1/3 Grinding and Bankroll
Hi all,
First post in this specific forum. Normally post in NL Strategy. Hoping for some feedback about bankroll management.
I started playing 4-5 times a week at MGM National Harbor in March after a few months off. Previously I had been playing at MD Live and lost most of what I had won (around $1,200). Anyway, I took $200 to the casino and tried my luck. No bankroll to start really.
I had a great March (+$3,000) but a terrible April (-$3,000) after trying 2/5 and losing $1k and a horrific 24-hour session where I dumped $1,800 in just cooler after cooler (set over set, AK into AA, nut flush v. boat, etc.). This month I'm up around $1,000 so far. Any tips about bankroll management that can keep me from losing it all again? Do you set some of your winnings aside for example?
I have a somewhat steady income outside of poker but my goal is to make poker a supplement to that income and not just a break-even hobby.
Appreciate the feedback.
Thanks,
DT
I have been pretty depressed for a while now because of the job wait and poker and chronic illness. So I am watching cute animal videos again and thinking of ways to liven my slump.
I am grateful for my family and friends.
Although IÂ’m not printing like last year, I am making something respectable and was able to make a deposit this week.
I am reading more books. I am enjoying this new habit a lot. ItÂ’s a way for me to
Introduce more balance into my life that has become too consumed with poker. I think it would be nice to publish a book one day of my own about my life.
IÂ’m grateful for good food. My parents are really good cooks.
Speaking of which I am going to grab some now. See? IÂ’m already in a better mood. That was easy.
thanks for the update. speaking of books--Kay Jamison's An Unquiet Mind is a great memoir about her experience with bipolar disorder. You might like it since you liked the Elyn Sachs.
Spoiler
My fave cute animal video:
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GfeelbetterDumbo!G
Had a good day, played with dog interviewed student from my Alma mater for internship. Felt really refreshing to interact with someone outside of poker.
The poker world is full of selfish miserable a$$holes with no lives who spend all of their waking hours at the casino. It does not deserve Dumbo.
Played 30/60 mix much of the night into the wee hours of the morning, tonight woke up very late. Seemed to hold my own except got wrecked in the Omaha rounds (go figure). Was dealt a pat 86432 in 2-7TD and someone tried to get me to break but I held on and won against his worse 8 I figured. At Omaha lost dsQQ three ways in 4c and AQQ82hh on JT7hh as well in Big o and dsKK as well in the accidental round of 5c. Ran well at plo5 so I about broke even on the day or made a little.
At least I feel in a good mood today.
I did well enough last night, J43r cracked AA with Ad on KQ397ddd runout at 5/T among others. Gonna continue to read Supreme Ambitions now. A legal novel about ambitious law clerks and power hungry federal appellate judges.
Couldn’t really get anything going yesterday in my session as much as I tried. AKJ54ds AKQ53ds a couple AAs lost too. AKJT9ds did nothing for me either. Was also pretty card dead. Then game was very good for a few hours but I didn’t get any good spots except I lost a 4! pot with dsAA and then I got 9-high ds in three ways and lost to nit’s AA and game was worse so I decided to quit stuck about a buy in. So sad. How long am I going to be in poker purgatory? And life purgatory with this job wait taking forever. Not fun at all. Might get to play the 20/40 mix today at least.
Was doing ok until near the end of my session lost a 4! pot with KK663 versus a bunch of A-high hands and 99. I said nice hand to the winner and asked what he had, then this reg interjected and said yeah he flopped very well and I asked if he could just let us have our conversation. (We don’t like each other and he has threatened me multiple times physically.) He then says he’ll f me up and he hopes he sees me outside someday so he can hurt me, this time I put my foot down and called the floor on him and he self-86’d before security could escort him out. What fun! Isn’t live poker great? Stuck a lot now and threatened and game is not good anymore either. Sigh.
I had a dream we were in a coastal town and a body washed up in the shore and we are all wondering if it was murder or something else. Eventually it turns out the killers were in the town and I discover them and they try to kill me but I fend them off with a knife. There was a cat somewhere in the last scene too but I don’t recall how it fit in exactly.
I woke up to see a voicemail from an unfamiliar number. The message was from HR director of recruitment at the job I applied for in mental health law. She said “I wanted to discuss with you a job opportunity with our office.” I was asleep when she called (thanks poker hours) but I called back and left a message. Omg! Yay!
Was doing ok until near the end of my session lost a 4! pot with KK663 versus a bunch of A-high hands and 99. I said nice hand to the winner and asked what he had, then this reg interjected and said yeah he flopped very well and I asked if he could just let us have our conversation. (We don’t like each other and he has threatened me multiple times physically.) He then says he’ll f me up and he hopes he sees me outside someday so he can hurt me, this time I put my foot down and called the floor o
I read your posts time to time and often you describe situations where players are rude to you or threaten, why they hate on you?
I read your posts time to time and often you describe situations where players are rude to you or threaten, why they hate on you?
Because I don’t have patience for some of the low lifes that frequent live poker and they don’t like hearing the truth from me when I call them out. I’m not afraid to speak my mind and that makes them uncomfortable so they lash out in very juvenile ways.
Because I don’t have patience for some of the low lifes that frequent live poker and they don’t like hearing the truth from me when I call them out. I’m not afraid to speak my mind and that makes them uncomfortable so they lash out in very juvenile ways.
For example what you tell them? Like if someone smells bad you tell to take a shower or it’s more like game related? Like if someone makes bad plays you tell them how bad they’re?
Once I told someone to stop staring at me every time I lost a pot, it brings back memories of my psychosis. I called out a colluding couple repeatedly. I called out a prick who physically threatened me when he claimed to give a lot of action when in fact he is one of the biggest winners in the player pool and bragged about winning $600,000 in one year. One dude would not make room for me when I sat down. Sometimes someone will say something not nice to me and I usually respond in kind instead of ignoring it. I’m not physically threatening so people probably think they can come after me. If only they knew what I’d been through in life maybe they would think twice.
Once I told someone to stop staring at me every time I lost a pot, it brings back memories of my psychosis. I called out a colluding couple repeatedly. I called out a prick who physically threatened me when he claimed to give a lot of action when in fact he is one of the biggest winners in the player pool and bragged about winning $600,000 in one year. One dude would not make room for me when I sat down. Sometimes someone will say something not nice to me and I usually respond in kind instead of
I certainly sympathize about the problems with the colluders, the person who issued threats, the rude. On the first one did you tell someone they could not stare/look at you or did you ask them not to do so. Either has problems as you are revealing a big weakness to the players at the table and are playing large enough stakes that just as you target weaknesses in your opponents others will target yours even when not directly poker related. I will look at players closely to try to pick up physical tells and if told I couldn't would not feel where I looked was your choice. Now if you approached me privately and explained the issue I would try to find a resolution where I did not trigger your issues but still was able to look. If we couldn't come to a mutual resolution would suggest that if I was seated first and you came to my table I can look as I please but if you were seated first I would accept the limitation of not looking closely when you lost a hand.
Last night was an extremely annoying session, started off running good at 1/2 5c then took a shot at 10/10/50/(100) and won AKQJ8ss on A63ss, lost another AKQJ8 flopping top pair fd at a low spr to the all in player pre with a dominated hand and he went runner runner straight. The lost an AAQ98ss to AT653ds all in pre to this guy who always has my number, and finally lost KK875ds all in pre to a short stack with AA she opened right after getting stacked and could have been steaming, I even flopped top set but he turned me almost dead with a set of aces.
Was not feeling it anymore so I left for 5/T where I ran better and was winning quite well until I lost AA to 87o bb v. straddle on J56r54 runout, I suppose I could have lost more if the hand played differently. Ran it back up until the action player quit for plo and we all blatantly followed him there as the 5/T/25 game was going to break without him. I promptly lost two top sets of aces and KJT88ds in a multiway shove fest and AJT97ss scooped it all. Finally I got it in with a set of 7s on K76hh and lost to q-high fd and open ender and called it a long night. I was only playing through the night to be awake for my call with HR to discuss my job offer - and that didn't even happen! When I called her first thing in the morning at 9:30 she was still driving to work and said she'd call me back from the office in an hour, which she never did. I called her at the end of the day after getting a few hours of sleep and she didn't pick up so I went back to bed. I woke up tonight to see she called me at 5:15 pm and by then I had given up any hope she was going to call me that day and turned off my phone to get some sleep. Ayee!
At least I know I got the job since when we briefly spoke in the morning she said she needed to get to her office to obtain the offer paperwork, which is really good news!
Throughout the night I kept joking the players would never see me again as soon as I accepted this job offer and the fish were making me retire from poker since they were kicking my a$$ so hard. At least I got to see some reruns of charmed with Nik Lashey.
While I read Elyn Saks I couldn’t help but reflect on my own journey with mental illness. I feel as humans we have a need to be empowered when we feel powerless. Saks sought control over her illness through her work and I will soon do the same. In a way we are proving we are not weak as many unfortunately assume when they learn we are sick. We are trying to conquer our illness through our professional and personal achievements. For me poker success has been one such driving force but it can only take me so far and it does nothing to advance my professional or legal accomplishments. poker also won’t leave much of a legacy when I’m gone (although my writings and coaching may, to some extent).
With the law I can improve peoples’ lives and also feel empowered, successful, and a contributing member of society - all while managing a serious mental illness. When I play as much as I do sometimes I feel like poker is just a side effect of the illness or a coping mechanism, a defect, a sign of weakness. Rather than being in control, the illness is controlling me. If I can succeed in this new job perhaps I can prove to myself and others that I am just as strong and capable as someone without my disorder. By helping people struggling I can also serve as a good example and inspire others. What could be more empowering than helping people who share your mental illness?
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With the law I can improve peoples’ lives and also feel empowered, successful, and a contributing member of society - all while managing a serious mental illness. When I play as much as I do sometimes I feel like poker is just a side effect of the illness or a coping mechanism, a defect, a sign of weakness. Rather than being in control, the illness is controlling me. If I can succeed in this new job perhaps I can prove to myself and others that I am just as strong and capable as someone
I look forward to hearing about your new job and how you navigate any negative perceptions of mental illness (as well as successfully advocating for those struggling with mental health). It will be interesting to hear your perspective on poker, too, after a decent period in your new job, and whether you still believe "poker is just a side effect of the illness or a coping mechanism". This is a strong statement, and I'm not saying it isn't a valid assumption/diagnosis, but I'm concerned that maybe you're stigmatising poker a little, which isn't hard to do considering how deeply integrated it is with the casino and gambling industry. It's fair to say you've experienced a significant degree of hostility in the poker world and managed it well in respect of your results, as well as positive contributions to poker discourse. But I believe that poker still has much to offer, irrespective of its negative association with gambling culture: net positives around its social dynamic (not matter how annoying it can be at times) as well as strategy, which, as you've demonstrated, is dynamic, intellectually rewarding and applicable to other areas of life.
congrats on landing the job Dumbo!
+1 Great news!
I look forward to hearing about your new job and how you navigate any negative perceptions of mental illness (as well as successfully advocating for those struggling with mental health). It will be interesting to hear your perspective on poker, too, after a decent period in your new job, and whether you still believe "poker is just a side effect of the illness or a coping mechanism". This is a strong statement, and I'm not saying it isn't a valid assumption/diagnosis, but I'm concerned that mayb
Poker has a lot to offer people willing to put in the work. It has its drawbacks too. But don’t most things that take up our precious time? I don’t have many regrets from this period of my life. Maybe I wish I had more sex and didn’t punt as much or get into as many petty arguments.
Thank you! I’m thrilled. Now to get onto a day schedule.
Indeed. I reached out to my friends and family and old psych team and they are all thrilled. The head of my old psych program wants me to talk to her med students and residents and had some good advice since she’s attended a few civil commitment hearings.
Ran well yesterday which was nice for a change. Celebrated my Dad’s birthday too. He was super proud.
