How to Deal with Bullying

I've been playing poker a long time and can maybe count on one hand the number of times somebody was actually going after me verbally in a serious way. I can say it's probably been less than a few dozen times I've seen anybody what I consider to be bullied at the table. If this is happening to you every time you play it may be something you are doing. As far as playing like a nit, being called a nit is not bullying. Maybe have some introspection.

As far as the homosexual taunts, that is bullying and over the line and you can usually tell when it is because other people will usually say something. If you are incapable due to social anxiety of answering with a joke at the bully's expense, then in a public game get the floor involved. In a private game get the host but that is more dicey you may just have to find a different game.

And if you don't mind losing a finger.

The people more likely to "take it outside" with you are the ones who usually have less to lose than you do.

yeah it's a terrible idea to offer that because it's perfectly reasonable for someone to turn that down without losing face so you're only going to be taken up by people who both believe they can defeat you after sizing you up and are probably going to be much better fighters

in poker terms, you're shoving 100 bbs into a 2bb pot

My approach to this might be a little different from most others. If some players are bullying you, try to see if it carries over into their play. Specifically, are the trying to isolate you more and/or bluff you on the later streets.

If this is the case, sit on their right, limp in with your best hands, and then reraise their raises. On the turn or river, look for those spots where they might bluff and check your better hands to them Now you'll enjoy their bullying, but it'll probably stop as the bullies won't like being outplayed.

Mason

This deserves more love. Way more love. It is spot on.

This is terrible advice. Dumb. Even if physically you can take them it is dumb.

I won't advise anyone to go the violence route it can backfire in so many ways.

With that said the few times in my 51 years it's been required I can say 100% of the time it's worked and saved many years of future hassle. So no regrets here. With that said I'm also 6'4 250lbs, in better shape then majority of the population and trained to handle myself. 95% of people after sizing me turn and walk away pretty quick.

Plenty of decent answers above. I like Mason's answer above the most I think. Being me I'd also talk so much smack while taking his money. He'd get really sick of playing at my table very quickly and he'd avoid me like the plague going forward.

Cheers!!!

That strat probably works better at a public casino.

Suggesting to "take it outside" could end up pretty bad.

Wouldn't this be lowering ours own standards down to the bullie's by doing what he's doing (he's out to get me, so I'm gonna be out to get him)?. If we limp aces and he folds and we find ourselves in a 6 way limped pot, we might be shooting ourselves in the foot when we get stacked by 63s.

I think it would be better to raise our aces, and when he re-raises, just say "I know you're just bullying me, so I know you're not gonna call" and then jam. His ego won't let him fold.

Adjusting your strategy to maximally exploit certain players is not lowering your standards.

Truth. The worst case scenarios are life ending (either you are him severely injured resulting in prison time). The best case scenario is you win and go to jail and get at least a misdemeanor battery charge.

I'm never adjusting my overall game just trying to target one person at the table to try and felt him because I'm "pissed off at him", or "to get even with him", etc. So whatever you wanna call it, it's still calling a spade a spade.

I'm still playing my regular game but I'm highly aware of the dynamic and will play accordingly. One person will never get me to limp a premuim hand (and try to play on his right) just to hope he raises so I can potentially trap him.

Also I would prefer to be on his left, but that's just me.

If people get out of line call them on it immediately, the second time say something to the dealer, the third call the floor that's what they get paid to deal with.

So basically you will do exactly what I said but at the same time want to claim you are better than doing that.

I never suggested doing it because you were pissed or to get even. Both are terrible ways to play poker. We know you can't force "it" while at the table based on your emotions.

I definitely did not suggest any particular strategy changes like limping premium hands. Whether that makes sense would be its own discussion

TLDR, you say you won't do "it" and then describe precisely doing "it"

There are multiple ways to take advantage of a poker bully and each depends upon their specific tendencies.

Yes, aces should almost never be limped, but against very specific type of bullies it is smart.

Finally, if you limp aces and it limps/checks through you just play good postflop. You probably fold to any major bets, unless you hit a set. It is poker, starting hand strength doesn't matter postflop. Play accordingly.

Yeah not a good idea. A guy who plays in our game had it taken outside, while at a casino. Although from his telling, he is not the one who took it outside. He says the other player attacked him outside. He ended up killing the guy with a knife he spent 4 years in prison. I guess there must be some truth because it was a manslaughter charge and not murder. So a man was dead and another lost several years of his life. So just not worth it.

and with zero surprise, op ghosts on the thread once people start talking about self improvement

this is entrenched mentality is exactly why he's the target of "bullying"

I assume this is a semi-private highish stakes NLHE game. Generally, they don't want regs who play tight and don't say anything.

I'd say he was a topic starter, maybe not having experienced it directly himself. So be it, good discussion.

I would think it's a lot smarter to raise them and let him 3bet us light, we'd make a lot more off of him then if we limped (and yes, of course if he's someone who raises every hand 100% we can l/rr; I have all my bases covered). I was speaking specifically earlier about limping whenever we get a big premium pair hoping and praying the bully raises us. Even fish don't do these things anymore.

My understanding is the reason for these semi-private games, and why high stakes games are more PLO and mixed games now, is the GTO players. They have a reputation for not saying much and acting like robots. So they arrange games for the whales with friendly loose regs. So naturally they might react to tight quiet players. If you play public games, you can act and play whatever style you like.

If it gets really bad over a long period you can consider your legal options for criminal harassment. I had a bully who wouldn't quit harassing me so I finally gave him a demand letter telling him to cut it out or I would get the law involved. I cited the relevant state criminal law on harassment. He has left me alone ever since. One they realize their actions could have real negative consequences for themselves (like a charge or being forced to stay away from the casino where you play), they will probably leave you alone.

I said against a specific type of poker bully. Yes, against most it is smarter to raise and let them reraise.

You then admit my point against someone who raises 100%, which is a very specific opponent. Like I said. Thanks for the confirmation.

Ok, now how about someone who raises 95% of the time. Probably smart to do it as well. And so on.... or there is a specific type who cannot help but raise when there are multiple limps in front of them. If a player in front raises they play it more straightforward and might fold.

Or sometimes , it makes sense to minraise (or near minraise), knowing that to some bullies this looks like weakness and will automatically get reraised.

Point is, poker bullies are like every other non-perfect GTO playing humans. They have tendencies that can be exploited. Figure out their bullying tendencies and exploit them. Sometimes this involves limping big pockets in front of them, sometimes it involves raising small, sometimes it involves raising big (i.e. to them it look weak like you do not want a call).