the game is the game

DAY 11

OVERALL

HOURS/HANDS/WON/EV WON

Decent day. I didn't play as much as I had planned because I hit a wall mid day and had 0 energy so I decided to take a nap and max late reg the Stars 50k around 2100est. Made a small run but couldn't keep up and busted 172/1,123. For the first time in a long time I felt like I was playing my game again. One thing I love about poker is being able to play my game for long periods and not care about whether I win or lose. It is the most beautiful thing to me about poker. When I get stuck in the mental turmoil of sweating wins and losses I am truly a miserable human being that hates poker and thinks it's a stupid fvcking game. Staying in that loving frame of mind is my biggest challenge.

Plans for today is to review some tagged hands. Do some cardio and play 4-5 hours. Still alcohol free and not even going to mention it anymore unless I fail but at this point that's for sure a winning ticket.

LOL:

PartyGaming - $2 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 5 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (UTG): $215.00
CO: $775.82 (VPIP: 19.88, PFR: 15.99, 3Bet Preflop: 7.84, Hands: 655)
BTN: $302.42 (VPIP: 22.65, PFR: 17.27, 3Bet Preflop: 8.84, Hands: 2,100)
SB: $192.45 (VPIP: 27.49, PFR: 21.31, 3Bet Preflop: 14.15, Hands: 513)
BB: $203.81 (VPIP: 65.35, PFR: 14.85, 3Bet Preflop: 6.67, Hands: 101)

SB posts SB $1.00, BB posts BB $2.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $3.00) Hero has 6♦ A♦

Hero raises to $5.00, fold, fold, fold, BB calls $3.00

Flop: ($11.00, 2 players) 2♠ 4♦ 5♠
BB checks, Hero bets $3.11, BB calls $3.11

Turn: ($17.22, 2 players) K♦
BB checks, Hero bets $8.13, BB calls $8.13

River: ($33.48, 2 players) T♦
BB checks, Hero bets $198.76 and is all-in, BB calls $187.57 and is all-in

BB shows K♥ 7♥ (One Pair, Kings)
(Pre 41%, Flop 21%, Turn 66%)
Hero shows 6♦ A♦ (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 59%, Flop 79%, Turn 34%)
Hero wins $405.62

DAY 12

OVERALL

Looks like I picked the wrong month to stop sniffing glue. Also picked the wrong month to do daily updates. Managed 3 hours but as you can see I lost 4 or 5 stacks in about 5 minutes and couldn't handle it so threw in the towel. The accumulated tilt is really getting to me at times.

This is one of my worst stretches since last November where I played 100 hours for $20/hr which was about 4 times below my EV hourly. I remember being extremely stressed that month with Christmas around the corner but ended up smashing it in December for about $9k to end the year on a positive. The latest Mobius podcast talked about if you are searching your DB for bad variance periods it means you are spiraling. Maybe some truth to that LOL.

Been feeling existential lately. Something about spending 40 hours of my time and being stuck thousands feels like a waste. I know in the grand scheme it is not a waste and this will be one of the best things to happen to me and I will become stronger because of it but at the moment it is just frustrating to deal with mentally.

Anyways, I planned to take off today and take care of some things but I went to bed late and had to get up at 0730 to take my son to a function and was way too tired to stay awake so I went back to sleep and slept until 1400. Wasn't very motivated after that so I'm going to take off tomorrow instead and try to play 4 hours tonight.

Could be a do or die session. If I lose heaps again I may have to take a extended break and re-focus on my sanity over putting in volume.

#PrayforOP

GL tonight OP !
Dont put too much pressure on yrself tho

#graphsaremeaningless

#mainlyenjoyingthehandsandwrylifecommentary

Best of luck!

Mark my words you will be above EV and in the green by the end of the month.

ty bro and you are 100% right

appreciate you, glad you enjoy

ty bro i like the way you're thinking

DAY 13

OVERALL

A nice win to lead into my off day. I was at my most zen yesterday even after running OP into OP for stacks about 4x yesterday but I did a good job of listening to DumboTrunk wisdom and just let the game come to me and stop trying to force things. For the first time in a long time I was using different strategies for different tables instead of brute forcing my default strategy. Little things like opening tighter because the reg directly to my right is a super aggressive 3bettor so I can't open those fringe hands as liberally. Changing my SB strategy because the BB player is someone I study with and knows all about the tricks up my sleeve. Cold calling QQ to a 3b because the 3bettor is a nit reg with a 4% 3b. No distractions on the side like YouTube and what not.

Anyways, it feels nice to enjoy this day without having to stress about poker and in fact I can't wait to get back to it tomorrow. Plan for today is to get haircuts with the boy, hit the gym for a heavy chest day and to take care of some errands and honey do list stuff, squeeze in some study with Swerbs and then just going to chill and relax and practice some gratitude for what I have and for where I'm at.

HANDS

LOL:

PokerStars - $2 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BB: $203.00 (VPIP: 22.07, PFR: 18.67, 3Bet Preflop: 8.70, Hands: 22,709)
UTG: $234.67 (VPIP: 60.00, PFR: 6.67, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 31)
Hero (MP): $200.00
CO: $276.00 (VPIP: 28.38, PFR: 18.76, 3Bet Preflop: 7.61, Hands: 455)
BTN: $221.21 (VPIP: 23.26, PFR: 19.00, 3Bet Preflop: 8.59, Hands: 44,643)
SB: $252.31 (VPIP: 25.59, PFR: 19.85, 3Bet Preflop: 9.46, Hands: 8,381)

SB posts SB $1.00, BB posts BB $2.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $3.00) Hero has K♣ K♠

UTG raises to $6.00, Hero raises to $18.00, fold, fold, fold, fold, UTG calls $12.00

Flop: ($39.00, 2 players) 6♠ T♠ 3♠
UTG bets $18.53, Hero calls $18.53

Turn: ($76.06, 2 players) A♠
UTG checks, Hero bets $40.60, UTG raises to $194.86, Hero calls $122.87 and is all-in

River: ($403.00, 2 players) 4♠

UTG shows 9♥ J♠ (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 15%, Flop 3%, Turn 0%)
Hero shows K♣ K♠ (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 85%, Flop 97%, Turn 100%)
Hero wins $400.00

I MUST BLUFF WAY TOO MUCH:

PokerStars - $2 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 5 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

UTG: $214.11 (VPIP: 26.61, PFR: 15.48, 3Bet Preflop: 3.51, Hands: 11,595)
CO: $217.87 (VPIP: 23.46, PFR: 17.37, 3Bet Preflop: 5.99, Hands: 16,485)
Hero (BTN): $408.43
SB: $246.73 (VPIP: 23.51, PFR: 19.21, 3Bet Preflop: 9.34, Hands: 44,199)
BB: $115.32 (VPIP: 46.48, PFR: 7.75, 3Bet Preflop: 1.35, Hands: 146)

SB posts SB $1.00, BB posts BB $2.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $3.00) Hero has 6♠ 6♦

fold, fold, Hero raises to $6.00, SB raises to $24.00, fold, Hero calls $18.00

Flop: ($50.00, 2 players) 9♦ A♥ 6♥
SB bets $15.68, Hero calls $15.68

Turn: ($81.36, 2 players) 4♣
SB checks, Hero bets $54.85, SB calls $54.85

River: ($191.06, 2 players) 4♥
SB checks, Hero bets $313.90 and is all-in, SB calls $152.20 and is all-in

Hero shows 6♠ 6♦ (Full House, Sixes full of Fours)
(Pre 19%, Flop 87%, Turn 95%)
SB shows Q♠ Q♥ (Two Pair, Queens and Fours)
(Pre 81%, Flop 13%, Turn 5%)
Hero wins $492.46

SPIDEY SENSE WAS TINGLING ON THIS ONE:

PartyGaming - $2 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

SB: $249.72 (VPIP: 63.97, PFR: 8.11, 3Bet Preflop: 4.86, Hands: 941)
Hero (BB): $228.00
UTG: $200.00 (VPIP: 20.70, PFR: 16.57, 3Bet Preflop: 8.56, Hands: 1,431)
MP: $339.31 (VPIP: 35.38, PFR: 21.85, 3Bet Preflop: 6.30, Hands: 335)
CO: $200.00 (VPIP: 23.61, PFR: 18.23, 3Bet Preflop: 8.79, Hands: 2,483)
BTN: $207.67 (VPIP: 20.79, PFR: 16.38, 3Bet Preflop: 5.19, Hands: 887)

SB posts SB $1.00, Hero posts BB $2.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $3.00) Hero has Q♥ Q♠

fold, MP raises to $5.00, fold, BTN raises to $15.00, SB calls $14.00, Hero calls $13.00, MP calls $10.00

Flop: ($60.00, 4 players) 9♣ 2♥ 6♠
SB checks, Hero checks, MP checks, BTN checks

Turn: ($60.00, 4 players) Q♣
SB checks, Hero bets $80.00, fold, BTN calls $80.00, fold

River: ($220.00, 2 players) 8♠
Hero bets $133.00 and is all-in, BTN calls $112.67 and is all-in

Hero shows Q♥ Q♠ (Three of a Kind, Queens)
(Pre 19%, Flop 8%, Turn 95%)
BTN shows A♦ A♣ (One Pair, Aces)
(Pre 81%, Flop 92%, Turn 5%)
Hero wins $442.34

DAY 14-18

OVERALL

Just had a long write up get deleted because I misclicked closed the tab. Sigh.

Fought through a lot of adversity this week. All of it in my mind. I had a nice day off on Wednesday. Thursday turned into an unplanned day off because my H2N crashed and I spent all day to fix it. Friday I played a day session and won $1k in 4 hours. Tried to play another session that same night and lost $1k in one hour. After this I was completely demoralized. I went outside and sot on the bench and just looked at the stars wondering why tf does this keep happening to me? Poor me.

I woke up Saturday in a foul mood and had no motivation to play poker or to make an update. I logged on to see an update in Redsoxnets5 thread. A thread I've been following for many years. The update was devastating as it turns out he passed away tragically earlier in the week. I spent many of the hours afterwards trying to find info, reading twitter threads about him, and reading the last year of his updates. I never met the guy but it felt like I had lost a member of my family. I was pretty hurt and shook up about it.

Whether for better or worse, when something like this happens, there's a good chance that it will make you question your own mortality. I went from feeling completely depressed about poker to wondering if I had passed away suddenly how would I feel about never being able to play another hand of poker again? I meditated on this thought for most of the day while experiencing pockets of grief over Dan's passing.

Reading the last few pages is very eerie in hindsight. A lot of his posts this year were filled with frustration and anxiety of what lies ahead but also with a sense of faith and hope that everything was gonna work it's way out. Just makes me wonder what kind of demons he was dealing with after running bad for so long and then getting dropped abruptly by his backers and what that may have done to his self worth. I shouldn't speculate any further on this so I'll just leave it alone.

RIP Dan. You will be missed.

I feel like changing the subject at this point doesn't feel right. So I'll save the rest of my thoughts for another day.

♥

ctrl+shift+t

Never knew that. Thank you bro.

Appreciate that Ceres.

DAY 19-22

OVERALL

Don't have much to say but wanted to get an update in. Been trying a different approach to how I do things. Focusing on just trying to play 2-2.5 hour session fully focused and deciding to extend it further if I'm feeling good and fresh or having the option to rack up if I'm feeling too stressed or fatigued.

It's been helping to make my sessions feel more manageable as I find it easier to put in 2 sessions this way throughout the day instead of playing for 5-8 hours straight and the tricks it will play on my mind pre-session where I'm thinking "Damn, I have to sit down and play for 4+ hours straight now?"

I know, I know. Builderman plays 4 hours and 10k hands before he brushes his teeth and washes his ass but for me the big grind is not something I can do everyday. Keeping it manageable on a daily basis is the approach that seems to work for me.

I've learned a lot about variance during this month. Not just from living through it but from reading a lot about it. Currently reading Real Poker Psychology by Mason and other random articles I found on the internet. I'll link a very good old school article by NoahSD at the bottom. The biggest insight I've learned is learning to come to grips with standard deviation which Mason says is just a fancy word for short term luck.

I've found for me that thinking of it in this way has helped me come to terms with how volatile the game can be, in both ways, up and down, and to embrace it and be prepared for it whenever you sit down and play. The only thing that smooths it out is time. Meaning that putting in a large amount of time or hands or hours will help to smooth out the variance as long as you are a long term winner of course.

With this new shift in perspective I can prepare myself mentally for the swings in advance. Before I sit down I can tell myself that I don't really control whether I win or lose for today. My SD is what it is and that means I'm going to swing 100bb/100 up or down on average but as long as I stay in the game and keep my wits about me over the long run the tough times don't last but the tough people do.

One good thing that I learned about myself this month is that thinking of variance in this mechanical and analytical way seems to work much better for me than thinking of it in the woo-woo way.

http:// http://www.nsdpoker.com/2011/03/...

Update here:

Daniel Infante aka BobbyPeru stole $14,000 from our staking operation.

Daniel was staked by Imawhale Staking from August 2023 until October 2024. Sadly he has gone MIA and and not responding to any of our attempts to communicate with him. He has stolen 14k in stake funds. He is a good player, so it's sad to see him go down this path.

Pokerstars - VLTRA888
MGM - ultra888
Borgata - ULTRA88
WSOP - ultra888

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showp...

Some more info has come to light.

BobbyPeru (Daniel Infante from Pennsylvania) previously stole 20k from another backer who reached out to me after I posted the negative feedback. So he has a history of this.

Also while on the stake with us he was approaching private backers and trying to find a better profit split, so I assume he still the 14k in order to try to get a starting bankroll to go on his own dime.

When he downswings I imagine he will try to find another backer and eventually steal from them once again. People seemed to think he was a good guy, we did as well, but there is a dark history here. Sad to see. Hopefully he stops stealing someday.

He wrote here many years was always reading.

Sounds like got himself a head-start with a nice usd 34k bankroll 😉 .

GL bro!