Do you have fun playing even when you lose?
I understand that this topic might seem better suited for a psychology or general/bq forum, but I'm most interested in the responses from the low-stakes fixed-limit crowd. That's the crowd that's most likely to be playing for fun and not expecting to make a lot of money at it. In my experience it's where the mood is the least serious at the table.
I don't have a big bankroll, so if at the beginning of the year I kick off the year with 2 or 3 consecutive losing sessions, I have to quit for the year and wait all the way until the next year to play again. That gets upsetting. This year I went on a significant upswing at the beginning of the year, so even though I endured several consecutive non-winning sessions, I was still WAY up for the year so I still had fun going to the casino to play.
In as few words as possible, I'm "going through things" mental health wise right now. I had a casino visit scheduled for a few weeks ago, but on that day, I was pretty certain that if I lost it was going to hit me like a ton of bricks. On the flipside, I was certain that a WIN would improve my mood significantly. I know full well, though, that poker doesn't give a rat's left front tooth what kind of a day you're having - it's cold, hard probability. It felt risky. I talked to my wife and she said, "You got this - just go into it with the mindset that win or lose you're going to have fun!" I ended up going (long story), I had a losing session, and it hurt. I was really crabby, slamming my cards on the table as I walked out. That's really embarrassing.
I'm not sure what my point is with this post other than to vent. Maybe my point is I should know better than to go when it'll hurt me to lose. I don't know.
For most of you, are you able to have fun win or lose? Do you get "crabby" when you lose and/or drive home with a disappointed knot in your stomach or anything?
14 Replies
I almost never have fun when I'm buried. Small losses don't affect me. Playing with friendly people makes it more bearable.
I don’t think I would have fun playing (whether winning or losing) if my bankroll could not handle three consecutive losing sessions. It’s very difficult for most of us to play optimally if we’re under rolled and I don’t think it’s good for your mental health playing like this.
if you're not comfortable dropping 50 big bets in a session i dont think playing LHE is good idea. and i think you need to be able to drop at least 300 big bets over the course of several sessions and not tilt.
Easier said than done but I find I always do better when the losses don’t phase me and the wins don’t boost my mood. I’m more likely to climb out of a hole and less likely to succumb to winner’s tilt.
The worst poker always comes from strong emotions at the table, whether positive or negative.
I only get to play a few times a year now so my poker escapades are mostly for fun and entertainment. That being said, my mood for the session almost solely depends on how I play regardless of the results. The entertainment budget(bankroll) is there for the variance.
if you're not comfortable dropping 50 big bets in a session i dont think playing LHE is good idea. and i think you need to be able to drop at least 300 big bets over the course of several sessions and not tilt.
This. I am comfortably rolled but I still need to be better at tilt when the hits keep coming. I think I posted in another thread last year I dropped 300 BB over about 15 sessions(100 hours) and by the end had to reevaluate how I was playing.(spoiler-not well)
Also, scared money is no way to play.
Why would your bankroll / tolerance for losing depend on the calendar?
In theory, one should be able to enjoy the camaraderie and conversation, the banter and friendly needling, the sports on TV, and the food and drinks regardless of the outcome of that session. In practice, losing always sucks.
And it's not just the money. My retirement and other investments have gone down far more in a day than I've ever lost in poker, and I take that volatility in stride. But the idea that I consciously chose to push little plastic disks forward on a felt-covered table with the expectation of getting more of them back, and didn't, is always hard to take.
A big loss feels like I've been punched in the gut and can take me a few days to recover from psychologically. That's why I don't play $20/$40 even though I can afford to: I don't have the "psychological bankroll" to handle the downswings.
Poker is a very intellectually stimulating and engrossing game, but many aspects of playing live poker are challenging (or can be). The variance and bad beats can be hard to take. You're jammed into a very tight space with people who may or may not be considerate and congenial. Gambling tends to bring out the worst in people, especially if they're also drinking. So sometimes you have to deal with ass-holes—or angle-shooters or dealer mistakes or bad floor rulings or too much secondhand smoke drifting in from other parts of the casino or still in the lungs of players returning from smoke breaks.
I often enjoy play-money games and tournaments on PokerStars, as they provide some similar intellectual challenges with none of the financial or psychological downsides.
And I remember something Tommy Angelo wrote in his terrific book Elements of Poker. One day he was about to go play a session, but he just wasn't feeling it. He discussed it with his wife, and she told him, "It's never wrong to not play poker." Words of wisdom.
Also, what Nitty said.
What are your reasons for playing poker? I was going to play pretty much every weekend and many weekdays, doing pretty well all things considered. I stopped going as much because I found more rewarding things to do with my free time.
I also admire those people that play for 30 minutes, lose two hands and then leave. But if they win early they’ll stay for hours. One time I went to play at the casino, looked at the game, it didn’t look good so I left. I know that if I’m not in the right mental state to play I’m just not going to do well.
What are your reasons for playing poker? I was going to play pretty much every weekend and many weekdays, doing pretty well all things considered. I stopped going as much because I found more rewarding things to do with my free time.
I also admire those people that play for 30 minutes, lose two hands and then leave. But if they win early they’ll stay for hours. One time I went to play at the casino, looked at the game, it didn’t look good so I left. I know that if I’m not in the right mental stat
I don’t think playing is as much fun as it was twenty years ago. The social aspect of the game has declined. Everyone is glued to their cellphone with their ear buds firmly in place. It never ceases to amaze me that players who are in big pots seem to be paying more attention to their phone than the action.
I hate losing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I'm better than you I should win! LMAO...so for me its a perilous balance between the joy of running a good bluff, or making a nice read and having a good session...versus...the oft times days of numbing pain after losing a couple of stacks in forty minutes. Winning just doesn't seem as gratifying as losing seems depressing...Honestly, its why I haven't played in a while.
I don't have the "psychological bankroll" to handle the downswings......damn! thats my problem!!!!
I ask myself that question all the time. In the beginning, I CLEARLY saw poker as a way to supplement my income. It took me about 4 years to finally purge that idiotic thought from my head. To some extent, it's still there, because I have consistent access to a soft game.
Right now, the only honest answer I can give to that question is "I'm not sure." I do enjoy reading about the game, posting on this forum and participating in threads, studying, running simulations, running Flopzilla runs, and the mental challenge of figuring out the right play in any situation. But how much would I enjoy it if there were no opportunity to make money whatsoever? The only honest answer I have right now is "I'm not sure".
