Online dating thread
I started this as a thread where 2+2 members could share advice on online dating. I'm 25 years old, and have had trouble finding a GF in person, so I've decided to try the online route.
I admittedly have no game when it comes to girls, as I'm a natural shy person, so I'll mostly be on the receiving end of the knowledge. As I improve, I'll share the wealth. :-)
From poker I've learned how helpful it is to have an advisor to give you advice and encouragement, and sympathize with you when you fail.
For starters, what are the best sites out there for free, and what sites are worth laying the money down for a subscription ? I'm on POF and OKcupid.
I’ve only been on tinder and am off it now - are Bumble and Hinge similar in terms of this stuff?
i'm been holding off on hinge until in a city but bumble and tinder are nearly interchangeable in experience
i think bumble has a slightly better design (but it's annoying to switch between because "next photo" on one app is a "super like" on another so it takes a minute to recalibrate - especially if you predominantly use one over the other
many women are on both, i often "double match"
but not always the case and i would say at least in USA#1 for the cohorts that only choose one or the other, bumble tends to skew more career driven singles who never had time for a family whereas tinder is more divorcee who works at target with joint custody of 2 kids
if upside down land is at all similar, i'd imagine you'll personally find more appropriate matches on bumble
i'm been holding off on hinge until in a city but bumble and tinder are nearly interchangeable in experience
i think bumble has a slightly better design (but it's annoying to switch between because "next photo" on one app is a "super like" on another so it takes a minute to recalibrate - especially if you predominantly use one over the other
many women are on both, i often "double match"
but not always the case and i would say at least in USA#1 for the cohorts that only choose one or the other, bum
It depends on how attractive you are , physically and emotionally
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but not always the case and i would say at least in USA#1 for the cohorts that only choose one or the other, bumble tends to skew more career driven singles who never had time for a family whereas tinder is more divorcee who works at target with joint custody of 2 kids
A Like for being an American posting on an international forum who considers the existence of other countries in their post - though obviously you lived abroad.
You say tinder has got worse, are you paying some kind of subscription or using it in free mode?
Badoo is useless in free mode - even if you get swipe on obvious scammers they don't get back to you, which suggests they pretty much aren't showing you to many people..
Interested as I've never had a Tinder account but will probably sign up on a trip to SE Asia later in the year and see how I do there with the new member boost and so on.
A Like for being an American posting on an international forum who considers the existence of other countries in their post - though obviously you lived abroad.
You say tinder has got worse, are you paying some kind of subscription or using it in free mode?
Badoo is useless in free mode - even if you get swipe on obvious scammers they don't get back to you, which suggests they pretty much aren't showing you to many people..
Interested as I've never had a Tinder account but will probably sign up on
😀
never once paid anything on an app, i'm way too much of a cheapskate
badoo had a good run in china for a bit back when tinder became inaccessible without a vpn (i don't recall the issue, i don't think it was blocked directly but rather the way it was designed leaned heavily on facebook/google services which themselves were blocked so it kind of got blocked by accident) - i of course could get around such things but many of the local women couldn't be bothered to do that so just leaned into badoo and tantan but tantan was all bots and vast majority of my matches were like "omg a foreigner can you teach me english" or they thought i was a chinese guy catfishing them - again, because it was 99.9% chinese so i obviously stood out whereas any local on tinder/badoo would see 50% expats
during my post divorce slutty phase i used badoo quite a bit and it leaned heavily towards those looking for random hookups which was very nice - no idea if it was useful in rest of asia or even still useful in china
do recall badoo requiring a lot more upfront investment to find matches (don't recall how it even worked but do recall it was needlessly complicated and not at all the smoove experience of tinder/bumble) which is why once i exited my super slutty phase that i stopped using that app
i never used bumble in asia, was doing so nicely on tinder/badoo
SEA is very common for hookers to use dating apps so would strongly recommend you try to suss that out with any matches before proceeding (not making judgement calls nor even saying don't engage, just that it's better to know ahead of time)
some of the less gifted 2p2ers even post screenshots in various SEA threads where their first question with a match is "are you a whore" which is lol funny because it's just so monumentally stupid to ask because they either are and you unmatch or they aren't and they unmatch 😀
new member boost is very much a real thing
and perhaps covid has changed things, but taiwan is far away and the best tinder experience of my life, super easy to arrange dates and girls were always ready to go, just get a drink at a nearby bar and then ask if they want to see the hotel room and up we go 😀
in all honesty, the best strategy in asia is to have pictures deeply implying wealth, so if you see a nice car before your trip, take a picture standing in front of it specifically for these apps on that trip - trust me, it's a game changer
Because girls have to open in Bumble (or at least they had to, up until that "opening move" ****), that means that most matches you have are actually girls interested in you. But that also means that you'll have less matches, at least in my experience.
Tinder on the other hand feels to me very low effort and many girls will swipe right just for ego boosting reasons like "this guy would **** me" but they might not have any interest on actually dating anyone. Nowadays it feels more like that "hotornot" website where people would rate your pic from 1 to 10 and that's it.
And I think too that the "quality" of the girls on bumble is superior than tinder.
So yea, for me it's pretty easy Bumble >>>> Tinder
One more thing on the paying/not paying: advantage of paying is that you can get volume in with unlimited swipes. For men, volume is pretty much the only thing that matters in the apps because wee don't have the "luxury" women have of using the "sniper" strategy ie I like THAT guy so I'll **** him, for us is more the "machinegun" approach so having unlimited swipes is not only an advantage but a necessity for maximum EV.
Because girls have to open in Bumble (or at least they had to, up until that "opening move" ****), that means that most matches you have are actually girls interested in you. But that also means that you'll have less matches, at least in my experience.
Tinder on the other hand feels to me very low effort and many girls will swipe right just for ego boosting reasons like "this guy would **** me" but they might not have any interest on actually dating anyone. Nowadays it feels more like that "hotor
Barely got any play in 6 months of Tinder, downloaded Bumble Saturday and am making plans with two women already.
thanks, i had no idea how physically attractive you are would have any influence on dating efforts and outcomes
You’re shitting on the best app for hot people in the world. There’s no reason for that. If you’re not hot enough to make it happen on tinder then OK. But that doesn’t mean it sucks
Being cheap when you date might save you money short term but I bet it costs you long term. I got a lifetime sub to bumble for $130 like 7 years ago
But yeah, keep being cheap and then get mad when tinder doesn’t work for you
You’re shitting on the best app for hot people in the world. There’s no reason for that. If you’re not hot enough to make it happen on tinder then OK. But that doesn’t mean it sucks
Being cheap when you date might save you money short term but I bet it costs you long term. I got a lifetime sub to bumble for $130 like 7 years ago
But yeah, keep being cheap and then get mad when tinder doesn’t work for you
again, thanks for your insights, i had no idea how important looks were and i guess i'm also discovering that i'm indeed hideous - so your insights are highly valuable and very appreciated
can you please upload the fingerbanging video though? perhaps that can give my butterface and edge!
No I need to go to the gym cause my tinder results arent good
Barely got any play in 6 months of Tinder, downloaded Bumble Saturday and am making plans with two women already.
Also was on eharmony last year and Facebook dating this year. Eharmony was meh, too many Christians and women wanting to jump straight into serious relationships. Facebook has been a ghost town for me, swiped right a thousand times on women it said “liked” me, zero chats in two months.
DC, i'm guessing by your registration date that you're >40?
many here itt have found that the difference between being 39 and 40 in online dating is monumental with the prevailing theory being that many women in their 20s and 30s just set 39 as the defacto max age date
Tinder has been nearly worthless for a decade.
Bumble is ok, but worse than Hinge in every way (except maybe hooking up ymmv)
Hinge is the only app worth using. Paying for premium is also worthwhile if you can afford a first date you can afford $30 a month or whatever it costs.
DC, i'm guessing by your registration date that you're >40?
many here itt have found that the difference between being 39 and 40 in online dating is monumental with the prevailing theory being that many women in their 20s and 30s just set 39 as the defacto max age date
Possible silver lining - maybe at 40 you start to get shown to 18-25 women looking for a sugar daddy or silver fox
Thanks for that. Obviously hoping for hookups but it'll be fun anyway.
SEA is very common for hookers to use dating apps so would strongly recommend you try to suss that out with any matches before proceeding (not making judgement calls nor even saying don't engage, just that it's better to know ahead of time)
Right, at least there's plan B if I don't get anywhere with the main plan. 😉
No, they're everywhere: Tinder, Bumble, the mall, outdoor parks, bars, bookstores, networking events, alumni events, supermarkets, concerts, starbucks, the gym, playing board games, sporting events, you name it. Most women that age I've met in big cities literally do not seem to care if you're 10-20 years older.
2022 Ipsos Survey of Americans:
"A sizeable portion of American adults have engaged in age-gap dating:
Nearly four in ten (39%) have previously dated someone with an age difference of 10+ years.
Men are more likely to have dated someone 10+ years younger than them compared to women (25% vs. 14%). Meanwhile, women are more likely to have dated someone 10+ years older than them compared to men (28% vs. 21%).
Many single Americans are open to age-gap dating, with 57% saying they would be open to dating someone 10+ years older than them ...."
yup, i've definitely banged 10+/- a bunch
but we're not blind that pw has been banned - guess we'll never learn how to properly fingerbang
it better not be called lubeless fingers because we need to know the truth!