The enjoyment of a big meal will linger long after the game is over.
Spoiler
Andrews and Deebo both active
lol acting like the lolions only path to victory is playing perfectly + being super aggro + running hot + etc, as if there isn't a ~50% chance that bork just pukes all over his dick or whatever. i mean, am i the only one who didn't see the packers game? for example
I’m not saying they have to play perfectly or run hot, I’m saying they MUST be super aggro. It got them this far and they can’t afford to abandon that on the road against a theoretically better team
Plus it’s gonna be 72 and sunny
I give the lions a decent shot at winning this game, i by no means think is gonna be a pushover, but if Campbell is punting or kicking field goals on 4th and 3 or less I like the 9ers chances
sure. campbell has been aggro all year afaik, doubt he'd change now, but you never know until a guy is put to the test. i assume he'll keep going for this year at least and/or until it stops working
predicting goff has opportunity to take a knee, and after initially being pensive, subsequently lowers mouth towards patella in a display of solidarity
take my advice, precedent shows prose isn't always the goal
Don't understand why they couldn't have a game today and a game tomorrow.
Was gonna bet both underdogs.. Bookie is all in on purdy, toughest player prop odds. Thinking about it, his qbr is pretty high. Im scared... can't let Purdy wreck me. Just going with chiefs
Was gonna bet both underdogs.. Bookie is all in on purdy, toughest player prop odds. Thinking about it, his qbr is pretty high. Im scared... can't let Purdy wreck me. Just going with chiefs
Purdy can have a big game. It's the Lions after all.
But if the 9ers win, then you hammer the O on his interception prop in the SuperBowl.
I preface this by saying I wish the lions fans no ill will and if the Niners don’t win it all I hope detroit does, so don’t @ me or hate me for this
I was nervous about this game but then I heard the last 12 hours of pundit hype on the lions train by espn et Al and realized nobody has a good reason why the lions will trainwreck the 9ers (seriously that’s the movement) other than Purdy sucked against Green Bay
Purdy was by no means great except for a couple throws and the final drive, but goff was just as bad. A couple of dropped end zone picks by the Bucs completely ignored and the Niners ain’t the Bucs
This will be an interesting game
I was nervous about this game but then I heard the last 12 hours of pundit hype on the lions train by espn et Al and realized nobody has a good reason why the lions will trainwreck the 9ers (seriously that’s the movement) other than Purdy sucked against Green Bay
What are they supposed to say? "49ers -7 easy, don't waste your Sunday watching the game. Go out and do some stuff with your family!"
They are in the business of selling the games, no matter if they seem one-sided or not.
lol at watching ESPN
