200 bucks and a dream

Nice dream.

Still waiting on Coinbase settlement. Also need to remember to deposit on Wednesday for their HUMPDAY bonus (?) . I foolishly used the welcome bonus with a $25 credit card deposit a while ago and now that option is gone :(

Fired another shot at that splashy private game, in twice for $200 but out for profit of $80. Card dead, played well... just one notable hand;

I'm UTG+1 opening AQcc
Crazy sicko guy in LJ 3-bets big
Standard C (could 4-bet against this guy), HU to flop with $60 in pot
Flop comes Jc 10c brick, action X X
Turns 8s giving me double gutter on top of FD. I bet $20 and this guy beats me into the pot for almost the rest of my stack. I think it was $120 more. Call $120 for $320... pretty obvious decision with my holding (in my head I thought I had 19 outs, but I sort of miscalculated here especially). I know this guy just has JX 90% of the time, but I'm still unsure about calling and leaving $40 behind, it felt weird.
Rivers Qh and I sheepishly ship in the rest of my stack thinking I'm good. Guy turns over J9o and I lose! Can probably check but I don't think I can ever fold top-top as played for $40/$400. This guy can go crazy with all his draws as well, so folding the turn seems impossible. Not sure. I think important to note how many draw combos I'm blocking tho.

Maybe in spots like this where I'm firing a shot at a soft game I can hold back on the drawy stuff, and find a fold here; wait for a better spot. It's just so hard to go against what I think of as sacred pot odds..

Thank you for the kind words! I will definitely reconsider the bankroll mgmt side of things. I'll look to move on to 5NL soon; however I would like to prove that I can definitely crush 2NL first. I'm curious, what sort of sample size would it take to get a true idea of whether or not I can crush low-stakes? Is this the sort of thing where I can ignore 2NL after a day of winning, or a month? Or somewhere in between?

How long will this super-motivation last? When does poker burnout happen to me?

Next post probably not until Wednesday, will have the beginnings of online results. Cheers!

I found out that the Wednesday deposit bonus was only during the summer, so I went ahead and dropped the 200 (199.91 after transfer fee) into my account and hopped on 2NL. Played 300 hands at 4 tables across 1.5 hours and ended going up 114BB. Number feels falsified because of a 200BB AA vs KK pot that I won.

There were a lot of plays I felt proud of (hero calls, river bluff spots) but I also just punted in a lot of spots to fold in. I also wasn't able to get any good HHs because frankly multi-tabling felt overwhelming to begin with. Going forward I'm gonna limit play to 1 or 2 tables so I can focus more on improving my fundamentals, studying spots, and not punting instead of worrying about efficiency/volume.

"Am I winning because I am good or lucky? Am I losing because I am bad or unlucky?"

Regardless of whether or not sweating soft 2NL is ridiculous, I want to build full confidence in crushing each stake before moving up to 5NL. Variance has been a big mind block in the past and I think the best way to circumvent that is to be so rolled and so profitable that variance isn't even a concern; such that I can lose to the runner runner and feel nothing (maybe amusement).

I know this will slow down my progress up the stakes drastically, but I also know that all the while I will be playing poker, studying and improving my game. Long story short my philosophy is to eliminate the threat that variance poses, and take the gambling out of poker.
(Please feel free to talk some sense into me regarding this point, I'm not actually sure how long going up in stakes would take under these constraints and now I'm second-guessing myself)

I've only just started the real grind of studying (and not just passively absorbing podcasts and youtube lectures) but I'd like to outline what I'm working on each week in this blog. This week I'm starting from the literal beginning; solidifying my HU thru 9-max preflop ranges, from opens to squeezes to 4-bet sizing.

Unfortunately I was unable to find a functioning poker tracker for my apple chip macbook, so it'll just be spreadsheets and word docs for tracking and HHs for now. If you know of any good software available to apple chip macOS, please let me know! I have a ~$100 budget and I only need NLH micros.

To close, thank you for reading! See you tomorrow (later today)?

Running 2NL BB/100: 38
Bankroll: $202.19

Super happy with today's session. Within 150 hands I was down roughly 2.5 buy-ins after a few setups but kept my cool and played what felt like some very good poker. I realize that playing 1 table is just so slow, so again we were on 4 tables and some of these HHs will be very much incomplete.

K8cc IP RFI HU to AoQcXc flop, action goes X R C. Turn K, X R R R F.
First time I've found a 3-bet on the turn, feels punt-ish but I felt like after he XR this turn he has JT, KQ, and then so so much junk. Pot-sized 3-bet got through.

AdJs OOP calls 3bet, HU to flop of KdQcX, action goes X X. Turn Jd, action goes X R C. Rivers 5d, action goes X R jam (around 1 SPR). Villain tanks their entire shot clock and folds.
OK to be honest after writing it down I can't justify why this play is correct; it just feels correct. Villain checking this flop then barreling turn river just felt like a weak king and so when BD flush comes in I make a move.

Feedback on these is much appreciated, I feel like this is a bit too creative for 2NL.

Sample size is still too small to assume anything at all, but confidence is growing 1500 hands in.
I've only played a few tournaments but it feels like I need to build more patience and find more time for these MTTs, might limit MTTs to the weekends for the time being.

Running 2NL BB/100: 14.3
Bankroll: $202.37

Genuinely cannot begin to describe how bad tonight's session felt to play. I lost 7 buy-ins within 1000 hands. I have some HHs to record bad play.

Hand 1
limper, V on button raises to 3.5 BB, ahnoah calls with Ts Ad from BB
*** FLOP *** [2h As Jh]
ahnoah checks, V bets 4 BB, ahnoah raises to 12 BB, V calls
*** TURN *** [2h As Jh] [3d]
ahnoah bets 16 BB, V raises to 45 BB, ahnoah calls??
*** RIVER *** [2h As Jh 3d] [8d]
ahnoah checks, V bets 51.5 BB, ahnoah calls?? V shows down Ac 3c

Ok what are we doing on the flop? And then calling twice on a board with practically zero bluffs? Even if I somehow only make mistakes in the 1% of pots that get this big, I will be a losing player.

Hand 2
CO raises to 2.5 BB, ahnoah calls on the button with Ah 9c? V calls from SB, BB comes along
*** FLOP *** [Tc 2d 3h]
X X X ahnoah bets 5 BB? V calls, heads up to turn
*** TURN *** [Tc 2d 3h] [5h]
X ahnoah bets 12.5 BB? V calls
*** RIVER *** [Tc 2d 3h 5h] [Ac]
V bets 62.5! BB, ahnoah calls?? V shows down 4c 5c

Again, questionable plays on every street. Ah 9c is actually a solver fold on the button, but even then barreling twice with ace high is generally unadvisable. Just another avoidable punt.

Hand 3
ahnoah opens to 2 BB in CO, V raises from SB to 9 BB, ahnoah calls?
*** FLOP *** [Kc 3s 6d]
V bets 9.5 BB, ahnoah calls
*** TURN *** [Kc 3s 6d] [Js]
V bets 28.5 BB, ahnoah calls?
*** RIVER *** [Kc 3s 6d Js] [Ac]
V jams (like 100 BB), ahnoah folds

Preflop fold again, but unsure about this one. The play feels relatively straightforward but I wonder, if the river is any other card will I still fold? What value am I beating?

Hand 4
One limper, ahnoah raises to 4 BB from SB with QQ, V calls from BB, HU to flop
*** FLOP *** [8h 4d Jc]
X, V bets 4.5 BB, ahnoah calls
*** TURN *** [8h 4d Jc] [8c]
X, V bets 18 BB, ahnoah calls
*** RIVER *** [8h 4d Jc 8c] [9s]
ahnoah jams for 84.5 BB??? V calls and shows AA

Not sure about the river jam, as played I can just check and expect V to bet. It also benefits me not at all to get to the flop without getting it in if I just lose it all on the river, nice runout!

Hand 5
V raises to 2.5 BB UTG, ahnoah raises to 8 BB from SB, V calls HU to flop
*** FLOP *** [Jc 4s 6s]
ahnoah bets 8.5 BB, V calls
*** TURN *** [Jc 4s 6s] [7c]
ahnoah bets 25.5 BB, V calls
*** RIVER *** [Jc 4s 6s 7c] [5c]
ahnoah checks, V jams 58 BB, ahnoah tank calls, V shows Ac Qc?

This hand really pissed me off for the lack of a better term and I probably should have just logged off after this point. I failed to understand how V turned up to the river with this at the moment but after further consideration as played I think calling twice is alright? These are the exact situations which make people talk about why backdoors let you call a little more... I think I was already tilted from Hand 6 at this point, I can fold river when every hand beats me (33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, A3, 78, 89, every suited broadway, all suited aces)

Hand 6
some random hand where I have AA to K Q 9 rainbow flop and get it in and V has what you think he has and I should probably just not jam with aces when the turn bricks and get snapped by the nuts ok good bye

There are uncountable situations that are not included here which just further tilted me, I just have to learn to not let the cards define my emotions..

Overall thoughts... I'm now a losing player for the first time in this journey! Mental is still a clear problem, and I probably should have just gotten off after the first 2 or 3 coolers, I feel like I punted an extra buy-in or twos worth in the last 30 minutes of the session. It's good that I experience this so early in, was considering moving up to 5NL sometime soon but this session will motivate me to stay in 2NL for quite a bit longer which is probably good. Biggest lesson from today is that I need to be more cognizant of tilt control, and mindful of loss chasing; it's ok to just log off the same way that it's ok to take a walk irl after a cooler.

I lost it all taking a shot and disabled my account. That was brief! I would still like to play in-person and will still keep this post open in the graveyard perhaps to return to it whenever something interesting happens or I turn 21, but otherwise I apologize if I got anyone's hopes up. It's probably for the best, I would like to maintain my grades and spend more time studying for the MCAT, and I won't be 21 until that happens.