Happy 50th Birthday to Chris Moneymaker

A song from my son David, to the tune of "Alexander Hamilton":

How does a gambler, husband, new dad who grew up in
Knoxville, comptroller living off of an office
job and paying mortgages from tournaments with penny-ante wagers
become a millionaire and hall of famer?

The long shot, logging on with 86 dollars
Got a lot farther than he ever thought, father bought into his stock
Started aiming for the spot offered
to top three, a seat out in Vegas hanging with ballers

And early game, with tens and knaves often discarded away,
through smaller gains, he patiently made his progress
Inside he had harbored the confidence of a novice
And Money was ready to sleep walk to recoup his losses

Then table-mates changed, and the superstars reigned,
our man saw his chips drip, dripping down the drain
Getting thinner before dinner, a pair of players remained,
and then Johnny Chan was slain, a legend he overcame

Well, the word got around, they said, “This kid is insane, man!”
Took a gamble on himself and then he took away Chan
“Build your reputation up, and loosen up your game
Then the world’s gonna know your name, what’s your name, man?”

Moneymaker, Christopher
My name is Moneymaker, Christopher
And no one’s had a run like this before
but just you wait, just you wait

He battled Brenes and he bit, should’ve quit, stayed in it,
No fear, eights in his pocket versus aces, ain’t winning
All in, need to make the scale tip for Shark’s chips
The water got bloody when the eight of clubs flipped

Grew into his bluffing, his bluffing muscled a few aside
Dueling with Dutch and he scrutinized, a nine, two, and five
His voice said: “Dealer, low cards would probably help”
And then he defeated king-queen with a completed straight as well

With the tournament down to ten he drew with Ivey next to lose
Grey faded and Benvenisti too, he toppled Lester, kept it moving
So determined, burning through the greats and the champions,
taking action, shining like a diamond doing Dan in

Scamming out Sammy, selling air to get the man low
Manifesting fortune, see ‘em now as he stands (ooh)
throwing down all his chips, betting for a new hand
In two cards, you can be a new man

In two cards, you can be a new man (Just you wait)
Two cards, you can be a new man (Just you wait)
With two cards, you can be a new man
Two cards, two cards
Just you wait!

Moneymaker, Christopher!
We are wagering it all for you!
If you play your cards right, you’ve got a shot to take the prize, oh
Moneymaker, Christopher!
When America watches you
Will they know what you overcame, will they know how you broke the game?
The world will see you earn your name

The chips are stacking higher now, see if you can spot him. (Just you wait)
A total amateur, coming up from the bottom! (It must be fate)
His prowess is impeccable, his karma never caught him!

We bought for him.
We sponsored him.
Me? I trusted him.
Me? I loved him.

And me? I’m the damn fool that fought him!

No one’s had a run like this before, but just you wait!
What’s your name, man?
Moneymaker, Christopher!