Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis
I woke up in the middle of choking to death again; though to be accurate, it was towards the end of the process--woke up right away in a white hot panic with black spots of permanent unconsciousness swooping in across both sides of my vision.
Calm yourself, was the first important step. My lungs were soaked, steeped in the things that belonged only in my stomach, and locked up tight. My air passage was blocked and burning with bile and hydrochloric acid. No, I don't have asthma. I have a drinking problem.
Spoiler
Though, now that I think about it, is that inhaler thing any good? Maybe I'll try a hit sometime, just to see.
This was last Friday, just a few hours after I'd quit my office job of twelve years to take a shot at playing poker for a living out West in Nevada. This will not be my first shot at gambling for a living; although I have only tried something like this once before, many years ago.
Around the turn of the century I quit college most of the way through my senior year and I moved out to Las Vegas for 8 years. My experiences were somewhat of interest: rampant drunkenness, a stolen lab animal, solid card counting, North Korean meth, time spent with Mormons, advantage slot grinding, a cowardly pass on an FBI Most Wanted bounty, facing contempt of court charges, and dressing up as Albus Dumbledore. You can find that in my BBV thread.
[U][url]https://forumserver.twoplustwo.c...[/U][/URL] .
That thread held up pretty well in BBV, which is not nothing.
Starting meditative relaxation can be problematic when you're dying from choking on your own puke. I sat up straight, blind from the black splotches that had slapped away the weak light of the kitchen stove. I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my chest and upper arms, and then, projecting calm with all my might, I tried my throat. I pictured my lungs and throat opening up just a tiny passage, for just a little air to go by--something to get me started. And they did, untethering just the smallest little rivulet of air, and it made the most terrifying sound as it went through. It always does.
Whatever you've heard from actors pretending to gasp after being choked, the reality is worse. At least no one was with me this time. When that's been the case, the other person has invariably freaked the **** out when they've heard my gasping and choking routine, which only adds the burden of myself having to reassure them through nodding and non-frantic gestures, so that they won't call 911, as I hate the idea of calling the cops.
April 13th of this year was 14 months without me having a drink. During that long stretch I had honestly forgotten why I'd quit. That's right, I had completely purged from my recall the years of nighttime memories of myself almost choking to death, this happening once or twice every couple of weeks on average. Now, the terrifying night wakeups didn't happen even once during the 14 dry months. But 3 weeks back into drinking--oh yeah--there was that thing, wasn't there?.
Now, there was something else I'd forgotten about. And that's the Double Tap. The Double Tap happens when I don't force my drunk and tired and traumatized self to remain awake for a good two or three hours after a choking incident. If I fall back asleep before then, I wake up choking to death all over again. And sure enough, that happened last Friday, and I had to save myself again.
So on Saturday I jumped back on the waggy, and Cinco de Mayo is now my new anniversary date, and that's really enough about drinking. I'm not here to write about that business. I should have been done with it; and now I am.
My flight leaves for Reno in a few hours, and I'll be out there for the next 3 weeks scouting out the live poker games in the city. If I like it, that's where I'm moving to.
Good job SJ. 👏
And nice to see your poker total back in black!
Thanks, guys!
My nose is running today like a washerless faucet. I was in perfect health during the months that I was goofing off. Now that I want to grind, I've almost immediately gotten sick. If it's psychosomatic, then I've thought my way through an impressive amount of snotty Kleenex.
And I don't like antihistamines. They don't work well for me, and they seem to extend the period of the cold. I'm off sick today, and hopefully back tomorrow.
My sinuses cleared up around 1 AM this morning, so I headed to Springfield for a wee hour slot run. To my surprise, I was the only slot grinder on the floor, and I found more than a few good plays. Unfortunately, all that good EV money didn't translate into real dollars.
I've just woken up now at 4 PM, and my nose is stuffed up again, and I feel lousy, so I'm not going in tonight. I'll be back tomorrow to begin my second attempt at a full week's work. I won't give up on this.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 0 hours
MGM Springfield Slots: 4 hours
+$14.00
2024 Running Poker Total: 88 hours, +$132.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 62 hours, +$3418.73
2024 Grand Total: 150 hours, +$3550.73
I found one of my Jeep's tires to be nearly flat last night. Fortunately, there's a gas station nearby that offers free air, and I was able to limp in and fill it. After that, I did not make the drive to Springfield out of caution.
This morning, the tire was low again. I took it to a garage and they found a screw embedded in it and patched it up for $25. Not a bad deal. While I was waiting for the tire, my nose started running again and I was hit with a coughing fit. All the while, I was sitting across from a big sign that read "If you're sick, please do not come in here for service."
I was afraid that they might give me the boot for being sick before they fixed my tire, but the sign appeared to be a leftover from the height of the Covid days, and now all but forgotten by the staff.
Tomorrow—if the universe doesn't continue to conspire against it—I will go back to the grind.
With my tire fixed and my cold waning, I had no excuse but to grind today. For my 8 hour workday, I chose a long early AM slot run followed by a short poker session.
The slot run was once again futile. An unlucky early play put me a hundo in the hole and I spent the rest of the session grinding it back.
I sat at the poker table around 10AM, but then I spotted Shoog, aka Sugar Daddy, playing on the Ultimate X machines by the poker room. Shoog moves around from machine to machine, and he nearly always leaves +EV plays wherever he goes. At first, I thought that he does this out of carelessness, or a sort of cavalier disregard for slight +EV spots, but now I'm not so sure.
I've always been careful not to disturb Shoog, to observe him without being observed by him, to jump on his old machines only when I'm sure that he's gone from the area and won't catch me bird-dogging on his slotty seconds, but I'm starting to think that he knows about me. I've been doing this same dance for months, after all.
Today, on one of his machines, Shoog left no plays, but he left a $.58 credit in the machine, which I've never seen him do before. Was this a charitable gift to a poor nit like me who has to scrape machines of their EV resin to put food on his table? Or was it a test? Or an insult? In any case, I left the credit in the machine.
Later on, at the poker table, I misplayed a hand badly preflop, and then the fickle poker gods stepped in.
An okay reg opens for $10 in the CO, and I pick up Q♣Q♠ on the BTN. This is a slam dunk 3-bet 100% of the time, unless there are ridiculous reads on either the CO or the blinds. I had already 3-bet the CO twice in two hours from late position: once with AA and once with KK, and he had snap-folded pre both times.
The third time is the adjustment. If I 3-bet him again here, he might give me zero credit and spaz 4-bet light, which would be a great spot for me. Instead, I just call. My reasoning is that I am tired of winning $13 with rare premium pocket pairs. This is a terrible line of reasoning, and I start berating myself immediately. SB folds and BB calls.
Flop ($31) - three players
Q♥2♣2♠
Spoiler
BB checks, CO bets $15, I call, BB calls.
I don't know what's going on here, but I like it. I'm not a slow-player, but I have sucked all the air out of this flop. A raise here would likely scare everyone away.
Turn ($76) - three players
J♦
BB checks, CO checks, I bet $25, BB raises to $75, CO tank folds.
Spoiler
What the hell is going on here? BB could have JJ or QJ, and that would be awesome, but that's only 6 combos. She could have one combo of 22 that beats me, but I'm paying that off all day and all night.
I feel that she has to be bluffing a lot, but what are her bluff combos? Well, finding reasonable bluff combos is not always relevant to $1/$2 play; that analysis may be a level above in some cases. BB saw me bet the turn small from the BTN when checked to. I could certainly be trying to steal the pot with air or a gutshot broadway draw.
She has $125 left in her stack. I'm in position, and I just call to keep her bluffs in.
River ($226) - heads up.
4♣
BB shoves and I snap.
Showdown ($476) - heads up
Spoiler
BB shows A♦2♥ for flopped trips, a hand she likely would have folded if I'd properly 3-bet pre. The poker gods award my blunder with a big pot.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 3 hours
+$272.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 5 hours
(-$12.70)
2024 Running Poker Total: 91 hours, +$404.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 67 hours, +$3406.03
2024 Grand Total: 158 hours, +$3810.03
Aren't you supposed to call with such hands sometimes anyway to "keep them guessing"?
That's true, Morph, but at $1/$2 they're not often paying close attention, so the need for balancing your play is more of a case by case thing, and the default "pile money in when you have a good hand" strategy is usually best.
In this case, I felt that the okay reg in the CO might have been folding too much to 3-bets, but I only had two data points to go on, and that probably wasn't enough.
The guitar and bass duel starting at 1:56 is pretty amazing.
Up until around 11PM, I was convinced that yesterday was Sunday, when it was in fact Saturday. I was surprised by the number of players still at the casino late last night, and I checked my phone to see if Monday was a holiday—it is not—and that's when I could have deduced that it was Saturday, but I did not. I remained ignorant until I got into a debate with a dealer about when the food court closed (Midnight on Sunday, 2AM on Saturday), and that tipped me off.
Dealers may know nothing about poker, but they are usually pretty solid about food courts.
Dealers may know nothing about poker, but they are usually pretty solid about food courts.
People sometimes ask me why I don't just get a job dealing poker. First of all, I'm too clumsy to pitch cards reliably. There would be too many instances of "Oops, ace of clubs exposed. Ace of clubs will be our burn card; sorry about that." over the course of the day.
Second and more importantly, I got in to this playing gig in order to be free, in order that no other arbitrary person could tell me what to do. I can imagine being berated and belittled by floor staff 20 years my junior and by miserable poker degens of all ages, and no thank you.
Tonight I'm going with friends from Norwich to see Dune 2: Dune Harder: Electric Doonaloo, so I'm heading out soon to Mohegan Sun to make a workday of it beforehand.
The slots at Mohegan sun were heavily monitored, so I didn't find many plays. Fortunately, I sat down at the softest poker table I've found in several years. At one point during the session, the table had no good regs and three bad players playing on it. And the bad players were straight up stack punters.
I've rarely seen anything like it. I responded to this gift from the poker gods by bringing my D game. I don't know if it was the change in venue, or the spirit of bad play at the table that brought it on, but I made several serious blunders in the first two hours that cost me at least $150 in EV, and around the same in actual dollars. That's close to an entire day's pay that I pissed away.
On the plus side, I managed to pull myself back together towards the end of the session and return to a B+ game in time for one of the punters to gift me his full stack. When the last of the bad players went busto, I wrapped it up and met my friends in time to head to the cineplex to watch Dune 2.
I didn't have to drive, so I took a gummy for the movie, and then I took a second gummy, and that was a mistake. I had been up since the wee hours, and the movie started at 9PM and went on for a long time.
I nodded off several times, and each time I incorporated the movie into my dreams, which made the plot and events turn surreal and nonsensical, until I woke up and found myself back at the regular movie, only to nod off again a few minutes later.
The film followed the book pretty closely, so I was able to find my bearings each time that I woke up, but i definitely missed the full-quality experience of the movie. I'll have to watch it again some time.
Mohegan Sun $1/$2 poker: 4 hours
+$588.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 4 hours
+$45.49
Mohegan Sun Slots: 2 hours
+$6.50
2024 Running Poker Total: 95 hours, +$992.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 73 hours, +$3458.02
2024 Grand Total: 168 hours, +$4450.02
green green and green
💚
People sometimes ask me why I don't just get a job dealing poker. First of all, I'm too clumsy to pitch cards reliably. There would be too many instances of "Oops, ace of clubs exposed. Ace of clubs will be our burn card; sorry about that." over the course of the day.
Second and more importantly, I got in to this playing gig in order to be free, in order that no other arbitrary person could tell me what to do. I can imagine being berated and belittled by floor staff 20 years my junior and by mis
From a GTO perspective, it's a non-transitive strategic situation for all parties.
The stupidest thing a dealer can do is to listen to the players, and the stupidest thing the players can do is listen to the dealer. When you get all these clueless people in one room, then add booze and money, we have a lot of acting out and absurd role playing. And bullies. And bottom feeders.
I haven't seen the second one yet, somehow I will have to make spa(i)ce for that in my life very soon, but I have seen the first one on many gummies many times (cos intercontinental flights 😆😉 and it's an absolute thing of beauty. You don't even need to watch it just close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack. It's what made me follow this in the first place, as a confession I haven't read any of the books so far (aint nobody got time fo dat, I will one day if the heavens permit). I know its kinda odd with my SN but I never finished the Lynch movie. I really tried several times, but it's just too odd and like incomprehensible, or whatever is the best word for that. And that's saying something cos normally I really like things that are a bit, let's just say different. Ive seen almost all the other Lynch stuff, ranking it from mediocre to excellent but that one I just cannot watch for whatever reason, I always gave up at some point in the movie deciding it was not worth my time. But the Villeneuve one, that was a thing of beauty, always. Even that one time I was on a flight from LA or something and had ingested 8 gummies before security, cos I'm an idiot I suppose. I could barely find my way to the bathroom and back, but the movie was still a pleasure. LOL
From a GTO perspective, it's a non-transitive strategic situation for all parties.
The stupidest thing a dealer can do is to listen to the players, and the stupidest thing the players can do is listen to the dealer. When you get all these clueless people in one room, then add booze and money, we have a lot of acting out and absurd role playing. And bullies. And bottom feeders.
alexa, is it true we're back to answering '1,000 things to chisel on your tombstone'
gee, our party doubles down daily
game theory feck!n' optimal
can i aid while you gtfo
From a GTO perspective, it's a non-transitive strategic situation for all parties.
The stupidest thing a dealer can do is to listen to the players, and the stupidest thing the players can do is listen to the dealer. When you get all these clueless people in one room, then add booze and money, we have a lot of acting out and absurd role playing. And bullies. And bottom feeders.
There are some nice folks as well. If I start exercising my table change option for a more favorable mental environment—and not just for the financial landscape—I might be able to counter some of those negatives more effectively.
I haven't seen the second one yet, somehow I will have to make spa(i)ce for that in my life very soon, but I have seen the first one on many gummies many times (cos intercontinental flights ��😉 and it's an absolute thing of beauty. You don't even need to watch it just close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack. It's what made me follow this in the first place, as a confession I haven't read any of the books so far (aint nobody got time fo dat, I will one day if the heavens permit
I like Denis Villeneuve a lot. He has a great eye (and ear) and can run a set piece like few others. I really liked Blade Runner 2049 as well, and I was prepared to dislike it for being a potentially unnecessary sequel to a classic, but it delivered.
I will definitely see Dune 2 again when it streams, as I did airplane gummy levels of nodding off in the theater on the first attempt, where I kept waking up afraid that I was babbling and raving aloud like I was in my dreams. MGM Springfield has movie theaters as well, so I might watch it there by myself on strictly caffeine, popcorn and butter.
alexa, is it true we're back to answering '1,000 things to chisel on your tombstone'
gee, our party doubles down daily
game theory feck!n' optimal
can i aid while you gtfo
REDeYeS00, you're tending towards metaphorical verse here, and I'm having trouble pinpointing the issue or issues.
My UCONN Huskies men's basketball team are 5:1 to win the national championship. I was going to wager a hundo on them, but I really want at least 8:1. It's very difficult to win 6 games in a row against the best teams in the nation, so no bet.
Yesterday, the poker gods were unkind. They started me off with the standard KK
After that I ran JJ into 55 on an 855JT four-flush board. Villain check-called flop and turn, then led river for $85. I fist-pump shoved the rest. I was so happy...for around 5 seconds.
With 3 hours left in the session, I was down more than $600. If I'd been drinking, I know that I would have quit from unmitigated frustration, right after the JJ hand. Being sober, I toughed it out and just played my game one hand at a time. I told myself that I could quit the table, but that I'd have to sit around the casino for next 3 hours, the new rule being that I can't go home (or sneak off and see a movie) until after my shift is over.
At the end of the session, I made some hands and got some of the money back, and I ended the day on a better note.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 6 hours
(-$228.00)
MGM Springfield Slots: 2 hours
(-$19.68)
2024 Running Poker Total: 101 hours, +$764.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 75 hours, +$3438.34
2024 Grand Total: 176 hours, +4202.34
Nice comeback suitedjustice!
I found it very impressive that you somehow kept your cool and kept playing after these few more than annoying beats.
A big congrats sir.
Yeah, that's great!
I guess that's part of being a pro, having the ability to put bad events in your rearview and move forward w/o it affecting your play. Or maybe affecting ongoing play as little as possible.
