Do I have to show my hand?

It depends on the room. Poker has changed in the last 100 years. Up until WWII, the rules stated that you have to show your hand at showdown, whether you wanted to or not. Post war, the rules changed to you didn't have to show unless a player asked to see it. In more recent times, many rooms do not require you to show unless cheating is being alleged.

However, it has nothing to do with ethics. Either you broke a rule by not showing or you didn't. FWIW, I always show. I've seen plenty of times when the person asking to see the hand finds out the person mucking actually had the better hand, and the person who mucked is awarded the pot.

As Venice mentions, this isn't really an ethical situation.

But we do need more context to understand the situation and provide accurate responses.

What was the exact sequence of events?

Did he say he wanted to see the hand before or after the cards were in the muck?

Who physically put the cards in the muck...you or the dealer?

Do you have any history with this player?

If you grabbed the muck and shoved your hand in you should not have done that. Whether you are forced to have your hand shown is at the room’s discretion, but most of the time if they do force you to show because of a IWTSTH request, your hand is live.

Just be aware that most players that make this request are horrible players and it will help you get over it.

I have played a hundred hours plus with this player.
Never a hint of conflict, although he is not at all friendly.

I bet out on the river.
The other player went all in.
I called.
He flipped over his hand and said “I want to see his hand” (meaning my hand)

I simultaneously flicked my cards face down into the muck underneath the dealers hands.
I purposely mucked because of the mean and aggressive manor of his tone.
He was just being a dick.
Had he lightheartedly asked me what I called him with I would told and/or showed him.
IMO he acted like an ******* so I treated him like an *******.

But was I unethical here?
His request to see the losing cards seemed petty and self-serving.
Several hours later, same table, same situation happened with two other players where I wasn’t involved in the hand at all except as an observer.

I told the winner of that pot in no uncertain terms that he was being an ******* for asking to see the losing cards. I still believe this.

But it is not my intention to be unethical on any level.

Please advise, and thanks.

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Now more of the story comes out.

It appears that your room has a "I want to see the hand" rule. Therefore, the person being a dick and an ******* was you, not him. You broke a rule. This isn't an ethical situation. The fact that you didn't like the way he asked it isn't an excuse. The rules apply to everyone, not just the people you like.

If it's in the muck then it's outta there. You've lost the hand so you don't have to show.

Really difficult to believe that the dealer couldn't have fished out your hand, especially if the room does have a "I want to see it" rule. Regardless, if there is a rule, you should have shown, but I don't blame you too much for mucking (as stated, dealer most likely could have shown); if not, no biggie, and you did nothing wrong.

Sorry but if you call then the last aggressor shows and he has the better hand, why do you need to show? Even in tournaments you can muck can't you?

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This will be room dependent, but I believe the majority of rooms allow for any player with a tabled hand at showdown to request to see the hand of any other player who reached showdown. We can debate etiquette until we're blue in the face, but by rule, most rooms would require OP to show, even though he lost.

This is for cash, if they are using TDA it’s at the TD’s discretion if they are not asking to see the last aggressor’s hand.

Still, even if that is the rule, once a request is made you shouldn’t be trying to flout the floor person’s authority by preventing him from making a decision on whether he wants to respect the request or not.

I agree with the above that as a player I would not care at all and don’t consider it unethical. But a floor person might be mad at you for skirting the rules and causing an unnecessary situation.

This is room dependent. If this happened to me in a room I was new to (or didn't know what the rule in the room was) I would ask for the Floor. If IWTSTH is still a rule in the room then I would always show my hand.

Typically in rooms where that is still the rule they don't like it when a player does it more than once in a session so they may not allow it after the first time.

There are rooms that have stopped IWTSTH in cash games. Foxwoods is one of them.

In all tournaments in all rooms this is now not allowed because of changes to TDA rules (a few years ago). The rule is now if the player who has to show first mucks their hand the other player doesn't have to show. Just be careful that the mucked hand ends up in the muck pile otherwise it is still live and if you muck your hand the other hand can be tabled and will be the winning hand.

Not if it's hit the muck already though. Can't exactly fish it out the muck

Obviously, but per OP, the request was made while OP still had his cards. OP power mucking them under the dealers hand doesn't change what the rules are or what is supposed to happen in the same sense that a highway's speed limit is still 65 even though some people drive 80+.

There's no magic muck.

Since it appears the house has a "I want to see rule" you are both unethical and an ass for thinking what you feel is correct matters more than the actual house rules.

I think you are allowed to muck a hand at any time provided the action is on you - and not show it. It's like resigning a chess game (your allowed to make yourself lose)

This is both incorrect and inapplicable to this situation.

Action is not on the OP when he mucks his hand, the hand is at showdown.

On showdown, yes, why wouldn't you? People might think you are colluding.

Once you give up your hand, you lose your rights to win the hand, but that doesn’t mean you have a right to have your hand mixed into the muck and made unretrievable.

For instance, what if you show your cards to your neighbor, and then throw your hand away? Well, the casino can enforce Show One Show All. There’s nothing that says YOU get to muck your cards. That’s what the dealer does.

Incorrect. While there is still potential for action behind you but you are not facing action (iow, you can check), you are not supposed to discard. You technically can’t fold because folding is defined as discarding while facing action. And technically the player discards or releases and the dealer mucks.

But the point is if you have the option to check, it is wrong to “resign” because this can influence action behind you.

Seldom enforced in cash games. It is enforced in tournaments. Not as egregious as folding OOT but still enforced.

Also if anyone is all in and you remained in the hand, once there is no more action possible, your hand will be shown in tournaments.

There are definitely times in poker where your hand must be shown and times you can’t make yourself lose.

The short answer is no, you weren't "unethical" and I wouldn't sweat it for a second. If there does exist some rule for your specific room or format that means your hand should be shown down, then that's a question for the dealer/floor, and you should oblige whatever they say and apologize if you were in the wrong. I urge you to not GAF what your opponent says, people are absolute knuckleheads at showdown (even as they're shipping the pot, smdh).

Tournaments could very well have strict rules about showdown since soft play/chip dumping/etc are all valid concerns that influence fair play for everyone in the field.

As for cash games, there is apparently a rule that I literally only know about because it's mentioned in one of the Sklansky books that if a hand makes it to showdown than anyone at the table can request it to be tabled. Even in this case, Sklansky says it's in poor taste for someone involved in the hand to make this request as it should be about catching suspicious behavior not just out of curiosity or (especially) to gain an information advantage.

I once upon a time in a dying cardroom several decades ago saw a miserable reg asking to see the losing players' hands at showdown, and the dealer did indeed oblige each time. He also, later in the night, folded the river and then straight up reached into the muck and turned his opponent's cards up to confirm they had the hand they were repping, so that should tell you all you need to know about how much this type of guy is concerned with rules or fairness or ethics.

In the many moons since then, I have never so much as heard of the rule enforced or referenced in a cash game.

If you are involved in a showdown then the action IS ON YOU and anyone else also involved in the showdown. If in doubt, table your hand next to your stack and away from the muck.

I didn't mean if you can still check sorry.