Best Wrestling Promos
The promo below is a fun watch, but reading the transcript really adds some perspective.
Mean Gene: What happened tonight?
Ultimate Warrior: What happened tonight was already written, Hulk Hogan. It was written a long time ago when the warriors that came before me and you—Yes, I'll do it, and what me must do is beyond us, Hulk Hogan! I stood with my back to you, Hulk Hogan, and I knew you were not dumb! But Hulk Hogan, when I looked into your eyes, I saw walls; walls filled with fear; fear that ran thick through you, Hulk Hogan. At Royal Rumble, I needed no friends, I needed to partners. Every man stands by himself like the Ultimate Warrior. Always has! But Hulk Hogan, you still do not understand. You still have mistrust. I need not your protection, Hulk Hogan. Look on the wall of the Joe Louis Arena! The warriors that could not come have attached theirselves to the outer structure, Hulk Hogan. They're seeping through; feeling me; feeding me with the power to survive. They ride on my back for my protection! I need not you, Hulk Hogan. And if you look closer you will notice red and yellow, the colors of Hulkamania. Hulkamaniacs—they're questioning: Do you have, Hulk Hogan, what it takes to be the most powerful force in the entire universe?! Hulk Hogan, look at me, Hulk Hogan. Look at me! Without the pain, Hulk Hogan; the desire to withstand the pain and give you the utmost in battle and combat at WrestleMania 6 still stands, Hulk Hogan, for I am the chosen one.
Mean Gene: I get the impression that we've got a loose cannon on our hands...
It's all Fake...
Grew up on Sunday morning staying as quiet as possible so my mom wouldn't wake up and take me to church so I could watch Wrestling at the Chase and WCCW. When the former started showing WWF instead of the local stuff I was out. Huge WCCW/NWA/WCW fan, not at all a fan of the cartoonish WWF at the time. Stopped watching in the mid 90s and have tried a few times to get back in but never stuck.
Hated Ric Flair because I was supposed to but in high school realized he was the best thing ever. There was one match in either 80 or 81 where David Von Erich had Ric in the claw on Wrestling at the Chase and when Ric got free his head was covered in blood I legit thought he was going to die. That's wrestling!
In HS and college we'd watch and every time a wrestler bladed himself we'd all yell, "CUT CUT CUT" as he did his work and it was glorious. Good friend from college was from Japan and had the Muta match that was the spawn of the
. Drove him to St. Louis to see a local WCW card and we had a great time.
This one only gets better as it goes.
A Classic from David Schultz
In my opinion the greatest promo of all time, after Paul E Dangerously busted Cornette open with his cell phone.
shocking lack of Hacksaw Jim Duggan
show your hunt tuff guys and vote
Duggan's promos were terrible. Except for the time that he was diagnosed with cancer and gave an emotional in-ring interview during his WCW days, but he basically dropped kayfabe for that one.
Duggan's promos were terrible. Except for the time that he was diagnosed with cancer and gave an emotional in-ring interview during his WCW days, but he basically dropped kayfabe for that one.
Hacksaw's promos demonstrate how a particular narrative has been festering since the 80's
not quite sure how i escaped full indoctrination, but somehow i did
I am going to nominate AA as an underrated mic worker from the 1980s. He always seemed legitimately pissed off and he did a good job of coming off like an actual tough guy.
Yes and no. If every figure four was real, there'd be a ton of broken legs and dislocated knees, but they definitely take a beating. This episode of Politically Incorrect starts off with Maher saying the "wrestling is fake" thing, and Piper goes off on him. The burn at 12:45 is the best part though.
The funniest Royal Rumble elimination.
Yes and no. If every figure four was real, there'd be a ton of broken legs and dislocated knees, but they definitely take a beating. This episode of Politically Incorrect starts off with Maher saying the "wrestling is fake" thing, and Piper goes off on him. The burn at 12:45 is the best part though.
Well sure, and lot of the holds are done in a way to look painful, but not actually hurt.
But the bumps can't be faked. There are plenty of injuries that occur. There are insane characters like Mick Foley as Cactus Jack or Mankind, the latter getting thrown off of the Hell in a Cell cage.
Barbed wire baseball bats, thumbtacks, and going thru tables are hard to fake. The chair shots are mostly done in a way that they take as little damage as possible now (tho in the past, shots to the head were unprotected and real, until they learned about CTE and how brutal that damage could be long-term).
The Six Feet Under podcast featuring Mark Calaway (aka The Undertaker) is really solid woth fun stories and some behind the scenes info (he still protects the business a lot, tho).
Latka on Taxi wasn't funny either.
Kaufman didn't do 'funny' humor by telling jokes... the jokes on you.
Like I said...
