Online dating thread

Online dating thread

I started this as a thread where 2+2 members could share advice on online dating. I'm 25 years old, and have had trouble finding a GF in person, so I've decided to try the online route.

I admittedly have no game when it comes to girls, as I'm a natural shy person, so I'll mostly be on the receiving end of the knowledge. As I improve, I'll share the wealth. :-)

From poker I've learned how helpful it is to have an advisor to give you advice and encouragement, and sympathize with you when you fail.

For starters, what are the best sites out there for free, and what sites are worth laying the money down for a subscription ? I'm on POF and OKcupid.

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05 December 2012 at 03:24 AM
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570 Replies

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by PointlessWords k

Maybe I should do an onlyfans video on how to finger a girl?

Dids once fingerbanged a girl to within an inch of her life. Still waiting on his video


sounds like we have a fingerbang4rollz in the works - i'll act as escrow



Every rose has its thorn.




The best way to fingerbang a woman is with your penis, PW.


Smart women are fun but too dangerous in the long run. Get a brain dead slut and enjoy yourself!


by Zeno k

All women are fun but too dangerous in the long run. Get a hot slut and enjoy yourself!

FYP.


thinking its ok to use the world slut is annoying


don't mind Zeno, his only reason to post is to annoy others.


by All-inMcLovin k

don't mind Zeno, his only reason to post is to annoy others.

Like all his fellow 12yr olds


I would love feedback on my current dating situation. Casually dating an azn chick I’ve talked about in this thread. She’s a smoke show (in my opinion) 5’2 90-95 lbs, successful career, moved to upstate ny due to an ex bf and is single now from nyc- super smart chick.

We have been on 7-8 dates. Stayed at her place this weekend, we slept together and I met her friends (they liked me thankfully). I tell her I want her to be my gf but she says she can’t see me being a dad/ husband yet (can’t see me cutting lawn, changing diapers of a baby, etc- I’m immature 35 year old sadly but I tend to disagree with these thoughts). She tells me we need to see each other for more weeks to see if she will change mind etc. sex has been solid and she keeps telling me she enjoys time with me and I get better each date yada yads- she isn’t using me for dinners etc as she has paid for a few dinners- me more but that’s fine.

Problem- she told me she’s being dating- I was in Vegas for 2 weeks and we talked on phone many times and sent numerous texts that were flirty. Both told each other we missed each other. She told me she went on date with nyc guy where she lives who is rich 40s (she’s 30), she’s not into him but is visiting him next weekend in nyc lolz. Another guy (Indian with same career) helped her build furniture and they went to dinner + drinks. She told me she has only slept with me since ex bf and she likes me: proof is I was over this weekend: she made me dinner from scratch and we had solid sex. I stayed over Friday night, and she made me dinner Saturday + met her friends Sunday. She has even told me she has went on dates and thought about me. In bed Saturday night- she was responding to Indian guy via text which annoyed me and I told her this as it’s like yo I’m in bed with you. I don’t text girls I date otherwise now. She’s prolly sleeping over my place later this week before her nyc trip. Am I a goof if I care what she does when we aren’t officially dating- I tend to kinda believe her but women are odd and lie. She seems trustworthy but idk: I find it odd she’s going to see nyc guy who was ex boss that told her at a dinner he wanted to date her + he’s older. Indian guy supposedly is moving to nyc in months which is prolly good and she told me he’s just a friend and she isn’t into him sexually (kinda believe that- she said he only dates brown girls normally). I get kinda offed out- she gets super sexual and flirty after 1-2 alcoholic drinks per what happened today at a cheap dinner. She gets a marg and get super flirty with me: no way I don’t see her ****ing other dudes when she drinks. Am I just being a goof and thinking too much?

I meet her friends on July 4 from nyc: honestly feel she would become my gf if they like me and approve. Met her friend here and the couple actually liked me and she told me they told her she should give me a chance. She told me personally- I think dating you would be great but I want my next bf to be my husband as I turn 31. She doesn’t know if I’m mature enough to be husband material and be a dad lol. I’m going to prolly play it out for 1 more month and see if anything changes but yea- I get kinda angry at her and told her: we act like bf/ gf- I don’t want a glorified fwb that I treat like my gf. We sleep at each others places, we do dinner and drinks, she made me dinner and breakfast, she let me shower at her place and came in when I was naked to do stuff. Call me crazy but this is bf/ gf stuff. Honestly think she likes me and will date me in time if I don’t do anything horrendous or she meets another better guy. Thoughts here? I can add to this as there is more to story.

Btw random lol note- I’ve been dieting and had trouble with my D staying hard due to strict diet. Thank god this weekend actually was normal after my Vegas 2 week trip and could stay hard. It was really embarrassing and I think I impressed her in the bed room which is a big deal. Not sure she will become my gf but I lean more toward yes as long as she doesn’t meet a better guy soon. For where I live- this chick is a massive catch- solid career and drop dead gorgeous. I never see 5’1 90-95 lb girls that look so good so I feel I’m def shooting up here even though I look my best since 25-26 due to diet and lifting weights. I get the vibe she wants to be my gf but is just making sure I’m solid marriage material as she told me she wants to marry next bf.

Final: it’s tough bc dating for me here in upstate has been so hit or miss. Most of the girls I’ve went out with so far have had massive red flags. **** careers, drinking problems, stds, etc- this chick seems super normal. Maybe a bit narcissistic and elitist a bit but she’s a sweetheart and doesn’t booze a lot or make bad life decisions. I’m really all in with eggs in one basket here as most girls on dating apps here for me: will not go on date with me or don’t fit what I want in a woman. I hate to say this but I will feel crushed if she rejects me as I don’t have many other solid options at the moment. I think it will work but just trying to be realistic and go hey” “ this might not work out” . When I’ve dated in past, I’ve felt this girl has treated me better than ex gf in the dating stage so I just can’t see her not becoming my gf soon. I feel it’s pretty obvious when dating if a girl likes you enough to become your significant other and she kinda mirrors that past few girls I’ve dated (just based on actions, affection, etc). She’s even taking up my hobbies (pickleball) and playing with me which I feel is a big green light that this could def go somewhere.


Nah bro, she's keeping her options open.

Probably will sleep with the guy shes going to see either as compensation or she feels might be more compatible and wants to check out the physical compatibility.

Bottom line, you're an acceptable placeholder.

She's still shopping.

Sent from my LM-V600 using Tapatalk


Think about it this way .

Would you be ok losing her if she won’t be your gf? Or would you be ok staying how things are now ?


re: only slept with you

while it could certainly be true - she's going to say that every time

people may say they are sleeping with others in generalities to keep the relationship enforced as casual, but they never talk about specific people they are sleeping with because that's just weird unless you're actively trying to foster jealousy - ie openly texting the indian guy in front of you in bed is a major red flag

are you asking for these details about the other people she's seeing? because if she's just randomly volunteering that info it sounds like a red flag where she's trying to manipulate you - ie do you think she thinks telling you that there's a bunch of soft competition (pun intended) that you'll now work harder to be the person she wants you to be etc?

spending weekend is big, meeting friends is tremendous

i don't think the "fastrack to marriage" is a red flag though, especially since she's asian - 31 is legitimately ancient as far as they are concerned - and i assure you that's all her relatives do is hound her to find a good husband fast because it's almost too late

if i were to guess she's either super manipulative and trying to push you to do certain things via jealousy or she's very confused because she genuinely likes you but you don't check the husband boxes she has so she's unsure how to proceed and kind of engaging in bf/gf stuff that she wants while also keeping the iron hot for the real husband search (and possibility allowing her heart to convince her brain to be less demanding in her husband criteria)

sounds like you really like her and if you actually think a potential marriage with her is a possibility then i would just tell her it's one or the other - she can't date you while actively seeking an upgrade - it could end a fwb situation prematurely which could have continued for a few more months but i think you'll be better off that way and she'll like/respect you more for asserting your self worth

but if you're not down for something serious and just want to continue boning then just go with it, who cares, and wait it out until she finds a rich guy without kids


by Eeyorefora k

Nah bro, she's keeping her options open.

Probably will sleep with the guy shes going to see either as compensation or she feels might be more compatible and wants to check out the physical compatibility.

Bottom line, you're an acceptable placeholder.

She's still shopping.

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Yup this is how I’m looking at it. It’s really annoying. I tend to believe some of what she says but I do think she’s boning other guys + keeping me around as a placeholder. I think if we don’t date in 3-4 weeks/ I’ll just call it quits bc it’s stupid to act like bf/gf if it’s just a glorified fwb situation. I tend to think she’s not lieing about the future husband thing- I’ll be honest: Info I have offered hasn’t helped my case regarding her seeing me as marriage material / future dad.

I do think she’s going to be my gf if I don’t royally **** up meeting her friends. Her friends today texted her I seemed like a good guy and I tried to connect with them over short span I met them. She even told me what they said- he seems like a good guy etc etc. honestly, it might not work out but I just get vibe she’s into me- she made me a really good meal for my bday that I picked and even let me sleep over: aka I don’t think a girl would do that if she wasn’t seriously interested. I do think I got F’ed by going to Vegas for a week and a half- aka if I knew I would meet her- I wouldn’t have went to Vegas and would have continued our dating. She hasn’t offered info but I asked about it- said are you going to see that guy you said took you out etc. she told me the guy wasn’t handsome but was wealthy- so if status is her thing here: I’m prolly royally ****ed. Guy doesn’t live in upstate ny thought which is prolly good and he is 40s and an old boss so idk maybe that works for me. Money wise- she might make 10-30k more than me but we both make 6 figures. I don’t think money is keeping me out of the picture here as I have a solid career with great benefits but prolly make some poor choices with gambling which I plan to give up completely if she becomes my gf. (I’ll quit live tourney poker and other forms of gambling if we somehow date).

I think it’s a red flag but also think azn culture is kinda unique and she doesn’t seem to understand standard American culture for dating. I’ve told her slightly about girls I dated and she even went out with a girl I kinda friendzoned (and I) due to me meeting the azn chick lol. Another azn girl that was a good girl but not as attractive and maybe more socially awkward. I’m trying to stay even keel and not expecting this to work out but I’m hopeful. It’s def tough bc she’s like a 12/10 for our area no joke. She dresses super sexy and is a super feminine chick. I kinda want her off the market asap bc I’ll be honest- she could easily find a top level guy if she wanted in our area but I do think my style and life matches what she likes- she told me I looked like a Brooklyn guy and she’s from that area (upstate ny tends to be super hickish for most part).

She likes to goof on my height a bit and says she likes guys that are 6 feet or taller (I’m 5’9- she’s 5’1 or 5’2). Will I get burned here? Probably but time will tell. I’m not looking for a fwb with her bc I know she will find a guy sooner and just end that situation. Sadly for me- I don’t have additional solid options at the moment which prolly hurts my chances of becoming over invested.

I really wonder if she likes other dudes- if she does and goes out with them plus has 2-3 drinks: I def see her ****ing them. She became so damn flirty after 1 margarita today. If she likes them even a little: she def boned them lmao. We aren’t in a relationship though so I feel that is standard for people to play the field and have fun. I really get vibe she’s an honest person and has a good heart so I tend to hope she isn’t lieing to me but I’m a realist. (Aka I do think she would lie to not hurt my feelings). Will keep the update on the situation in this thread- think in 2 weeks around her bday: I’ll know if she’s going to be my gf).


So you kinda know you are the placeholder but are still trying to be her boyfriend?

Honestly, that's cuck talk.

If she liked you for something serious there wouldn't be her dating other guys. She would focus more on you

You're just hung up on getting a hot girlfriend, even if it means being treated as an option.

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by Eeyorefora k

So you kinda know you are the placeholder but are still trying to be her boyfriend?

Honestly, that's cuck talk.

If she liked you for something serious there wouldn't be her dating other guys. She would focus more on you

You're just hung up on getting a hot girlfriend, even if it means being treated as an option.

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Meh kinda/ I mean she did just have me over the whole weekend and cooked for me. If she liked a local guy more than me- I don’t think she would have had me over/ she paid for 2 dinners also out of 3 so it’s not like I’m just buying her dinner and stuff and she’s using me for that reason. My Vegas trip def ruined our dating mojo somewhat even though we talked almost everyday on phone / a lot of texting.

She also invited me to go to Montreal with her bc her girl friends bailed on a trip. She cancelled the trip but was going to offer for me to come and she would foot whole bill for hotel and not have her girlfriends come. Maybe I didn’t add enough info in my post but there are a ton of positive signs also- she’s playing pickleball with me which is my hobby and she’s trying to learn. We have also discussed going on vacation at year end which I never see happening if we don’t become a serious relationship.

I’m slightly optimistic here but again I’m def open to I might be seeing it wrong and might be a placeholder. Like I honestly think from what she said/ next guy she wants to be her husband and she just doesn’t want to date me and then reslize she can’t marry me and have kids with me.


Building furniture together is probably code for some specific type of ****ing.


by All-inMcLovin k

Building furniture together is probably code for some specific type of ****ing.

Haha agree with this. I helped her build some furniture Saturday and we ****ed after lol

Btw feel free to lol. She wanted to invite Indian guy out Friday night bc I tried to get her to come to Albany we me and some friends I have (girls). I asked her- isn’t it awkward if we both go out bc you went out with both of us- I still kinda believe she doesn’t like dude and he’s just a friend but that is like a funny thought (she prolly boned him).

More red flags- she had like bruises on her legs: she said they are from moving but I’m skeptical lol.

The oddest thing- the Indian guy went to school with the girl I went on date with before Asian girl. So I took my new girl out to a board game club with the azn chick I friend zoned so they both connected on ig and she mentioned it was hilarious and small world that Indian guy went to hs with other girl I dated and friendzoned. My current girl was butthurt bc I told her other azn girl I friendzoned had a better nicer personality
Than her kinda. I’m ready to get bashed in this thread. Boys get your popcorn ready bc I’m sure you will get a lol results post in 2-3 weeks on this situation.

The one thing I think is great for me: she’s having nyc friends over for July 4 and already invited me over to meet them and hang out for a night. Worst case scenario here- I have a sexy FWB that lets me stay over whenever I want. She’s coming to my place before her nyc trip at end of this week. I’m hoping she cancels nyc trip bc she likes me but I see that as like a 2-5% probability of happening.

Btw final note what sucks about this situation. She lives like 40 min away from me and after work traffic to where she lives is really bad. I live in Albany and she’s in Saratoga Springs NY. 40 min commute is doable but def not ideal.


1. Don't force anything, if something happens it will happen. You have no real control over what she ultimately decides.
2. Act as chill and relaxed around her as you possibly can. I don't have to tell you that neediness is a highly undesirable quality.
3. Enjoy the ride. Have fun with her, **** her brains out, etc.
4. ?????
5. Profit


by All-inMcLovin k

1. Don't force anything, if something happens it will happen. You have no real control over what she ultimately decides.
2. Act as chill and relaxed around her as you possibly can. I don't have to tell you that neediness is a highly undesirable quality.
3. Enjoy the ride. Have fun with her, **** her brains out, etc.
4. ?????
5. Profit

#2 is what scares me. I feel I will come off as super needy. The great thing- I try not to text her often like at start of day. She almost always texts me to start off a convo like in the morning Monday- Friday. I’ve said I want you to be my gf and we have had awkward convos kinda about it but I plan to stop unless she brings it up going forward or there is like a point of no return (say in 2-3 weeks I just decide it’s all or nothing- I’ll have take and just end it if she says no: I can’t see you being a husband/ father). Like I’ve said- this chick is super responsive via text: I’ve never in my life had a chick be so responsive and flirty via text.

I really appreciate the thoughts posted on this thread. I prolly come off as a cuck but if you guys saw what this chick looked like vs the average chick in Albany and surrounding areas: you would understand my thoughts. Chick even has a super solid career. It’s hard to find beautiful chicks that have a top level career in upstate ny honestly.


The good news is that she’s being honest. And that’s actually a big thing and a good thing.

The bad news re that is it means she isn’t super bothered about if that hurts your feelings

‘Can’t see you being a dad yet’ = code for money and ‘prospects’. Doesn’t have to mean she’s a gold digger and women are very happy to take on projects if the raw materials are there but idk what you do for a living and how much $$ you make and what the future prospects of it are but I do think that’s the key, more so than ‘can he mow the lawn’

Idk, if I were you I would either

1. continue seeing her and ****ing her but draw back from the touch freely stuff - be nice but be stronger with her and hold back with the emotional stuff - also be a little hard to get and not always at her beck and call. And be strong with yourself about setting parameters and timing for how long you’re prepared to put up with that

2. Pull back immediately, tell her you like her but don’t want to mess around any more and won’t see her again until there’s a commitment

What you can’t do is give her all the emotional stuff and companionship she wants while she still sees other people. She won’t respect you and you’ll demean yourself


and never start the texting ffs. Let her text you and then take your time to get back to her.


Dude, looks aren't everything.

You seem to overlook everything not right in this situation and focus on her looks.

And to be honest, she sounds kinda mid as far as body type, the way you've described her.

Sounds like you're dating a Chinese ironing board.

A really pretty one.

But then beauty is subjective.

I've had friends that go on about a pretty woman and to me shes ok.

And I've thought a woman attractive but others didn't because they judged a woman's appearance on the idea if they had a chance with her.

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