2024 NFL Regular Season: Vikings vs. Lions SNF Showdown!
You know, since the Super Bowl periodically i will watch the CBS Sinatra intro cuz it was ****ing magnificent. Halfway through i will remember how that game went and I will be dead inside. I hate myself enough that I will keep ripping off the scab. A niners fan in their 30s probably knows more heartbreak than any fan living, and I say that knowing that stupid ass team in upstate New York lost 4 straight Super Bowls. I come into this season knowing an inevitability that the 9ers will be good. Very good. And like that they've done for a ****ing decade they will find a brand new way to rip my ****ing heart out inches away from a Super Bowl. I am about to waste 5 ****ing months of my life bracing myself for the inevitable. With that in mind i come into this season with a new outlook:
**** you all. Every last one of you. Indiscrimenantly and unconditionally. All of you ****ers deserve pain and I wish nothing less than that for you. I jerked off when Rodgers tore his achilles 4 snaps into the season cuz I hate him. I am prepared to replicate that for the rest of you. I will bring you down to my level and laugh at your misery until nothing is left but ash.
With that in mind, welcome to the 2024 NFL season.
(Sorting by Super Bowl Odds)
Kansas City Chiefs, +600
Travis Kelce is a braindead mongoloid in a relationship of circumstance with a singer who looks like an abstract painting drawn by a drunk. Your quarterback has a voice that makes me think he sits in the corner and jerks off while his attention whore whore of a wife gets gangbanged to post on IG. His family is full of a sexual predator and a drunk ass father. You are coached by a man who is as objectively terrible at fatherhood as he is at portion control. YOU WANT THEM NUGGIES?! probably not as much as your kids wanted a present dad. Too bad one killed himself and the other killed someone else. But hey, he's got a mustache and he looks like the kool-aid man. WHAT A GUY! Your fans suck. Your forum should be under constant terror surveillance. You still do some racist ass chant because now that Snyder left someone has to wear the mantle of "**** you native americans this is our tradition now." **** you then. **** you now. **** you forever.
San Francisco 49ers, +600
GOD. ****ING. DAMNIT. **** this team that has taken so much of my soul I am certain if an afterlife exists neither side will claim me. Kyle Shanahan? If you choked on dick as much as you choke when it matters you'd either be dead of asphyxiation or your body would be 97% the cum of other men. I am a liberal of Middle Eastern descent rooting for a team whose marquee defensive player gets rock hard at the sight of Trump and whose 7th round QB is a member of Focus on the Family. The levels of moral compromise it takes for me to root for them is only offset by the fact that CTE exists and it all levels out in the end. Watch these ****ers go 14-3 and lose in the Super Bowl because, I dunno, they decide to do some nonsense like take a knee in the end zone to start OT
Baltimore Ravens, +1000
You ****ing worthless bastards. You had one one ****ing job and that was to get your fraud ass MVP RB1 WR1 to the Super Bowl to get your anus protruded. Congrats on giving the keys to your future to a guy so stupid his mom is his agent. The best player in your history was a murderer. The best RB in your history I'm pretty sure is also a murderer. The best QB in your history is basically a runningback who can occassionally throw a football which means he's basically black Julian Edelman with the ability to do an inside handoff. It warms my heart you will never win anything, not because the Chefs are in your conference but because Lamar ain't ****ing ****. You might be feeling a certain kind of way reading me say this but I also watched this guy implode at home in the AFCCG so the burden of proof is on you to tell me this guy ****ing matters. **** you
Detroit Lions, +1200
Bahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaa what can i actually say to you that God already hasn't. When you are a fan of Detroit sports you have already made a decision your life has no meaning or value. As a Niners fan it warms my heart that we own your ****ing asses. You idiots are so terrible at all things sports you let a guy catch a 50 yard pass off your ****ing helmet. Remember when the Giants swept the best Tigers team you'll ever have? I sure as **** remember. It's cute you think you matter cuz you have some retread QB with no talent other than the worst Super Bowl performance of the modern era and because you decided to give AMSR all the money. Have fun with the consequences of winning the first playoff games in the last half century. I see zero downside here.
Philadelphia Eagles, +1300
The most meaningless 10-1 start in history. No existence has ever shown itself to be more fraudulent than the hype behind "I SQUAT ALL THE POUNDS" and Nick Siriosis. Your QB is **** elevated by a gimmick. Your coach is **** elevated by coordinators who once upon a time were able to hide it. Your city deserves to be nuked from orbit. Nothing on earth means less to societal benefit than a Philly sports fan. You clowns combine the entitlement of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the stupidity of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the "my life has no meaning other than the team I root for" of Buffalo Bills fans. You suck so much I once bought a 2+2er a secret santa gift of 7 6ers tickets 1 in each section costing me a total of 20 bucks. That 2+2er lived in Atlanta.
Houston Texans, +1500
I don't give a **** about you
Cincinnati Bengals, +1500
The only good thing to come out of Ohio is the cry from help that comes from anyone who lives there. Skyline Chili? Have some ****ing self-respect you indulgent fat bastards. Stop trying to make Joe Burrow a thing. The only thing that separates that bleached hair ****boi from Boomer Esiason is a cigar. Also the best QB you ever had before this literally chose to name himself BOOMER. No part of me can take you seriously no matter how much you all dEmAnD tO bE tAkEn SeRiOuSlY. You go to a stadium that looks so decrepit I can't rule out it was built in 2700 BC by the Pharoah's slaves to give the cheapest man alive your hard earned money to maybe watch 1 playoff game before you go to the bar and pass up your chance at pussy by telling whatever slag you found on a Craigslist personals ad your hour long retrospective on how Akili Smith just had bad luck
Buffalo Bills +1500
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
You people are something else. Leave it to the team Bon Jovi and Trump couldn't trick people into letting them buy to gloss themselves a mafia because they jump through tables and show up to 0 degree weather games topless and blackout drunk on PBR. 4 Super Bowl Losses Were Not Enough. I fully expect Dom and that other half_nit to scream about how they're going to kill me for this post before they fall asleep in a puddle of their own piss and vomit surrounded by bottles of miller high life and wake up confused about why Josh Allen threw 7 picks in a game they missed. Spare me. I don't care. You guys will suck forever
Dallas Cowboys, +1800
Remember the time Zeke was your lone lineman in the last play of a playoff game? Remember that the coach who drew that up is still your coach? I can't prove it but your owner is a pedo. Jerry will outlive all of you which means that you will never ever ever see a Super Bowl appearance much less a win. ****, you're a dog to even make an NFCCG. But you know what? you deserve it. Every last element of the Dallas Cowboys, their fans, the city of Dallas, the state of Texas is a constant reminder to any decent human being that life can be much, much worse. Imagine being the sole thing on this ****ing earth Stephen A Smith can dunk on.
New York Jets, +1800
On my ****ing life I hope the season opener includes the paralysis of RFK Jr's VP and Podcast Punter's meal ticket. I will happily accept the niners never winning another ****ing game if they end his career opening night. The NFL has included rapists and murderers and somehow I hate the most overrated QB in the history of the game more than any of them. Aaron Hernandez literally got sentenced to life in prison and hung himself and I think Rodgers deserves the chair more. Rae Carruth had someone kill his baby mama and I think Rodgers has a greater claim to being buried under Guantanamo.
J
E
T
S
YOU
SUCK
DICK
Your levels of desperation of disrepair has brought you to this point. Your team is such a ****ing joke Bardy made a 9/11 joke about you that brought the house down.
Green Bay Packers, +1800
Imagine having Favre and Rodgers for 2 decades and ending up with as little as you did. Imagine having the 2 best QBs in your existence be the guy in that movie where that woman put cum in her hair as gel and ended up scamming the state of Mississippi who sends random dick pics to reporters and a guy who is someone more hatable than THAT. It's fitting that the public owns the Packers because you all deserve to wear this. You stupid cheesehead wearing halfwits. I've been to Wisconsin once. The only thing redeemable about that shithole is that I could leave it. And even that seemed dicey.
To the rest of the teams i have not named in this post it is because i do not care enough about you to write paragraphs about you. The panthers have a midget as a QB, the browns have a sexual predator. The boncos have a pill popping piece of **** as their coach, the stealers are lol, pray at the feet of a rapist and have concussion water as their QB1. The Chargers have a coach who sleeps over at the homes of kickers who are not of legal age to make sure they don't go to anyone else but daddy. The Jaguars have the HPoolV stadium and are owned by a guy in a cartoonish mustache with a son who is not Triple H
I wish you all pain. I will not suffer alone.
Let us football
Mod Edit:
List of Other Team Votes with Selection:
newguyhere: Dolphins
marknfw: Cowboys
A lot of $ can be personal too, you know.
we'll see what darnold commands, its a unique situation
unless he straight balls out playoffs i dont really see him having a ton of suitors for major dollars and vikes can probably get a fair deal
Darnold is the best available QB between both FA and the draft, and it might not be close.
If he stays with the Vikings, it’ll probably be at a slight discount, in both money and years. If he goes elsewhere, he’s getting PAID.
Agree with liga on the min, and I think it’s probably even higher than that.
Maybe UNC will give him a share of the school? I wonder what that's worth, probably not so much.
Probably worth more than you think.
Darnold is the best available QB between both FA and the draft, and it might not be close.
If he stays with the Vikings, it’ll probably be at a slight discount, in both money and years. If he goes elsewhere, he’s getting PAID.
Agree with liga on the min, and I think it’s probably even higher than that.
Yeah, the timing for Darnold this year worked out great. I still think he can work a deal with the Vikings. I seriously doubt he wants a replay of his first 3 years with some crap team for an extra few $M a year.
Baker was basically in the same situation last season with TB and they got the deal done.
Endowment sure, but it will be more like Belichick Hall or Bill Belichick Field or some other feel good thing.
FYI UNC endowment is about $5B. Raiders franchise is probably a bit less than half that. But whatever Mark says, Bill gets. Try working out that kind of deal with the Trustees at UNC.
Baker was basically in the same situation last season with TB and they got the deal done.
Baker didn't have a 1st round QB on a rookie contract taking a redshirt waiting in the wings tho
I have no knowledge of what the Vikings will do but I can absolutely see them rolling with McCarthy and Dimes and putting their money into other positions instead of re-signing Darnold. I can also see them treating McCarthy as a sunk cost or luxury item and signing Darnold given that he's been good (other than last Sunday) and he vibes with KOC.
Baker didn't have a 1st round QB on a rookie contract taking a redshirt waiting in the wings tho
I have no knowledge of what the Vikings will do but I can absolutely see them rolling with McCarthy and Dimes and putting their money into other positions instead of re-signing Darnold. I can also see them treating McCarthy as a sunk cost or luxury item and signing Darnold given that he's been good (other than last Sunday) and he vibes with KOC.
True, but that is countered with a super strong QB draft last year vs. almost nil this year.
Letting Darnold go and putting trust in McCarthy will be a big risk IMO. I guess you could beef up at RB/OL or DL, which they are not particularly strong at. But hard to improve on their wideouts/TE. But those wideouts will only be as good as the QB delivering the throws, and I have not seen a lot to conclude McCarthy is a plug and play.
Endowment sure, but it will be more like Belichick Hall or Bill Belichick Field or some other feel good thing.
FYI UNC endowment is about $5B. Raiders franchise is probably a bit less than half that. But whatever Mark says, Bill gets. Try working out that kind of deal with the Trustees at UNC.
That’s basically the deal he has. $10 mil for assistants, 4x prior NIL, bringing in a bunch of his own coaches, etc. UNC is all in on this working out.
I’m not saying his financial upside wouldn’t be higher in the NFL, but he’s already near the top of the college landscape, without ever having coached a college game.
Baker didn't have a 1st round QB on a rookie contract taking a redshirt waiting in the wings tho
I have no knowledge of what the Vikings will do but I can absolutely see them rolling with McCarthy and Dimes and putting their money into other positions instead of re-signing Darnold. I can also see them treating McCarthy as a sunk cost or luxury item and signing Darnold given that he's been good (other than last Sunday) and he vibes with KOC.
I think they'd trade McCarthy if they signed Darnold on a multi year
IMO, so long as they still believe in McCarthy's long term development and don't therefore want to sign Darnold to a multi year extension, this Darnold situation is exactly what the franchise tag should be used for. 1 more year to ensure the championship window (if they think this) stays open and then a nice transition to the younger guy
Based on market for McCarthy (which is probably pretty high), but dealing him for a 1st and 2nd or something like that (I'm guessing on market value) should put the Vikings in good shape for 2025.
Giants/Titans should be willing to bid up, as they have basically nothing at QB.
Rams/Vikings moved to Arizona.
Yeah, LA kinda falling apart right now
Darnold's getting franchised imo, then maybe they do the Washington/Kirk Cousins dance and he gets a mega deal somewhere.
How much is franchise tag $? If MIN can work a bargain 3 yr deal would that not be better?
Cap is going up every year, seems to me tying up future money now is the best move.
Maybe Darnold is ok with getting tagged but I doubt it.
How much is franchise tag $? If MIN can work a bargain 3 yr deal would that not be better?
Cap is going up every year, seems to me tying up future money now is the best move.
Maybe Darnold is ok with getting tagged but I doubt it.
Way better to tag him, and make him play one more year if that's an option. If this season wasn't a facade, then I'm sure they won't mind the few extra million it'll cost them to sign him after next season.
Don't think his feelings should play a part in the decision.
Let's say it costs Vikings $50M to tag Darnold. Assuming he plays 2025 same as this year, he likely signs a mega deal with somebody else. If he flops, you are either forced to keep McCarthy as a fallback (thus reducing your chances for a successful 2025), or be empty handed at QB.
Signing him to a 3 yr/$100M deal locks Darnold up with 2025 money, and frees up $17M of cap money for FA signups in 2025. That, plus trading McCarthy gives you more draft equity in 2025 for a greater chance of success. If Darnold plays well in 2025 its win/win. If he flops you are not in much worse shape than tagging him, as 2026 cap will be higher than 2025, and Vikings net loss is about $20M (assuming a $70M cap hit for 2025+2026).
Basically, tagging Darnold almost makes it a necessity to keep McCarthy, thus negating any value he might add for 2025. That, for a savings af about $20M which only materializes if Darnold flops.
This changes if Vikings can tag Darnold again in 2026. But that will be even more $ and I would think Vikings would be comfortable signing him to a multi year deal then.
You all know the classic saying:
No matter how rich you are, everybody’s got a price.
Although this reminds me of the former Nets owner Prokhorov wanting to hire Coach K. He literally presented a blank check and said fill in whatever number you want to coach the Nets.
Coach K declined, saying he was more than happy where he was, didn’t want to move his family, etc. and no amount of money would change his mind.
Maybe he didn’t like the idea of working for a Russian Oligarch or perhaps he was wary of being exposed as an inept coach in the NBA.
Way better to tag him, and make him play one more year if that's an option. If this season wasn't a facade, then I'm sure they won't mind the few extra million it'll cost them to sign him after next season.
Don't think his feelings should play a part in the decision.
I agree. It’s nothing personal or with feelings —- strictly business. And he should understand that.
Yeah, I actually think Darnold would prefer getting tagged.
I'm looking at it from Vikings future win equity position.
How much is franchise tag $? If MIN can work a bargain 3 yr deal would that not be better?
Cap is going up every year, seems to me tying up future money now is the best move.
Maybe Darnold is ok with getting tagged but I doubt it.
it's about $40m. I think the tag is good if they really believe in McCarthy. If they don't or are super excited by Darnold then they do a LT deal and trade McCarthy. I don't think they will do LT deal and keep McCarthy
Agree 100%
QB franchise tag $41m
Transition Tag $35m
