Project 100

Gl, following!

GL OP!

Finished day 1 and ran extremely bad the whole day. I don't know if I should try to stop looking at my results daily but lets keep going what we started. I have been running probably bottom 5% for the past 2 months and it really didn't change today.

Well, it is what it is and we can only do so much.

Bankroll: 3350e (-650e) Might have to play some NL50 if I don't start winning

Today
[x] 2*20min of meditation
[x] ~3000 hands of poker
[x] Update this thread

Tomorrow
[ ] 2*20min of meditation
[ ] ~2000 hands of poker
[ ] Update this thread

This is crazy how poorly one can run. I lost like 5 AK vs KK in a row and was tilted like crazy already, complaining out loud "how can this be true, how can this be true" etc. I should have quit already long ago since I've felt a bit sick today and slept poorly last night but I kept playing. Then I ran 230bb deep full house vs quads 77 vs 99 on a 99723 on a 3b-pot and I couldn't almost take it. I am on life tilt and see monsters pretty much every 3-bet pot hand and when they actually happen I am in a state of shock. I Can't say I've played poorly but obviously this is not a state of mind where you want to be so I might have to figure something out bankroll wise.

I skipped meditations today and am so tired already that it is not worth napping now. I try to cool down some way and find positive somewhere and get a good night sleep.

Bankroll (2850e) (-500e)

Past 2 months have been truly something grazy run-wise and I am really not complaining for nothing.

Prioritising sleep and fixing other chronically bad habits

I have been in a bad mental space for a long time already and I really need to fix them. First comes sleep. I really need a better way to cool down before going to sleep.

I will start prioritise sleep over everything from now on and form my grinding schedule around that. First thing that pops into my mind while writing this (btw writing seems to be a good therapy session since you get things out of your head) is that I need to play more earlier in the day and quit earlier. I have this Oura-ring which tries to recommend me to go to sleep around 11:30pm for my circadian rhythm. And now for my current sleeping habits it recommends me to go to sleep between 00:30-01:30. I will start to shift this towards going to sleep around midnight which means I will start quitting games around 23pm.

I will also lower my goals with meditations. If someone has good advice for these please share. I do meditations to clear my head and I love the feeling after a really long one but starting is sometimes very hard for me. I feel like I would like to move to a monastery for a year or something but it's not possible right now. They say that the more you resist doing your meditation the more you need to just do it so maybe I would just need to sit down for an hour or so a day. Well these are just my drain of thoughts at the moment while trying to set up my plans which will be set in the end of this post.

I believe people, me included, have bad habit of trying to fix things by thinking and learning more and I try to do the opposite. Somebody said that you won't get a beautiful flower by focusing on it's beauty but doing everything else like watering it and so on. So my focus is now to not study more but to focus on my mental state. I do need to study the game but it is more for the mental game as well. I feel like if i study something it keeps me more interested and focused to the game also while playing. Well I will track more my feelings about 5 things which I will copy-paste daily here. I might write these crazy drain of though-posts as well when I feel like it but this will probably be more of a recap of the day-type of blog

Project 100 - Step 1 (10k bankroll) - Daily feelings

Sleep - Goal is to get my reciliance level to highest level (exceptional)

Meditation - Goal is to meditate minimum of 30 minutes daily

Poker - Goal is to have 5 hours of good quality gameplay

Study - TBA how and what. Just try to look up spots daily

Bankroll - Posting results here daily. 40 buy-ins per level when dropping stakes

Played very well today. First session was a nightmare and I lost around 5 buy-ins and it felt like there was nothing I could do. I started playing less tables and felt like I shifted into another reality. I started winning hands. Maybe meta universe is giving me guidance and fixes my run when I do the right things. I can't explane it any other way because it was like magic.
I am feeling a little sick though so there is always a catch. Tomorrow I go with my feeling if I play or not.

Played ~2500 hands
Bankroll (3150e) (+300e)

First green of the project!

I thought about goals in general and ended up realizing couple of things I want to write down. I think goals are not meant to be set for too long periods of time. Meaning that you are going to change and circumastances are going to change. Obviously if you set a goal for like 20 years from now and try to stick with it no matter what, you will end up being a slave to that goal. reasons for my goals are the following:

Long term goals
100k€ Bankroll - I want to be able to play bigger games and see if I still really love poker if I commit to it. I feel like I need a proper bankroll to see excactly what I want. If I don't like my work after this goal is finished, I will start doing something else, but even then I need the money to also take time for myself to see what I can and want to do. I have been on a some kind of bankroll pressure for whole my career so trying to do this with better BRM is also going to make me see things differently

Short term goals
NL200 - This is obviously just the next step but I feel like I can breathe a little bit after having 10k bankroll. I am not in the perfect place right now so I want to have a shorter term goal which will remind me that I am capable of reaching the long term goal as well.

Daily Goals:
I realized that I want to set up daily goals indepentently every day and be really flexible with them. Meaning that if I have a hectic day I might set myself to play 1000 hands and if I have more time I might try to shoot for the 3000. So I will most like write here every day my goals for the day. Obviously I have guidelines that will support my long term goals but I feel like being flexible with these is important.

Well thats about it.

Today:

I try to play 2000 hands and get to sleep earlier. I don't feel 100% and I slept poorly last night. I am excited actually about grinding but I feel like I should not push myself today.
I will do 30 minutes meditation session before my evening session.

Played less what I was supposed but I did play well for the most part. I did my 30min meditation but didn't really deep because I was too tired and it ended up working more like a nap.

First time for a while I will turn my computer off early end have a good night sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be a better day for me to play longer hours and if I feel good I will try to play 2500 hands.

Today
Played ~2500 hands
Bankroll (3150e) (+-0€)

I didn't play this project as much as I planned but got some quality hours outside of this project. Ended up winning almost 3k outside of this project (50% for my friend).

For this project I played:
~1500 hands
Bankroll (3420e) (+270e)

I am feeling really confident after I started playing less tables. Today I had some concentration issues because of irl problems but still played somewhat well. Usually if I play more tables and lose focus I start to be to passive in some ways and too aggressive in the spots where variance isn't necessary. It is a complicated game but still the mental game seems to be the bigger issue for me. I am not saying I am close to being the best player of this game but I surely am not supposed to be grinding NL100. Live and learn, forget and repeat...

Well I am happy I am writing here even though these are not very thoughtful posts and I am mostly writing whatever comes to my mind and doing pretty much zero proof-reading. I feel like this is helping me to stay on a right track even though I might not be writing anything really meaningful.

Tomorrow I will aim to play at least 2000 hands. I thought I slept well today but my heart-rate was really high so there is still some flu going on in my body so lets see how this night goes.

Oura says I've dropped my recilience down to level 2/5 but it will be back to level 3/5 with a decent night. My goal is still to have me on level 5/5.

Good luck!

Thank you for all the GL's!

Had some IRL issues so I ended up taking a day of. This might be the best step for my success since I could have played but I would have been tilting easily and most likely played C-game or something if I ran well. Hopefully I will be in better headspace for the games tomorrow!

I was still having an elevated heart rate last night and had some flu symptoms, hopefully they will be gone tomorrow so I might get some exercise to clear my head.