Online dating thread

Depends on his age. If he's in his 30s or worse, 40s then isn't

plenty of women with degrees good careers etc date bad boy broke losers thinking they can fix them.

Why become a successful boss bitch if not to flip the gender dynamic?

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I don't know if PW is trolling or not, but either way he's right.

And speaking of bosses, PW is the true boss of this thread, y'all better recognize.

There’s a lot to be said for not ever dipping your pen in the company ink as well. Creates far more problems than it does anything else.

I get that meeting chicks in the real world may be tough if you are busy working and doing other things, but fishing out of the company pond is generally not a good idea at all.

yes it can go badly, but it's also a super common thing and it's not like he's crossing any lines

It is super common, thus the cautionary idiom.

I understand the concerns, there just happens to be some good prospects at work. I guess I’ll just have to accept the risk and try and be discreet about it.

In any case I’ve managed to keep office things on the down low before

I had a really horrible experience talking to a girl from work. We were both toxic *******s and she was on the rebound from a really long abusive relationship, so it was destined for failure from the start, but it got bad bad.

Dating at work is accepting that getting laid is more important to you than your job. There is nothing wrong with that. Just need to be aware and honest with yourself up front. Especially if the plan is to hit up 3-5 different women.

i think as long as nobody directly reports to each other and sandra is able to do it without being known as the guy who is cycling through all the single women in the office it will be fine

lot's of companies actually encourage interoffice relationships because if the relationship lasts, they are far less likely to leave the company, they get into a routine of driving in together, scheduling vacations at the same time, gossiping about that bish Jan, etc - also much more difficult for a rival company to poach one of them because they'll come as a package deal

big reason why schools prefer to hire teachers who are married to each other

my brother married his colleague, they waited several months before going public and the office was all about it - and she ended up staying at the company far longer than she wanted to as a result because she was worried about how exiting on bad terms could potentially harm his career

I reckon I had sex with well over a dozen women from work during my corporate career. I was in advertising where it was probably more accepted than more buttoned up industries. And there are a lot of really hot girls in that industry too.

In the pre app days when I was operating, if you didn’t like going up to people in bars, which I didn’t, then work along with friends of friends were by far the most fruitful places once you got out of college.

It definitely got difficult with one girl who was a total nut job. But benefits outweigh negatives, so long as you can handle the aftermath properly and respectfully.

Good fun having sex at the office too if you can handle the risk

I can only really think of three girls from work I’ve been involved with before (not at the same time!) but they all went fine just because I managed to keep it discreet, they weren’t too crazy (well one kind of was but I was very clear and fair in breaking it off and she took it fine) and the other two coincided with me leaving the company in the following weeks anyway

I can definitely see how it can go south if there is some combo of the girl is unhinged or the type to gossip, or is someone well connected to other girls in the company, or if you try and date two or more at the same time, or if you’re seen as agitating office politics or workflows, or if you’re a douchebag/don’t treat them fairly

I also think the whole topic has a negative/dangerous perception just because the general type of guys who relish embarking on office shenanigans are probably quite indiscreet and rambunctious on average, and it says more about how they manage the situation rather than the viability of the situation itself.

And while I do think you can do it right if you’re smart about it, I can definitely see potential issues with my specific situation this time so I’m just going to have to be careful

Why do you think I’m bragging? I hate living with women. I’m just informing dude that’s he’s completely wrong

Yep

I really don’t troll

Kiss your job good bye and open up risk of sexual harassment claims

Yep. Don’t do it.

It really just comes from the fact that you are essentially locked in a cage with that person for 8-9 hours a day. Even if things are going well that can cause issues. Things don't have to go horribly wrong for it to get uncomfortable or for HR to get involved.

But ultimately its like a hand of poker. You assess the situation and make a decision and seems you are willing to take the risk. Thats what life is about

Depends on the size of the company. When my dad got re-married to a co-worker, she worked in Queens while he worked in Manhattan.

i had a fwb situation with the woman i reported directly to at work - it did not end well

we're hanging out all the time and kind of hooking up a bit - we're both seeing other people so it's no big deal

she books us tickets for a weekend festival - a big camping event in the redwoods that is social media related - not influencers or anything like that - just regular people who like sharing photos

we're there for work though, work is paying for the trip, we're a sponsor, we're providing all the kegs of beer - so we're there as reps for the company

i needed to be in San Francisco anyway for a bunch of meetings around that time, she sees this and she sets this up around those meetings

this is something she setup, I'm there because I was in the area anyway, I'm just there to help where I can, this is 100% her project

she doesn't want to take the bus that everyone is taking (it's literally a big part of the thing where everyone meets at the designated meeting place and gets on a bus) so we rent a car at the airport and drive up there directly

camp attendees are mostly strangers, small group of friends signed up and its on this bus ride where they are intermingling and getting to know each other for the coming week up in the woods

it's maybe a little more than 100 people - mostly SF tech related as well

we all get there late afternoon and everyone is just kind of unpacking stuff in their cabins and getting to know each other/socializing around the fires

I'm put in a cabin with a bunch of dudes, she's put in one with a bunch of women - i find her cabin with her, drop her off to deal with her stuff - say I'll meet her at the campfire where everything is happening and go to my cabin, drop my stuff off on the bunk bed and then head out to where everyone is

i spend a little bit of time socializing, don't see her anywhere so go and find her - she's sulking at the cabin - she was under the impression this would be glamping, not the literal rental of children's summer camp which it was - she's not having it, she was expecting a nice bed and shower etc and can't believe she's in a bunk bed in a cabin with 12 other women

she's never camped before and wants to leave now - i try to cheer her up, console her a bit, explain that she'll get used to it quickly and it's only for two nights - further explain how it's not going to look well if she just abandons her project - company literally flew her out here to network and we're providing all the beer and if she just leaves now it's going to not go over so well

she's not happy, a city girl from a wealthy family - never didn't have luxury amenities and doesn't know how to handle it, eventually i convince her to head over to where everyone is by the bonfire and get to know people - ie why we are here

she walks over with me but is too upset to mingle, so now instead of mingling I'm trying to console her, we're sitting at a picnic table about 50 yards away from everything (because that's the furthest spot she could find to sit) - she's just sitting there crying, unsure of what to do, i kind of scooch in and put my arm around her

mind you we're there as sponsors and it's going to be known to people we meet over this weekend that we are work colleagues representing a company which helped sponsor the event - so even though we've hooked up a bunch prior to all of this, I am not planning on doing anything of that sort while we are here for professional reasons

i feel like this "PDA" is not ideal but this is in not sexual in nature, if anyone took a good look they'd likely see it for what it was, cheering up someone who was upset and she's literally bawling out and crying - i can't just walk away or sit there across from her

besides, it's kind of dark, the bonfire makes it difficult for those at the fire to see anything going on elsewhere unless they were to walk away from it and people are drinking as well

she then starts blowing me, which i prevent because we're literally wholly exposed sitting at a picnic table 50 yards from over 100 people, but she is very insistent and keeps trying

so i do the logical thing, lead her into the woods about 20 yards away and then behind the treeline just absolutely rail her standing up as she leans forward and braces against a majestic redwood

this was the prescribed solution - after getting blasted, the tears are gone, she's now happy and smiling and actually wants to go and meet people and socialize a bit - so we go do that - it was actually one of the most memorable sexual moments I've had - against a redwood, in pitch darkness, a huge bonfire with hundreds of people within sight, huge risk of getting caught, etc

by the time we finally join the bonfire, most people have already left to go to bed and those who are left are quite drunk - we stay til the end with the 5 or 6 people remaining and then i walk her back to her cabin, head over to mine and go to sleep

at like 5 am she comes over to my cabin and crawls into my bunk with me - in the process she's woken up a few of the bunkmates - i try to explain to her this is a terrible idea, she agrees and heads back to her cabin - after she leaves, one of my bunk mates tells me she came in there drunkenly around 2 am and said "hey is rickroll here" and we told her no because none of us had met you and didn't know there was a rickroll in the cabin

a few hours later i head over to her cabin, see if she's up and wants to get breakfast, we head over, again, she doesn't want to sit at other tables with other people, she just wants to find an isolated spot with just the two of us - ok whatever

people are now playing volleyball, i convince her to go play with me, so we join, get to know a few people, after a little bit she's done playing and just wants to sit and watch - as an attractive woman she instantly gets a few guys come sit down next to her (attendees were mostly single guys in late 20s to mid 30s) "to watch volleyball" and then engage her in conversation - as you can imagine she's quite popular

she gets up and tells me she's going to go swimming with those guys - I'm ecstatic, i was thinking how much this weekend is going to suck spending the entire time catering to her and now that she was finally getting into the spirit of things, so could I

don't see her rest of the day - we're in a remote area so there's no cell coverage

i check her cabin periodically but she's never there, at the activities and events i don't see her, did not see her at lunch nor dinner

I'm now getting a bit worried, maybe something happened to her, or maybe she got a ride and left?

meanwhile the camp really sucks - all the social groups had already basically formed on the bus or the bonfire the first night - so I'm this solo person roaming about from group to group and it's just super weird and awkward, nobody is really welcoming me in or anything - it's more of a toleration - oh this stranger just approached and asked to get in on the settlers of catan game, i guess we'll let him join, etc etc - it's a very miserable weekend where i now spend most of it near everyone else but just reading my book - even thinking about the event right now makes me really sad - it's way more awkward than all of the most awkward situations in high school put together - it's an utterly miserable experience

she's not in her cabin when i check in before going to bed, she apparently didn't sleep there according to her bunkmates who haven't seen her, I don't see her at breakfast either

so now I'm getting worried, i try talking to some staff saying - look i don't want to cause any alarms or anything, but i haven't seen my colleague for about 24 hours and she didn't sleep in her cabin last night - they are like "lol"

when i don't see her at lunch, I go back to the staff and begin to press the issue a bit more, I'm not talking "we have a missing person" or anything, I fully acknowledge it could just be variance etc but if there's anyway to find out this is indeed a nothingburger that'd be a big relief - they are now finally taking it seriously and about to figure out how to go about this when i see her coming in with a bunch of guys just before lunch ends - i tell the people - oh nevermind there she is and then wave to her and call out her name to which she completely ignores as if we don't even know each other - so now i obviously look like a psychopathic stalker to all the staff

i go up to her, say "hey how are you I was looking for you" and she again just brushed it off and walked away to go to the buffet

apparently my "hey we're here to represent a company together, we shouldn't be sleeping in the same child's bunk in front of a dozen other dudes" did not go over well - she was very upset about that "rejection" and went and found some guys who were more than happy to bunk up with her

the rest of the day she completely ignores me and pretends like i don't exist - if i am doing an activity with other people where she's involved she literally acts like we're strangers - so this is a massive letdown as I am 100% the odd man out here, I didn't get to know anyone while people were doing that because I was taking care of her and I wasn't an attractive woman who would just get invited over to join in and hang out like she was - she literally knew half the guys by now and I figured hey at least now I'll be introduced and included in stuff - but nope

there's hundreds of pictures shared online of this event - the only photo I've ever seen that includes a picture of me is the group photo, where I'm obviously standing awkwardly off the side away from the main groups

later that night she's asked to come on stage briefly to be acknowledged as a sponsor who provided the beers - as she does this, again because most people have no clue we know each other openly talk in front of me saying things like "she's banged at least 3 different dudes at this camp already"

that evening as I'm hanging out with people, given that it's mostly single men, she's a focal point of gossip, they refer to her as the camp bicycle

the next morning she comes to my cabin with her stuff all packed and ready to go (we have a 3 hour long drive back) and acts like nothing ever happened, she once again acknowledges my existence and acts like we're best friends again (we were actually really close and hung out all the time previously - was actually really looking forward to this because I thought it would be fun to spend a weekend camping with her)

on the ride back i ask wtf happened, what that was all about - she doesn't really have any response. i mention how I'm not hurt that she slept with others as we are not exclusive, but i felt the way she treated me was a bit messed up and that hurt a lot to be treated like she didn't even know me - i also went on and on about how she needs to be more discreet about that stuff because she was the focal point of gossip, which is not a good look considering that we're a sponsor people go home, they ask how the event was "oh it was great, this company sponsored all the beer and me and 2 buddies both banged the rep from the company" - i talk about how if she were there on her own then fine, but she was there for work and with me and then just totally discarded me and made sure the company just gets laughed at

she basically sits there in silence the entire time, doesn't say a word

we just drive down coastal route 1 in silence - the views are gorgeous, we pull over a few times to silently stare out into the ocean

she didn't like that talk we had, decided that was the end of us, which i was totally fine with given how she recently treated me

she envisioned this a romantic getaway for the two of us, yet not once had she ever disclosed this to me, we'd spent weeks preparing for this, pitching it to the CEO, having a gameplan of how we were going to go about it to get maximum value out of attending - she thought we could do that as a couple on a romantic weekend where it was just the two of us - she never once disclosed that plan to me and thus my "hey we're here for work it'll be a bad look if we're cuddling in a children's bunk together" was not well received at all - she took that as a huge fu and rejection - had she simply told me beforehand this is the entire reason she wanted to do the trip then i wouldn't have been all like "hey this is not a good idea, we can cuddle in bed in two days at our hotel in SF" but instead have gone along with it knowing it looked bad but apparently we didn't care about looking bad at all - it was all just a ruse to spend a weekend in the woods together

and I stayed in the bay area another week for work while she went back

when i got back, she decided she loved me too much and it would be too painful to see me all the time so i needed to quit or she'd find a way to fire me - she said that over text - i told her it doesn't need to come to that, we can just work together amicably and still be friends - she says she's serious and will start moving forward to fire me, i invite her out for a coffee to chat it over - she says she's made up her mind, i point out that if she tries to fire me I'll show them that text - she apparently thought i was bluffing and i show up one day saying I'm being let go for bad performance, i point out that i literally just received a raise for good performance, they say that this girl disagrees and so i show the texts - company has no idea what to do - they'd already processed the dismissal and killed my email/login credentials/etc

they tell me to go home, that I'm not fired but should take some paid time off while they sort this out - i check in every Monday, am told they're still working on it, after a few months the CEO finally responds to the text that they've made a decision and I should come on in - they tell me that they've fired her for what she did and on a wholly unrelated matter decided to close my department and me and all my teammates have been let go - they assured me it was it unrelated, just a coincidence and gave me a generous severance package and let me keep my stock options (which i didn't exercise)

What a lunatic. And there are way too many like this, or enough like this (in one way or another)to risk messing with them at your job. Now if you couldn’t care less about your job, then have at it.

yeah but like the worst part was it took a while before i accepted that she was committed to pretending like she didn't even know who i was - which made me us both look like crazy people

this was someone i hung out with all the time, we spent a lot of weekends together, had the same sense of humor, would laugh and joke about everything

so i'd assume "oh at lunch she was probably just hangry or whatever" so then when i see her a few hours later I'll go talk to her again and she'll pretend like i don't exist

remember the final night, some people are playing flip cup and i head over to join - it's a pretty closed off group and it's really hard to make any headway - so do i leave? do i stand there awkwardly until they feel obligated to let me join in? no, i choose to walk up to the girl who I'm very close with who is obviously the center of attention of these boys (they were all being so sweet to her hoping their turn was next) and start talking to her as this will be my lead in

she still just brushes me off and since these guys are not viewing me a colleague/friend of hers but instead a rival for her

"hey boss lady, how have things been?"
*no answer
"looks like you guys are doing flip cup, i'd love to join"
"whatever"
this guys butts in assuming I'm some rapist who'd been rejected by her already multiple times and she needs rescuing

"why don't you leave the lady alone"
"dude, we came here together"
*awkward silence

so then i play the world's most awkward flip cup game with a bunch of guys who just want me to leave

Well, if that story isn't proof to never turn down cuddling, I don't know what is

You gotta learn when a girl isn’t interested in you and leave it be.

She wanted to **** other guys and made excuses as to why it happened. You were the second option(or fourth apparently) . Sucks but it happens. Don’t get involved with women where they have the power in social settings. You’ll get embarrassed and used.

I dated this girl for a while. She told me her mom had gotten in Big trouble for stuff like this. Banging men at work then making them feel uncomfortable. Company had to settle a few sexual harassment suits.

After dating her daughter, yea Apple didn’t fall far from the tree

pw, love how your take away from that were pangs of my unrequited love - you're incredibly sharp - glad you're sharing with us itt

I didn’t think that’s what happened. I think you’re just unaware of your dates true intentions and you’re being naive.