50 Euro to my name and heavily in debt. Lets spin it up to 500k

gl. I want to see you succeed ^3^

Alright, so I took a little degen detour but I am ready to get cracking. Stars allowing 6 tables of cash is pretty good for me. It's the only site I have been able to play more than 4 tables comfortably because Starscaption makes it relatively easy.

starting balance is $90 dollars.

Going to play 6-8 hours and will post my graph at the end of the session. My Goal is to make 12 000 dollars between now and December 1 and then head to Vegas for some live action.

I feel you sir, I’ve been playing 15 years ago with moderate success, I the meantime I got married, had a kid and run a largest company in the country in my sector. The company went broke .Now I’m 150k eur in debt and I have 40 eur in my bankroll. Wishing you luck and me myself too

Sorry to hear that Qtang, whats your strategy moving forward?

Alright, another day in the books. Ran extremely bad. Bankroll down to 14 dollars.

[image]eIemj4t.png[/im

..]

I also lost this hand below at 10PLO which was pretty gross. Made a crying call on the river so it isn't even reflected in the all in EV.

14 dollars between me and the end of my poker career tomorrow I guess. I guess the poker gods will decide.

Grinding mtt from the scratch. I did it once, from like 60 eur, I can do it again. This time is different tho, field has changed dramatically over them 15 years. I’ll make it either way, have no choice

Lose it to zero, even if you don’t have any cash to redeposit, in worst case you can pawn something (I did that recently). This helps a lot, regardless of how bad it feels

So i woke up today pretty depressed, it could possibly be the last day I ever play poker. I contemplated what the rest of my life would look like. I watched an old gambling classic called Owning Mahowny which is a story about a guy who stole millions from a Canadian bank and gambled it away. I don't think I have watched it in over 10 years but I am glad I did. There is one particular line in it that hits close to home. The main characters bookie is talking about him and says something along the lines of "You know why he wants to win? So he has the money to keep losing"? It is such an accurate description of my life it's kind of scary. Anyways after the movie I made myself a meal before I got started playing.

Alright, steak and brocoli was meh not a great cook on it but it could always be worse. So I luckily won a few of my first all ins, maybe the poker gods don't want me to hang it up just yet and I really think I owe it to myself to see how far I can take poker when I am actually motivated and not gambling. Which btw I am at 72 hours without placing a bet, which is very good for me sadly.
I had a pretty good day and am going to bed above my initial starting point.

[image]9jOtcRU.png[/im

..]

[image]ENEt7Rl.png[/im

..]

Bankroll is now 151 dollars, there is still hope.

If you play 5plo from here and are a winner you have a pretty high % chance to make it. If you play 10plo you might still make it but are taking a dumb risk. If you really believe in yourself and your ability you're gonna give yourself the best chance to succeed. Good luck either way

One of the most frustrating nights of my life poker wise. I am repeatedly running into top of range against my opponents and can not win an important hand if my life depended on it. Cashed like 1 of 17 spin n go max as well. 12 000 hands into this and also basically even in cash games. Got my 125 dollar rakeback chest which is the only reason the bankroll is still alive.

I actually had a bit of tilt tonight too which is very rare for me. Bankroll is now 164 dollars.

There is always tomorrow but tonight was very tough. Even the card distribution was just insane.

Poker is a beautiful game but man does it drive me fucking crazy. I am now almost 300 dollars below EV, and even that isn't telling the entire story. Basically any time there is a fish 3 betting and 4 betting at the table I am losing hands like this one below.

Like it's not an insane beat or anything but even when I flop well I am behind. Villian has been basically getting it in with any flush draw or top pair for 45 minutes and when I finally get a good spot he has actually flopped a set. So many hands like this.

[image]87IIILr.png[/im

..]

Could really use all the equity I am being robbed of as well. I guess I deserve it for putting myself in this position but I hope it ends soon. Also lost my two biggest spots in some spin n go max both with KK vs Ace rag, at least another 100 bucks in equity between those two hands.
Good news is, I get to wake up and play more poker tomorrow.
I am now 4 or 5 days without gambling which feels really good.

[image]SH1Q4ch.png[/im

..]

540 dollars below EV at micro stakes is really gross. The dread of knowing you are going to lose every time you are all in before river sucks really bad. Almost 60 hours of play busting my ass.
Anyone I have tagged as a mega whale just keeps stinging me. Put in my numbers into the prime dope variance calculator and I should only have a run this bad over a 20k sample like 4% of the time. I may be calling it quits here, so many millions of dollars in EV last in crucial hands throughout my life. While the amount of money is insignificant in this most recent build attempt I just can not get the poker black cloud to leave me.

gogogogogogoog I just want that you succeed so bad!!! let's go my friend!!!

Almost 900 dollars below EV at micro stakes + I am on the wrong end of some insane card distribution.
Oh yeah, I have only cashed 2 out of 30 tournaments. Not much else to say. Last night I took a shot in the 22 bounty, got it all in with AA vs Aq and AJ pre flop. Ended up busting when both of them made a flush. The only tourney I played today I busted about 6 hands in KK vs AA.
This is the most demoralizing shit ever.

[image]aYfGxvx.png[/im

..]

Sigh.

Figured I would show my MTT bust hands today too as I am having a hard time believing this is even real.

[image]cE3JxG8.png[/im

..]

Guy raises 89o UTG, I 3 bet and then we get it all in on the 9 high flop.

Roped the guy along this hand, heading into river he has 7bb left.

All in pre.
Now I know you are going to bust a lot of MTT this way.
The issue is I am busting the tourneys almost as quick as I register them.
I am losing every hand at every table at every format basically.
This is literally making me start to lose my mind.

GL OP and dont give up! Just a question, PLO is higher variance game, it needs more buyins to feel comfortable, you dont play NL?

Challenge ends now.
I ran 38 buy ins below EV tonight.
I finished off the last of my bankroll losing a 700bb pot to a 2 outer river.

Almost 65000 hands played and a total of 91 buy ins below EV.
No more.

This was the most likely outcome of playing PLO day after day on a 10-20 buy in BR when 10-20bi swings are extremely frequent. Sucks to run really bad but having an adequate BR for the stakes you're playing is the only thing you can do to combat this. You can't just magically run better, all you can do is have enough $ to say in action when the inevitable storm hits. If you take another go at it I'd suggest smaller stakes or a bigger starting BR that can't be wiped out by a few thousand hands of running bad

Hey man, respect for drawing that line in the sand and committing to the grind—quitting the other stuff is huge. Starting from the micros in PLO sounds smart; just stay disciplined with your BRM and you'll chip away at it. Rooting for you to hit that 500k, follow your progress! Keep us posted.

Okay, since last post I got back to the grind. I played at GG, ipoker and a bit of coin poker. I lost about 1400 dollars mostly at PLO25 over 19000 hands. Expected winnings was around 900 bucks. So I am now almost 200 buy ins below EV in less than 100 000 hands. Prime dope variance calculator has the odds of me being on a downswing after that many hands with my win rate to be a roughly 1 in 1000 chance.

So basically once in a lifetime kind of run bad. Anyways I have been obsessing over my graph and constantly updating it while playing because it's just so hard to believe I am losing every hand.

Since it's Friday night I am deleting my database and giving this another shot. I have 105 bucks at stars and desperately need 1400 dollars by MONDAY and another 900 needed by next weekend. I am in such a bad position financially it's kind of hard to believe.

Going to try and play 18 hours straight and see where it takes me.

How did it go?