2024 NFL Regular Season: The NFL Playoffs Are Upon Us!

2024 NFL Regular Season: The NFL Playoffs Are Upon Us!

You know, since the Super Bowl periodically i will watch the CBS Sinatra intro cuz it was ****ing magnificent. Halfway through i will remember how that game went and I will be dead inside. I hate myself enough that I will keep ripping off the scab. A niners fan in their 30s probably knows more heartbreak than any fan living, and I say that knowing that stupid ass team in upstate New York lost 4 straight Super Bowls. I come into this season knowing an inevitability that the 9ers will be good. Very good. And like that they've done for a ****ing decade they will find a brand new way to rip my ****ing heart out inches away from a Super Bowl. I am about to waste 5 ****ing months of my life bracing myself for the inevitable. With that in mind i come into this season with a new outlook:

**** you all. Every last one of you. Indiscrimenantly and unconditionally. All of you ****ers deserve pain and I wish nothing less than that for you. I jerked off when Rodgers tore his achilles 4 snaps into the season cuz I hate him. I am prepared to replicate that for the rest of you. I will bring you down to my level and laugh at your misery until nothing is left but ash.

With that in mind, welcome to the 2024 NFL season.

(Sorting by Super Bowl Odds)

Kansas City Chiefs, +600
Travis Kelce is a braindead mongoloid in a relationship of circumstance with a singer who looks like an abstract painting drawn by a drunk. Your quarterback has a voice that makes me think he sits in the corner and jerks off while his attention whore whore of a wife gets gangbanged to post on IG. His family is full of a sexual predator and a drunk ass father. You are coached by a man who is as objectively terrible at fatherhood as he is at portion control. YOU WANT THEM NUGGIES?! probably not as much as your kids wanted a present dad. Too bad one killed himself and the other killed someone else. But hey, he's got a mustache and he looks like the kool-aid man. WHAT A GUY! Your fans suck. Your forum should be under constant terror surveillance. You still do some racist ass chant because now that Snyder left someone has to wear the mantle of "**** you native americans this is our tradition now." **** you then. **** you now. **** you forever.

San Francisco 49ers, +600
GOD. ****ING. DAMNIT. **** this team that has taken so much of my soul I am certain if an afterlife exists neither side will claim me. Kyle Shanahan? If you choked on dick as much as you choke when it matters you'd either be dead of asphyxiation or your body would be 97% the cum of other men. I am a liberal of Middle Eastern descent rooting for a team whose marquee defensive player gets rock hard at the sight of Trump and whose 7th round QB is a member of Focus on the Family. The levels of moral compromise it takes for me to root for them is only offset by the fact that CTE exists and it all levels out in the end. Watch these ****ers go 14-3 and lose in the Super Bowl because, I dunno, they decide to do some nonsense like take a knee in the end zone to start OT

Baltimore Ravens, +1000
You ****ing worthless bastards. You had one one ****ing job and that was to get your fraud ass MVP RB1 WR1 to the Super Bowl to get your anus protruded. Congrats on giving the keys to your future to a guy so stupid his mom is his agent. The best player in your history was a murderer. The best RB in your history I'm pretty sure is also a murderer. The best QB in your history is basically a runningback who can occassionally throw a football which means he's basically black Julian Edelman with the ability to do an inside handoff. It warms my heart you will never win anything, not because the Chefs are in your conference but because Lamar ain't ****ing ****. You might be feeling a certain kind of way reading me say this but I also watched this guy implode at home in the AFCCG so the burden of proof is on you to tell me this guy ****ing matters. **** you

Detroit Lions, +1200
Bahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaa what can i actually say to you that God already hasn't. When you are a fan of Detroit sports you have already made a decision your life has no meaning or value. As a Niners fan it warms my heart that we own your ****ing asses. You idiots are so terrible at all things sports you let a guy catch a 50 yard pass off your ****ing helmet. Remember when the Giants swept the best Tigers team you'll ever have? I sure as **** remember. It's cute you think you matter cuz you have some retread QB with no talent other than the worst Super Bowl performance of the modern era and because you decided to give AMSR all the money. Have fun with the consequences of winning the first playoff games in the last half century. I see zero downside here.

Philadelphia Eagles, +1300
The most meaningless 10-1 start in history. No existence has ever shown itself to be more fraudulent than the hype behind "I SQUAT ALL THE POUNDS" and Nick Siriosis. Your QB is **** elevated by a gimmick. Your coach is **** elevated by coordinators who once upon a time were able to hide it. Your city deserves to be nuked from orbit. Nothing on earth means less to societal benefit than a Philly sports fan. You clowns combine the entitlement of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the stupidity of St. Louis Cardinals Fans with the "my life has no meaning other than the team I root for" of Buffalo Bills fans. You suck so much I once bought a 2+2er a secret santa gift of 7 6ers tickets 1 in each section costing me a total of 20 bucks. That 2+2er lived in Atlanta.

Houston Texans, +1500
I don't give a **** about you

Cincinnati Bengals, +1500
The only good thing to come out of Ohio is the cry from help that comes from anyone who lives there. Skyline Chili? Have some ****ing self-respect you indulgent fat bastards. Stop trying to make Joe Burrow a thing. The only thing that separates that bleached hair ****boi from Boomer Esiason is a cigar. Also the best QB you ever had before this literally chose to name himself BOOMER. No part of me can take you seriously no matter how much you all dEmAnD tO bE tAkEn SeRiOuSlY. You go to a stadium that looks so decrepit I can't rule out it was built in 2700 BC by the Pharoah's slaves to give the cheapest man alive your hard earned money to maybe watch 1 playoff game before you go to the bar and pass up your chance at pussy by telling whatever slag you found on a Craigslist personals ad your hour long retrospective on how Akili Smith just had bad luck

Buffalo Bills +1500
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

You people are something else. Leave it to the team Bon Jovi and Trump couldn't trick people into letting them buy to gloss themselves a mafia because they jump through tables and show up to 0 degree weather games topless and blackout drunk on PBR. 4 Super Bowl Losses Were Not Enough. I fully expect Dom and that other half_nit to scream about how they're going to kill me for this post before they fall asleep in a puddle of their own piss and vomit surrounded by bottles of miller high life and wake up confused about why Josh Allen threw 7 picks in a game they missed. Spare me. I don't care. You guys will suck forever

Dallas Cowboys, +1800
Remember the time Zeke was your lone lineman in the last play of a playoff game? Remember that the coach who drew that up is still your coach? I can't prove it but your owner is a pedo. Jerry will outlive all of you which means that you will never ever ever see a Super Bowl appearance much less a win. ****, you're a dog to even make an NFCCG. But you know what? you deserve it. Every last element of the Dallas Cowboys, their fans, the city of Dallas, the state of Texas is a constant reminder to any decent human being that life can be much, much worse. Imagine being the sole thing on this ****ing earth Stephen A Smith can dunk on.

New York Jets, +1800
On my ****ing life I hope the season opener includes the paralysis of RFK Jr's VP and Podcast Punter's meal ticket. I will happily accept the niners never winning another ****ing game if they end his career opening night. The NFL has included rapists and murderers and somehow I hate the most overrated QB in the history of the game more than any of them. Aaron Hernandez literally got sentenced to life in prison and hung himself and I think Rodgers deserves the chair more. Rae Carruth had someone kill his baby mama and I think Rodgers has a greater claim to being buried under Guantanamo.
J
E
T
S

YOU

SUCK

DICK

Your levels of desperation of disrepair has brought you to this point. Your team is such a ****ing joke Bardy made a 9/11 joke about you that brought the house down.

Green Bay Packers, +1800
Imagine having Favre and Rodgers for 2 decades and ending up with as little as you did. Imagine having the 2 best QBs in your existence be the guy in that movie where that woman put cum in her hair as gel and ended up scamming the state of Mississippi who sends random dick pics to reporters and a guy who is someone more hatable than THAT. It's fitting that the public owns the Packers because you all deserve to wear this. You stupid cheesehead wearing halfwits. I've been to Wisconsin once. The only thing redeemable about that shithole is that I could leave it. And even that seemed dicey.

To the rest of the teams i have not named in this post it is because i do not care enough about you to write paragraphs about you. The panthers have a midget as a QB, the browns have a sexual predator. The boncos have a pill popping piece of **** as their coach, the stealers are lol, pray at the feet of a rapist and have concussion water as their QB1. The Chargers have a coach who sleeps over at the homes of kickers who are not of legal age to make sure they don't go to anyone else but daddy. The Jaguars have the HPoolV stadium and are owned by a guy in a cartoonish mustache with a son who is not Triple H

I wish you all pain. I will not suffer alone.

Let us football

Mod Edit:


List of Other Team Votes with Selection:
newguyhere: Dolphins
marknfw: Cowboys

) 8 Views 8
09 August 2024 at 01:34 AM
Reply...

3444 Replies

5
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by feel wrath k

Once Flacco won it last year over Hamlin, the award couldn’t be taken seriously any more

Didn't Hamlin play in like 4-5 games that year, and almost all on ST? Great feel-good story but I'd rather give the award to somebody that had a meaningful contribution on the field.


by Onlydo2days k

he was 25-1 going into the final game, I thought if Cincy won to give the Chargers a reason to try and he went off against the Raiders that he could win to cap the season off. But he basically did nothing and kinda sucked all yr after a few big games early, don't think he'll win now but guess it is possible.

The Darnold/Burrow thing is definitely interesting, obviously the AP doesn't want people voting for guys like Darnold who aren't coming back from any real hardship but Burrow is kindof above

Well, Josh Jacobs went thru some hardship last year. He had to play under Antonio Pierce. I would vote for him.

Darnold is not coming back to anything, he was always bad until this season.


by newguyhere k

That's a meh argument that could be used about any top 10-15 QB.

You know what the Phins were without Tua? the worst offense in the league.

does that mean he should be MVP? Of course not.

Yeah, you are looking at it the wrong way. The Dolphins without Tua playing were rolling out not even a top 40 QB. A much better way is what are the Ravens or Bills with an average QB? I'd say the Bills would be significantly under .500 and the Ravens would be only slightly worse.


by GMan42 k

Didn't Hamlin play in like 4-5 games that year, and almost all on ST? Great feel-good story but I'd rather give the award to somebody that had a meaningful contribution on the field.

Lol. That's the whole point of the award. It is a feel good award. Someone almost dies on the field and the aftermath transcends beyond football. But nah, give it to the old white guy who mostly sucked until last year and wasn't playing who then had like 6 good games, but was only impressive cause of how much he sucked beforehand. GMAFB.


It seemed like McDaniel had zero interest of redoing the playbook bringing in Huntley, who obviously could not perform at the level of Tua.

If week 1 McDaniel was forced to work with Huntley they probably win 4-5 games. That first week without Tua they would win maybe 2.


by GusJohnsonGOAT k

Lol. That's the whole point of the award. It is a feel good award. Someone almost dies on the field and the aftermath transcends beyond football. But nah, give it to the old white guy who mostly sucked until last year and wasn't playing who then had like 6 good games, but was only impressive cause of how much he sucked beforehand. GMAFB.

It's not an award I really pay any attention to, so if that's standard, fair enough lol.

Are there a lot of examples of it being given to a guy who juuuust started getting back on the field later in the season like Hamlin? Or who just played a token amount of snaps or whatever?


I don't really mind the voters not wanting to give it to Hamlin because he didn't play very much, but then Flacco isn't the winner either because he only played 6 games and didn't come back from anything.

It should've been someone like Tua who cameback from injury and had a great yr and played the whole season, not someone who rolled off the couch and gave the Browns like 6 solid games.

That was the straw that broke the camels back for comeback and made the AP say wtf is going on really


by feel wrath k

Once Flacco won it last year over Hamlin, the award couldn’t be taken seriously any more

I'm on board with this.

One guy got his old ass off the bench and threw a few TD passes.

The other guy came back from the dead and not only walked again but played in the NFL.


by GusJohnsonGOAT k

Yeah, you are looking at it the wrong way. The Dolphins without Tua playing were rolling out not even a top 40 QB. A much better way is what are the Ravens or Bills with an average QB? I'd say the Bills would be significantly under .500 and the Ravens would be only slightly worse.

I'm sure Ravens would be a good deal worse, Lamar is a great player but Bills would fall completely off the map imo.

Their best WR is Khalil Shakir, they just play this gimmick bend but dont break defense that only works because teams have to keep up with Allen and their offense. Ravens D sucked first half of the year but this is still a D with Hamilton, Humphrey, Roquan, Madubuike and they've rebounded since. Offense has Flowers, Andrews, Bateman. Oh btw Derrick Henry is on the team and running people over every week.

Also, to me this isn't the NBA where every game gets measured equally because it is a long ass season and no games mean anything. 4th and 2 and Josh Allen ran the Chiefs offense over with the season on the damn line, if the Chiefs didn't run so pure the rest of the season that win gets you homefield. He then goes into Detroit and LAR and hangs 40+ b2b. I also think (and the voters have done this as well FOREVER) that you overweight big games more towards the end of the season. Lamar basically came up short vs Philly and @Pitt. Last year Purdy or CMC was probably winning then they implode on Xmas and Lamar wins.

I probably sound biased but trust me, I don't care about any of these players but objectively, the Bills suck pretty bad...Reminds me of a LeBron Cleveland 1.0 team.

If it is just straight DYAR and EPA per play and advanced stats then Lamar wins I guess.....3 in 6 years, didn't know I was watching the GOAT in his prime. Pretty cool, I guess.


I know Hamlin actually almost died. But Flacco practically came back from the dead to lead the Browns to playoffs. What else do you guys expect a man to do?

The fact that the world hates Deshaun didn’t hurt, either.


Bills were supposed to be in rebuilding mode this year, so that's a big plus for Josh getting MVP. What hurts him is Bills not getting HFA, which historically is a big factor for MVP. One can say the 17 game season is long (and indeed it is), but getting your *ss handed to you early in the season by the guy who is either #1 or #2 in the MVP race does matter with the voters. If BUF wins that game Josh gets MVP in a landslide, regardless of any stats Lamar fans might point to.

Ravens system is designed around Lamar, and it has been for a few years now. Putting Josh into that system would not work out well because it short changes Josh's big gains running the ball, but exposes his inability to extend plays like Lamar. And I don't mean that to slight Josh, but Lamar is far and away the best at avoiding sacks and extending plays. He is even better than Mahomes, who seems to have slowed down a bit but has other qualities that no other QB has.

IRT Lamar in BUF, I agree Lamar would not have achieved the same level of success that Josh has, but again the Bills system is 100% Josh, just like in BAL.


by tarheels2222 k

I know Hamlin actually almost died. But Flacco practically came back from the dead to lead the Browns to playoffs. What else do you guys expect a man to do?

The fact that the world hates Deshaun didn’t hurt, either.

Flacco's stats weren't even that impressive. Just Deshaun was awful, so it made him look like peak Mahomes. It's actually embarrassing and disgraceful he won.


by feel wrath k

If Josh had won 2 already and Lamar none, Lamar wins easily

Josh shouldn't win because he hasn't won it yet and the other guy already has

I have no problem with Lamar winning this year over Josh in a vacuum. They are both deserving.

I do, however, have a problem with Lamar winning it last year and the reasons given by voters AND winning it this year When they are apparently ignoring those same reasons when it comes to Josh.

It's bullsh*t. And makes the award meaningless.


by PokerHero77 k

Bills were supposed to be in rebuilding mode this year, so that's a big plus for Josh getting MVP. What hurts him is not getting HFA, which historically is a big factor for MVP. One can say the 17 game season is long (and indeed it is), but getting your *ss handed to you early in the season by the guy who is either #1 or #2 in the MVP race does matter with the voters.

Ravens system is designed around Lamar, and it has been for a few years now. Putting Josh into that system would not work out wel

I think because the Bills have basically been a contender for 5-6 years now that people just kinda underrate how talent deficient this team is.

This happened with the Patriots and Brady a few times throughout the years. Over time people just associate the team with being "good" and you don't really get the proper credit for carrying a team. Although I never thought Brady got MVP snubbed fwiw.

Some of this is because Bills schedule was much harder, but there is a reason they were similar odds to win the division as the Jets/Dolphins despite having a consensus top 3 player in the league. That reason is because everyone knew the talent on this team sucked with Diggs being dealt/washed, Milano missing most of the year, Hyde/Poyer/White all heading out and the Allen era 1.0 defenses largely having faded. It is just a pretty mid group as the kids would say.

Fast forward 4 months and while people acknowledge Allen/Lamar is close, they don't really seem to be giving Allen the credit for this.

Allen basically has the teams Peyton Manning stans thought he had in the mid 2000s (boom roasted)


by GusJohnsonGOAT k

Yeah, you are looking at it the wrong way. The Dolphins without Tua playing were rolling out not even a top 40 QB. A much better way is what are the Ravens or Bills with an average QB? I'd say the Bills would be significantly under .500 and the Ravens would be only slightly worse.

I won't argue about the Bills minus Allen, but Ravens minus Lamar are not "slightly worse." We've seen what the Ravens were with Huntley and it's a far cry from what that offense is currently.

edit: that's also to say that Henry has benefitted greatly from being in an offense with Lamar. Vice versa is true too, but I think we have enough data to suggest that Lamar makes the players around him great.


by Onlydo2days k

I think because the Bills have basically been a contender for 5-6 years now that people just kinda underrate how talent deficient this team is.

This happened with the Patriots and Brady a few times throughout the years. Over time people just associate the team with being "good" and you don't really get the proper credit for carrying a team. Although I never thought Brady got MVP snubbed fwiw.

Some of this is because Bills schedule was much harder, but there is a reason they were similar odds to w

What is unique here is neither Lamar nor Josh have done anything in the playoffs. With Brady/Manning at least they got to the SB and won, and in the case of Brady he won a lot.

As said above MVP is a regular season award, but if one of these guys had gotten to and/or won a SB it would significantly improve their MVP equity in future years.

I get the idea that BUF is replacement level talent outside of Josh, but a look around the league and there are few, if any teams that stand up well outside of a top level QB. PHI and MIN maybe.


by PokerHero77 k

What is unique here is neither Lamar nor Josh have done anything in the playoffs. With Brady/Manning at least they got to the SB and won, and in the case of Brady he won a lot.

As said above MVP is a regular season award, but if one of these guys had gotten to and/or won a SB it would significantly improve their MVP equity in future years.

I don't think so really, if playoff resume mattering was a thing then Lamar would've clearly lost.

Instead he is going to have more MVPs than playoff wins at time of voting. I figured voters wouldn't want to do that for fear of him struggling again would make them look bad, but they just didn't care and said DYAR ride or die.

Agree with you that NFL is basically just musical chairs parity besides the sustainable edge of QB now. Still I'd say Allen is varying levels of talent/coaching behind Mahomes, Hurts, Lamar, Burrow, Goff


And to those saying The Bills have Josh and a bunch of nobodies, even tho that makes the argument that Josh should be MVP over Lamar stronger, is not true

Dion Dawkins is considered by most who actually watch the games AND the analytics be a top 5 OT. Spencer Brown a top 15 OT. Gregory Rousseau pressure/rush is up there with the best in the league, hell so is Von's this year - but one doesn't have double digit sacks and the other doesn't play a lot of snaps. Taron Johnson has been a top 3 Slot corner the last 3 years...some day the best. And Christian Benford is like top 5 in every metric for CBs that you can find, but he's a former 6th round pick who no one really
And don't even get me started on James Cook. Lol the guy leads the league in touchdowns, or is right there (I haven't looked it up to see if he still is) and that's with Josh apparently vulturing his inside-the-5 touches, like everyone complains about.
Hell, Khalil Shakir has a fantastic year as a slot receiver and led the league in YAC for most of the year.

They are not nobodies, just not known lol.

Anyway, playoff football, baby! Love it. So fun. And I love I get to see the Bills be one of the favorites, no matter the result.


Ravens in their last 11 games sans Lamar are 3-8, so they're clearly worse off without him. Can't really compare to the Bills since Josh is a tough cookie and doesn't miss games.


by Dominic k

And to those saying The Bills have Josh and a bunch of nobodies, even tho that makes the argument that Josh should be MVP over Lamar stronger, is not true

Dion Dawkins is considered by most who actually watch the games AND the analytics be a top 5 OT. Spencer Brown a top 15 OT. Gregory Rousseau pressure/rush is up there with the best in the league, hell so is Von's this year - but one doesn't have double digit sacks and the other doesn't play a lot of snaps. Taron Johnson has been a top 3 Slot c

I mean every team has some good players, sure. But if by the 2nd sentence you're naming a situational pass rusher and a slot corner, then it kinda speaks to the point.

I can't think of a 13-14 win team that had less talent from 2-52 on the roster than this Bills team.

I also can't prove this but I think a lot of their OL metrics have to do with blocking for Josh Allen.


Obviously most backups suck, Allen/Lamar go down at any given time and team could get a lot worse.

The best proxy for this is if you replaced both with a replacement level QB (I don't know, who is average and we could slot into both teams? Kyler Murray?) then what happens?

I'd guess Ravens are still above avg/decent and the Bills probably suck


by Onlydo2days k

I don't think so really, if playoff resume mattering was a thing then Lamar would've clearly lost.

Instead he is going to have more MVPs than playoff wins at time of voting. I figured voters wouldn't want to do that for fear of him struggling again would make them look bad, but they just didn't care and said DYAR ride or die

Imagine if Josh won SB last year, and Lamar had won MVP (which he did). IMO swing voters would have a much easier time voting Josh because he has that SB win along with very impressive reg season stats/record in 2024.

But I do agree with you that the hardcore Lamar/stats guys would not change their vote regardless. But they would be in the minority so it wouldn't matter.


by Onlydo2days k

Obviously most backups suck, Allen/Lamar go down at any given time and team could get a lot worse.

The best proxy for this is if you replaced both with a replacement level QB (I don't know, who is average and we could slot into both teams? Kyler Murray?) then what happens?

I'd guess Ravens are still above avg/decent and the Bills probably suck

It also goes to coaching. I don't think there is much of an argument that Jim Harbough is a better coach than Sean McDermott, and would likely do more with less.


by newguyhere k

Ravens in their last 11 games sans Lamar are 3-8, so they're clearly worse off without him. Can't really compare to the Bills since Josh is a tough cookie and doesn't miss games.

Don't some of those games include rest/playoff seeding locked games?

But like with Tua, a coach is not going to change to a different system more favorable to a replacement QB if the starter will be returning.


by PokerHero77 k

What is unique here is neither Lamar nor Josh have done anything in the playoffs.

.

Um, wtf are you talking about? Maybe look up Josh's numbers in the playoffs. He's literally one of the best playoff QBs ever.

21 TDs, 4 INTs, a rating of 100.0, avgs 274 yards a game...and oh yeah, 56 yards a game rushing with 5 TDs and 1 RECEIVING TD lol.

He's literally almost unstoppable and is absurdly clutch. Go ahead and count how many times he either left the field with the lead or a tie at the end of the game and then the defense or special teams let him down. It's been very Billsy lol.

And I haven't even listed the analytical metrics of his playoff games.

****

Josh Allen is 1 of 1. Fine, you wanna take Lamar or Mahomes or even Burrow over him, I won't argue, they're all great.

You wanna hate because you're a Dolphins or Jets fan, that's great..that's the fun part of being a fan.

I wouldve stopped trolling this pathetic forum years ago if just ONE of you had, after it was clear that I was right in the early days of Allen's career when I said, "hey guys, there's something here. I'm watching all the games and this kid is special."

But no, none of you ever did. Not once. You've stuck to the script that Josh is not as good as he obviously is. It's laughable.

That's why I keep posting ridiculous Josh stats.

Tell you what, if SRM or Ligstar, or Feel Wrath reply to this and say, "I was wrong about Josh Allen. He is a great quarterback, hell maybe the best in the league right now, and he is on his way to a HOF career," I will not post in this forum about football again, until the Bills win a SB. 😃

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