Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis
I woke up in the middle of choking to death again; though to be accurate, it was towards the end of the process--woke up right away in a white hot panic with black spots of permanent unconsciousness swooping in across both sides of my vision.
Calm yourself, was the first important step. My lungs were soaked, steeped in the things that belonged only in my stomach, and locked up tight. My air passage was blocked and burning with bile and hydrochloric acid. No, I don't have asthma. I have a drinking problem.
Spoiler
Though, now that I think about it, is that inhaler thing any good? Maybe I'll try a hit sometime, just to see.
This was last Friday, just a few hours after I'd quit my office job of twelve years to take a shot at playing poker for a living out West in Nevada. This will not be my first shot at gambling for a living; although I have only tried something like this once before, many years ago.
Around the turn of the century I quit college most of the way through my senior year and I moved out to Las Vegas for 8 years. My experiences were somewhat of interest: rampant drunkenness, a stolen lab animal, solid card counting, North Korean meth, time spent with Mormons, advantage slot grinding, a cowardly pass on an FBI Most Wanted bounty, facing contempt of court charges, and dressing up as Albus Dumbledore. You can find that in my BBV thread.
[U][url]https://forumserver.twoplustwo.c...[/U][/URL] .
That thread held up pretty well in BBV, which is not nothing.
Starting meditative relaxation can be problematic when you're dying from choking on your own puke. I sat up straight, blind from the black splotches that had slapped away the weak light of the kitchen stove. I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my chest and upper arms, and then, projecting calm with all my might, I tried my throat. I pictured my lungs and throat opening up just a tiny passage, for just a little air to go by--something to get me started. And they did, untethering just the smallest little rivulet of air, and it made the most terrifying sound as it went through. It always does.
Whatever you've heard from actors pretending to gasp after being choked, the reality is worse. At least no one was with me this time. When that's been the case, the other person has invariably freaked the **** out when they've heard my gasping and choking routine, which only adds the burden of myself having to reassure them through nodding and non-frantic gestures, so that they won't call 911, as I hate the idea of calling the cops.
April 13th of this year was 14 months without me having a drink. During that long stretch I had honestly forgotten why I'd quit. That's right, I had completely purged from my recall the years of nighttime memories of myself almost choking to death, this happening once or twice every couple of weeks on average. Now, the terrifying night wakeups didn't happen even once during the 14 dry months. But 3 weeks back into drinking--oh yeah--there was that thing, wasn't there?.
Now, there was something else I'd forgotten about. And that's the Double Tap. The Double Tap happens when I don't force my drunk and tired and traumatized self to remain awake for a good two or three hours after a choking incident. If I fall back asleep before then, I wake up choking to death all over again. And sure enough, that happened last Friday, and I had to save myself again.
So on Saturday I jumped back on the waggy, and Cinco de Mayo is now my new anniversary date, and that's really enough about drinking. I'm not here to write about that business. I should have been done with it; and now I am.
My flight leaves for Reno in a few hours, and I'll be out there for the next 3 weeks scouting out the live poker games in the city. If I like it, that's where I'm moving to.
From a short conversation with myself yesterday.
"Stop picking your nose."
"You stop picking my nose."
glad you loved mote in god's eye
you make me want to revisit again - one of my favorites of all time
and extreme kudos to be able to discuss it in such detail without granting spoilers - something i've never been able to do other than recommend it to people with the caveat of "if i say anything i'll spoil it"
glad you loved mote in god's eye
you make me want to revisit again - one of my favorites of all time
and extreme kudos to be able to discuss it in such detail without granting spoilers - something i've never been able to do other than recommend it to people with the caveat of "if i say anything i'll s
Thanks rickroll! I've since finished the 4th book in the Expanse sci-fi opera series, and that's still a great read after like 2200 pages. Those two guys who share the pen name James S.A. Corey know how to keep up a good yarn.
Now I'm reading Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go. I've haven't read the book before, nor have I seen the movie, but somehow I've been spoiled on the story's big secret. I think I must have spoiled it by reading a review back when the film came out. I used to read the movie magazine Empire pretty faithfully, back when paper magazines still had enough money to hire great writers.
Even though it's been spoiled, I'm still enjoying reading my way to the big reveal. Ishiguro's an excellent writer.
After taking some shots at online tournament poker and leaving with only a few mincashes, I will take one more shot at the online tourney glory today, then I'm heading back to the casino tomorrow to try to rebuild my finances. Wish me luck.
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Why are Tuesdays mostly a nothing day? I can’t remember ever getting laid on a Tuesday; and if it did happen it probably wasn’t worth it.
Thanks guys!
Why are Tuesdays mostly a nothing day? I can’t remember ever getting laid on a Tuesday; and if it did happen it probably wasn’t worth it.
It's probably the day when the most work gets done. Not as many people hungover from the weekend, and not as many running out the clock until the next weekend. On the other hand, the Rolling Stones, the Moody Blues and Lynyrd Skynyrd have all written decent songs about the day.
It took me until yesterday to finally make it back to the casino. The thought that got me going was that if I'm to be the protagonist of this thread, then I'd better start acting like a protagonist; to wit, do things.
Most people are the protagonists of their own lives, but me, I've always taken a more laissez-faire approach to being the main character. I'll do it if I feel like it.
But once again, why have a thread if I'm not going to generate any content?
So I went back to the tables on Monday, and I lost, again. I've never come anywhere close to having this bad of a streak: blackjack, slots or poker, live or online, cash or tournaments, nothing else has approached this particular live cash downswing. I'd forgotten that the protagonist needs to suffer in order to grow or advance the story or what have you. So here I am, suffering.
Tomorrow, I'll be back at it. I'm going to either pull up or go down swinging.
Today I watched Dr. Sleep, the sequel to The Shining, and I was surprised by how good it was. The book was fine; the movie may have been better.
I think that the movie did a fine job of incorporating the main character's alcohol recovery process into what is essentially a supernatural action/horror pic. Without a deft touch, the booze plotline could have instead given off the sort of Very Special Episode notes that would have attenuated the chills and thrills. But it avoided that. So, well done. I recommend the movie.
Most people are the protagonists of their own lives, but me, I've always taken a more laissez-faire approach to being the main character. I'll do it if I feel like it.
But once again, why have a thread if I'm not going to generate any content?
I've always taken life pass/fail. I think it generates better content that way.
Are you studying? Like actually studying winning concepts and exploits and reviewing practice hands of spots? Iām not saying you have to buy a sub to J. Little or Dougie Polk, but are we just showing up and hoping our skill and experience is best?
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Are you studying? Like actually studying winning concepts and exploits and reviewing practice hands of spots? Iām not saying you have to buy a sub to J. Little or Dougie Polk, but are we just showing up and hoping our skill and experience is best?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
The thing about variance - and I do not want to come upon as being snotty, but here it is -, is that it can always get worse... And it does š. That being said, if Lady Luck is completely left to the Poker Gods, what we can control, us mere mortals, is doubling down on the studying!!!
Spoiler
And there I did it again, being snotty š
GL Suited, you got this 
Are you studying? Like actually studying winning concepts and exploits and reviewing practice hands of spots? Iām not saying you have to buy a sub to J. Little or Dougie Polk, but are we just showing up and hoping our skill and experience is best?
Hey N8t! Good to hear from you, sir.
The thing about variance - and I do not want to come upon as being snotty, but here it is -, is that it can always get worse... And it does š. That being said, if Lady Luck is completely left to the Poker Gods, what we can control, us mere mortals, is doubling down on the studying!!!
I had been assiduously watching at least one instructional video per day. Bart Hanson's live cash call-ins were the majority. After that, then Johnathon Little, Carrot, and Splitsuit (who hasn't put out much lately), after that the live cash vloggers like Jaman Burton, Doug Polk and Andrew Neeme.
But I have fallen off that schedule in the last couple of months, so it's back to it, and thank you for the reminder!
Sj, Just follow on YouTube this channel. Called' live Poker guide'. I'll probably get roasted for making this recommendation, but in my opinion, what everyone needs is a straightforward and common sense strategy for low stakes live Poker.
A lot of what this guy preaches is nothing new for someone with any experience, but we sometimes have to be reminded to just keep it simple and stick with the basics.
Gl
next book should be fire upon the deep
Sj, Just follow on YouTube this channel. Called' live Poker guide'. I'll probably get roasted for making this recommendation, but in my opinion, what everyone needs is a straightforward and common sense strategy for low stakes live Poker.
A lot of what this guy preaches is nothing new for someone w
Thanks Nepeeme2008! I checked him out and he looks like just the thing for me. Subbed.
Due to budgetary constraints, it's going to be a while until the next book haul. I appreciate the Internet/Kindle options, but I'll always use the dead trees as my book mediumāsomething about the feel and the heft of a paper book allows me to lose my self into it in a way that I can't with a screen.
I lost another $200+ at poker, and the machines have been sparse with plays, and breakeven when they have been available.
To console myself with something light and joy-filled, I watched Singin' in the Rain, from 1952, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
The conceit of the movie is that the year is 1927, and talking pictures have just swept over Hollywood, and leading man Kelly's beautiful but formerly silent co-star, played by Jean Hagen, has a voice like a balloon being deflated while some joker pinches the stem, so they must find a voice to dub over her squawks without insulting her expansive but fragile ego.
It was neat seeing an early 1950s film's nostalgia for the late 1920s. It would be like making a film nowadays that waxes nostalgic for a young Britney Spears, frosted tips, wide-leg jeans, and the Y2K bug.
I'd never seen anything with Gene Kelly before, and I found his charisma and dancing chops to be nothing short of amazing. I would say that he moves like a cat, but many cats are clumsier. I've seen the videos to prove it.
Here he is, in something fun and colorful and innocent, until Cyd Charisse comes in, she who cameos here as the embodiment of sex and how good sex can be for people. And with that, Gene Kelly's semi-cornball "Aw shucks, now you've gone and gotten me all horny" accompaniment got me smirking.
There's a lot of cheesecake for something from 1952. I wonder if they pushed the "Hey, we're portraying the Roaring Twenties here, they were wild and free back then" aspect with the production gatekeepers.
This burlesque aspect, however, is balanced out by the wholesome energy of the female lead, Debbie Reynolds. Reynolds's character, as the starlet's voice dubber and Kelly's love interest, is not a sexpot. Compared to the standard 50s bombshell, she's a bit blocky and has a low center of gravity.
Of course, by normal and sane standards, she's adorable, and her star quality shines through. I couldn't take my eyes off her; but it wasn't the Male Gaze per se, it was an appreciation for watching one of the best at work.
While wearing 2 1/2" (6 cm) heels, Reynolds easily keeps up with Kelly and his other highly talented co-star, Donald O'Connor, whose wisecracking wingman reminded me a bit of Ralph Malph from Happy Days, a show from the late 1970s that was nostalgic for the mid 1950s.
Singin' in the Rain was the perfect bowl of ice cream to sooth my battered psyche. As far as old-timey feel-good movies go, I liked it more than It's a Wonderful Life, which I'd also recently watched and enjoyed for the first time.
Due to budgetary constraints, it's going to be a while until the next book haul. I appreciate the Internet/Kindle options, but I'll always use the dead trees as my book mediumāsomething about the feel and the heft of a paper book allows me to lose my self into it in a way that I can't with a screen.
no used book store options in your neck of the woods?
Or try thrift stores? If convenient, their selection is (definitionally) pretty random, but I often find interesting stuff for a couple bucks.
Or try thrift stores? If convenient, their selection is (definitionally) pretty random, but I often find interesting stuff for a couple bucks.
There are stores a good half hour or more away, but there is also the town library. A few years ago, I donated 6 big boxes of my own stuff there. It might be nice to visit with some of that again, assuming that I'm not in some sort of Black Book type national database after checking two Mark Twain books out of the Las Vegas library for more than 20 years.
I did return them, eventually, at the exterior drop box, at 3 AM, while wearing a hoodie and a Covid mask.
when local library district funding decreases
the emphasis on suppressing education should become even more apprent
