Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis
I woke up in the middle of choking to death again; though to be accurate, it was towards the end of the process--woke up right away in a white hot panic with black spots of permanent unconsciousness swooping in across both sides of my vision.
Calm yourself, was the first important step. My lungs were soaked, steeped in the things that belonged only in my stomach, and locked up tight. My air passage was blocked and burning with bile and hydrochloric acid. No, I don't have asthma. I have a drinking problem.
Spoiler
Though, now that I think about it, is that inhaler thing any good? Maybe I'll try a hit sometime, just to see.
This was last Friday, just a few hours after I'd quit my office job of twelve years to take a shot at playing poker for a living out West in Nevada. This will not be my first shot at gambling for a living; although I have only tried something like this once before, many years ago.
Around the turn of the century I quit college most of the way through my senior year and I moved out to Las Vegas for 8 years. My experiences were somewhat of interest: rampant drunkenness, a stolen lab animal, solid card counting, North Korean meth, time spent with Mormons, advantage slot grinding, a cowardly pass on an FBI Most Wanted bounty, facing contempt of court charges, and dressing up as Albus Dumbledore. You can find that in my BBV thread.
[U][url]https://forumserver.twoplustwo.c...[/U][/URL] .
That thread held up pretty well in BBV, which is not nothing.
Starting meditative relaxation can be problematic when you're dying from choking on your own puke. I sat up straight, blind from the black splotches that had slapped away the weak light of the kitchen stove. I dropped my shoulders, relaxed my chest and upper arms, and then, projecting calm with all my might, I tried my throat. I pictured my lungs and throat opening up just a tiny passage, for just a little air to go by--something to get me started. And they did, untethering just the smallest little rivulet of air, and it made the most terrifying sound as it went through. It always does.
Whatever you've heard from actors pretending to gasp after being choked, the reality is worse. At least no one was with me this time. When that's been the case, the other person has invariably freaked the **** out when they've heard my gasping and choking routine, which only adds the burden of myself having to reassure them through nodding and non-frantic gestures, so that they won't call 911, as I hate the idea of calling the cops.
April 13th of this year was 14 months without me having a drink. During that long stretch I had honestly forgotten why I'd quit. That's right, I had completely purged from my recall the years of nighttime memories of myself almost choking to death, this happening once or twice every couple of weeks on average. Now, the terrifying night wakeups didn't happen even once during the 14 dry months. But 3 weeks back into drinking--oh yeah--there was that thing, wasn't there?.
Now, there was something else I'd forgotten about. And that's the Double Tap. The Double Tap happens when I don't force my drunk and tired and traumatized self to remain awake for a good two or three hours after a choking incident. If I fall back asleep before then, I wake up choking to death all over again. And sure enough, that happened last Friday, and I had to save myself again.
So on Saturday I jumped back on the waggy, and Cinco de Mayo is now my new anniversary date, and that's really enough about drinking. I'm not here to write about that business. I should have been done with it; and now I am.
My flight leaves for Reno in a few hours, and I'll be out there for the next 3 weeks scouting out the live poker games in the city. If I like it, that's where I'm moving to.
I've written about this before, but I can't expect anyone to find everything I write in a nearly 4000-post thread, so here it is.
The full time slot grinders in Springfield do a lot of sitting around, waiting for the normies to build the slots back up to +EV states. I have the choice of either sitting around with them, bored out of my mind, or playing poker. I make money doing the latter, and the time goes by quicker.
None of the above touches on the fact that more than 20 +EV machines have been removed from the Springfield floor so far this year and replaced with unbeatable machines, while 10 or so new slot grinders have shown up during that time to compete for the dwindling resources.
So it's poker.
Speaking of poker. I had a bad day on Tuesday. I got stuck early, then the table turned bad. I transferred to a different table, only to find myself to the left of a serial straddler.
The $5 Mississippi straddle at Springfield is allowed from any position other than the blinds, and the straddler gets to go last preflop, making the player to their left into a sort of acting UTG. If someone on my right straddles every hand, like this shitbag did, then I start all of my hands in either the blinds (who are forced to go first preflop in this configuration) or effectively UTG, which makes it very difficult to win over time, given the power of position in poker.
To counter this, I must either straddle every hand myself, which I don't like to do, or transfer tables, which I'd already just done and didn't want to bother the floor again, or switch seats and put myself on the straddler's right, which I couldn't do because no one was leaving the table.
So I quit early while I was stuck almost $500. I'm going back today to finish the session.
Today I raced against another Ultimate X video poker grinder through the banks of machines adjacent to the poker room. While we were leapfrogging over each other and desperately scrolling through screens, a third Ultimate X grinder walked into the room. He saw the two of us already vying for the machines, ruefully shook his head and walked out.
The third grinder pops into the casino quite often; I think he must live close to the casino. Either that or he doesn't mind driving a lot. My nickname for that guy is Sweatercunny because (1) he always wears a sweater and (2)
Spoiler
he's cunning.
Today was a short makeup day concluding yesterday's ragequitted session. Tomorrow I will commence with an attempt to work 4 consecutive 10-hour days, including Easter (sorry Jesus), due to a confluence of big promo payouts. I could really use one of those right about now.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 6 hours
(-$274.00)
MGM Springfield Slots: 4 hours
+$149.50
2024 Running Poker Total: 170 hours, +$1480.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 99 hours, +$5169.38
2024 Grand Total: 269 hours, +$6649.38
do you keep a spreadsheet of your daily results?
graphs are always fun
Speaking of poker. I had a bad day on Tuesday. I got stuck early, then the table turned bad. I transferred to a different table, only to find myself to the left of a serial straddler.
The $5 Mississippi straddle at Springfield is allowed from any position other than the blinds, and the straddler gets to go last preflop, making the player to their left into a sort of acting UTG. If someone on my right straddles every hand, like this shitbag did, then I start all of my hands in either the blinds (w
bro you should have tried to seat change anywhere else on that table, a serial straddler is GOLD MINE,
bro you should have tried to seat change anywhere else on that table, a serial straddler is GOLD MINE,
Correct. On one hand, Villain is effectively on the BTN preflop every hand except for the blinds, which gives him great position over everyone; on the other hand, he's committed himself to open 100% of his hands more than 75% of the time—all of his non-blind hands—for 2.5x, which should make it nearly impossible for him to win in the long run, which means that he's donating to someone.
Unfortunately, no one was leaving the table, and on his left I was leaking EV on every hand I was dealt, all of which started me effectively UTG or in the blinds. That serial straddler is a regular player, so a possible plan when I find myself on his left is to get up and leave my chips on the table for as long as I can without being picked up by the floor, and watch the table from a distance until someone on the straddler's right gets up, then return quickly and switch seats to be on his right, assuming that no one else at the table has called that seat before I can get back. They don't have seat change buttons in Springfield.
Being on his right would make me the effective cutoff most hands without having to play every hand like he does.
Am I up for this sort of game? It depends. That Villain often inspires other players at the table to straddle, which complicates things immensely.
The Dry 2024 Challenge Update
January: ✓
February: ✓
March: ✓
April: UNLOCKED
I don't own a scale at the moment, but I have gone down 2 belt notches so far this year, so I've lost some volume at least. I assume that lost volume correlates with lost weight.
The AA folks give out a special 90-day sobriety coin to their members who go to meetings and stay on the wagon for 3 months. I don't go to meetings, and if I did, I'd wager that the handful of THC gummies I've enjoyed along the way would be a deal breaker, so I'll settle for the real coin I've been making through working more hours, now that I've given up my former pastime of staying home and day drinking through the week.
Excellent work!
Currently, making a 6-high straight flush in spades using both cards in your hand will yield $8000 from the Springfield MGM poker room.
Yesterday (i.e. a few hours ago) I was dealt 6♠3♠, and I played it like a stereotypical loose passive donk. I limped, then called a raise preflop, which I almost never do. Then I check/called 2 streets on an 8♠2♥2♠5♣ board. The river brought the A♠ and I checked like a standard loose passive. Villain checked behind, but I still won a decent pot, as V had bombed the turn to get me off of my flush draw. Hee-haw; I still called.
After all, I had picked up a gutshot.
Later today, the poker room will have 5 separate $3000 random drawings, from noon until midnight. I will make an attempt to be in the room for all of them.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 6 hours
+$602.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 4 hours
+$249.15
2024 Running Poker Total: 176 hours, +$2082.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 103 hours, +$5418.53
2024 Grand Total: 279 hours, +$7500.53
Congratulations on three months, keep it going!
Congrats Suited, all positive stuff 
I know that feeling of using that next belt notch and that happiness that comes with the losing weight progression 
Yeah great stuff SJ!!
Congrats on three months.
Thanks guys!
♥♥♥♥♥
The last time I tried to do this, I tried it alone. I wanted to be the cool, stoic Clint Eastwood's Man Without a Name and power through it, and it sucked. Every day sucked.
This time, knowing that I can post, rant, speculate, philosophize or brag about the journey, and Gentle Readers will have my back, has made the effort much more pleasant and sustainable. I appreciate you so much.
Chasing after the above 3 hands cost me around $150 last night. I was dealt hands like 9♥6♥, 4♣3♣ and 6♠2♠ 8 or 9 times during the session. The poker room also had their final course of $3k random drawings last night, drawing every 3 hours from noon until midnight. I was in attendance for the duration and bricked everything.
On the slot front: 8 more +EV machines were pulled from the floor yesterday and replaced with -EV ones, while still more new slot grinder faces popped up on the floor. Right now, the advantage slot players are like brewer's yeast: multiplying every day, sucking in less and less sugar and shitting out more and more poison.
On a positive note: I found a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk outside the MGM entrance. As I snatched it up, I thought the bill was going to be one of those fake ones with bible verses printed on the back, the kind of pamphlet that absolute dirtbags sometimes leave their servers in lieu of a tip, but the bill was real, and no one accosted me as I scooped it up and moved on quickly. I used it to subtract $20 from my slot losses for the day.
Day off today. I'm heading to CVS to look at half-priced Easter candy, if there's anything good left after yesterday's rush.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 8 hours
+$87.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 3 hours
(-30.76)
2024 Running Poker Total: 184 hours, +$2169.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 106 hours, +$5387.77
2024 Grand Total: 290 hours, +$7556.77
At CVS, the remaining Easter baskets and bunnies are not on sale. Some of the related candy is listed as buy one, get the second for $1. As poker players, we know that that pot is not 50% off, more like 25%-45% off. The "dollar" store is going with only 25% off all Easter candy at the moment.
****ing greedheads. I walked out of both stores without spending a dime.
Thanks golddog!
At CVS, the remaining Easter baskets and bunnies are not on sale. Some of the related candy is listed as buy one, get the second for $1. As poker players, we know that that pot is not 50% off, more like 25%-45% off. The "dollar" store is going with only 25% off all Easter candy at the moment.
****ing greedheads. I walked out of both stores without spending a dime.
Also, I left quietly. I never berate staff for anything that's above their paygrade. When I was a lad, the convenience store I worked at was the first in its area to go over $2.00 a pack for cigarettes, and 18-year-old me, making $5.25 an hour, took a lot of crap for that, while the owner of the chain probably bought his second boat.
The Perils of Being Weak-Tight
The $8000 6-high straight flush in spades is still alive, as are the other two $4000 straight flushes. I spent around $30 chasing them yesterday; not much, but that's $30 that I don't have today.
I had a standard weak-tight player on my right yesterday, sitting there with his $100 stack and preserving it like the crown jewels. A hand comes where MP limps and it folds around to W-T in the SB, and he completes. I check the BB with A♣6♦.
I'll raise in that spot with a lot of aces, but I like to be suited, or have my kicker be 9 or higher for value, or 5 or lower for straight possibilities. A6o is a pretty weak ace.
Pot ($6) - 3 players
Flop: A♦5♥5♣
W-T bets $10 and my spidey senses go off. He has not initiated a post-flop bet in the 2 hours I've sat next to him. Still, W-T likely has a better ace, MP could have worse than us and still come along. Then an ace, a high broadway card or a 5 could hit and W-T and I can chop up MP's money. This is a very easy call. I watch in disbelief as my cards hit the muck. WTF am I doing?
Pot ($26) - heads up; hero is out
Turn: 5♦
W-T bets $15 and MP calls. Goddamnitsomuch.
Pot ($56) - heads up; hero is out
River: A♥
Huh? Two aces on the board and my ace in the muck. Two players left. That's five aces. What did MP call the turn with? In any case, the board is a boat and we would have all chopped if I hadn't made such a weak-tight fold.
Not in any case.
W-T bets $25 and MP calls.
Pot ($106) - heads up; hero is out
W-T shows 5♠2♠ for quads. MP flashes the case ace as he mucks.
If W-T hadn't been so weak tight, he could have started off with a $300 stack instead of a hundo. With our aces and a different bettor, MP and I would have called big bets across 3 streets: $15, $40 and $150 respectively, and those quads would have pulled in a $600 pot instead of just a hundo.
I complimented W-T on his hand and didn't tell him what I'd folded. And since he'd played 5♠2♠, we talked about the 6-high spade straight flush promo.
Two hands later, W-T calls in the CO after a few limps with 5♠4♠. I have complete junk and fold. W-T flashes me his hand.
Flop is Q♥2♠8♣. Someone up front bets $12 and W-T folds.
Turn: 3♠
River: 6♠
The good news is that the hand is still alive. Hopefully it's available when I return tomorrow. I was going to play today, but it snowed here. One of the perks I allow myself is to never again have to drive to work in the snow, not after so many years of it. Nowadays, if it's snowin' I ain't goin'.
MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 7 hours
+$6.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 2 hours
(-47.70)
2024 Running Poker Total: 191 hours, +$2175.00
2024 Running Slot Total: 108 hours, +$5340.07
2024 Grand Total: 299 hours, +$7515.07
Continuing with my great movie catchup, I went with Alfred Hitchcock's North By Northwest from 1959. I've been remiss about watching Hitchcock movies; before this one, I'd only seen Psycho and The Birds, both of which I'd watched when I was a boy.
Part of it, I think, is my aversion to black and white. I'm a history nerd, but the world before I was born was experienced in color, not in black and white, not in sepia tones. I like to see what the world looked like, in color.
Fortunately, Hitchcock shot 14 of his movies in color, and North By Northwest was one of them. It was great to see 1959 New York portrayed this way. Some of the shots are exceptional in their composition. The UN building is one:
And the villain's Vandamm House—clearly an homage to Frank Lloyd Wright's architectural work—is another:
The set piece stunts are great for the time: a crop duster pulls off a wild stunt with a tanker truck, and later on the heroes and villains clamber around all over the presidents' faces on Mt. Rushmore.
This was also the first good look I've had at Cary Grant, as he retired from acting in 1966 at the age of 62, only a year older than Tom Cruise is now. Grant was everything I've read about: handsome, cool, suave, urbane, and dryly humorous, only he was around 3x more of these things than I thought possible.
Grant's co-star was Eva Marie Saint, one of Hitch's famous strong, mysterious blondes; captivating women who were not particularly overburdened with morals or scruples.
The main characters sleep together on a train a few hours after they've met, and this is a difficult plot point to pull off in 1959, during the reign of the Hays Code, which specified that movies should be censoring any sort of licentious behavior. Couples, even married couples, should not be shown sleeping together when the implication is that they're having sex.
Hitch expertly tiptoes around this until later on in the movie, when he can't seem to help himself. He shows Grant and Saint in their pajamas making out on the train, and then he cuts to this scene...
Spoiler
North By Northwest was quite good, so I've added Notorious and Rear Window to my movie list.
The next movie has Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck in the Yardbirds in 1966, just at the beginning of London's Swinging Sixties.
North by Northwest my favorite Hitchcock. I know nearly everybody else puts Vertigo as the best (or very nearly) movie ever made, but I prefer this one. A couple things:
Heard somewhere over the years that during the filming of the cropduster scene, know that Grant had an aversion to spiders, Hitchcock put a tarantula in the field right where Grant was to dive. Hence the legit terrified reaction.
Also, that last shot is jut to assure the audience that Mr. and Mrs. Thornhill were getting back to NYC safely, with no other implications. 😉
The Rope is incredible and personal fav ; one shot sequence and with tints of Crime and Punishment nihilist philosophy absolutely got me
The Perils of Being Weak-Tight
The $8000 6-high straight flush in spades is still alive, as are the other two $4000 straight flushes. I spent around $30 chasing them yesterday; not much, but that's $30 that I don't have today.
I had a standard weak-tight player on my right yesterday, sitting there with his $100 stack and preserving it like the crown jewels. A hand comes where MP limps and it folds around to W-T in the SB, and he completes. I check the BB with A♣6♦.
I'll raise in that spot with a lot
Bro it’s mental to allow a limper and small blind to see a flop without a raise when you have any A in your hand. Should have made it 12 or 15. Just play your weaker Ax hands as bluffs repping as a premium A and if you meet significant resistance just over fold. I know it’s offsuit but you gotta punish thee limpers. PUNISH THEE!
Also if you’re going to play the promo-chase hands I would probably mix them into my bluffing range alongside your low suited Ks and As. Might as well balance your pre flop opening range. You’re gonna get some sick looks when you open the 6s4s and stack JJ after calling a small 3bet when the board comes out 5s-Js-7x-2x-8x lol
Otherwise love to see you posting green numbers and congrats on the sober months. It will keep correlating to positive work results so keep it up
E
